Re: Fear of death - linked to contamination fears?

[Guest guest]

Absolutely!!? My daughter has always had symptoms of OCD, but hers has been

centered on death ever since she experienced a horrible year of watching my mom

die a terrible drawn out death due to a brain tumor.? For a while, my daughter

would have sudden panic attacks where she would scream out, " I don't want to

die! over and over.? It would come out of nowhere.? Most of her fears after that

and her rituals involved ways to protect herself from death.

Fear of death - linked to contamination fears?

I've been pondering my daughter's OCD all weekend and I have a question for all

of you. One of the " triggers " that began all this and perhaps the main one was

a discussion at my DD's birthday sleepover on Aug. 23 about dying in your sleep.

Everything got worse after that.

All of 's OCD fears center around getting sick and dying, though you

wouldn't automatically know that. But every once in a while, when she's

bothered enough by one of her fears, she will completely succumb to it and blurt

out, " well, I know it's going to kill me! " or " I'm going to die! " . So I feel

this entire problem is linked to this one main fear; I feel this is her true

obsession.

If she's willing to do it, I plan to have her talk to our preacher and just ask

questions about death. Maybe if she can actually talk about it and face it a

little bit, it would help calm it a little, and in a domino effect, help with

the coinciding contamination fears. I remember having a terrible fear of death

myself after my Grandpa died at 13; whenever I would think about it, I would

feel the anxiety rise, but I was able to squash by just refusing to think about

it (total mental avoidance). Apparently, 's not able to do this. She's

also experienced death twice; her uncle (who lived with us right before his

death) died tragically at 34 yrs (Jess was 6); then her Grandma died in 2007

after a bypass surgery and 4-month hospital stay during which I was flying back

and forth between MO and NC whenever I could.

Soooo, has anyone else ever seen this in their child; I mean, one main obsession

leading to the many little ones? And how do you do exposure therapy for the

fear of death??!! Any other ideas for how to address this particular fear?

Debbie

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[Guest guest]

Hi Debbie,

My son has one big obsessive thought, that involves being able to

feel. He has conquered most everything else but this one. He says

he could not meet it head on, just too hard, goes to core identity,

teen boy... He knows now it's OCD, where in the past he thought it

was him. We talk about how he can work with it now, but in the past

he could not even speak about it and would distort it into other

things.

Now he can't totally ignore it, or dismiss it as just OCD, but he at

least does not let the thought take over and create other problems.

So I guess what I am trying to say is it was a process of coming to

terms with the fact that this thought/identity thing IS OCD. So

gaining this insight first, and now it is a process of learning how

to work with it, and hopefully eventually be able to totally ignore

or not believe it at all. Ours finds learning to ignore/dismiss the

thoughts works better than trying to do some exposure, think for some

thoughts a direct exposure is just too big.

So if as you say your pastor could speak with your daughter and help

her gain some insight into this it might be helpful. Sometimes/often

anyone other than Mum/Dad carries more weight, plus it is not so

close to home emotionally.

The types of exposures you would do for a thought is writing the

thought out over and over, reading it back to yourself over and over,

recording it on a loop tape and listening to it, putting up signs all

over the house reminding you that you might die. In short exposing

yourself to what you most fear over and over.

Death is about the biggest fear for many I'm sure, and it seems to be

pretty common fear with OCD, whether fear of illness leading to death

from germs, or fear that you might harm/kill yourself or others, or

some other such link. It is very common from what I have read and

heard from others. Kind of the ultimate consequence to hold over

someone, that OCD bully is no dummy.... Also, part of the brain

affected is the " fight or flight " reptilean brain, so makes sense,

life or death stuff fits with this.

We had multiples deaths in our family at the outset of our son's

OCD. It had already started, but I know it intensified everything.

Our son used to ask us to kill him so it would make the " torture " in

his head stop, and at other times would be so afraid of germs and

their potential to harm him. When he was well enough to joke about

it, we would say, well if the germs killed him at least it would be

all over! (have to be in the right place for this one, he WOULD find

it funny).

It does feel like life and death to them much of the time, so if they

can get to a place where they can take the charge out of this it is

an answer. Pretty much have to be able to say, if I die, oh well...

Not an easy place to get to for anyone, just that much harder with

this disorder. This seemed to be the progression for our son on this.

After two years ours " flooded " himself with all his contamination

fears to conquer them. At that point he felt he had no life, so

guess that's worse than death at some point.

Hope others have more ideas for you on this.

Barb

>

> I've been pondering my daughter's OCD all weekend and I have a

question for all of you. One of the " triggers " that began all this

and perhaps the main one was a discussion at my DD's birthday

sleepover on Aug. 23 about dying in your sleep. Everything got worse

after that.

> All of 's OCD fears center around getting sick and dying,

though you wouldn't automatically know that. But every once in a

while, when she's bothered enough by one of her fears, she will

completely succumb to it and blurt out, " well, I know it's going to

kill me! " or " I'm going to die! " . So I feel this entire problem is

linked to this one main fear; I feel this is her true obsession.

> If she's willing to do it, I plan to have her talk to our preacher

and just ask questions about death. Maybe if she can actually talk

about it and face it a little bit, it would help calm it a little,

and in a domino effect, help with the coinciding contamination

fears. I remember having a terrible fear of death myself after my

Grandpa died at 13; whenever I would think about it, I would feel the

anxiety rise, but I was able to squash by just refusing to think

about it (total mental avoidance). Apparently, 's not able to

do this. She's also experienced death twice; her uncle (who lived

with us right before his death) died tragically at 34 yrs (Jess was

6); then her Grandma died in 2007 after a bypass surgery and 4-month

hospital stay during which I was flying back and forth between MO and

NC whenever I could.

> Soooo, has anyone else ever seen this in their child; I mean, one

main obsession leading to the many little ones? And how do you do

exposure therapy for the fear of death??!! Any other ideas for how

to address this particular fear?

> Debbie

>

> ____________________________________________________________

> Click here to find the perfect picture with our powerful photo

search features.

>

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>

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