Treatment resistance and immense frustration

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

Unfortunately, I am back. For some reason I didn't think this forum

applied to my situation with my son, but now I am convinced that his

issues are primarily OCD.

My 14 year old son's OCD traits are non-typical and by some accounts

could even be considered moderate. He has obsessive thoughts about my

husband and I dying in a car crash and he has to either be with us, or

connect with us constantly if we aren't with him. My husband and I

can't leave the house at the same time, and have only been out alone

together a few times in the past 5 years. Like so many of you, it's

been tough to strain out the OCD from the GAD from the ADD, but we are

pretty sure it's a mix of all 3. He also constantly cracks his

knuckles and picks his scabs until they bleed.

At any rate, over the past 5 years, we have seen 4 psychologists and 2

psychiatrists to try to get him on track. We have also tried about 5

different SSRI's (currently use Prozac) and 4 different ADD meds

(currently use Strattera). That's alot of appointments and time

trials on different meds. You probably know where I'm going here....

if his OCD and other issues were at times, a '10', he is probably now

an'8'. I'm thankful for any improvement, but the lack of any

significant progress over the past 5 years, has created huge

frustration in my son and in myself. I, as his mom, still have the

tenacity to continue exploring options, athough to say I'm burned out

is understating it. My son is also completely burned out and feels

completely hopeless. I am finding it hard to be the optimist with him

when I am beginning to lose hope myself.

As expected, the OCD, GAD and ADD combination has negatively affected

many aspects of his life. He is not on any school services, and has

always somehow gotten A's and B's. This year he started 9th grade and

the demands have increased exponentially. It's only been 3 weeks, but

it's been a rocky start and I'm nervous about it. He still has

friends, but his social life has gone from crazy busy a few years ago,

to pretty quiet right now. He has played baseball all his life, Fall

and Spring, and the anxiety even interferes now with that. He hasn't

been able to get a hit all season, after 6 games to date. I can't

tell you how much reassurance and support I have given him over the

years regarding his baseball skills. I think I'm tapped dry in that

category at this point and he is still looking for more support and

reassurance especially around getting a hit. Even his coaches, who

mean well, have commented that his struggles are all in his head. He

has what I think is an excessive interest in video games (calming

perhaps) and lately airsoft guns (kind of like paintball) neither of

which I approve of. Other than baseball, he has no extracurricular

activites. He is not a hard worker, and when he doesn't achieve

success in a short period of time, he loses interest, and typically

quits whatever the activity is. It's expensive and a time-suck. He

has absolutely no self-esteem which is probably the worst problem of

all of his problems.

I feel that he is crashing and burning, when at one point, he seemed

to have so much potential. I plan to continue with our current

psychiatrist who has been aggressive with changing regimens when there

is no response. He is not in any CBT treatment right now, because it

was agreed that until we could relieve some of his symptoms with meds,

he was not a good candidate for CBT. Plus, I refuse to make him go to

2 appointments a week. He just hates going to these doctors, and

lately has been falling asleep in the waiting room as an escape. Any

suggestions

for next moves or any advice would be so appreciated.

[Guest guest]

Hi.

Just a quick question. Have they tried giving him something for his anxiety?

Jen

Treatment resistance and immense frustration

Hi All,

Unfortunately, I am back. For some reason I didn't think this forum

applied to my situation with my son, but now I am convinced that his

issues are primarily OCD.

My 14 year old son's OCD traits are non-typical and by some accounts

could even be considered moderate. He has obsessive thoughts about my

husband and I dying in a car crash and he has to either be with us, or

connect with us constantly if we aren't with him. My husband and I

can't leave the house at the same time, and have only been out alone

together a few times in the past 5 years. Like so many of you, it's

been tough to strain out the OCD from the GAD from the ADD, but we are

pretty sure it's a mix of all 3. He also constantly cracks his

knuckles and picks his scabs until they bleed.

At any rate, over the past 5 years, we have seen 4 psychologists and 2

psychiatrists to try to get him on track. We have also tried about 5

different SSRI's (currently use Prozac) and 4 different ADD meds

(currently use Strattera). That's alot of appointments and time

trials on different meds. You probably know where I'm going here....

if his OCD and other issues were at times, a '10', he is probably now

an'8'. I'm thankful for any improvement, but the lack of any

significant progress over the past 5 years, has created huge

frustration in my son and in myself. I, as his mom, still have the

tenacity to continue exploring options, athough to say I'm burned out

is understating it. My son is also completely burned out and feels

completely hopeless. I am finding it hard to be the optimist with him

when I am beginning to lose hope myself.

As expected, the OCD, GAD and ADD combination has negatively affected

many aspects of his life. He is not on any school services, and has

always somehow gotten A's and B's. This year he started 9th grade and

the demands have increased exponentially. It's only been 3 weeks, but

it's been a rocky start and I'm nervous about it. He still has

friends, but his social life has gone from crazy busy a few years ago,

to pretty quiet right now. He has played baseball all his life, Fall

and Spring, and the anxiety even interferes now with that. He hasn't

been able to get a hit all season, after 6 games to date. I can't

tell you how much reassurance and support I have given him over the

years regarding his baseball skills. I think I'm tapped dry in that

category at this point and he is still looking for more support and

reassurance especially around getting a hit. Even his coaches, who

mean well, have commented that his struggles are all in his head. He

has what I think is an excessive interest in video games (calming

perhaps) and lately airsoft guns (kind of like paintball) neither of

which I approve of. Other than baseball, he has no extracurricular

activites. He is not a hard worker, and when he doesn't achieve

success in a short period of time, he loses interest, and typically

quits whatever the activity is. It's expensive and a time-suck. He

has absolutely no self-esteem which is probably the worst problem of

all of his problems.

I feel that he is crashing and burning, when at one point, he seemed

to have so much potential. I plan to continue with our current

psychiatrist who has been aggressive with changing regimens when there

is no response. He is not in any CBT treatment right now, because it

was agreed that until we could relieve some of his symptoms with meds,

he was not a good candidate for CBT. Plus, I refuse to make him go to

2 appointments a week. He just hates going to these doctors, and

lately has been falling asleep in the waiting room as an escape. Any

suggestions

for next moves or any advice would be so appreciated.

[Guest guest]

Welcome back.

Yeah, it is not a group any of us would like to belong to. But, here

we are. . And grateful to have one another for support. Glad you are

here with us, since it's needed.

I can tell you the difference between GAD thoughts and OCD thoughts.

The GAD thoughts have some truth to them, but are exaggerated. The

treatment for that is " realistic thinking " . Whereas the treatment for

OCD thoughts, which are unrealistic, is CBT, where they recognize the

thought as OCD, then disregard the thought as junk.. . Pushing to move

on and ignoring it, as best they can. That is where meds can usually

help (the ignoring part).

You say he is too anxious for therapy, but he is attending school.

How does he get through school? Just curious, because when our son

was bad, he couldn't do either. He would not have been able to get off

of the sofa to do any school work, or get to a doctor's appointment.

I can't help but feel some of what you are dealing with is teenage

behavior too. Our son is 16 and I see some of the same behaviors in

him. But, I also see it in his friends.

It can sure get convoluted.

BJ

>

> Hi All,

>

> Unfortunately, I am back. For some reason I didn't think this forum

> applied to my situation with my son, but now I am convinced that his

> issues are primarily OCD.

>

> My 14 year old son's OCD traits are non-typical and by some accounts

> could even be considered moderate. He has obsessive thoughts about my

> husband and I dying in a car crash and he has to either be with us, or

> connect with us constantly if we aren't with him. My husband and I

> can't leave the house at the same time, and have only been out alone

> together a few times in the past 5 years. Like so many of you, it's

> been tough to strain out the OCD from the GAD from the ADD, but we are

> pretty sure it's a mix of all 3. He also constantly cracks his

> knuckles and picks his scabs until they bleed.

>

> At any rate, over the past 5 years, we have seen 4 psychologists and 2

> psychiatrists to try to get him on track. We have also tried about 5

> different SSRI's (currently use Prozac) and 4 different ADD meds

> (currently use Strattera). That's alot of appointments and time

> trials on different meds. You probably know where I'm going here....

> if his OCD and other issues were at times, a '10', he is probably now

> an'8'. I'm thankful for any improvement, but the lack of any

> significant progress over the past 5 years, has created huge

> frustration in my son and in myself. I, as his mom, still have the

> tenacity to continue exploring options, athough to say I'm burned out

> is understating it. My son is also completely burned out and feels

> completely hopeless. I am finding it hard to be the optimist with him

> when I am beginning to lose hope myself.

>

> As expected, the OCD, GAD and ADD combination has negatively affected

> many aspects of his life. He is not on any school services, and has

> always somehow gotten A's and B's. This year he started 9th grade and

> the demands have increased exponentially. It's only been 3 weeks, but

> it's been a rocky start and I'm nervous about it. He still has

> friends, but his social life has gone from crazy busy a few years ago,

> to pretty quiet right now. He has played baseball all his life, Fall

> and Spring, and the anxiety even interferes now with that. He hasn't

> been able to get a hit all season, after 6 games to date. I can't

> tell you how much reassurance and support I have given him over the

> years regarding his baseball skills. I think I'm tapped dry in that

> category at this point and he is still looking for more support and

> reassurance especially around getting a hit. Even his coaches, who

> mean well, have commented that his struggles are all in his head. He

> has what I think is an excessive interest in video games (calming

> perhaps) and lately airsoft guns (kind of like paintball) neither of

> which I approve of. Other than baseball, he has no extracurricular

> activites. He is not a hard worker, and when he doesn't achieve

> success in a short period of time, he loses interest, and typically

> quits whatever the activity is. It's expensive and a time-suck. He

> has absolutely no self-esteem which is probably the worst problem of

> all of his problems.

>

> I feel that he is crashing and burning, when at one point, he seemed

> to have so much potential. I plan to continue with our current

> psychiatrist who has been aggressive with changing regimens when there

> is no response. He is not in any CBT treatment right now, because it

> was agreed that until we could relieve some of his symptoms with meds,

> he was not a good candidate for CBT. Plus, I refuse to make him go to

> 2 appointments a week. He just hates going to these doctors, and

> lately has been falling asleep in the waiting room as an escape. Any

> suggestions

> for next moves or any advice would be so appreciated.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Jen,

Besides giving him the Prozac being augmented with Buspiron for his

anxiety, I have recently tried giving him a Xanax when I had to leave

the house for a commitment, as was recommended by the p-doc. My son

said he didn't feel any different, but then ended up falling asleep

early. I missed my commitment.

Is that what you mean by something for anxiety?

[Guest guest]

Hi .

Yes.

Jen

Re: Treatment resistance and immense frustration

Hi Jen,

Besides giving him the Prozac being augmented with Buspiron for his

anxiety, I have recently tried giving him a Xanax when I had to leave

the house for a commitment, as was recommended by the p-doc. My son

said he didn't feel any different, but then ended up falling asleep

early. I missed my commitment.

Is that what you mean by something for anxiety?

[Guest guest]

It sounds like he has separation anxiety rather than OCD.  A good friend of

mine's daughter is dealing with this right now.  She is about 12.  You might

want to look up books on childhood anxiety that have chapters specifically on

this.

Treatment resistance and immense frustration

Hi All,

Unfortunately, I am back. For some reason I didn't think this forum

applied to my situation with my son, but now I am convinced that his

issues are primarily OCD.

My 14 year old son's OCD traits are non-typical and by some accounts

could even be considered moderate. He has obsessive thoughts about my

husband and I dying in a car crash and he has to either be with us, or

connect with us constantly if we aren't with him. My husband and I

can't leave the house at the same time, and have only been out alone

together a few times in the past 5 years. Like so many of you, it's

been tough to strain out the OCD from the GAD from the ADD, but we are

pretty sure it's a mix of all 3. He also constantly cracks his

knuckles and picks his scabs until they bleed.

At any rate, over the past 5 years, we have seen 4 psychologists and 2

psychiatrists to try to get him on track. We have

also tried about 5

different SSRI's (currently use Prozac) and 4 different ADD meds

(currently use Strattera). That's alot of appointments and time

trials on different meds. You probably know where I'm going here....

if his OCD and other issues were at times, a '10', he is probably now

an'8'. I'm thankful for any improvement, but the lack of any

significant progress over the past 5 years, has created huge

frustration in my son and in myself. I, as his mom, still have the

tenacity to continue exploring options, athough to say I'm burned out

is understating it. My son is also completely burned out and feels

completely hopeless. I am finding it hard to be the optimist with him

when I am beginning to lose hope myself.

As expected, the OCD, GAD and ADD combination has negatively affected

many aspects of his life. He is not on any school services, and has

always somehow gotten A's and B's. This year he started 9th grade and

the demands have increased exponentially. It's only been 3 weeks, but

it's been a rocky start and I'm nervous about it. He still has

friends, but his social life has gone from crazy busy a few years ago,

to pretty quiet right now. He has played baseball all his life, Fall

and Spring, and the anxiety even interferes now with that. He hasn't

been able to get a hit all season, after 6 games to date. I can't

tell you how much reassurance and support I have given him over the

years regarding

his baseball skills. I think I'm tapped dry in that

category at this point and he is still looking for more support and

reassurance especially around getting a hit. Even his coaches, who

mean well, have commented that his struggles are all in his head. He

has what I think is an excessive interest in video games (calming

perhaps) and lately airsoft guns (kind of like paintball) neither of

which I approve of. Other than baseball, he has no extracurricular

activites. He is not a hard worker, and when he doesn't achieve

success in a short period of time, he loses interest, and typically

quits whatever the activity is. It's expensive and a time-suck. He

has absolutely no self-esteem which is probably the worst problem of

all of his problems.

I feel that he is crashing and burning, when at one point, he seemed

to have so much potential. I plan to continue with our current

psychiatrist who has been aggressive with changing regimens when there

is no response. He is not in any CBT treatment right now, because it

was agreed that until we could relieve some of his symptoms with meds,

he was not a good candidate for CBT. Plus, I refuse to make him go to

2 appointments a week. He just hates going to these doctors, and

lately has been falling asleep in the waiting room as an escape. Any

suggestions

for next moves or any advice would be so appreciated.

[Guest guest]

>

> To:

> Sent: Mon, 22 Sep 2008 10:04 am

> Subject: Treatment resistance and immense frustration

>

>

> We actually ruled that out separation anxiety Jordana, but it was

our initial diagnosis. The pdoc thinks that it is more of an

obsession since he is able to separate easily from us when he goes to

school. It is so hard to parse when it's not a straightforward issue!

>

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>

> Hi All,

>

>

>

> Unfortunately, I am back. For some reason I didn't think this forum

>

> applied to my situation with my son, but now I am convinced that his

>

> issues are primarily OCD.

>

>

>

> My 14 year old son's OCD traits are non-typical and by some accounts

>

> could even be considered moderate. He has obsessive thoughts about my

>

> husband and I dying in a car crash and he has to either be with us, or

>

> connect with us constantly if we aren't with him. My husband and I

>

> can't leave the house at the same time, and have only been out alone

>

> together a few times in the past 5 years. Like so many of you, it's

>

> been tough to strain out the OCD from the GAD from the ADD, but we are

>

> pretty sure it's a mix of all 3. He also constantly cracks his

>

> knuckles and picks his scabs until they bleed.

>

>

>

> At any rate, over the past 5 years, we have seen 4 psychologists and 2

>

> psychiatrists to try to get him on track. We have

> also tried about 5

>

> different SSRI's (currently use Prozac) and 4 different ADD meds

>

> (currently use Strattera). That's alot of appointments and time

>

> trials on different meds. You probably know where I'm going here....

>

> if his OCD and other issues were at times, a '10', he is probably now

>

> an'8'. I'm thankful for any improvement, but the lack of any

>

> significant progress over the past 5 years, has created huge

>

> frustration in my son and in myself. I, as his mom, still have the

>

> tenacity to continue exploring options, athough to say I'm burned out

>

> is understating it. My son is also completely burned out and feels

>

> completely hopeless. I am finding it hard to be the optimist with him

>

> when I am beginning to lose hope myself.

>

>

>

> As expected, the OCD, GAD and ADD combination has negatively affected

>

> many aspects of his life. He is not on any school services, and has

>

> always somehow gotten A's and B's. This year he started 9th grade and

>

> the demands have increased exponentially. It's only been 3 weeks, but

>

> it's been a rocky start and I'm nervous about it. He still has

>

> friends, but his social life has gone from crazy busy a few years ago,

>

> to pretty quiet right now. He has played baseball all his life, Fall

>

> and Spring, and the anxiety even interferes now with that. He hasn't

>

> been able to get a hit all season, after 6 games to date. I can't

>

> tell you how much reassurance and support I have given him over the

>

> years regarding

> his baseball skills. I think I'm tapped dry in that

>

> category at this point and he is still looking for more support and

>

> reassurance especially around getting a hit. Even his coaches, who

>

> mean well, have commented that his struggles are all in his head. He

>

> has what I think is an excessive interest in video games (calming

>

> perhaps) and lately airsoft guns (kind of like paintball) neither of

>

> which I approve of. Other than baseball, he has no extracurricular

>

> activites. He is not a hard worker, and when he doesn't achieve

>

> success in a short period of time, he loses interest, and typically

>

> quits whatever the activity is. It's expensive and a time-suck. He

>

> has absolutely no self-esteem which is probably the worst problem of

>

> all of his problems.

>

>

>

> I feel that he is crashing and burning, when at one point, he seemed

>

> to have so much potential. I plan to continue with our current

>

> psychiatrist who has been aggressive with changing regimens when there

>

> is no response. He is not in any CBT treatment right now, because it

>

> was agreed that until we could relieve some of his symptoms with meds,

>

> he was not a good candidate for CBT. Plus, I refuse to make him go to

>

> 2 appointments a week. He just hates going to these doctors, and

>

> lately has been falling asleep in the waiting room as an escape. Any

>

> suggestions

>

> for next moves or any advice would be so appreciated.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

What a kind and thoughtful reply Chris. I can see that we overlap in

some areas. I am married (not single) but my husband tends to back

away from complicated, overwhelming situations like this, so I feel

like I am mostly going thru this alone. It's tough to make all the

decisions that affect our precious children with little collaboration

other than docs of course.

Thanks for the tips on anafranil or effexor. I will research those. I

guess I should give my son more credit for keeping it up with the

meds. I know he hates taking them, and any day I am waiting for him

to start refusing. If they were helping him significantly, that would

be one thing. I am sorry your son refuses to take any. It's such a

conflict anyway to give our kids drugs, and to have to force them on

top of it, is the worst.

My son can stay at home when one of us is with him. At his worst, he

would still call the other one who wasn't home, but that has lessened

a bit. When we are home with him he feels we are safe and is relieved

that he doesn't have to worry. He knows its all illogical.

I hate that it's affecting his sports too. We have done an extreme

amount of skills training with him; clinics, batting cages, even some

private coaching. He is physically capable, but when he gets up to

bat, he gets anxious and just can't hit the ball. Then, that makes

him feel worse. It's awful, especially after 8 years of dedication to

one sport.

Airsoft shoots out plastic pellets, like BB's in the old days, but not

metal. It stings, but not nearly as much as paintball. Still, I

worry that a BB could get in his eye or lodge somewhere else. He does

wear safety goggles.

I hope you are feeling strong today.