[SPAM]Re: [SPAM] Re: parent contamination/thanks Chris

[Guest guest]

I'm thinking both. I also notice that when Joei's anxiety is high, she is

more grouchy and also more defiant. This is how I have had to gauge her

anxiety lately because she isn't sharing to much with me about what is going

on in that head of hers. I don't think she likes the answers she gets

because I am refusing to talk to the OCD.

_____

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Silvia Medina Vilchis

Sent: Friday, November 14, 2008 1:11 PM

To:

Subject: [sPAM]Re: [sPAM] Re: parent contamination/thanks

Chris

Hello All,

In a way I feel relived, I thought my son was the only one being

defiant and unwilling to do chores. Is this OCD or teenage or both?

Sil

Kathy G wrote:

>

> Hi Debbie, I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. My

> daughter is

> the same way and dealing with this has taken it's toll as well. I'm trying

> to learn new ways to cope. She has a therapy appt this afternoon and I am

> going to talk to the therapist about it while my daughter is sitting there

> to see if we can't come to some solutions. I feel like walking out the

> door

> a lot to. Lol You are not alone.

>

> _____

>

> From: @ <mailto:%40yahoogroups.com>

yahoogroups.com

> <mailto:%40yahoogroups.com>

> [mailto:@ <mailto:%40yahoogroups.com>

yahoogroups.com

> <mailto:%40yahoogroups.com>] On Behalf Of

> deborahcavender@ <mailto:deborahcavender%40netzero.net> netzero.net

<mailto:deborahcavender%40netzero.net>

> Sent: Friday, November 14, 2008 12:36 PM

> To: @ <mailto:%40yahoogroups.com>

yahoogroups.com

> <mailto:%40yahoogroups.com>

> Subject: [sPAM] Re: parent contamination/thanks Chris

>

> Rose and Chris.

> I know what you mean when you say how it affects your family. I hate to

> admit it to anybody, but last night I just wanted to get up and walk

> out the

> door. And today, I've been so depressed, i just don't feel like I care

> about

> anything. It's only been 3 months and I'm tired of trying to get her

> to read

> the books, do exposure, do anything. She just wants to wallow in

> having OCD

> and not do anything to help herself. The only thing she's willing to do is

> take the medicine, and it's just not helping.at this point. I'm not even

> sure this new therapist is going to work out.

> She's been so difficult to live with these last two weeks, and such a

> smarta#$t, talking back, defying us, saying she'll do her chores, and then

> not do them. And when we ask why she won't do them, she just sits

> there. She

> only has 3 little chores! We impose a punishment and she just says, OK. We

> have fought almost every day over these stupid chores; it's just

> feeding her

> cats, filling the dishwasher, and vacuuming. It's mostly the cats and the

> dishwasher; she claims its the OCD, but I think it's also just a

> convenient

> excuse to not do anything. It'd be easier to just give up on it, but then

> that's not fair to my son, who has been taking up her slack (like feeding

> all the cats so they won't starve!) AND doing his own chores! Then she

> gets

> mad at him for doing her chore! And then she goes on and on last night

> about

> how we don't love her and pick on her and make her our slave! GIVE ME A

> BREAK! She's been a little mouthy in the past, but nothing like this!

> Maybe some of you won't think I'm a good parent, but last night, while I

> love my daughter very much, I sure didn't LIKE her much! I am hoping and

> praying this will subside when we back down the meds.

> Debbie

>

> __________________________________________________________

> Be a professional. Click here to earn a psychology degree.

> http://thirdpartyof

> <http://thirdpartyof

<http://thirdpartyoffers.netzero.net/TGL2241/fc/Ioyw6i4vFH9EbP7LbvpxnYIdMzKk

> fers.netzero.net/TGL2241/fc/Ioyw6i4vFH9EbP7LbvpxnYIdMzKk

> <http://thirdpartyof

<http://thirdpartyoffers.netzero.net/TGL2241/fc/Ioyw6i4vFH9EbP7LbvpxnYIdMzKk

> fers.netzero.net/TGL2241/fc/Ioyw6i4vFH9EbP7LbvpxnYIdMzKk>

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> WP1cBT/

>

>

[Guest guest]

This is going on at my house as well (I have a 14-yr old son with OCD) and my

theory is that he has so little control over what's going on in his head with

the OCD, that being defiant is his way of trying to gain SOME control of his

life.? sigh.? It is hard.?

Lee

[sPAM] Re: parent contamination/thanks Chris

>

> Rose and Chris.

> I know what you mean when you say how it affects your family. I hate to

> admit it to anybody, but last night I just wanted to get up and walk

> out the

> door. And today, I've been so depressed, i just don't feel like I care

> about

> anything. It's only been 3 months and I'm tired of trying to get her

> to read

> the books, do exposure, do anything. She just wants to wallow in

> having OCD

> and not do anything to help herself. The only thing she's willing to do is

> take the medicine, and it's just not helping.at this point. I'm not even

> sure this new therapist is going to work out.

> She's been so difficult to live with these last two weeks, and such a

> smarta#$t, talking back, defying us, saying she'll do her chores, and then

> not do them. And when we ask why she won't do them, she just sits

> there. She

> only has 3 little chores! We impose a punishment and she just says, OK. We

> have fought almost every day over these stupid chores; it's just

> feeding her

> cats, filling the dishwasher, and vacuuming. It's mostly the cats and the

> dishwasher; she claims its the OCD, but I think it's also just a

> convenient

> excuse to not do anything. It'd be easier to just give up on it, but then

> that's not fair to my son, who has been taking up her slack (like feeding

> all the cats so they won't starve!) AND doing his own chores! Then she

> gets

> mad at him for doing her chore! And then she goes on and on last night

> about

> how we don't love her and pick on her and make her our slave! GIVE ME A

> BREAK! She's been a little mouthy in the past, but nothing like this!

> Maybe some of you won't think I'm a good parent, but last night, while I

> love my daughter very much, I sure didn't LIKE her much! I am hoping and

> praying this will subside when we back down the meds.

> Debbie

>

> __________________________________________________________

> Be a professional. Click here to earn a psychology degree.

> http://thirdpartyof

> <http://thirdpartyof

<http://thirdpartyoffers.netzero.net/TGL2241/fc/Ioyw6i4vFH9EbP7LbvpxnYIdMzKk

> fers.netzero.net/TGL2241/fc/Ioyw6i4vFH9EbP7LbvpxnYIdMzKk

> <http://thirdpartyof

<http://thirdpartyoffers.netzero.net/TGL2241/fc/Ioyw6i4vFH9EbP7LbvpxnYIdMzKk

> fers.netzero.net/TGL2241/fc/Ioyw6i4vFH9EbP7LbvpxnYIdMzKk>

> n5XmoEAcUnVLfnlD5TerWP1cBT/>

>

fers.netzero.net/TGL2241/fc/Ioyw6i4vFH9EbP7LbvpxnYIdMzKkn5XmoEAcUnVLfnlD5Ter

> WP1cBT/

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Lee,

Yes, I think this IS the case. We felt that way too. They have lost

control of life as they knew it and now need to fight to control all

the " stuff " attached to the OCD and everyone around them that gets in

the way of that.

Our son, now 17, and on the other side of this, tells us now that his

head was so taken up with the obsessions that he often could not

process what people said to him. Incoming and outgoing information

was filtered through the OCD and everything could get twisted

around. Just impossible for them at some point.

Often the control is about OCD stuff that they feel they NEED to have

go their way, and often can't tell you about it either. I know our

son often felt we were causing his problems because we would not

comply with his requests, or said and did the " wrong " things. So he

would be angry with us and take it out on us. Nothing we said or did

could convince him otherwise when he was in the throws of the OCD,

but sometimes when he was between the waves we could talk about it

and plan for next time...

Coupled with adolescence and all the changes going on it truly is

just too much for everyone sometimes!

Warmly,

Barb

> >

> > Hi Debbie, I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. My

> > daughter is

> > the same way and dealing with this has taken it's toll as well.

I'm trying

> > to learn new ways to cope. She has a therapy appt this afternoon

and I am

> > going to talk to the therapist about it while my daughter is

sitting there

> > to see if we can't come to some solutions. I feel like walking

out the

> > door

> > a lot to. Lol You are not alone.

> >

> > _____

> >

> > From: @ <mailto:%40yahoogroups.com>

> yahoogroups.com

> > <mailto:%40yahoogroups.com>

> > [mailto:@ <mailto:%

40yahoogroups.com>

> yahoogroups.com

> > <mailto:%40yahoogroups.com>] On Behalf Of

> > deborahcavender@ <mailto:deborahcavender%40netzero.net>

netzero.net

> <mailto:deborahcavender%40netzero.net>

> > Sent: Friday, November 14, 2008 12:36 PM

> > To: @ <mailto:%40yahoogroups.com>

> yahoogroups.com

> > <mailto:%40yahoogroups.com>

> > Subject: [sPAM] Re: parent contamination/thanks

Chris

> >

> > Rose and Chris.

> > I know what you mean when you say how it affects your family. I

hate to

> > admit it to anybody, but last night I just wanted to get up and

walk

> > out the

> > door. And today, I've been so depressed, i just don't feel like I

care

> > about

> > anything. It's only been 3 months and I'm tired of trying to get

her

> > to read

> > the books, do exposure, do anything. She just wants to wallow in

> > having OCD

> > and not do anything to help herself. The only thing she's willing

to do is

> > take the medicine, and it's just not helping.at this point. I'm

not even

> > sure this new therapist is going to work out.

> > She's been so difficult to live with these last two weeks, and

such a

> > smarta#$t, talking back, defying us, saying she'll do her chores,

and then

> > not do them. And when we ask why she won't do them, she just sits

> > there. She

> > only has 3 little chores! We impose a punishment and she just

says, OK. We

> > have fought almost every day over these stupid chores; it's just

> > feeding her

> > cats, filling the dishwasher, and vacuuming. It's mostly the cats

and the

> > dishwasher; she claims its the OCD, but I think it's also just a

> > convenient

> > excuse to not do anything. It'd be easier to just give up on it,

but then

> > that's not fair to my son, who has been taking up her slack (like

feeding

> > all the cats so they won't starve!) AND doing his own chores!

Then she

> > gets

> > mad at him for doing her chore! And then she goes on and on last

night

> > about

> > how we don't love her and pick on her and make her our slave!

GIVE ME A

> > BREAK! She's been a little mouthy in the past, but nothing like

this!

> > Maybe some of you won't think I'm a good parent, but last night,

while I

> > love my daughter very much, I sure didn't LIKE her much! I am

hoping and

> > praying this will subside when we back down the meds.

> > Debbie

> >

> > __________________________________________________________

> > Be a professional. Click here to earn a psychology degree.

> > http://thirdpartyof

> > <http://thirdpartyof

>

<http://thirdpartyoffers.netzero.net/TGL2241/fc/Ioyw6i4vFH9EbP7LbvpxnY

IdMzKk

> > fers.netzero.net/TGL2241/fc/Ioyw6i4vFH9EbP7LbvpxnYIdMzKk

> > <http://thirdpartyof

>

<http://thirdpartyoffers.netzero.net/TGL2241/fc/Ioyw6i4vFH9EbP7LbvpxnY

IdMzKk

> > fers.netzero.net/TGL2241/fc/Ioyw6i4vFH9EbP7LbvpxnYIdMzKk>

> > n5XmoEAcUnVLfnlD5TerWP1cBT/>

> >

>

fers.netzero.net/TGL2241/fc/Ioyw6i4vFH9EbP7LbvpxnYIdMzKkn5XmoEAcUnVLfn

lD5Ter

> > WP1cBT/

> >

> >