Re: Urgent help - dealing with physically aggressive 3 yr old

[Guest guest]

your company and a baby doll for her toddler son.

AutismBehaviorProblems , Ehrlich

wrote:

>

> Hi.

>

> I highly recommend a book called " A work in Progress " by Ron Leaf

and

> McEachin. It's behavior management strategies and a curriculum for

> intensive behavioral treatment of Autism. It's a really good

book. Go to

> <http://www.half.com> www.half.com to purchase the book for half

price.

>

>

>

> Begin forwarded message:

>

>

>

>

> Date: August 19, 2008 9:53:59 PM EDT

> To: AutismBehaviorProblems ,

> <mailto:AutismRecoveryWA >

AutismRecoveryWA

> Subject: Urgent help - dealing with physically

aggressive 3 yr

> old

> Reply-To: <mailto:AutismBehaviorProblems >

> AutismBehaviorProblems

>

>

>

>

>

> I am trying to help an acquaintance who is in a severe depressed,

despairing

> state.

>

>

>

> She has a newly diagnosed 3 yr old with Autism who is explosively

violent

> with her and the rest of the family, and also a baby girl in arms

that she

> carries around with her most of the time because she's afraid her

son will

> hurt baby (loving her too hard). She is a wreck, and I was HER five

years

> ago when my son was this age.

>

>

>

> I'm going to visit her on Thursday so she can vent/cry/scream, etc

whatever

> she needs.and I was hoping to take with me some practical tips or

ideas she

> could try with her son. No big programs or undertakings, she is

far too

> overwhelmed at the moment for that - but just some stuff parents on

these 2

> groups have tried that may give her a moment or two of peace.

>

> I know this is a general and vague request, but I'm looking for

your help

> with these tips, or links to some articles or websites that have

been

> helpful to you in learning practical ways to deal with aggression

and

> tantrums, etc. I would like to be able to give her some printed out

> materials but my focus is now so oriented on my 2nd grader that I

don't know

> what works better with a toddler like she has.and also with a

newborn.

>

>

>

> Any ideas you have to offer would be so great -

>

> Links are fine, I'll see what I can get together for her.

>

>

>

> Thanks -

>

> Dora

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ladies.....A work in progress is great, but really time consuming, and would take a lot of brain power for her at this point (I would think)....A work in progress deals with ABA.

Dora...Obviously the main concern right now is mommy --- you say she is depressed. Often times that mean total overload. She needs help. Depending on her financial state, is completely right, he needs some ABA. But more than that, she needs to feel better...is she on any kind of medication for her depression? Is she a runner, or does she exercises...I'm asking this only to say that when Mommy feels good --- we can still hurt and worry about our children --- but I'm talking depression here...we can still feel afraid and yet be able to think it through --- where can I go, what can we do....Check to see what she needs..........

Also Is grandma near by --- anybody that can give her respite while she researches and finds the help best for her child.

The first thing that comes to mind is ABA --- the second is that I'm wondering if he is jealous of baby...and without receptive language and or expressive language it will be very hard for him to act in any other way than explosively, as that is all he knows at present.

She needs to talk to her pediatrician.....I get your point about, "she's too overloaded." I get that, but his behavior is not going to get better on it 's own, and she needs to feel better too, so someone needs to help her figure some things out...

As you know, Dora....she will need to look into many things.

ABA

Floortime could help with the jealousy --- look up Stanley Greenspan's...again is she is too overwhelmed for this stuff (research, beginning to help him, etc, she needs some help, i.e perhaps an antidepressant)

The book the Explosive child might help her ... I have looked up some links for you and will include them below.

Local help...??? Local Autism Yahoo groups? A special needs school of some kind to give her a break.

It sounds like this is to "big" for her...she needs help..........other than helping her get organized as far as what to do next...if you can't do that or if she is unable, than obviously she just needs a shoulder to cry on and a safe person in which to vent..............again I'm worried more about her than the child......the child will get the help he needs only when Mommy is able to process.

Local, Local, Local....Here are the links I have found....

http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?id=420 & type=book & cn=3

http://parentingmethods.suite101.com/article.cfm/your_explosive_child__part_1

http://www.nldline.com/explosiv.htm

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Autism-1010/Violent-anxiety-reactions.htm

http://www.ellennotbohm.com/ten_things_article.html

Praying, praying for peace for this precious mommy --- I'm there, and I get it...as it is the beginning for us as well.

e

Also (any friends that can help her get respite while she processes how best to help him...as obviously it is going to take outside help)

Urgent help - dealing with physically aggressive 3 yr old

I am trying to help an acquaintance who is in a severe depressed, despairing state…

She has a newly diagnosed 3 yr old with Autism who is explosively violent with her and the rest of the family, and also a baby girl in arms that she carries around with her most of the time because she’s afraid her son will hurt baby (loving her too hard)… She is a wreck, and I was HER five years ago when my son was this age…

I’m going to visit her on Thursday so she can vent/cry/scream, etc whatever she needs…and I was hoping to take with me some practical tips or ideas she could try with her son. No big programs or undertakings, she is far too overwhelmed at the moment for that – but just some stuff parents on these 2 groups have tried that may give her a moment or two of peace…

I know this is a general and vague request, but I’m looking for your help with these tips, or links to some articles or websites that have been helpful to you in learning practical ways to deal with aggression and tantrums, etc. I would like to be able to give her some printed out materials but my focus is now so oriented on my 2nd grader that I don’t know what works better with a toddler like she has…and also with a newborn.

Any ideas you have to offer would be so great –

Links are fine, I’ll see what I can get together for her.

Thanks –

Dora

[Guest guest]

Dora (2 of 2 emails)....I thought of one more benign thing....Chicken soup for the Autistic Parent (I think that is the name)....it has helped me to have hope in our future which helps mommy begin to say, "OK, I can fall apart or I can make us stronger with help and understanding, and HOPE." This book will gently help her do that.............she will begin to feel hopeful....

You are a good friend.

e

Urgent help - dealing with physically aggressive 3 yr old

I am trying to help an acquaintance who is in a severe depressed, despairing state…

She has a newly diagnosed 3 yr old with Autism who is explosively violent with her and the rest of the family, and also a baby girl in arms that she carries around with her most of the time because she’s afraid her son will hurt baby (loving her too hard)… She is a wreck, and I was HER five years ago when my son was this age…

I’m going to visit her on Thursday so she can vent/cry/scream, etc whatever she needs…and I was hoping to take with me some practical tips or ideas she could try with her son. No big programs or undertakings, she is far too overwhelmed at the moment for that – but just some stuff parents on these 2 groups have tried that may give her a moment or two of peace…

I know this is a general and vague request, but I’m looking for your help with these tips, or links to some articles or websites that have been helpful to you in learning practical ways to deal with aggression and tantrums, etc. I would like to be able to give her some printed out materials but my focus is now so oriented on my 2nd grader that I don’t know what works better with a toddler like she has…and also with a newborn.

Any ideas you have to offer would be so great –

Links are fine, I’ll see what I can get together for her.

Thanks –

Dora