Re: Rough evening

September 4, 2008

Sorry you had such a rough evening. I know how much it just sucks the life out

of ya.

Ya know, I got sober a few years ago. I went through a lot of the same feelings

I am going through now -- fear, hopelessness (at times), anger, self pity -- you

name it, I got it. It was a rough adjustment period to say the least.

I was just sitting here thinking tonight, after reading the messages here, that

I am going to have to do what I did back then when I got sober. I'm going to

have to rely on the people that have been there before me to help me get through

it.

The work will have to be mine as far as learning all I can about OCD as I have

done with learning all I can about addiction, however these people here in this

group can help me to feel like I am not alone and also to give me hope that if

they can do it, so can I.

I may not know much about OCD right now, but I know how you are feeling. We can

learn how to do this together.

Kathy

gkathy40@...

http://www.myspace.com/clearingachannel

Courage is not living without fear.

Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway.

-Chae

Subject: Rough evening

To:

Date: Thursday, September 4, 2008, 7:30 PM

Hi, everyone! Well, I finally got my daughter to bed; tonight was

pretty rough! What I just don't get is this; she came home great

from school and was home for about 30 " with no mention of her " stuff "

whatsoever. She was my old again briefly. Then it was one

comment, then another, and by 5pm she was back in full OCD swing. It

waxed and waned, but stayed present all evening and around 8pm,

she " crashed " and just bawled and bawled. I'm trying not to feed the

thoughts by answering them, but still turning them back to her.

Well, she's getting mad and frustrated at me and just lost it! I just

went in her room and held her until she calmed down.

Then she went in the bathroom and got some toilet paper stuck to her

foot. She wanted me to pull it off and I asked why she couldn't do

it; she said " because of my OCD " . Right then and there, I backed off

and said " you need to do this; and she did.

If I do what she wants and constantly reassure her, it is just

feeding the cycle over and over and I get so tired of saying " you're

not going to die, get sick, " .... " isn't going to hurt you " , etc.

I'm kind of ticked at the doc we saw yesterday too; she said she was

going to call her GP and get him to write her the prescription and

she didn't. After this episode, I'm ready to try the medicine!

Debbie

September 4, 2008

Thanks, Kathy! We'll boost each other up!

Debbie

Guess I'd better go to bed - got to talk with the school tomorrow!

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September 4, 2008

Hi, Debbie. Just a thought, and maybe I way off, but wanted to throw

it out there to see what you might think . . . .

With our son, we only took on one situation at a time or else he would

have been overwhelmed. So, while he worked on one thing, we

accommodated the rest, until it came time to work on and confront it.

So what I was wondering is if she could be reacting to too much change

at once. For instance maybe go ahead and help her with something like

pulling the toilet paper off of her foot, but stand your ground on

something else. Maybe all the little things could be adding up to

more than she can take.

I found with our son too . . If he's ready to work on it and be

cooperative, it goes easy. But, if he isn't on board, he gets

frustrated and angry too.

He got to choose what to work on first, choosing the easiest thing,

because they gain confidence as they overcome things. He also chose

when to move on to something new.

Things can definitely get more stirred up when they are confronting it

too. Our son literally groaned out loud at times, trying to deal with

it. But, things should improve over time.

I also found there was no talking our son out of a thought that OCD

was telling him. They are so irrational when they are stuck, I

suppose because they are so convinced. We learned to blame the OCD

instead if trying to get him to see reason. He's older though (16),

and I think he gets it much better than when he was younger.

What does her therapist have to say about it all? Just curious.

It might be that she could need some meds to help with the anxiety, so

she can deal with the therapy. Our son did. It's different for

everybody.

Hang in there. I know it's tough. <sigh> Wretched stuff!

BJ

>

> Hi, everyone! Well, I finally got my daughter to bed; tonight was

> pretty rough! What I just don't get is this; she came home great

> from school and was home for about 30 " with no mention of her " stuff "

> whatsoever. She was my old again briefly. Then it was one

> comment, then another, and by 5pm she was back in full OCD swing. It

> waxed and waned, but stayed present all evening and around 8pm,

> she " crashed " and just bawled and bawled. I'm trying not to feed the

> thoughts by answering them, but still turning them back to her.

> Well, she's getting mad and frustrated at me and just lost it! I just

> went in her room and held her until she calmed down.

> Then she went in the bathroom and got some toilet paper stuck to her

> foot. She wanted me to pull it off and I asked why she couldn't do

> it; she said " because of my OCD " . Right then and there, I backed off

> and said " you need to do this; and she did.

> If I do what she wants and constantly reassure her, it is just

> feeding the cycle over and over and I get so tired of saying " you're

> not going to die, get sick, " .... " isn't going to hurt you " , etc.

> I'm kind of ticked at the doc we saw yesterday too; she said she was

> going to call her GP and get him to write her the prescription and

> she didn't. After this episode, I'm ready to try the medicine!

> Debbie

>

September 5, 2008

It's so true about having a good support group, especially those that are

recovery based. My dh is in NA, almost two years, and sometimes I envy his

support network. He always has someone there for him, no matter what, a big

group of someones actually. There is always someone who can talk to him and they

have been there with the same problems, and they have good solutions or they

just listen, even if it is not directly recovery related. And they expect you to

call them when you have trouble. I have lots of friends, but sometimes I don't

always want to call them when we are having OCD trouble or other troubles,

because many many of them don't understand. Or I feel like I'm bothering them.

I did make a friend who's daughter has ocd and we can tell each other anything

our kids say and do. I told one friend " oh, yeah, Ben's ocd is flaring up again,

and he said he wanted to poke himself with a pen " She was floored and didn't

know what to say except that he was probably " yanking my chain " . I forgot who I

was talking to. So, I told my other friend and she understood. But, a network

would be so nice. Not just one busy person, but a group. People that know all

about you and expect you to call them when you need them.

When he went into recovery, I started out going to Al-anon, but I didn't feel at

home there. I didn't know anything about his use, until he got clean and I felt

so different. I probably wasn't all that different, but I couldn't find anyone

else who had been in a similar situation there.

Same with OCD. Except here. This group has been great. Except, it sure would be

nice to meet for coffee when you're having a bad day instead of typing

everything and sending it into cyberspace.

Rough evening

To:

Date: Thursday, September 4, 2008, 7:30 PM

Hi, everyone! Well, I finally got my daughter to bed; tonight was

pretty rough! What I just don't get is this; she came home great

from school and was home for about 30 " with no mention of her " stuff "

whatsoever. She was my old again briefly. Then it was one

comment, then another, and by 5pm she was back in full OCD swing. It

waxed and waned, but stayed present all evening and around 8pm,

she " crashed " and just bawled and bawled. I'm trying not to feed the

thoughts by answering them, but still turning them back to her.

Well, she's getting mad and frustrated at me and just lost it! I just

went in her room and held her until she calmed down.

Then she went in the bathroom and got some toilet paper stuck to her

foot. She wanted me to pull it off and I asked why she couldn't do

it; she said " because of my OCD " . Right then and there, I backed off

and said " you need to do this; and she did.

If I do what she wants and constantly reassure her, it is just

feeding the cycle over and over and I get so tired of saying " you're

not going to die, get sick, " .... " isn't going to hurt you " , etc.

I'm kind of ticked at the doc we saw yesterday too; she said she was

going to call her GP and get him to write her the prescription and

she didn't. After this episode, I'm ready to try the medicine!

Debbie

September 5, 2008

Hi, BJ, you're right that it all bothers her, every little thing.

But what I see happening is she's letting the OCD control EVERYTHING

right now, and starting to use it as an excuse to get out of doing

anything at all.

So we try to keep life as normal as possible; she still has to do her

regular chores, but now may wear gloves if she wants, or just going

and washing her hands seems to work also. As far as the toilet

paper, I just felt that if I did every little thing for her, she'd

never leave my side!

We also found out at the school, she is missing some of almost every

class and going to the nurse; she didn't tell me this. So now I

wonder if she's using this as an excuse to get out of some more

boring aspects of her classes. That's what I don't want her to get

used to; the idea that she can " use " her OCD to get special

considerations.

I don't know this for sure, since I can't know what she's thinking,

and I may be way off; she really may be having so much anxiety, she

can't deal with it. Our doc is supposed to be working on getting us

some meds today; then we will go back to her and start the therapies.

I'm also working on the insurance company to see if they'll cover

this at a better deductible like you said.

Debbie

> >

> > Hi, everyone! Well, I finally got my daughter to bed; tonight

was

> > pretty rough! What I just don't get is this; she came home great

> > from school and was home for about 30 " with no mention of

her " stuff "

> > whatsoever. She was my old again briefly. Then it was

one

> > comment, then another, and by 5pm she was back in full OCD

swing. It

> > waxed and waned, but stayed present all evening and around 8pm,

> > she " crashed " and just bawled and bawled. I'm trying not to feed

the

> > thoughts by answering them, but still turning them back to her.

> > Well, she's getting mad and frustrated at me and just lost it! I

just

> > went in her room and held her until she calmed down.

> > Then she went in the bathroom and got some toilet paper stuck to

her

> > foot. She wanted me to pull it off and I asked why she couldn't

do

> > it; she said " because of my OCD " . Right then and there, I backed

off

> > and said " you need to do this; and she did.

> > If I do what she wants and constantly reassure her, it is just

> > feeding the cycle over and over and I get so tired of

saying " you're

> > not going to die, get sick, " .... " isn't going to hurt you " , etc.

> > I'm kind of ticked at the doc we saw yesterday too; she said she

was

> > going to call her GP and get him to write her the prescription

and

> > she didn't. After this episode, I'm ready to try the medicine!

> > Debbie

> >

>

September 5, 2008

> > >

> > > Hi, everyone! Well, I finally got my daughter to bed; tonight

> was

> > > pretty rough! What I just don't get is this; she came home great

> > > from school and was home for about 30 " with no mention of

> her " stuff "

> > > whatsoever. She was my old again briefly. Then it was

> one

> > > comment, then another, and by 5pm she was back in full OCD

> swing. It

> > > waxed and waned, but stayed present all evening and around 8pm,

> > > she " crashed " and just bawled and bawled. I'm trying not to feed

> the

> > > thoughts by answering them, but still turning them back to her.

> > > Well, she's getting mad and frustrated at me and just lost it! I

> just

> > > went in her room and held her until she calmed down.

> > > Then she went in the bathroom and got some toilet paper stuck to

> her

> > > foot. She wanted me to pull it off and I asked why she couldn't

> do

> > > it; she said " because of my OCD " . Right then and there, I backed

> off

> > > and said " you need to do this; and she did.

> > > If I do what she wants and constantly reassure her, it is just

> > > feeding the cycle over and over and I get so tired of

> saying " you're

> > > not going to die, get sick, " .... " isn't going to hurt you " , etc.

> > > I'm kind of ticked at the doc we saw yesterday too; she said she

> was

> > > going to call her GP and get him to write her the prescription

> and

> > > she didn't. After this episode, I'm ready to try the medicine!

> > > Debbie

> > >

> >

>

September 5, 2008

, i agree with you 100%. I'm sure some of us live in the same

areas, or maybe we could establish a phone list. Anyone who felt

comfortable could put their phone numbers in a file and if we needed

to talk with someone in person, we could. Or some of us could just

exchange #'s on our own. I'd be willing to do that if anyone else

wants to.

Now her doc just called me and said she thinks there's some

underlying thing going on, like maybe even Asperger's or a learning

disability of some kind. eeesh! One thing at a time right now,

please...

Debbie

>

> It's so true about having a good support group, especially those

that are recovery based. My dh is in NA, almost two years, and

sometimes I envy his support network. He always has someone there for

him, no matter what, a big group of someones actually. There is

always someone who can talk to him and they have been there with the

same problems, and they have good solutions or they just listen, even

if it is not directly recovery related. And they expect you to call

them when you have trouble. I have lots of friends, but sometimes I

don't always want to call them when we are having OCD trouble or

other troubles, because many many of them don't understand. Or I feel

like I'm bothering them. I did make a friend who's daughter has ocd

and we can tell each other anything our kids say and do. I told one

friend " oh, yeah, Ben's ocd is flaring up again, and he said he

wanted to poke himself with a pen " She was floored and didn't know

what to say except that he was probably " yanking my chain " . I forgot

who I was talking to. So, I told my other friend and she understood.

But, a network would be so nice. Not just one busy person, but a

group. People that know all about you and expect you to call them

when you need them.

>

> When he went into recovery, I started out going to Al-anon, but I

didn't feel at home there. I didn't know anything about his use,

until he got clean and I felt so different. I probably wasn't all

that different, but I couldn't find anyone else who had been in a

similar situation there.

>

> Same with OCD. Except here. This group has been great. Except, it

sure would be nice to meet for coffee when you're having a bad day

instead of typing everything and sending it into cyberspace.

>

September 5, 2008

Hi,

In our case too, things got better both with age and with simply time.

I agree with the comments that the things are dealt with better

when the child is willing or ready to deal with that thing.

I just also wanted to say, that even in my " normal " moments,

some times a little thing can send me over the edge,

and other times I can deal with it better. SOOOO many things

go into the picture- how much sleep I have had, if I have eaten,

how many other things there were to deal with... I know it is

hard to not lump everything into OCD. Daily life itself has stress

before the OCD stuff!

A reminder to you- be sure YOU get enough sleep, eat,

excercise, all that good stuff, so that YOUR coping skills

have a good chance to work!

Marcia

>

> Subject: Re: Rough evening

> To:

> Date: Friday, September 5, 2008, 11:23 AM

>

> > > >

> > > > Hi, everyone! Well, I finally got my

> daughter to bed; tonight

> > was

> > > > pretty rough! What I just don't get is

> this; she came home great

> > > > from school and was home for about 30 "

> with no mention of

> > her " stuff "

> > > > whatsoever. She was my old again

> briefly. Then it was

> > one

> > > > comment, then another, and by 5pm she was

> back in full OCD

> > swing. It

> > > > waxed and waned, but stayed present all

> evening and around 8pm,

> > > > she " crashed " and just bawled and

> bawled. I'm trying not to feed

> > the

> > > > thoughts by answering them, but still

> turning them back to her.

> > > > Well, she's getting mad and frustrated

> at me and just lost it! I

> > just

> > > > went in her room and held her until she

> calmed down.

> > > > Then she went in the bathroom and got some

> toilet paper stuck to

> > her

> > > > foot. She wanted me to pull it off and I

> asked why she couldn't

> > do

> > > > it; she said " because of my OCD " .

> Right then and there, I backed

> > off

> > > > and said " you need to do this; and she

> did.

> > > > If I do what she wants and constantly

> reassure her, it is just

> > > > feeding the cycle over and over and I get so

> tired of

> > saying " you're

> > > > not going to die, get sick, " .... "

> isn't going to hurt you " , etc.

> > > > I'm kind of ticked at the doc we saw

> yesterday too; she said she

> > was

> > > > going to call her GP and get him to write

> her the prescription

> > and

> > > > she didn't. After this episode, I'm

> ready to try the medicine!

> > > > Debbie

> > > >

> > >

> >

September 5, 2008

It's a fine line trying to discipline a child with OCD, that's for

sure. Our son, now 16, has been known to use it on occasion when he's

being reprimanded for something. It can be tricky.. . AND frustrating!

It's always hard to know the right thing to do. If you get on their

case, it really can stir up anxiety, but are you to never discipline

them then?! Been there.

If you think they are just using the OCD, then find they aren't. . You

get to feel like a heel. Of course there's not real way to prove it

either. <sigh>

You get all the typical kid's games, with OCD thrown in. It's a

really tough one. I totally get where you are coming from.

There's nothing easy about being a parent, huh. Throw OCD in, and it

gets ever more complicated.

It's gotten worse since he's become a teenager too. Oh, the new

things they can come up with. . . lol

Here's to hoping we all survive it.

I hope things settle down for you soon. )

BJ

> > >

> > > Hi, everyone! Well, I finally got my daughter to bed; tonight

> was

> > > pretty rough! What I just don't get is this; she came home great

> > > from school and was home for about 30 " with no mention of

> her " stuff "

> > > whatsoever. She was my old again briefly. Then it was

> one

> > > comment, then another, and by 5pm she was back in full OCD

> swing. It

> > > waxed and waned, but stayed present all evening and around 8pm,

> > > she " crashed " and just bawled and bawled. I'm trying not to feed

> the

> > > thoughts by answering them, but still turning them back to her.

> > > Well, she's getting mad and frustrated at me and just lost it! I

> just

> > > went in her room and held her until she calmed down.

> > > Then she went in the bathroom and got some toilet paper stuck to

> her

> > > foot. She wanted me to pull it off and I asked why she couldn't

> do

> > > it; she said " because of my OCD " . Right then and there, I backed

> off

> > > and said " you need to do this; and she did.

> > > If I do what she wants and constantly reassure her, it is just

> > > feeding the cycle over and over and I get so tired of

> saying " you're

> > > not going to die, get sick, " .... " isn't going to hurt you " , etc.

> > > I'm kind of ticked at the doc we saw yesterday too; she said she

> was

> > > going to call her GP and get him to write her the prescription

> and

> > > she didn't. After this episode, I'm ready to try the medicine!

> > > Debbie

> > >

> >

>

September 5, 2008

I could cry right now...I am relating so much to what you have to say

here. Your email described many a night this summer. My dh was

traveling for work for 5 weeks (home on weekends) but Iwent through

this everynight with my ds. Whoever says it sucks the life out of you

was right!

We are now going through a much better phase right now. But I still

feel so tangled up inside over these episodes.

I just wanted to say you are not alone. I know it helps me so much to

read all your stories--to know it is not just my family going through

this..

September 5, 2008

I have a question for anyone whose child is on Zoloft.....we got a prescription

for my daughter, the lowest dose to start with. It says to start in the

morning, but does anyone's child take it at night? Is it supposed to be in the

morning, so the better effects are during the daytime?

Also, what are the most common side effects? What to watch for specifically?

Thanks!

Debbie

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September 5, 2008

(((HUGS))) & :0) to everyone.

Re: Rough evening

I could cry right now...I am relating so much to what you have to say

here. Your email described many a night this summer. My dh was

traveling for work for 5 weeks (home on weekends) but Iwent through

this everynight with my ds. Whoever says it sucks the life out of you

was right!

We are now going through a much better phase right now. But I still

feel so tangled up inside over these episodes.

I just wanted to say you are not alone. I know it helps me so much to

read all your stories--to know it is not just my family going through

this..

September 5, 2008

Hi.

My DD has been on Zoloft and her pdoc instructed us to give it to her in the

morning.

I think it's because it might give her trouble sleeping if she were to take it

at night.

Jen

Re: Re: Rough evening

I have a question for anyone whose child is on Zoloft.....we got a

prescription for my daughter, the lowest dose to start with. It says to start in

the morning, but does anyone's child take it at night? Is it supposed to be in

the morning, so the better effects are during the daytime?

Also, what are the most common side effects? What to watch for specifically?

Thanks!

Debbie

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September 5, 2008

Forgot to finish~sorry.

During the first dose which started at 12.5 mg for a week my DD was fine.

However, when we raised it to 25mg she started having sleepiness, nausea and

dizziness.

We called her pdoc and they suggested that we pull her back down to 12.5 mg and

keep her there for two more weeks and then raise it back up to the 25mg.

When we did that she was fine and had no side effects. It probably happened

because my DD's system wasn't ready to move up and we just had to wait a little

longer.

Hope this helps.

Jen

Re: Re: Rough evening

I have a question for anyone whose child is on Zoloft.....we got a

prescription for my daughter, the lowest dose to start with. It says to start in

the morning, but does anyone's child take it at night? Is it supposed to be in

the morning, so the better effects are during the daytime?

Also, what are the most common side effects? What to watch for specifically?

Thanks!

Debbie

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September 5, 2008

Hi, Debbie. Our son take Celexa, and it can cause insomnia. He takes

it in the morning because of that, which seems to help a bit. He also

take Melatonin at night. You might want to check to see if Zoloft has

the same side effect.

BJ

>

> I have a question for anyone whose child is on Zoloft.....we got a

prescription for my daughter, the lowest dose to start with. It says

to start in the morning, but does anyone's child take it at night? Is

it supposed to be in the morning, so the better effects are during the

daytime?

> Also, what are the most common side effects? What to watch for

specifically?

> Thanks!

> Debbie

>

> ____________________________________________________________

> Wanna lose weight? Weight Loss Programs that work. Click here.

>

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>

September 5, 2008

Jen, my DD's psychologist, along with the pdoc, suggested starting her on 25 mg

right off. My daughter is 14 and weighs about 128 pounds. Is your daughter

younger and/or lighter than that?

Debbie

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September 5, 2008

Hi Debbie,

My 8 year old daughter is on Zoloft. Started on 12.5 mg for 2 weeks, went up to

25 mg. for approx. 4 weeks and has been on 37.5 mg for about 2 weeks now. We

have an appt with the ped neuro next week so we'll see what they say. I give it

in the a.m.. It can be taken either in the morning or night, some may feel a bit

speedy or racy from it, hence a good idea to take in the morn, while others may

feel a bit sleepy or sedated from Zoloft, in which case, taking at bedtime would

be a wiser choice. You'll just have to play it by ear. It doesn't matter which

time she takes it in reference to " better effects " . As you know, it can take up

to several weeks for it to work...it doesn't have any immediate benefit, as in

the case, let's say of a tranquilizer or even Tylenol or Motrin. There are loads

of possible side effects with all the SSRI's, any medication in fact, and

thankfully for us, my daughter has been tolerating the Zoloft without any

adverse effect at all.

However, from working as a psych RN for many years, I can tell you that the

most frequent side effect that I witnessed was stomach distress for the first

few days which usually self resolved. Become familiar with the side effects

.....you can get great written info from your pharmacist and can, of course,

Google Zoloft. Best of luck with the med!!

W.

Re: Re: Rough evening

I have a question for anyone whose child is on Zoloft.....we got a prescription

for my daughter, the lowest dose to start with. It says to start in the morning,

but does anyone's child take it at night? Is it supposed to be in the morning,

so the better effects are during the daytime?

Also, what are the most common side effects? What to watch for specifically?

Thanks!

Debbie

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September 5, 2008

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Subject: Re: Re: Rough evening

To:

Date: Friday, September 5, 2008, 5:37 PM

Hi Debbie,

My 8 year old daughter is on Zoloft. Started on 12.5 mg for 2 weeks, went up to

25 mg. for approx. 4 weeks and has been on 37.5 mg for about 2 weeks now. We

have an appt with the ped neuro next week so we'll see what they say.. I give it