What is this thing anyway????

[Guest guest]

>

> The other thing I have noticed and was wondering if others felt this way is

that there

> seems to be a huge part of this that has to do with control. I find that if I

feel in control

> of a noise, it doesn't bother me (which is why I can type and clink my own

fork and not

> be bothered.) The more I can't control the noise, feel that it won't stop, or

especially

> that I can't get away from it, the more insane I get. I suppose that just

relates to the

> anxiety?

>

Yes! Yes! What IS that control part of it? I guess that's why for me, it's so

much worse with

family members - they KNOW their sounds bug me, and they still don't stop and I

can't

make them! Of course, on a rational level, I know they don't do it on purpose,

and many of

the sounds that bother me wouldn't bother many people, so it is my " issue. "

That being

said, my 4s is often triggered by a comment from another person that gives ANY

credence

to my own annoyance. For example, years and years ago, I confided to a friend

that I

hated the way my mother chewed and couldn't bear to be in the same room while

she ate.

The friend (an 11 year old!) responded something like, " you mean, when she puts

the food

on one side of her mouth and keep talking! " (only an 11 year old would actually

say this!)

Well, that wasn't even what did bother me - it was mostly the sound of my

mother's

chewing - but after that, all bets were off. I became outright hostile and even

more

agitated by her sounds. Same thing with my son. One of his friends commented

on my

son's sloppy eating, and after that, the trigger was pulled!

What is THAT about? I am just so simultaneously intrigued and saddened by all

these

posts, after so many years (decades!) of thinking I was all alone. Is it an

auditory

disorder? sensory disorder? phobia? anxiety disorder? OCD? And why wouldn't a

drug like

zoloft (which I was on for several years) make it better?

I wonder if we would all be helped by some serious meditation . . . I do find

that simple

breathing exercises when I am feeling really stressed (like at Thanksgiving

dinner, for

example) can help a great deal. Anyone try this on a more regular or serious

level?

Kate in NY