Re: Fire Alarms

[Guest guest]

Wow Kellie! I don't know what to really say to this other then to offer you my support and love!StacieSent via BlackBerry by AT&TDate: Fri, 21 Nov 2008 11:27:41 -0000To: <AutismBehaviorProblems >Subject: Fire Alarms Hi Everyone, This weekend something happened and I'm not sure how to handle it. This is going to be pretty long so I apologise in advance. has been obsessed with fire alarms for awhile. Every year during fire safety month he starts again. Well on Saturday got on You Tube and started playing a video of a fire alarm and then he did this. He would hit play and then run very fast to the entry way of our house and touch s picture and say hi when the alarm started he would say bye . He did this at least 9 times in a row. He hasn't done this before and I was watching him and it hit me. The day died it was the fire station that responded to the 911 and they had their coats and boots and everything on. The firemen carried his sister out and he never saw her again. The next year at school (after fire safety week) he pulled the fire alarm 3 times. He was only 3 1/2 when this happened and had almost no language. I think he was trying to get the firemen to come and bring back. On Saturday I asked where was and he looked very distressed and said firemen. We have tried several times over the years to explain that was in heaven with god and jesus and we take him to the cemetary with us at least 2 times a year. Her stone has her picture on it but to him its just another picture of . I don't know what else to do with this. I don't want him to be afraid of the firemen or not to go with them if he needs to but in his then 3 year old mind it makes total sense that he would think this. How do I help him understand something as abstract as heaven? We don't talk about much when or Paige are around. I have experience being on their side of the fence. My mother lost 2 babies to sids before I was born and she never really learned to deal with it. She drank through my childhood and she would cry all the time. In my little mind it was the babies fault and I hated them. I don't want my kids to feel that way so I don't go there very often and I only let myself think of her on her birthday and when I am alone. I only mentioned that so you know I'm not bringing her up to all the time. Has anyone had to explain the death of a loved one to their autistic child and has anything worked? Sorry again this is long. Kellie

[Guest guest]

so devestating kellie--no answers..only a hug.

((((Kellie & ))))

e

To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Friday, November 21, 2008 5:27:41 AMSubject: Fire Alarms

Hi Everyone,This weekend something happened and I'm not sure how to handle it. This is going to be pretty long so I apologise in advance. has been obsessed with fire alarms for awhile. Every year during fire safety month he starts again. Well on Saturday got on You Tube and started playing a video of a fire alarm and then he did this. He would hit play and then run very fast to the entry way of our house and touch s picture and say hi when the alarm started he would say bye . He did this at least 9 times in a row. He hasn't done this before and I was watching him and it hit me. The day died it was the fire station that responded to the 911 and they had their coats and boots and everything on. The firemen carried his sister out and he never saw her again. The next year at school (after fire safety week) he pulled the fire alarm 3 times. He was only 3 1/2 when

this happened and had almost no language. I think he was trying to get the firemen to come and bring back. On Saturday I asked where was and he looked very distressed and said firemen. We have tried several times over the years to explain that was in heaven with god and jesus and we take him to the cemetary with us at least 2 times a year. Her stone has her picture on it but to him its just another picture of . I don't know what else to do with this. I don't want him to be afraid of the firemen or not to go with them if he needs to but in his then 3 year old mind it makes total sense that he would think this. How do I help him understand something as abstract as heaven? We don't talk about much when or Paige are around. I have experience being on their side of the fence. My mother lost 2 babies to sids before I was born and she never really learned to deal

with it. She drank through my childhood and she would cry all the time. In my little mind it was the babies fault and I hated them. I don't want my kids to feel that way so I don't go there very often and I only let myself think of her on her birthday and when I am alone. I only mentioned that so you know I'm not bringing her up to all the time. Has anyone had to explain the death of a loved one to their autistic child and has anything worked? Sorry again this is long. Kellie

[Guest guest]

(((((Kellie & )))))

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

I don't know too much about reading minds LOL, but it sounds as if he

may think the firemen took her, and wants them to bring her back.

Is there a fire station close to you that you could go to and talk to

them to see if they would be willing to talk to ?

I know that all of the local emergency responders here are more then

willing to help with almost anything.

Hope this helps a little.

>

> Hi Everyone,

> This weekend something happened and I'm not sure how to handle

it.

> This is going to be pretty long so I apologise in advance. has

> been obsessed with fire alarms for awhile. Every year during fire

> safety month he starts again. Well on Saturday got on You Tube

> and started playing a video of a fire alarm and then he did this.

He

> would hit play and then run very fast to the entry way of our house

> and touch s picture and say hi when the alarm started

he

> would say bye . He did this at least 9 times in a row. He

> hasn't done this before and I was watching him and it hit me. The

> day died it was the fire station that responded to the 911

and

> they had their coats and boots and everything on. The firemen

> carried his sister out and he never saw her again. The next year

at

> school (after fire safety week) he pulled the fire alarm 3 times.

> He was only 3 1/2 when this happened and had almost no language. I

> think he was trying to get the firemen to come and bring

back.

> On Saturday I asked where was and he looked very

> distressed and said firemen. We have tried several times over the

> years to explain that was in heaven with god and jesus and

we

> take him to the cemetary with us at least 2 times a year. Her

stone

> has her picture on it but to him its just another picture of

.

> I don't know what else to do with this. I don't want him to be

> afraid of the firemen or not to go with them if he needs to but in

> his then 3 year old mind it makes total sense that he would think

> this. How do I help him understand something as abstract as

heaven?

> We don't talk about much when or Paige are around. I

have

> experience being on their side of the fence. My mother lost 2

babies

> to sids before I was born and she never really learned to deal with

> it. She drank through my childhood and she would cry all the

time.

> In my little mind it was the babies fault and I hated them. I

don't

> want my kids to feel that way so I don't go there very often and I

> only let myself think of her on her birthday and when I am alone.

I

> only mentioned that so you know I'm not bringing her up to all

> the time. Has anyone had to explain the death of a loved one to

their

> autistic child and has anything worked? Sorry again this is long.

> Kellie

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Kellie,

I don't know if you have tried this or not, but have you thought of

telling your son that his sister is now an angel? That she is with God

now, because he needed her for other things and that she watches over

him all the time?

I have not had the same type of situation here, but we have lost

grandparents and that was tough on my son. He was about 3 at the time

and I had to explain something to him. That is what I do. He does say

to me many times that he doesn't want me to ever be an angel though. LOL

The other thing I would try is to call the fire dept. talk to one of

the firemen and ask them if they could come over to the house and have

a talk with your son. That might help him. You would have to know in

advance what they would plan on saying. It would bring the situation

to your house where it happened. They can tell him that they are super

hero's in a sense and that they were trying to help her but that God

wanted her more.

Not sure if this helps at all. It is a very difficult situation. You

don't want him to be afraid of firemen though. I bet that they could

come up with something really good for him.

I hope that helps.

Good luck,