Suggestions, Thoughts, & Help Please

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LJ was suspended from riding the bus for one day.

MY 4 Y/O SON WAS SUSPENDED!!

I was in shock. I didn't know he could be suspended.

He had taken his shoes off and thrown them on the bus. Then, when

they told him he needed to keep his shoes on, he did, but then he

spit on the floor. This happened 3 out of 4 mornings only on the

morning trip to school. One of the days he threw his shoes, he hit

the bus aid in the head. I don't think he was aiming at her. I

think she was just in the line of his shot. Nevertheless, the bus

driver wrote him up for abuse of another those 3x.

This only happens on his morning pick up and ride to school; Candy's

route. He rides Candy's bus in the morning on the way to school,

and he rides 's bus home.

The principal got all 3 write ups on Friday and called me on Monday

afternoon letting me know he would be suspended from riding the bus

for 1 day. I asked why I hadn't been told of the write ups before

now and why there was no warning before the suspension. She said

typically with 3 write ups came 3 days suspension, but we

were " lucky " they were only giving him 1 day suspension. Also, we

were " lucky " that we were given the opportunity to choose which day

we wanted the suspension for, Tuesday or Wednesday.

I picked Wednesday, because on Tuesday...I would have to take him to

school, go pick him up, then take him again, and pick him up. On

Wednesdays, I just had to take him then pick him up.

They wanted to begin a behavior plan. They asked for suggestions.

I told them I had suggested last year when he threw his shoes out

the bus window that they take off his shoes right after he sat down

in his seat. The bus driver and aid decided on their own to

continue to let him wear his shoes.

Last year, when he had thrown his shoes out the window, I suggested

they close his window as well as the window in front and behind him,

and take off his shoes. The next day they told me he had thrown his

shoes again out the window. I looked at the bus. LJ's window was

the only one that was down. All the other windows were up. I was

perplexed! I reminded them what my suggestions had been the

previous day. All they said was, " Oh. "

They wanted a reward system so that when he did as he should he

would receive a reward as he reached the school. They, also,

suggested maybe he was bored, and that is why he is taking off his

shoes. They asked if he liked books. I said he loves books, but

the thing is he loves to throw more. He loves to throw balls, make

hoops, etc. I said if he had a book he would most likely throw it.

They said let's try the book. I said that would probably only work

if the bus aid were to sit with him, and read it to him. I didn't

think it would work if she simply handed him the book and walked

away. Well, Thursday morning the aid gave him his book, walked

away, and LJ threw it as far as he could.

So, he was written up for that. *Sigh* I tried to tell them.

It has been very difficult for me. I feel like he is only 4. How

will it be when he is older? How will I handle him as he continues

to grow stronger, bigger, older?

Only by the grace of God, and believe me...He is my strength because

there have been days especially these last 3 weeks that I felt I was

going to crack.

But I know that God will continue to help me and Joe continue to

raise our beautiful son in His way, and he will continue to give us

the grace and strength we need in this whole process. God's mercies

are new every morning. I know I'd be in a loony bin somewhere

without Him. Thank God for God!!!

I'm so thankful for Joe too. This all is very stressful, but Joe is

a wonderful, loving husband and daddy. Without God and Joe and the

support of our families and friends, I definitely would be in that

loony bin.

That all happened last month, in March. Since then, he has spit on

the floor 2 more times. The first time he did it, the principle

called me and said since the new behavior plan had just began we

would wait and see. The last time he spit was on Thursday, the last

day before Spring Break. The principle has called, and she and I

have played phone tag several times but have not had a chance to

talk yet.

I have a feeling he is going to be suspended again, but my questions

are...

How do we get him to stop spitting?

How do we extinguish this behavior?

When Temple Grandin was in town, I believe she said she was a

spitter, and one day her teacher spit in her face and she never spit

again.

I do not want to spit on my son nor have anyone else do that either.

There has to be a way to extinguish the spitting behavior.

I have made a social story that is all about greeting others

appropriately, and LJ loves his book. We also, have a bus rules

page that we go over every morning before he gets on the bus.

Your suggestions and thoughts will be most appreciated on the

spitting issue.

Thanks in advance,

Candie