Guest guest Posted December 12, 2008 Report Share Posted December 12, 2008 Has B been taught "hands quiet" or "hands down"? Karac is 16 and we haven't had that problem, but if we did I think I would handle it with a social story. Your son sounds like a nice kid. Pat K Hi AllThis is my first time posting although I have been a member for sometime. I do read messages though.Problem is B is experiencing difficulties. I should start by giving you some history. I am Tracey I am mum to J (6) who is neurotypical and B (8) who has high functioning autism and dyspraxia. I am married to J who is a great dad to both boys and husband of course :0)Today we get a phonecall from the head teacher of his school please could we attend a meeting TODAY so a meeting was set up for an hour later but it was the end of the day. I knew it was bad by the sound of her voice. And the story goes that B has been pinching girls bottoms and saying things like sex to them. Now I am not sure how bad he has been the school has a habit of making things seem worse than they are. But the head called B down and we all had a talk in the hall and B got upset and started crying. Anyway the meeting ended and he was sent into the waiting area to sort himself out and his dad went with him too. When his dad came back into the room he said he had been crying not because he was in trouble but because he thought he was being sent home and he would not be able to finish his job for his teacher. So now I am not sure what he understands from what he has been told not to do... I have a feeling that the appropiate affection he shows at home and the affection he shows at school there is some blurring in the boundaries as in what is ok at home and what is ok at school. So what I am asking is advice in how to deal with this as it is a big thing and it needs to be sorted now and not left for a few years until he is bigger older and able to be arrested or worse.Please help.Tracey Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and favorite sites in one place. Try it now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 Hi Tracey, Have you tried a social story about appropriate touching? I think it is good to cover both where it is o.k. to touch other people as well as where it is o.k. for other people to touch him. had some trouble with touching every ones chest and he would say NO chest right after doing it. It wasn't sexual since he did it to both men and women. He was just doing it for the response. A social story helped him understand that it wasn't o.k.. Kind of funny but he told a baby NO touching chest when her mother was holding her. He actually took the babies hand and put it in her lap and then said Thank You! Her mother was confused but I thought it was really funny. Hope this helps. Kellie Subject: Advice neededTo: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Friday, December 12, 2008, 7:46 PM Hi AllThis is my first time posting although I have been a member for sometime. I do read messages though.Problem is B is experiencing difficulties. I should start by giving you some history. I am Tracey I am mum to J (6) who is neurotypical and B (8) who has high functioning autism and dyspraxia. I am married to J who is a great dad to both boys and husband of course :0)Today we get a phonecall from the head teacher of his school please could we attend a meeting TODAY so a meeting was set up for an hour later but it was the end of the day. I knew it was bad by the sound of her voice. And the story goes that B has been pinching girls bottoms and saying things like sex to them. Now I am not sure how bad he has been the school has a habit of making things seem worse than they are. But the head called B down and we all had a talk in the hall and B got upset and started crying. Anyway the meeting ended and he was sent into the waiting area to sort himself out and his dad went with him too. When his dad came back into the room he said he had been crying not because he was in trouble but because he thought he was being sent home and he would not be able to finish his job for his teacher. So now I am not sure what he understands from what he has been told not to do... I have a feeling that the appropiate affection he shows at home and the affection he shows at school there is some blurring in the boundaries as in what is ok at home and what is ok at school. So what I am asking is advice in how to deal with this as it is a big thing and it needs to be sorted now and not left for a few years until he is bigger older and able to be arrested or worse.Please help.Tracey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 Tracey, let us know how the social story works; I have no doubt that it will; he sounds like a very bright boy. I love his quick response that a "nun" is a zeo". The way they think can be so interesting to me. One time Karac wanted his father to get up off the sofa and go with him, and he kept pulling on his Dad, but his Dad just sat there. Karac remembered that to get a horse to go you said, "Walk on"; so finally Karac told his dad to "walk on"; so we all laughed and his Dad got up and "walked on" with him. LOL, Pat K Hi Pat KHe has been taught to keep his hands and feet to himself or he was in earlier years they have gone back to using this technique. I wonder if boundaries maybe blurred from home and school with regards to kissing I mean it is ok to kiss me and dad but it isn't ok to kiss the girls in the playground. We use social stories a lot but hadn't thought of it so thank you I will give it a go.Thank you for your comments regarding my son he is lovely and very funny not in his ways but he is a funny person. And I do smile when he says some things for example I told him the other to take his hood down and I commented that he looked like a monk, B says what is a monk I said do you know what a nun is he said yes it is a zero. I thought yep you are right but I had to smile too.Thank you for the adviceTracey :0)>> Has B been taught "hands quiet" or "hands down"? Karac is 16 and we haven't > had that problem, but if we did I think I would handle it with a social > story. Your son sounds like a nice kid. Pat K> > > > > > > > Hi All> > This is my first time posting although I have been a member for > sometime. I do read messages though.> > Problem is B is experiencing difficulties. I should start by giving > you some history. > > I am Tracey I am mum to J (6) who is neurotypical and B (8) who has > high functioning autism and dyspraxia. I am married to J who is a > great dad to both boys and husband of course :0)> > Today we get a phonecall from the head teacher of his school please > could we attend a meeting TODAY so a meeting was set up for an hour > later but it was the end of the day. I knew it was bad by the sound > of her voice. > > And the story goes that B has been pinching girls bottoms and saying > things like sex to them. Now I am not sure how bad he has been the > school has a habit of making things seem worse than they are. But > the head called B down and we all had a talk in the hall and B got > upset and started crying. Anyway the meeting ended and he was sent > into the waiting area to sort himself out and his dad went with him > too. When his dad came back into the room he said he had been crying > not because he was in trouble but because he thought he was being > sent home and he would not be able to finish his job for his > teacher. So now I am not sure what he understands from what he has > been told not to do... > > I have a feeling that the appropiate affection he shows at home and > the affection he shows at school there is some blurring in the > boundaries as in what is ok at home and what is ok at school. > > So what I am asking is advice in how to deal with this as it is a > big thing and it needs to be sorted now and not left for a few years > until he is bigger older and able to be arrested or worse.> > Please help.> > Tracey > > > > > **************Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and > favorite sites in one place. Try it now. > (http://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp & icid=aolcom40vanity & ncid=emlcntaolcom00000010)> Messages in this topic (6) Reply (via web post) | Start a new topic MARKETPLACE From kitchen basics to easy recipes - join the Group from Kraft Foods .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 Hi Pat K He has been taught to keep his hands and feet to himself or he was in earlier years they have gone back to using this technique. I wonder if boundaries maybe blurred from home and school with regards to kissing I mean it is ok to kiss me and dad but it isn't ok to kiss the girls in the playground. We use social stories a lot but hadn't thought of it so thank you I will give it a go. Thank you for your comments regarding my son he is lovely and very funny not in his ways but he is a funny person. And I do smile when he says some things for example I told him the other to take his hood down and I commented that he looked like a monk, B says what is a monk I said do you know what a nun is he said yes it is a zero. I thought yep you are right but I had to smile too. Thank you for the advice Tracey :0) > > Has B been taught " hands quiet " or " hands down " ? Karac is 16 and we haven't > had that problem, but if we did I think I would handle it with a social > story. Your son sounds like a nice kid. Pat K > > > In a message dated 12/12/2008 1:46:39 P.M. Central Standard Time, > chocolatepills22@... writes: > > > > > Hi All > > This is my first time posting although I have been a member for > sometime. I do read messages though. > > Problem is B is experiencing difficulties. I should start by giving > you some history. > > I am Tracey I am mum to J (6) who is neurotypical and B (8) who has > high functioning autism and dyspraxia. I am married to J who is a > great dad to both boys and husband of course :0) > > Today we get a phonecall from the head teacher of his school please > could we attend a meeting TODAY so a meeting was set up for an hour > later but it was the end of the day. I knew it was bad by the sound > of her voice. > > And the story goes that B has been pinching girls bottoms and saying > things like sex to them. Now I am not sure how bad he has been the > school has a habit of making things seem worse than they are. But > the head called B down and we all had a talk in the hall and B got > upset and started crying. Anyway the meeting ended and he was sent > into the waiting area to sort himself out and his dad went with him > too. When his dad came back into the room he said he had been crying > not because he was in trouble but because he thought he was being > sent home and he would not be able to finish his job for his > teacher. So now I am not sure what he understands from what he has > been told not to do... > > I have a feeling that the appropiate affection he shows at home and > the affection he shows at school there is some blurring in the > boundaries as in what is ok at home and what is ok at school. > > So what I am asking is advice in how to deal with this as it is a > big thing and it needs to be sorted now and not left for a few years > until he is bigger older and able to be arrested or worse. > > Please help. > > Tracey > > > > > **************Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and > favorite sites in one place. Try it now. > (http://www.aol.com/?optin=new- dp & icid=aolcom40vanity & ncid=emlcntaolcom00000010) > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2008 Report Share Posted December 13, 2008 Hi Kellie Yes I am going to try and use a social story as it has been suggested by someone else too I don't know why I didn't think of it really. I don't know whether I wrote in my original post but the school do have a thing about making everything a huge drama even when the things are minimal this could be a normal thing an 8 year old boy would do I have spoken to friends about this and they remember either doing it or receiving bottom pinches but I understand that he needs to be taught sooner rather than later and before it becomes an obsession. Thank you Kellie people here have been very kind and nonjudgemental. Tracey :0) > > > Subject: Advice needed > To: AutismBehaviorProblems > Date: Friday, December 12, 2008, 7:46 PM > > > > > > > Hi All > > This is my first time posting although I have been a member for > sometime. I do read messages though. > > Problem is B is experiencing difficulties. I should start by giving > you some history. > > I am Tracey I am mum to J (6) who is neurotypical and B (8) who has > high functioning autism and dyspraxia. I am married to J who is a > great dad to both boys and husband of course :0) > > Today we get a phonecall from the head teacher of his school please > could we attend a meeting TODAY so a meeting was set up for an hour > later but it was the end of the day. I knew it was bad by the sound > of her voice. > > And the story goes that B has been pinching girls bottoms and saying > things like sex to them. Now I am not sure how bad he has been the > school has a habit of making things seem worse than they are. But > the head called B down and we all had a talk in the hall and B got > upset and started crying. Anyway the meeting ended and he was sent > into the waiting area to sort himself out and his dad went with him > too. When his dad came back into the room he said he had been crying > not because he was in trouble but because he thought he was being > sent home and he would not be able to finish his job for his > teacher. So now I am not sure what he understands from what he has > been told not to do... > > I have a feeling that the appropiate affection he shows at home and > the affection he shows at school there is some blurring in the > boundaries as in what is ok at home and what is ok at school. > > So what I am asking is advice in how to deal with this as it is a > big thing and it needs to be sorted now and not left for a few years > until he is bigger older and able to be arrested or worse. > > Please help. > > Tracey > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2008 Report Share Posted December 14, 2008 Tracey he sounds absolutely darling (num=zero...darling!). He will get this...my moneys on him and YOU!!!!! Blessings to you and yours. e To: AutismBehaviorProblems Sent: Saturday, December 13, 2008 12:34:03 PMSubject: Re: Advice needed Hi Pat KHe has been taught to keep his hands and feet to himself or he was in earlier years they have gone back to using this technique. I wonder if boundaries maybe blurred from home and school with regards to kissing I mean it is ok to kiss me and dad but it isn't ok to kiss the girls in the playground. We use social stories a lot but hadn't thought of it so thank you I will give it a go.Thank you for your comments regarding my son he is lovely and very funny not in his ways but he is a funny person. And I do smile when he says some things for example I told him the other to take his hood down and I commented that he looked like a monk, B says what is a monk I said do you know what a nun is he said yes it is a zero. I thought yep you are right but I had to smile too.Thank you for the adviceTracey :0)>> Has B been taught "hands quiet" or "hands down"? Karac is 16 and we haven't > had that problem, but if we did I think I would handle it with a social > story. Your son sounds like a nice kid. Pat K> > > In a message dated 12/12/2008 1:46:39 P.M. Central Standard Time, > chocolatepills22@ ... writes:> > > > > Hi All> > This is my first time posting although I have been a member for > sometime. I do read messages though.> > Problem is B is experiencing difficulties. I should start by giving > you some history. > > I am Tracey I am mum to J (6) who is neurotypical and B (8) who has > high functioning autism and dyspraxia. I am married to J who is a > great dad to both boys and husband of course :0)> > Today we get a phonecall from the head teacher of his school please > could we attend a meeting TODAY so a meeting was set up for an hour > later but it was the end of the day. I knew it was bad by the sound > of her voice. > > And the story goes that B has been pinching girls bottoms and saying > things like sex to them. Now I am not sure how bad he has been the > school has a habit of making things seem worse than they are. But > the head called B down and we all had a talk in the hall and B got > upset and started crying. Anyway the meeting ended and he was sent > into the waiting area to sort himself out and his dad went with him > too. When his dad came back into the room he said he had been crying > not because he was in trouble but because he thought he was being > sent home and he would not be able to finish his job for his > teacher. So now I am not sure what he understands from what he has > been told not to do... > > I have a feeling that the appropiate affection he shows at home and > the affection he shows at school there is some blurring in the > boundaries as in what is ok at home and what is ok at school. > > So what I am asking is advice in how to deal with this as it is a > big thing and it needs to be sorted now and not left for a few years > until he is bigger older and able to be arrested or worse.> > Please help.> > Tracey > > > > > ************ **Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and > favorite sites in one place. Try it now. > (http://www.aol. com/?optin= new-dp & icid=aolcom40van ity & ncid= emlcntaolcom0000 0010)> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 14, 2008 Report Share Posted December 14, 2008 What about using a circle program to demonstrate appropriate touches. It is a great visual and has helped alot of our kids "get" the boundaries issues necessary to be socially appropriate. B would be the center ( a small circle) and the next circle around him is close family and the one around that is extended family and the one around that one is friends and so on and so on ending with stranger...you can adapt this to suit his life. I like coloring the circles different colours and you can write names or put actual pictures in the corresponding circles and talk about how it is ok to hug those in this circle but not this one...you can shake hands with them instead.. You can use this for many variations from how to greet those different people in our lives to how we show them love. I know this is rambling but I have just spent the day chasing littles and making cookies and bed is calling me...hope this makes some sort of sense. mary Advice neededTo: AutismBehaviorProblems Date: Friday, December 12, 2008, 7:46 PM Hi AllThis is my first time posting although I have been a member for sometime. I do read messages though.Problem is B is experiencing difficulties. I should start by giving you some history. I am Tracey I am mum to J (6) who is neurotypical and B (8) who has high functioning autism and dyspraxia. I am married to J who is a great dad to both boys and husband of course :0)Today we get a phonecall from the head teacher of his school please could we attend a meeting TODAY so a meeting was set up for an hour later but it was the end of the day. I knew it was bad by the sound of her voice. And the story goes that B has been pinching girls bottoms and saying things like sex to them. Now I am not sure how bad he has been the school has a habit of making things seem worse than they are. But the head called B down and we all had a talk in the hall and B got upset and started crying. Anyway the meeting ended and he was sent into the waiting area to sort himself out and his dad went with him too. When his dad came back into the room he said he had been crying not because he was in trouble but because he thought he was being sent home and he would not be able to finish his job for his teacher. So now I am not sure what he understands from what he has been told not to do... I have a feeling that the appropiate affection he shows at home and the affection he shows at school there is some blurring in the boundaries as in what is ok at home and what is ok at school. So what I am asking is advice in how to deal with this as it is a big thing and it needs to be sorted now and not left for a few years until he is bigger older and able to be arrested or worse.Please help.Tracey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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