[SPAM][SPAM]Re: Re: Thank You Everyone from Staci ========= Marcia & BJ

[Guest guest]

Awwwww (((((Kathy)))))

I suspect we've all been there. I know I have. . So depleted that I

was running on empty. Yet, somehow we find a way to get up and put

one foot in front of the other.

I know you are going through a lot right now, and I feel for you,

because I know that feeling. I've experienced being overwhelmed. .So

overwhelmed that a drink sounded pretty good. But, that was when I

had a talk with myself and reminded myself that alcohol never helped

with anything. . It always made things worse, and it sure wouldn't

make the situation with our son better. There were many times where I

felt I was surviving minute by minute. . Especially when I was coping

with my own health issues and our son's OCD at the same time. But,

things got better, with time, for us. And the odds are they will for

you too. Embrace that, and believe it, for yourself and your

daughter. Repeat it to yourself daily, if you have to. Hang onto

that belief, because it will give you hope. Hope is the opposite of

depression. And it's probably depression making you feel like you

want to crawl in bed and sleep through it all. (((you)))

Human nature is to want to try to escape things that are too difficult

to cope with. But the reality is, we have to face it head on, just

like our kids have to do with the OCD, to gain control over it.

Please don't think that is a judgement of any kind. . It is just an

observation, and I think a very natural response that ALL people face

when things are incredibly tough.

I once listened to (yet another) pastor, who said we need to put our

will in charge of our emotions. . Then, eventually, the emotions will

follow. I thought, " yeah. .right! " , but you know when I've done it,

it works. Not saying it's easy. . But, it has worked for me. Finding

the strength to " will yourself " to do what you know you need to do, is

hard. But, if you can do it, rather than listening to what your

emotions are telling you, it helps. For instance, have you ever made

yourself get up and do something you didn't want to do, then find

later you were actually sort of enjoying it? The emotions can follow.

Part of it for me, too, is admitting I'm powerless. Knowing I can

only do what I can do, then the rest is out of my hands. And

accepting that sometimes there aren't absolute answers. I had to

learn to accept that with my health issues. I grieved for a long time

for the " life " I used to have, and had to learn to accept the " new,

changed " me and learn to live with it. It was a good lesson, because

I had to use the same with our son. I had to learn that he may never

have the life I wanted for him. Life seldom turns out how we think it

will. But, by letting go of " my dreams " for him, I was able to allow

myself to work with what we have, accepting the way things are, rather

than how I'd like them to be, then move forward from there.

You're going to make it through this, Kathy! You will!

Big Hugs,

BJ

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> > Where do you draw your strength from? You both seem like you are

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> > women. I get the impression that it shines in your faces as well.

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