Re: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in th...

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You are really having a hard time aren't you and so is your husband. A special needs child destroys about 80% of marriages. It would be helpful if your husband would go to counseling with you, but if he won't you should go yourself. Do you have a church near you that has a counselor on staff? What kind of help do you have? any family or friends? Do you have respite care? Do you have anyone who can come in and keep the children for you and your husband to go out for a couple of hours? What brought the two of you together?

It takes a lot of work to keep a marriage together even with normal children. Unless you and your children are truly in danger I urge you to do what you can to save your marriage. Pat K (Ph.D. LMFT)

Ever since we found out about the autism it has been different in or marriage. He started not wanting to take us places. He didn't want me to take him out in public because he people wouldn't understand. Then I got prg with my baby girl and he started drinking. Last year his parents got a divorced and thats when it got really bad. He went like on this drinking beng. Know he drinks every day he is off like a 12 pack a day or after he runs out goes to get a 6 pack. I am a stay at home mom and do everything I cook the meals, clean, go to the store. I have been scared of him too like I don't what he will do to me if he gets mad. Last time he got really made he shuved me in to our frig. He threaten to hit me 3 months ago while in the car on the way to the doctor. Whats wierd though i don't care about the drinking anymore. Cause he is nice he is a different person. I'm not saying that I used to drink and made mistakes but do the best I can. When I saw how bad it was getting with his drinking I stopped becuase I thought I can't do this. My kids need someone that can be the best mom that they can be. But I mean we have totally lost touch with each other. We fight not talk about anything. We leave each other alone and don't do anythning together. We take once a month and sit down and watch a show. Then just a couple of days a go I asked him what are we going to do. He said I really don't care anymore. So what does mean? Do I just need to tell him after the holidays we need a break and one of us move out. Or should I just keep taking this and try to be happy. I dont' know what to do at this point because i'm so scared to what ever I need to do. Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com.

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Oh, you need to be watching a movie together at least once a week or more, meet for lunch etc. No, one of you doesn't need to move out unless you are in physical danger. Pat K

Ever since we found out about the autism it has been different in or marriage. He started not wanting to take us places. He didn't want me to take him out in public because he people wouldn't understand. Then I got prg with my baby girl and he started drinking. Last year his parents got a divorced and thats when it got really bad. He went like on this drinking beng. Know he drinks every day he is off like a 12 pack a day or after he runs out goes to get a 6 pack. I am a stay at home mom and do everything I cook the meals, clean, go to the store. I have been scared of him too like I don't what he will do to me if he gets mad. Last time he got really made he shuved me in to our frig. He threaten to hit me 3 months ago while in the car on the way to the doctor. Whats wierd though i don't care about the drinking anymore. Cause he is nice he is a different person. I'm not saying that I used to drink and made mistakes but do the best I can. When I saw how bad it was getting with his drinking I stopped becuase I thought I can't do this. My kids need someone that can be the best mom that they can be. But I mean we have totally lost touch with each other. We fight not talk about anything. We leave each other alone and don't do anythning together. We take once a month and sit down and watch a show. Then just a couple of days a go I asked him what are we going to do. He said I really don't care anymore. So what does mean? Do I just need to tell him after the holidays we need a break and one of us move out. Or should I just keep taking this and try to be happy. I dont' know what to do at this point because i'm so scared to what ever I need to do. Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Read the books yourself. You can't change him; don't even try. Just work on changing yourself. It's like a dance; if one partner changes his dance step the other partner has to change his or he will get his foot stepped on. smile. Pat K

Ya, I had told him that we could go to counceling but he said we didn't need it. The books might help some but if he isn't willing to read it then what should I do?

From: Lindy <sun_flower_1587@ yahoo.com>Subject: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in there marriage?To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, December 1, 2008, 6:53 PM

Ever since we found out about the autism it has been different in or marriage. He started not wanting to take us places. He didn't want me to take him out in public because he people wouldn't understand. Then I got prg with my baby girl and he started drinking. Last year his parents got a divorced and thats when it got really bad. He went like on this drinking beng. Know he drinks every day he is off like a 12 pack a day or after he runs out goes to get a 6 pack. I am a stay at home mom and do everything I cook the meals, clean, go to the store. I have been scared of him too like I don't what he will do to me if he gets mad. Last time he got really made he shuved me in to our frig. He threaten to hit me 3 months ago while in the car on the way to the doctor. Whats wierd though i don't care about the drinking anymore. Cause he is nice he is a different person. I'm not saying that I used to drink and made mistakes but do the best I can. When I saw how bad it was getting with his drinking I stopped becuase I thought I can't do this. My kids need someone that can be the best mom that they can be. But I mean we have totally lost touch with each other. We fight not talk about anything. We leave each other alone and don't do anythning together. We take once a month and sit down and watch a show. Then just a couple of days a go I asked him what are we going to do. He said I really don't care anymore. So what does mean? Do I just need to tell him after the holidays we need a break and one of us move out. Or should I just keep taking this and try to be happy. I dont' know what to do at this point because i'm so scared to what ever I need to do.

Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Good, keep smiling; a smile goes a long way toward making you feel better inside; plus women are always prettier when they smile. Plus, it will make him wonder what you have been up to. Pat K

Thanks for the comment i will smile.

From: Lindy <sun_flower_1587@ yahoo.com>Subject: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in there marriage?To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, December 1, 2008, 6:53 PM

Ever since we found out about the autism it has been different in or marriage. He started not wanting to take us places. He didn't want me to take him out in public because he people wouldn't understand. Then I got prg with my baby girl and he started drinking. Last year his parents got a divorced and thats when it got really bad. He went like on this drinking beng. Know he drinks every day he is off like a 12 pack a day or after he runs out goes to get a 6 pack. I am a stay at home mom and do everything I cook the meals, clean, go to the store. I have been scared of him too like I don't what he will do to me if he gets mad. Last time he got really made he shuved me in to our frig. He threaten to hit me 3 months ago while in the car on the way to the doctor. Whats wierd though i don't care about the drinking anymore. Cause he is nice he is a different person. I'm not saying that I used to drink and made mistakes but do the best I can. When I saw how bad it was getting with his drinking I stopped becuase I thought I can't do this. My kids need someone that can be the best mom that they can be. But I mean we have totally lost touch with each other. We fight not talk about anything. We leave each other alone and don't do anythning together. We take once a month and sit down and watch a show. Then just a couple of days a go I asked him what are we going to do. He said I really don't care anymore. So what does mean? Do I just need to tell him after the holidays we need a break and one of us move out. Or should I just keep taking this and try to be happy. I dont' know what to do at this point because i'm so scared to what ever I need to do.

Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com. Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

e, you are the biggest encourager on this list. I don't know what we would do with out you. hugs, Pat K

Pat K, you are the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lindy, I said a prayer for you just now...Blessings to you and yours....it's so hard.

e

From: "pkuenstleraol" <pkuenstleraol>To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 10:05:17 AMSubject: Re: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in th...

Read the books yourself. You can't change him; don't even try. Just work on changing yourself. It's like a dance; if one partner changes his dance step the other partner has to change his or he will get his foot stepped on. smile. Pat K

In a message dated 12/2/2008 9:57:39 A.M. Central Standard Time, sun_flower_1587@ yahoo.com writes:

Ya, I had told him that we could go to counceling but he said we didn't need it. The books might help some but if he isn't willing to read it then what should I do?

From: Lindy <sun_flower_1587@ yahoo.com>Subject: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in there marriage?To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, December 1, 2008, 6:53 PM

Ever since we found out about the autism it has been different in or marriage. He started not wanting to take us places. He didn't want me to take him out in public because he people wouldn't understand. Then I got prg with my baby girl and he started drinking. Last year his parents got a divorced and thats when it got really bad. He went like on this drinking beng. Know he drinks every day he is off like a 12 pack a day or after he runs out goes to get a 6 pack. I am a stay at home mom and do everything I cook the meals, clean, go to the store. I have been scared of him too like I don't what he will do to me if he gets mad. Last time he got really made he shuved me in to our frig. He threaten to hit me 3 months ago while in the car on the way to the doctor. Whats wierd though i don't care about the drinking anymore. Cause he is nice he is a different person. I'm not saying that I used to drink and made mistakes but do the best I can. When I saw how bad it was getting with his drinking I stopped becuase I thought I can't do this. My kids need someone that can be the best mom that they can be. But I mean we have totally lost touch with each other. We fight not talk about anything. We leave each other alone and don't do anythning together. We take once a month and sit down and watch a show. Then just a couple of days a go I asked him what are we going to do. He said I really don't care anymore. So what does mean? Do I just need to tell him after the holidays we need a break and one of us move out. Or should I just keep taking this and try to be happy. I dont' know what to do at this point because i'm so scared to what ever I need to do.

Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com.

Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

It sounds to me like he is in a clinical depression; try not to let it drag you down too. Do what you can to make yourself happy. I really don't think he can help himself right now. I'm amazed that he is still able to work. The only thing I would say to him right now is, "I'm so sorry that you feel so bad". If he won't get help there is absolutely nothing you can do except pray for him and try to take care of yourself and your children. Look to others to give you support because he is unable; it is not that he doesn't want to; he is just unable. Hopefully in time he may be able to pull himself out of it. Has he been a strong person in the past? What are his strengths and his resources? Pat K

Thats the thing he told me that he doesn't want to be a better person. Doesn't want to take medication to feel better doesn't want to talk about or see some one. Every thing that I suggested he has shot down. He said he doesn't really care anymore. He just said that like on Saturday this last Saturday. I mean how am I supose to talk to someone that doesn't care about him self. I told him that I don't care about me anymore that much either because of things have been since may of last year. I'm sorry to hold this over his head but On mothers day you know what I go..... NOTHING... thats how much he cared about me. Didn't take me out not even a card from the dollar store. So I didn't get him anything either for fathers day. So know that xmas is coming I told my mom i'm not getting him anything for xmas. That if he good I might get stuff for his stocking and thats it. I'm sorry i;m just really upset about the whole thing. I'm tired of hurting and crying an my kids seeing upset and sad. Ok well i'm done talking sorry to give you all such a ear

From: Lindy <sun_flower_1587@ yahoo.com>Subject: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in there marriage?To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, December 1, 2008, 6:53 PM

Ever since we found out about the autism it has been different in or marriage. He started not wanting to take us places. He didn't want me to take him out in public because he people wouldn't understand. Then I got prg with my baby girl and he started drinking. Last year his parents got a divorced and thats when it got really bad. He went like on this drinking beng. Know he drinks every day he is off like a 12 pack a day or after he runs out goes to get a 6 pack. I am a stay at home mom and do everything I cook the meals, clean, go to the store. I have been scared of him too like I don't what he will do to me if he gets mad. Last time he got really made he shuved me in to our frig. He threaten to hit me 3 months ago while in the car on the way to the doctor. Whats wierd though i don't care about the drinking anymore. Cause he is nice he is a different person. I'm not saying that I used to drink and made mistakes but do the best I can. When I saw how bad it was getting with his drinking I stopped becuase I thought I can't do this. My kids need someone that can be the best mom that they can be. But I mean we have totally lost touch with each other. We fight not talk about anything. We leave each other alone and don't do anythning together. We take once a month and sit down and watch a show. Then just a couple of days a go I asked him what are we going to do. He said I really don't care anymore. So what does mean? Do I just need to tell him after the holidays we need a break and one of us move out. Or should I just keep taking this and try to be happy. I dont' know what to do at this point because i'm so scared to what ever I need to do.

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I can;t stress it enough. Find yourself a support group. AA's can be a good support group for family members of alcoholics. Who are your friends? What family do you have? Do you have a church family? My heart just goes out to you. Where do you live? What is available to you in your community? The best way you can help your husband and your kids is to take care of yourself. I know how hard it is; my husband went through a period of depression, but you can do it. Pat K

I just wanted to think every one for the great advice I hope that i can read this books and feel better about what i'm going through. If not I want to whats best for my kids and me.

From: Lindy <sun_flower_1587@ yahoo.com>Subject: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in there marriage?To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, December 1, 2008, 6:53 PM

Ever since we found out about the autism it has been different in or marriage. He started not wanting to take us places. He didn't want me to take him out in public because he people wouldn't understand. Then I got prg with my baby girl and he started drinking. Last year his parents got a divorced and thats when it got really bad. He went like on this drinking beng. Know he drinks every day he is off like a 12 pack a day or after he runs out goes to get a 6 pack. I am a stay at home mom and do everything I cook the meals, clean, go to the store. I have been scared of him too like I don't what he will do to me if he gets mad. Last time he got really made he shuved me in to our frig. He threaten to hit me 3 months ago while in the car on the way to the doctor. Whats wierd though i don't care about the drinking anymore. Cause he is nice he is a different person. I'm not saying that I used to drink and made mistakes but do the best I can. When I saw how bad it was getting with his drinking I stopped becuase I thought I can't do this. My kids need someone that can be the best mom that they can be. But I mean we have totally lost touch with each other. We fight not talk about anything. We leave each other alone and don't do anythning together. We take once a month and sit down and watch a show. Then just a couple of days a go I asked him what are we going to do. He said I really don't care anymore. So what does mean? Do I just need to tell him after the holidays we need a break and one of us move out. Or should I just keep taking this and try to be happy. I dont' know what to do at this point because i'm so scared to what ever I need to do.

Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the comment i will smile.

From: Lindy <sun_flower_1587@ yahoo.com>Subject: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in there marriage?To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, December 1, 2008, 6:53 PM

Ever since we found out about the autism it has been different in or marriage. He started not wanting to take us places. He didn't want me to take him out in public because he people wouldn't understand. Then I got prg with my baby girl and he started drinking. Last year his parents got a divorced and thats when it got really bad. He went like on this drinking beng. Know he drinks every day he is off like a 12 pack a day or after he runs out goes to get a 6 pack. I am a stay at home mom and do everything I cook the meals, clean, go to the store. I have been scared of him too like I don't what he will do to me if he gets mad. Last time he got really made he shuved me in to our frig. He threaten to hit me 3 months ago while in the car on the way to the doctor. Whats wierd though i don't care about the drinking anymore. Cause he is nice he is a different person. I'm not saying that I used to

drink and made mistakes but do the best I can. When I saw how bad it was getting with his drinking I stopped becuase I thought I can't do this. My kids need someone that can be the best mom that they can be. But I mean we have totally lost touch with each other. We fight not talk about anything. We leave each other alone and don't do anythning together. We take once a month and sit down and watch a show. Then just a couple of days a go I asked him what are we going to do. He said I really don't care anymore. So what does mean? Do I just need to tell him after the holidays we need a break and one of us move out. Or should I just keep taking this and try to be happy. I dont' know what to do at this point because i'm so scared to what ever I need to do.

Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Yep, if he won't go to therapy or read a book and learn how to feel better/ be a better person he has given you the answer to the question of whether he is capable of being a good partner. To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 8:11:12 AMSubject: Re: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in th...

Thanks for the comment i will smile.

From: Lindy <sun_flower_1587@ yahoo.com>Subject: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in there marriage?To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, December 1, 2008, 6:53 PM

Ever since we found out about the autism it has been different in or marriage.  He started not wanting to take us places.  He didn't want me to take him out in public because he people wouldn't understand.  Then I got prg with my baby girl and he started drinking.  Last year his parents got a divorced and thats when it got really bad.  He went like on this drinking beng.  Know he drinks every day he is off like a 12 pack a day or after he runs out goes to get a 6 pack. I am a stay at home mom and do everything I cook the meals, clean, go to the store.  I have been scared of him too like I don't what he will do to me if he gets mad. Last time he got really made he shuved me in to our frig. He threaten to hit me 3 months ago while in the car on the way to the doctor. Whats wierd though i don't care about the drinking anymore.  Cause he is nice he is a different person. I'm not saying that I used to

drink and made mistakes but do the best I can.  When I saw how bad it was getting with his drinking I stopped becuase I thought I can't do this.  My kids need someone that can be the best mom that they can be.   But  I mean we have totally lost touch with each other.  We fight not talk about anything.  We leave each other alone and don't do anythning together.  We take once a month and sit down and watch a show.  Then just a couple of days a go I asked him what are we going to do.  He said I really don't care anymore.  So what does mean?  Do I just need to tell him after the holidays we need a break and one of us move out.  Or should I just keep taking this and try to be happy.  I dont' know what to do at this point because i'm so scared to what ever I need to do.

Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Pat K, you are the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lindy, I said a prayer for you just now...Blessings to you and yours....it's so hard.

e

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 10:05:17 AMSubject: Re: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in th...

Read the books yourself. You can't change him; don't even try. Just work on changing yourself. It's like a dance; if one partner changes his dance step the other partner has to change his or he will get his foot stepped on. smile. Pat K

In a message dated 12/2/2008 9:57:39 A.M. Central Standard Time, sun_flower_1587@ yahoo.com writes:

Ya, I had told him that we could go to counceling but he said we didn't need it. The books might help some but if he isn't willing to read it then what should I do?

From: Lindy <sun_flower_1587@ yahoo.com>Subject: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in there marriage?To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, December 1, 2008, 6:53 PM

Ever since we found out about the autism it has been different in or marriage. He started not wanting to take us places. He didn't want me to take him out in public because he people wouldn't understand. Then I got prg with my baby girl and he started drinking. Last year his parents got a divorced and thats when it got really bad. He went like on this drinking beng. Know he drinks every day he is off like a 12 pack a day or after he runs out goes to get a 6 pack. I am a stay at home mom and do everything I cook the meals, clean, go to the store. I have been scared of him too like I don't what he will do to me if he gets mad. Last time he got really made he shuved me in to our frig. He threaten to hit me 3 months ago while in the car on the way to the doctor. Whats wierd though i don't care about the drinking anymore. Cause he is nice he is a different person. I'm not saying that I used to

drink and made mistakes but do the best I can. When I saw how bad it was getting with his drinking I stopped becuase I thought I can't do this. My kids need someone that can be the best mom that they can be. But I mean we have totally lost touch with each other. We fight not talk about anything. We leave each other alone and don't do anythning together. We take once a month and sit down and watch a show. Then just a couple of days a go I asked him what are we going to do. He said I really don't care anymore. So what does mean? Do I just need to tell him after the holidays we need a break and one of us move out. Or should I just keep taking this and try to be happy. I dont' know what to do at this point because i'm so scared to what ever I need to do.

Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Thats the thing he told me that he doesn't want to be a better person. Doesn't want to take medication to feel better doesn't want to talk about or see some one. Every thing that I suggested he has shot down. He said he doesn't really care anymore. He just said that like on Saturday this last Saturday. I mean how am I supose to talk to someone that doesn't care about him self. I told him that I don't care about me anymore that much either because of things have been since may of last year. I'm sorry to hold this over his head but On mothers day you know what I go..... NOTHING... thats how much he cared about me. Didn't take me out not even a card from the dollar store. So I didn't get him anything either for fathers day. So know that xmas is coming I told my mom i'm not getting him anything for

xmas. That if he good I might get stuff for his stocking and thats it. I'm sorry i;m just really upset about the whole thing. I'm tired of hurting and crying an my kids seeing upset and sad. Ok well i'm done talking sorry to give you all such a ear full

From: Lindy <sun_flower_1587@ yahoo.com>Subject: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in there marriage?To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, December 1, 2008, 6:53 PM

Ever since we found out about the autism it has been different in or marriage. He started not wanting to take us places. He didn't want me to take him out in public because he people wouldn't understand. Then I got prg with my baby girl and he started drinking. Last year his parents got a divorced and thats when it got really bad. He went like on this drinking beng. Know he drinks every day he is off like a 12 pack a day or after he runs out goes to get a 6 pack. I am a stay at home mom and do everything I cook the meals, clean, go to the store. I have been scared of him too like I don't what he will do to me if he gets mad. Last time he got really made he shuved me in to our frig. He threaten to hit me 3 months ago while in the car on the way to the doctor. Whats wierd though i don't care about the drinking anymore. Cause he is nice he is a different person. I'm not saying that I used to

drink and made mistakes but do the best I can. When I saw how bad it was getting with his drinking I stopped becuase I thought I can't do this. My kids need someone that can be the best mom that they can be. But I mean we have totally lost touch with each other. We fight not talk about anything. We leave each other alone and don't do anythning together. We take once a month and sit down and watch a show. Then just a couple of days a go I asked him what are we going to do. He said I really don't care anymore. So what does mean? Do I just need to tell him after the holidays we need a break and one of us move out. Or should I just keep taking this and try to be happy. I dont' know what to do at this point because i'm so scared to what ever I need to do.

Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

Thats the thing he told me that he doesn't want to be a better person. Doesn't want to take medication to feel better doesn't want to talk about or see some one. Every thing that I suggested he has shot down. He said he doesn't really care anymore. He just said that like on Saturday this last Saturday. I mean how am I supose to talk to someone that doesn't care about him self. I told him that I don't care about me anymore that much either because of things have been since may of last year. I'm sorry to hold this over his head but On mothers day you know what I go..... NOTHING... thats how much he cared about me. Didn't take me out not even a card from the dollar store. So I didn't get him anything either for fathers day. So know that xmas is coming I told my mom i'm not getting him anything for

xmas. That if he good I might get stuff for his stocking and thats it. I'm sorry i;m just really upset about the whole thing. I'm tired of hurting and crying an my kids seeing upset and sad. Ok well i'm done talking sorry to give you all such a ear

From: Lindy <sun_flower_1587@ yahoo.com>Subject: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in there marriage?To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, December 1, 2008, 6:53 PM

Ever since we found out about the autism it has been different in or marriage. He started not wanting to take us places. He didn't want me to take him out in public because he people wouldn't understand. Then I got prg with my baby girl and he started drinking. Last year his parents got a divorced and thats when it got really bad. He went like on this drinking beng. Know he drinks every day he is off like a 12 pack a day or after he runs out goes to get a 6 pack. I am a stay at home mom and do everything I cook the meals, clean, go to the store. I have been scared of him too like I don't what he will do to me if he gets mad. Last time he got really made he shuved me in to our frig. He threaten to hit me 3 months ago while in the car on the way to the doctor. Whats wierd though i don't care about the drinking anymore. Cause he is nice he is a different person. I'm not saying that I used to

drink and made mistakes but do the best I can. When I saw how bad it was getting with his drinking I stopped becuase I thought I can't do this. My kids need someone that can be the best mom that they can be. But I mean we have totally lost touch with each other. We fight not talk about anything. We leave each other alone and don't do anythning together. We take once a month and sit down and watch a show. Then just a couple of days a go I asked him what are we going to do. He said I really don't care anymore. So what does mean? Do I just need to tell him after the holidays we need a break and one of us move out. Or should I just keep taking this and try to be happy. I dont' know what to do at this point because i'm so scared to what ever I need to do.

Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

He just sounds really depressed. You returning the favors aren't going to help the situtation any. It just helps him justify his behavior and add to the contentment. Try everything that you can to make him feel better.

You spouse should be the most important thing to you and somehow we are gulity of putting our spouses last and letting them see the worse side of us.

We would never punish our children for forgetting mothers day or being depressed we would do everything possible to help him.

You are his help meet not his judge or his mother. Maybe it would help to have his mother tell him to see a counselor. You can suggest things to your spouse but a wife or a husband should never tell them to do something.

Try using " I would appreciate if you would" " I would really like you to".... I think we all tend to mother our husbands : )

From: Lindy <sun_flower_1587@ yahoo.com>Subject: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in there marriage?To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, December 1, 2008, 6:53 PM

Ever since we found out about the autism it has been different in or marriage. He started not wanting to take us places. He didn't want me to take him out in public because he people wouldn't understand. Then I got prg with my baby girl and he started drinking. Last year his parents got a divorced and thats when it got really bad. He went like on this drinking beng. Know he drinks every day he is off like a 12 pack a day or after he runs out goes to get a 6 pack. I am a stay at home mom and do everything I cook the meals, clean, go to the store. I have been scared of him too like I don't what he will do to me if he gets mad. Last time he got really made he shuved me in to our frig. He threaten to hit me 3 months ago while in the car on the way to the doctor. Whats wierd though i don't care about the drinking anymore. Cause he is nice he is a different person. I'm not saying that I used to

drink and made mistakes but do the best I can. When I saw how bad it was getting with his drinking I stopped becuase I thought I can't do this. My kids need someone that can be the best mom that they can be. But I mean we have totally lost touch with each other. We fight not talk about anything. We leave each other alone and don't do anythning together. We take once a month and sit down and watch a show. Then just a couple of days a go I asked him what are we going to do. He said I really don't care anymore. So what does mean? Do I just need to tell him after the holidays we need a break and one of us move out. Or should I just keep taking this and try to be happy. I dont' know what to do at this point because i'm so scared to what ever I need to do.

Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com.

[Guest guest]

"I can;t stress it enough.  Find yourself a support group.  AA's can be a good support group  for family members of alcoholics.  Who are your friends?  What family do you have?  Do you have a church family? My heart just goes out to you.  Where do you live?  What is available to you in your community? The best way you can help your husband and your kids is to take care of yourself.  I know how hard it is; my husband went through a period of depression, but you can do it. Pat K "Hi Lindy, Pat K is so

right!an Al-Anon web site: http://www.hilltoppers-afg.org/resources/love_alcoholic.phpFrom: "pkuenstler@..." To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Tuesday, December 2, 2008 11:44:05 AMSubject: Re: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in th...

I can;t stress it enough.  Find yourself a support group.  AA's can be a good support group  for family members of alcoholics.  Who are your friends?  What family do you have?  Do you have a church family? My heart just goes out to you.  Where do you live?  What is available to you in your community? The best way you can help your husband and your kids is to take care of yourself.  I know how hard it is; my husband went through a period of depression, but you can do it. Pat K 

 

In a message dated 12/2/2008 1:33:43 P.M. Central Standard Time, sun_flower_1587@ yahoo.com writes:

I just wanted to think every one for the great advice I hope that  i can read this books and feel better about what i'm going through.  If not I want to whats best for my kids and me.

From: Lindy <sun_flower_1587@ yahoo.com>Subject: Offsubject, was wondering if anyone is having problems in there marriage?To: AutismBehaviorProbl emsyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Monday, December 1, 2008, 6:53 PM

Ever since we found out about the autism it has been different in or marriage.  He started not wanting to take us places.  He didn't want me to take him out in public because he people wouldn't understand.  Then I got prg with my baby girl and he started drinking.  Last year his parents got a divorced and thats when it got really bad.  He went like on this drinking beng.  Know he drinks every day he is off like a 12 pack a day or after he runs out goes to get a 6 pack. I am a stay at home mom and do everything I cook the meals, clean, go to the store..  I have been scared of him too like I don't what he will do to me if he gets mad. Last time he got really made he shuved me in to our frig. He threaten to hit me 3 months ago while in the car on the way to the doctor. Whats wierd though i don't care about the drinking anymore.  Cause he is nice he is a different person. I'm not saying that I used to drink and made mistakes but do the best I can.  When I saw how bad it was getting with his drinking I stopped becuase I thought I can't do this.  My kids need someone that can be the best mom that they can be.   But  I mean we have totally lost touch with each other.  We fight not talk about anything.  We leave each other alone and don't do anythning together.  We take once a month and sit down and watch a show.  Then just a couple of days a go I asked him what are we going to do.  He said I really don't care anymore.  So what does mean?  Do I just need to tell him after the holidays we need a break and one of us move out.  Or should I just keep taking this and try to be happy.  I dont' know what to do at this point because i'm so scared to what ever I need to do.

Life should be easier. So should your homepage. Try the NEW AOL.com.