Re: anyone awake? response to Debbie

[Guest guest]

Is it possible for you to drive her for now?

In a message dated 09/10/08 08:00:02 Eastern Daylight Time,

deborahcavender@... writes:

I got an email from our school counselor that the principal had talked to

the boys in question, but apparently it did no good at all. Yesterday, on the

afternoon bus, said they didn't tease her directly, but she could hear

them " saying things about her to everyone else " .

So I emailed the counselor back to tell her I was monitoring this every day and

if it continued, I would insist on a meeting at the school with the one main

kid's parents!

Debbie

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[Guest guest]

Joei is in 6th grade and has had H as her friend since kindergarten.  The night

Joei went to ER in the ambulance (before we knew what all this was) H was

spending the night and rode along with us.  She practically lives here, and was

with us at Disneyland when all this was just starting so she has seen it.

 

Joei also has another good friend named S that she spends a lot of time with

here at home.  She had me tell S what was going on because she wanted her to

know so she wouldn't take it personal when Joei couldn't spend the night at her

house. S has also been here through a lot of situations.

 

H doesn't attend Joei's school, but S does.  I have permission from both of

their parents to talk to them about what is going on with Joei, and I only tell

them what Joei wants me to tell them, that way she has some control over this

situation.

 

Both girls are VERY supportive of Joei and always know just the right things to

say to help her out. They are also very tolerant of the whole situation, even

when it affects them (like the botched trip to Disneyland).  It has actually

been a very beautiful thing to watch and to see how much they care for each

other.

 

Have you asked your daughter if anyone knows?  Joei is very adamant that nobody

else knows because she is embarrassed by her thoughts.  That's why I just leave

it up to her and what is comfortable for her.

~~Kathy

 

gkathy40@...

http://www.myspace.com/clearingachannel

yahoo messenger id  gkathy40@...

Courage is not living without fear.

Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway.

-Chae

Subject: Re: anyone awake?

To:

Date: Monday, September 8, 2008, 6:45 AM

Kathy, I have a question for you? How did your daughter handle her OCD

concerning her friends? I'm wondering if we should gather a couple of my

daughter's closer friends and tell them and their parents, just so someone in

her peer group is " aware " of what's really going on. Or did you let your

daughter make that call?

I hate for her to feel all alone in this at school. Her teachers know and that's

it, unless has told anyone else herself (I don't think she's told

anybody yet).

Debbie

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[Guest guest]

Kathy, I talked with last night about this and she's still adamant that

no one know. I asked her if she would be ok with me talking with a couple of

the parents of her friends or get their permission to talk to their kids, and

she still just kind of hemmed and hawed. There is one friend she wants to tell,

because she feels she is " trustworthy " , but hasn't yet, so I'm letting her make

that choice.

The biggest problem we have right now is she's being harassed by some kids on

the bus and at school, teased, etc. for her behavior. She's only been on

medicine 3 days and is still dealing with just knowing she has OCD. I'm going

to email the principal about this to get it stopped. She has enough to deal

with right now, and the schools shouldn't allow this kind of behavior.

Debbie

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[Guest guest]

I'm sorry she is being harrassed. I hope a stop is put to it.  We are new to

this to, it sure gets confusing as to what to do at times.  Kids are so damn

mean.

~~Kathy

 

gkathy40@...

http://www.myspace.com/clearingachannel

yahoo messenger id  gkathy40@...

Courage is not living without fear.

Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway.

-Chae

Subject: Re: anyone awake? response to Debbie

To:

Date: Tuesday, September 9, 2008, 6:42 AM

Kathy, I talked with last night about this and she's still adamant that

no one know. I asked her if she would be ok with me talking with a couple of the

parents of her friends or get their permission to talk to their kids, and she

still just kind of hemmed and hawed. There is one friend she wants to tell,

because she feels she is " trustworthy " , but hasn't yet, so I'm letting her make

that choice.

The biggest problem we have right now is she's being harassed by some kids on

the bus and at school, teased, etc. for her behavior. She's only been on

medicine 3 days and is still dealing with just knowing she has OCD. I'm going to

email the principal about this to get it stopped. She has enough to deal with

right now, and the schools shouldn't allow this kind of behavior.

Debbie

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

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[Guest guest]

I sent an email to the principal and the school counselor this morning about it.

I said I just wanted to make them aware of it, especially since it's 3

particular boys who are doing this and they ride our bus. I said I didn't know

what the school policy was on this sort of thing, but I hoped it was a

" no-tolerance " one.

I also specifically asked them, that if they talked to to get her side,

NOT to do it in front of these boys, as it would only embarrass her further. I

emphasized that is working hard to overcome this and " hide " it at

school, but that behaviors like this will only cause her to relapse and not get

better.

I quickly got a response from the counselor that she was going to talk to the

principal; I will keep you posted on what happens.

Debbie

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[Guest guest]

Debbie, I hate that she's being teased, etc.! Let us know how the talk

with the principal goes. went through similar, it's so hard as

a parent to know your child is going thru this!

>

> Kathy, I talked with last night about this and she's still

adamant that no one know. I asked her if she would be ok with me

talking with a couple of the parents of her friends or get their

[Guest guest]

I got an email from our school counselor that the principal had talked to

the boys in question, but apparently it did no good at all. Yesterday, on the

afternoon bus, said they didn't tease her directly, but she could hear

them " saying things about her to everyone else " .

So I emailed the counselor back to tell her I was monitoring this every day and

if it continued, I would insist on a meeting at the school with the one main

kid's parents!

Debbie

____________________________________________________________

Earn your associates degree. Find a school near you.

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[Guest guest]

Jordana, I wish I could drive all my kids to and from school every day. In the

mornings, it is impossible due to our work schedules, and neither of our

supervisors will let us come in later.

In the afternoons, they do have the option of staying at the after-school

program, so I'm probably going to let them do that 3 days of the week. The

other 2 days they have to ride home due to after-school activities and I don't

get off in time to pick them up at school (I work 20 miles away from the

school). I would love to shelter her from everything bad, but all the literature

I've read so far, says to keep things as normal as possible, that if I go to

extremes to " protect " her, it will only eventually increase her anxiety and make

it harder to deal with on her own. So she still is required to do her chores,

help around the house, take care of her personal hygiene, etc. I think it's this

sense of " normalcy " that has allowed her to handle it as well as she has.

Regarding school, the " culprit " in question has been talked to again, and

said she " heard " some other kids say if he harasses her in ANY way,

directly or not, he's in big trouble.

I hope it doesn't backfire and make it worse for her, but I just couldn't sit

back and let this kid have his way with treating her like that. My husband and

I feel differently on this subject and always have, so that's created a bit of

friction; but no more than usual.

Debbie

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