Re: Re: New and Confused

[Guest guest]

Don't be so hard on yourself. My daughter went through episodes similar, though

not as drastic, at ages 4, 5, and 6. They were all at the beginning of the

school year. Each time, JUST as we were about to contact a doctor, she would

" snap out of it " . Literally, she'd wake up one morning and be good as new. So

3 times, we didn't " push " it for fear of triggering her " quirkiness " again. This

time, her emotional distress and anxiety were just too much to ignore, and we

decided we weren't letting it go again. Even if she " snaps out of it again " , at

least now we know what we're dealing with and she does too.

It also sounds like you've been trying to manage without medication, which I

want to try to do, too. But I can't decide whether to put her on the medicine

to help with the immediate problems and THEN try other methods or try the other

methods first. She's always been seen as " odd " anyway among her peers (and now

we know why!), if the medication could help that aspect, then we may just try it

for her sake.

Debbie

____________________________________________________________

Home prices too high? Click here for interest only loans to buy the home of

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[Guest guest]

, you are right about the depression! How I wished I'd followed my

instincts and not " left well enough alone " ! My daughter's so sad all the time

since this started; she knows what she's doing is irrational and doesn't

understand it, it's really heartbreaking to see.

I have a question for everyone, especially anyone with a child diagnosed in

their teen years. How do we address this with her friends? We live in a small

rural community, everyone knows everyone else's business, etc. The little group

of girls she's grown up with generally accept her, and have come to accept that

she's just a " little odd " . But they all also know something is currently going

on that's more than just her usual

Should we (or she) tell them what's going on so they'll have some insight?

Should we tell their parents (we know them all pretty well). Or should we tell

just one set of parents and one friend, so at least someone in her peer group

might understand? This is the part I'm struggling with; I don't want her

labelled as crazy, nor do I want rumors to be spread around the school about

her.

Debbie

____________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

We, too, live is a small rural community where everyone knows everybody AND

where my husband and I were raised.  I don't want my son to be labeled as well. 

Nor due I want him to be ostracized. Children can be so cruel.  My son is

already upset about his " weight " and body image, due to remarks from other boys.

And often when frustrated, states how " nobody likes me, everybody hates me. "

Heis very independent and I have supported that about him, but I hope this

independence and willing to do things by himself is not a sign of depression. 

Sherri

Subject: Re: Re: New and Confused

To:

Date: Thursday, September 4, 2008, 10:27 AM

, you are right about the depression! How I wished I'd followed my

instincts and not " left well enough alone " ! My daughter's so sad all the time

since this started; she knows what she's doing is irrational and doesn't

understand it, it's really heartbreaking to see.

I have a question for everyone, especially anyone with a child diagnosed in

their teen years. How do we address this with her friends? We live in a small

rural community, everyone knows everyone else's business, etc. The little group

of girls she's grown up with generally accept her, and have come to accept that

she's just a " little odd " . But they all also know something is currently going

on that's more than just her usual

Should we (or she) tell them what's going on so they'll have some insight?

Should we tell their parents (we know them all pretty well). Or should we tell

just one set of parents and one friend, so at least someone in her peer group

might understand? This is the part I'm struggling with; I don't want her

labelled as crazy, nor do I want rumors to be spread around the school about

her.

Debbie

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

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[Guest guest]

From our experience so far in our town, Sherri, I feel the boys are much more

likely to be " mean " than the girls. My son already talks about this one kid in

his grade (6th) that who thinks he is " all that " and how the other kids fawn

over him. This absolutely disgusts my son, who asks, " why do they think he's so

special?! " How can we explain there will always be the " popular " kids, the

" wallflowers " , the " geeks " , etc. I for one, hope your son stays

independent and doesn't follow the crowd; I just encourage our kids to talk

about what's going on, but I emphasize that I can't " fix " it for them; they have

to navigate their world as they see fit.

Debbie

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[Guest guest]

, that's almost exactly what I told my daughter to say! If anyone

pushes her to say what's going on, all she needs to say is " I've just got

something going on that causes me to worry too much " and leave it at that. Last

night, she said she wasn't going to say anything yet until she could understand

it better herself.

Debbie

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[Guest guest]

Hi .

My dd has been diagnosed for about five months. About a month ago my dd decided

to tell her mem and pep that she has OCD. She knew what to say and did a

fantastic job. It was her decision and in many ways her telling them seemed to

take off some of the pressure that we all had been under. We weren't keeping

" secrets " anymore and that can be very freeing.

I told my Dad about two months ago and felt better for it. Just today I told my

dd's aunt and uncle. Confiding in people certainly has taken us time and we

don't tell everyone. Just the people that care about us and our dd the most.

Close friends and family, including this group, can be very supportive.

Just do it when you and your dd are comfortable and only when you are ready.

:0)

Jen

Re: New and Confused

My daughter and I have been juggling the topic of 'who to tell what

to' as well. For me, it was a HUGE relief to tell some close frinds

who are not in this area and one that is in this area, just so that I

have someone to talk to.

For my daughter, we have decided (at this point, anyway) that we will

talk about her OCD in terms of 'Worries'. This was pretty much

's call - I want her to feel a part of the decision as she will

be living with the results. Describibg her as having some worries

that she is addressing helps explain some things (such as why she has

to miss an hour of school each week for a doctor appointment), and at

the same time, everybody has worries of one kind or another at some

point, so it's not really ostrasizing.

Not only do I have some concerns about the response she may get from

some people now if we tell them she has OCD, I worry that the label

may follow her, and hurt her progress as she battles this. I'm new

to this, though, so I may not be giving the best advice. It's

working for us at the moment.

[Guest guest]

The only therapy that has been shown to be helpful for OCD is Cognitive Behavior

therapy.  

Re: New and Confused

Thank you for the information. I was just about to buy one of those

books you mentioned. I am also interested to know what kind of

medical help are parents using? Traditional therapy, pediatricians,

alternative therapies, behavioral therapy etc.

>

> Welcome to the group. I have found it to be very supportive, and a

> lifeline at times.

>

> I have a 9 year old daughter with OCD. I'm finding that the age

> compounds the depression thing (ie it's hard enough to just be a 9

> year old, let alone a 9 year old with OCD!). There is so much worry

> over fitting in, and being 'normal'!

>

> I was not thrilled with the idea of medication either, but once we

> fully addressed the issue of OCD, it seemed to get much worse. In

> hindsight, I believe my daughter finally felt like she could give

> herself permission to exhibit the OCD, since we were talking about

it

> and taking the action of seeing some doctors. We did end up with

> Luvox, and it has been a tremendous help t

o my daughter and to the

> family.

>

> I have been reading a lot on the subject (there are many great

books

> recommended in these posts, including Freeing You Child from OCD

and

> Talking Back to OCD). My daughter and I have been discussing the

> idea of 'bullying the bully', and she is making great progress! I

> feel confident that she will someday get to the point where she can

> get off the medicine.

>

> I do think that there was/is an element of depression that came

with

> it. Just being so constantly frustrated with your own brain has

got

> to be depressing. My daughter also thought (before we addressed

> this) that she was the only one in the world with this issue, and

> that she was somehow being punished. What a weight was lifted when

> we read some of the information on this website together!

>

> It's a hard decision to make, but please know that whichever one

you

> decide (medication or no medication) you're doing what is best for

> your daughter - you are addressing the issue, learning about it,

and

> getting her the help she needs.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi .

The weekends seem to be hard for my DD as well. I guess that her mind and body

aren't as active as they are when she's at school. When my DD gets frustrated

with OCD it builds up and I'd say that about every four weeks we have a tantrum.

Let's face it. We as adults are trying to get a handle on OCD, I can only

imagine how our children can understand without feeling overwhelmed at times.

Just try to determine if the tantrums are OCD related or if they are behavioral.

Kind of a fine line. We started therapy thinking that we were against med's and

the first few months she was on nothing. However, OCD reached a 10 on a scale

of 1 to 10 so we had to accept that she was suffering and that we would try the

meds.

I feel that they have helped somewhat. Along with therapy, CBT and ERP we get

by, but I wish we could reach a higher rate of success.

Hope this helps.

Jen

Re: New and Confused

>

>

> It is such a relief to read all of your posts because my

daughter,

> like yours, has seemed to kind of " snapped out of it " but hers

has

> happened now that school has started! We attribute it to the fact

> that now her mind is occupied and in a daily routine at school.

> However, it is somewhat apparent on the weekends but it is

definitely

> minor as compared to this past summer when it all seemed to

explode.

> We have received a dx from the psychiatrist of OCD but have yet

to

> see the therapist. Our appt. is on Sept. 25th-a long 6 weeks from

the

> time of dx and we have also fought to keep her off meds. We are

open

> to it just in case but we want to see how CBT and ERP works

first,

> especially since her symptoms have subsided a bit...for now. We

will

> keep our fingers crossed!

>

> As always, you are all in our thoughts and we are sending

positive

> energy your way!

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Don't be so hard on yourself. My daughter went through episodes

> similar, though not as drastic, at ages 4, 5, and 6. They were

all

> at the beginning of the school year. Each time, JUST as we were

> about to contact a doctor, she would " snap out of it " . Literally,

> she'd wake up one morning and be good as new. So 3 times, we

> didn't " push " it for fear of triggering her " quirkiness " again.

This

> time, her emotional distress and anxiety were just too much to

> ignore, and we decided we weren't letting it go again. Even if

> she " snaps out of it again " , at least now we know what we're

dealing

> with and she does too.

> > It also sounds like you've been trying to manage without

> medication, which I want to try to do, too. But I can't decide

> whether to put her on the medicine to help with the immediate

> problems and THEN try other methods or try the other methods

first.

> She's always been seen as " odd " anyway among her peers (and now

we

> know why!), if the medication could help that aspect, then we may

> just try it for her sake.

> > Debbie

> >

> > __________________________________________________________

> > Home prices too high? Click here for interest only loans to buy

> the home of your dreams.

> >

>

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J>

> quDL0FsuTc1CxHHEIKr4AvqdDdEF1e5/

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Has anyone read anything about hormones having an effect on OCD?

 

I remember the very first night something was wrong with Joei. We were driving

and she looked at me and said I feel wierd, and just started bawling.  This went

on for a couple of days. She was very emotional.  At that time, I racked it up

to she must be getting ready to start her period.

~~Kathy

 

gkathy40@...

http://www.myspace.com/clearingachannel

yahoo messenger id  gkathy40@...

Courage is not living without fear.

Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway.

-Chae

Subject: Re: New and Confused

To:

Date: Monday, September 8, 2008, 7:27 AM

Hi Jen-

Yes, that helps so much. Our daughters seem pretty similar and

although my daughter's OCD seems moderate(for now), I know at any

moment it can become more severe. It was a little worse over the

summer and she is 10 so I worry about hormones having an effect also.

My husband and I want to continue to be diligent about getting her

help in very way possible NOW.

What you said about OCD and discipline is right on the money and I

feel OCD makes discipline more difficult because she already feels

upset, angry, confused, etc. because of it. (sigh) Thanks so much for

your insight. I'm glad I found you here and PLEASE keep me posted on

your DD. May they both have many UP days to come! :0):0)

Take care-

> > >

> > > Don't be so hard on yourself. My daughter went through

episodes

> > similar, though not as drastic, at ages 4, 5, and 6. They were

> all

> > at the beginning of the school year. Each time, JUST as we were

> > about to contact a doctor, she would " snap out of it " .

Literally,

> > she'd wake up one morning and be good as new. So 3 times, we

> > didn't " push " it for fear of triggering her " quirkiness " again.

> This

> > time, her emotional distress and anxiety were just too much to

> > ignore, and we decided we weren't letting it go again. Even if

> > she " snaps out of it again " , at least now we know what we're

> dealing

> > with and she does too.

> > > It also sounds like you've been trying to manage without

> > medication, which I want to try to do, too. But I can't decide

> > whether to put her on the medicine to help with the immediate

> > problems and THEN try other methods or try the other methods

> first.

> > She's always been seen as " odd " anyway among her peers (and now

> we

> > know why!), if the medication could help that aspect, then we

may

> > just try it for her sake.

> > > Debbie

> > >

> > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> > > Home prices too high? Click here for interest only loans to

buy

> > the home of your dreams.

> > >

> >

>

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>

> J>

> > quDL0FsuTc1CxHHEIKr 4AvqdDdEF1e5/

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathy.

I haven't read anything regarding hormones having an effect. We even asked a

pdoc that was standing in for her usual pdoc who was on vacation. This pdoc (a

women) stated that no, hormones don't play into it because our bodies are made

to adjust for such changes. I, however, disagree.

The two times that my DD had her period, a few days before each period her OCD

was at a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10. This happened both times that she has gotten

her period. Unfortunately my DD is new to getting her period and we aren't sure

when it's going to strike, lol.

Anyway, that is our experience.

Jen

Re: New and Confused

To: <mailto: >

Date: Monday, September 8, 2008, 7:27 AM

Hi Jen-

Yes, that helps so much. Our daughters seem pretty similar and

although my daughter's OCD seems moderate(for now), I know at any

moment it can become more severe. It was a little worse over the

summer and she is 10 so I worry about hormones having an effect also.

My husband and I want to continue to be diligent about getting her

help in very way possible NOW.

What you said about OCD and discipline is right on the money and I

feel OCD makes discipline more difficult because she already feels

upset, angry, confused, etc. because of it. (sigh) Thanks so much for

your insight. I'm glad I found you here and PLEASE keep me posted on

your DD. May they both have many UP days to come! :0):0)

Take care-

> > >

> > > Don't be so hard on yourself. My daughter went through

episodes

> > similar, though not as drastic, at ages 4, 5, and 6. They were

> all

> > at the beginning of the school year. Each time, JUST as we were

> > about to contact a doctor, she would " snap out of it " .

Literally,

> > she'd wake up one morning and be good as new. So 3 times, we

> > didn't " push " it for fear of triggering her " quirkiness " again.

> This

> > time, her emotional distress and anxiety were just too much to

> > ignore, and we decided we weren't letting it go again. Even if

> > she " snaps out of it again " , at least now we know what we're

> dealing

> > with and she does too.

> > > It also sounds like you've been trying to manage without

> > medication, which I want to try to do, too. But I can't decide

> > whether to put her on the medicine to help with the immediate

> > problems and THEN try other methods or try the other methods

> first.

> > She's always been seen as " odd " anyway among her peers (and now

> we

> > know why!), if the medication could help that aspect, then we

may

> > just try it for her sake.

> > > Debbie

> > >

> > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> > > Home prices too high? Click here for interest only loans to

buy

> > the home of your dreams.

> > >

> >

>

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>

> J>

> > quDL0FsuTc1CxHHEIKr 4AvqdDdEF1e5/

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Oy vey!

~~Kathy

 

gkathy40@...

http://www.myspace.com/clearingachannel

yahoo messenger id  gkathy40@...

Courage is not living without fear.

Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway.

-Chae

From: beccas107 <gotcarpet@sbcglobal .net<mailto:gotcarpet@sbcglobal .net>>

Subject: Re: New and Confused

To: @ yahoogroups. com<mailto:@ yahoogroups. com>

Date: Monday, September 8, 2008, 7:27 AM

Hi Jen-

Yes, that helps so much. Our daughters seem pretty similar and

although my daughter's OCD seems moderate(for now), I know at any

moment it can become more severe. It was a little worse over the

summer and she is 10 so I worry about hormones having an effect also.

My husband and I want to continue to be diligent about getting her

help in very way possible NOW.

What you said about OCD and discipline is right on the money and I

feel OCD makes discipline more difficult because she already feels

upset, angry, confused, etc. because of it. (sigh) Thanks so much for

your insight. I'm glad I found you here and PLEASE keep me posted on

your DD. May they both have many UP days to come! :0):0)

Take care-

> > >

> > > Don't be so hard on yourself. My daughter went through

episodes

> > similar, though not as drastic, at ages 4, 5, and 6. They were

> all

> > at the beginning of the school year. Each time, JUST as we were

> > about to contact a doctor, she would " snap out of it " .

Literally,

> > she'd wake up one morning and be good as new. So 3 times, we

> > didn't " push " it for fear of triggering her " quirkiness " again.

> This

> > time, her emotional distress and anxiety were just too much to

> > ignore, and we decided we weren't letting it go again. Even if

> > she " snaps out of it again " , at least now we know what we're

> dealing

> > with and she does too.

> > > It also sounds like you've been trying to manage without

> > medication, which I want to try to do, too. But I can't decide

> > whether to put her on the medicine to help with the immediate

> > problems and THEN try other methods or try the other methods

> first.

> > She's always been seen as " odd " anyway among her peers (and now

> we

> > know why!), if the medication could help that aspect, then we

may

> > just try it for her sake.

> > > Debbie

> > >

> > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

> > > Home prices too high? Click here for interest only loans to

buy

> > the home of your dreams.

> > >

> >

>

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J>

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>

> J>

> > quDL0FsuTc1CxHHEIKr 4AvqdDdEF1e5/

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Kathy, I believe wholeheartedly that hormones are playing a major role in my

daughter's OCD rearing it's ugly head! In the last 3 weeks, she has cried

countless times (before we knew about the OCD, she would say she just felt like

crying all the time!), flew off the handle, stomped around, and been somewhat

unpleasant to be around. She's also dropped about 10 pounds, grown (she's

almost eye to eye with me at 5'5 " ), and today started her period again (had it

since she was 11). She's 14; wowza, what a year this is going to be!

Debbie

____________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Raging and tantrumming are not signs of OCD.  They may happen due to OCD if

your child is in the middle of an OCD ritual and you stop her from doing it and

she is then terribly upset that something bad will happen as a result.  She may

be furious that you caused her to feel so anxious by blocking her from

performing her ritual.  On the other hand, raging and tantrumming may also be

due to many other reasons and may have nothing at all to do with OCD.  My

daughter has never thrown tantrums and certainly hasn't raged at me, except when

I have tried to make her go somewhere that she has major, major OCD fears about,

and this reaction is the exception, not the norm for her.  The only other time

she may get mad at me is if i try to get her to eat when she is frightened of

the food (which is often when she isn't on an OCD med).  I'm sorry that you are

going through this.  I hope that the therapist you will be seeing will be able

to help you and her with this.

Re: New and Confused

---Hi Jen-

I just saw your post. There have been so many on the board and I fell

way behind. I hope you daughter is still doing well. Congratulations

on your UP day!!! We have to hold those blessed days

close I hope

your DD is feeling empowered and strong against her OCD. It sounds

like she did sooo well the other day.

Unfortunately for my DD, the weekends seem to be so hard. This one

was really up and down for her. Sometimes the anger and tantrums are

really hard to deal with and we don't have our 1st therapy appt.

until the 25th of this month. We are trying to read Talking back to

OCD by March in the meantime. I guess, from what I am reading

raging and tantrums are normal???? They scare me, though. I'm not

sure sometimes how to handle them and she feels so bad later. Does

your daughter get those? It varies from day to day. The psychiatrist

wants to put her on Zoloft and on tantrum days I do too, but I would

like to try therapy first. How long has your DD be diagnosed with

this?

Peace & love-

In , " Lemay "

wrote:

>

> Hi .

>

> So happy to hear that your dd is doing better! :0) It's funny

because my dd just started school and her ocd has been at a very low

level. It's definitely due to her being back in school. Not only is

it that she's just going back to school but it's a completely

different school than last year and she is now in 6th grade which is

so much different for her.

>

> When she came home from school today I asked her how ocd was and

she said barely there. Then she said that when the homeroom teacher

was reviewing the " rules/policies " that ocd told her to break

everyone of them! She knew that it was only ocd messing with her.

Then she asked me what it meant that some ocd thoughts had occurred

but that she wasn't afraid of them and that they just passed by

instead of ruminating. With a big smile I told her that it meant

that everything we've been working on was showing some

improvement. :0) :0)

>

> This day is definitely an UP day! I'm just going to sit back and

take a deep breath and of course thank god for his blessings.

>

> Love and Light,

> Jen

>

>

> Re: New and Confused

>

>

> It is such a relief to read all of your posts because my

daughter,

> like yours, has seemed to kind of " snapped out of it " but hers

has

> happened now that school has started! We attribute it to the fact

> that now her mind is occupied and in a daily routine at school.

> However, it is somewhat apparent on the weekends but it is

definitely

> minor as compared to this past summer when it all seemed to

explode.

> 20 We have received a dx from the psychiatrist of OCD but have yet

to

> see the therapist. Our appt. is on Sept. 25th-a long 6 weeks from

the

> time of dx and we have also fought to keep her off meds. We are

open

> to it just in case but we want to see how CBT and ERP works

first,

> especially since her symptoms have subsided a bit...for now. We

will

> keep our fingers crossed!

>

> As always, you are all in our thoughts and we are sending

positive

> energy your way!

>

>

>

>

> >

> > Don't be so hard on yourself. My daughter went through episodes

> similar, though not as drastic, at ages 4, 5, and 6. They were

all

> at the beginning of the school year. Each time, JUST as we were

> about to contact a doctor, she would " snap out of it " . Literally,

> she'd wake up one morning and be good as new. So 3 times, we

> didn't " push " it for fear of triggering her " quirkiness " again.

This

> time, her emotional distress and anxiety were just too much to

> ignore, and we decided we weren't letting it go again. Even if

> she " snaps out of it again " , at least now we know what we're

dealing

> with and she does

too.

> > It also sounds like you've been trying to manage without

> medication, which I want to try to do, too. But I can't decide

> whether to put her on the medicine to help with the immediate

> problems and THEN try other methods or try the other methods

first.

> She's always been seen as " odd " anyway among her peers (and now

we

> know why!), if the medication could help that aspect, then we may

> just try it for her sake.

> > Debbie

> >

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