Fire Alarms

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone,

This weekend something happened and I'm not sure how to handle it.

This is going to be pretty long so I apologise in advance. has

been obsessed with fire alarms for awhile. Every year during fire

safety month he starts again. Well on Saturday got on You Tube

and started playing a video of a fire alarm and then he did this. He

would hit play and then run very fast to the entry way of our house

and touch s picture and say hi when the alarm started he

would say bye . He did this at least 9 times in a row. He

hasn't done this before and I was watching him and it hit me. The

day died it was the fire station that responded to the 911 and

they had their coats and boots and everything on. The firemen

carried his sister out and he never saw her again. The next year at

school (after fire safety week) he pulled the fire alarm 3 times.

He was only 3 1/2 when this happened and had almost no language. I

think he was trying to get the firemen to come and bring back.

On Saturday I asked where was and he looked very

distressed and said firemen. We have tried several times over the

years to explain that was in heaven with god and jesus and we

take him to the cemetary with us at least 2 times a year. Her stone

has her picture on it but to him its just another picture of .

I don't know what else to do with this. I don't want him to be

afraid of the firemen or not to go with them if he needs to but in

his then 3 year old mind it makes total sense that he would think

this. How do I help him understand something as abstract as heaven?

We don't talk about much when or Paige are around. I have

experience being on their side of the fence. My mother lost 2 babies

to sids before I was born and she never really learned to deal with

it. She drank through my childhood and she would cry all the time.

In my little mind it was the babies fault and I hated them. I don't

want my kids to feel that way so I don't go there very often and I

only let myself think of her on her birthday and when I am alone. I

only mentioned that so you know I'm not bringing her up to all

the time. Has anyone had to explain the death of a loved one to their

autistic child and has anything worked? Sorry again this is long.

Kellie