Guest guest Posted December 6, 2008 Report Share Posted December 6, 2008 After four years of battling an eating disorder my daughter says she has given it up but has apparently started a germ phobia as her compulsion, which I certainly can't complain about. She has a team of drs. working with her and has for some time but after all this time, I still get frustrated with never having clean towels becauses she washes so much, buying tons of soap, never hot water, septic tank getting overloaded from so much water and other stuff like that. I know I can't control her behaviors, only she can and I know she needs our support and love more than ever. I'm wondering how other parents deal with their frustrations so that it doesn't get in the way of supporting their children. Thanks, Sandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 In a message dated 12/6/2008 7:21:51 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, maccafan2@... writes: get frustrated with never having clean towels becauses she washes so much, buying tons of soap, never hot water, septic tank getting overloaded from so much water and other stuff like that. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,I'm wondering how other parents deal with their frustrations so that it doesn't get in the way of supporting their children. Sandy " LT " here....my daughter has conquered her OCD (for the most part) however, I still lurk in the shadows of the message board... we also had the germ issue (among others). It is difficult when it affects the rest of the family - as you mention, running out of towels, no hot water, etc. I don't know if it will be helpful, but here are a couple things we did. We told our daughter that we understood her " need " to use a new towel every time she showered... but she wouldn't be allowed to leave the rest of the family with no clean towels, or to heap a ridiculous amount of work/laundry on me as a result of her " need " - she had to start doing laundry herself. At least twice a week she was required to do a load of towels. She naturally couldn't touch dirty laundry from someone else, so we bought her own hamper for her bedroom - just her stuff & towels went in it (which she still didn't like touching - but was easier to do than touching her smelly teenage brother's socks & underwear. I even had a fear of doing that, and I didn't have OCD. ha!) The separate hamper also helped me, in that, she would wear clothing only once - then it had to be washed. Her clothes were literally falling apart from the continual washing & drying. Given the fact that her clothes (underwear & socks aside) were never really dirty when the hit the hamper, I would do laundry for her only when she was at school or out... jeans, jackets, etc., where tumbled on low or air fluff with a couple scented dryer sheets and damp towel (to get the wrinkles out). She never knew the difference and it saved most of her clothes (and our wallet from replacing them.) If your daughter is washing that much, is she having difficulty with dry, cracked skin? My daughter's hands looked like little lobsters - bright red. It was horrible. She would cry when we put lotion on them because it would sting so badly. I finally replaced all the hand soap in the house (every sink - even the kitchen) with & 's liquid baby bath soap. It worked GREAT. Those are just a couple tips... I hope they help a little. Good luck to you, your daughter & your family. LT **************Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and favorite sites in one place. Try it now. (http://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp & icid=aolcom40vanity & ncid=emlcntaolcom00000010) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 Great tips. Â I remember back when I was a young adult living at home with my parents after college because my OCD was so out of control and I was going through the whole family's towel stock because of my showering, washing, and fears. Â What a difficult time it was, and that is a huge understatement!! Re: Daughters germ phobia In a message dated 12/6/2008 7:21:51 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, maccafan2@... writes: get frustrated with never having clean towels becauses she washes so much, buying tons of soap, never hot water, septic tank getting overloaded from so much water and other stuff like that. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,I'm wondering how other parents deal with their frustrations so that it doesn't get in the way of supporting their children. Sandy " LT " here....my daughter has conquered her OCD (for the most part) however, I still lurk in the shadows of the message board... we also had the germ issue (among others). It is difficult when it affects the rest of the family - as you mention, running out of towels, no hot water, etc. I don't know if it will be helpful, but here are a couple things we did. We told our daughter that we understood her " need " to use a new towel every time she showered... but she wouldn't be allowed to leave the rest of the family with no clean towels, or to heap a ridiculous amount of work/laundry on me as a result of her " need " - she had to start doing laundry herself. At least twice a week she was required to do a load of towels. She naturally couldn't touch dirty laundry from someone else, so we bought her own hamper for her bedroom - just her stuff & towels went in it (which she still didn't like touching - but was easier to do than touching her smelly teenage brother's socks & underwear. I even had a fear of doing that, and I didn't have OCD. ha!) The separate hamper also helped me, in that, she would wear clothing only once - then it had to be washed. Her clothes were literally falling apart from the continual washing & drying. Given the fact that her clothes (underwear & socks aside) were never really dirty when the hit the hamper, I would do laundry for her only when she was at school or out... jeans, jackets, etc., where tumbled on low or air fluff with a couple scented dryer sheets and damp towel (to get the wrinkles out). She never knew the difference and it saved most of her clothes (and our wallet from replacing them.) If your daughter is washing that much, is she having difficulty with dry, cracked skin? My daughter's hands looked=2 0like little lobsters - bright red. It was horrible. She would cry when we put lotion on them because it would sting so badly. I finally replaced all the hand soap in the house (every sink - even the kitchen) with & 's liquid baby bath soap. It worked GREAT. Those are just a couple tips... I hope they help a little. Good luck to you, your daughter & your family. LT **************Make your life easier with all your friends, email, and favorite sites in one place. Try it now. (http://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp & icid=aolcom40vanity & ncid=emlcntaolcom00000010) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 Hi Sandy, You must be so relieved your daughter has conquered the eating disorder, but it is so frustrating that it has to switch to something else and something that causes you and the family grief. You brought back memories for me, this was our son's first OCD issue and he would also only use towels and clothes once, lots of soap, long showers, big fat hydro and water bills... I read another post about " pretending " to launder clothes, we did some of that. I would get fed up with all the laundry, but since it was early days with the disorder for us when this was going on we were told to just accomodate it until meds were started and CBT got going, which never really happened, but that's another story. I do remember feeling pretty frustrated with it all and found myself feeling less supportive over it all, it was just so all consuming. Honestly, I hid in books, movies, would escape to Starbucks when I thought I might explode and contemplate not going home, long baths, showers, anything to escape and have a moment of peace. At that point I found talking with others not helpful, although I did eventually see a psychologist on occassion just to get it all out with someone who would not judge it or me. In the end though I would try to remember he couldn't help it, was not trying to make my life difficult, tried to hold my focus on the hope that we would eventually get help, move past this, learn how to do it better, but for now, at that point, this is what our life is. If I could do that, I would feel less frustrated because I wasn't wanting it to be any different than it was. I'm sure you have already gone through this in a big way with the eating disorder. Sometimes rereading a passage in one of the many books on OCD would help me remember what my son was going through and I would feel more sympathetic again (esp when he was not always being a very nice person). On a more practical note though, if she is working with doctors, are they doing CBT yet? If so, perhaps you can suggest they work on the towel use to cut down on the laundry bills, and also shower length etc. Not sure where you are at with this, but I would certainly put in your requests for the heirarchy list!!! I'm sure after four years of dealing with all this you are worn out and ready for a holiday from this #@$#@ OCD! I think the more you can do for yourself so you don't get depleted and resentful the better. Hang in there. Warmly, Barb -- In , " maddmomm43 " wrote: > > After four years of battling an eating disorder my daughter says she > has given it up but has apparently started a germ phobia as her > compulsion, which I certainly can't complain about. She has a team of > drs. working with her and has for some time but after all this time, I > still get frustrated with never having clean towels becauses she washes > so much, buying tons of soap, never hot water, septic tank getting > overloaded from so much water and other stuff like that. I know I can't > control her behaviors, only she can and I know she needs our support > and love more than ever. I'm wondering how other parents deal with > their frustrations so that it doesn't get in the way of supporting > their children. > Thanks, Sandy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 Hi I noticed you mention eating disorder due to OCD, can you describe? I'm starting to believe my son is going through this too. He can start eating at 9:00pm and go on for 2 hours eating everything he can find. Any info is appreciated Sil wrote: > > Hi Sandy, what all have you already tried at home? Like limiting the > number of towels or amount of soap (over time, not all at once), or > targeting how often she can wash hands or length of showers/baths...? > > So glad she beat the eating disorder!! We went through a, luckily, > short period with eating problems (due to OCD) and that was scary!! > > > > > > > >with her and has for some time but after all this time, I > > still get frustrated with never having clean towels becauses she > washes > > so much, buying tons of soap, never hot water, septic tank getting > > overloaded from so much water and other stuff like that. I know I > can't > > control her behaviors, only she can and I know she needs our support > > and love more than ever. I'm wondering how other parents deal with > > their frustrations so that it doesn't get in the way of supporting > > their children. > > Thanks, Sandy > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 Medications can cause this insatiable appetite. Â What medication is he on? Re: Re: Daughters germ phobia Hi I noticed you mention eating disorder due to OCD, can you describe? I'm starting to believe my son is going through this too. He can start eating at 9:00pm and go on for 2 hours eating everything he can find. Any info is appreciated Sil wrote: > > Hi Sandy, what all have you already tried at home? Like limiting the > number of towels or amount of soap (over time, not all at once), or > targeting how often she can wash hands or length of showers/baths...? > > So glad she beat the eating disorder!! We went through a, luckily, > short period with eating problems (due to OCD) and that was scary!! > > > > > > > >with her and has for some time but after all this time, I > > still get frustrated with never having clean towels becauses she > washes > > so much, buying tons of soap, never hot water, septic tank getting > > overloaded from so much water and other stuff like that. I know I > can't > > control her20behaviors, only she can and I know she needs our support > > and love more than ever. I'm wondering how other parents deal with > > their frustrations so that it doesn't get in the way of supporting > > their children. > > Thanks, Sandy > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 Hi Sil, well his OCD problem was not eating. Where some with OCD might not eat due to fear of germs/contamination, poison, etc., had made these impulsive, ridiculous promises to God that he wouldn't eat certain foods/ingredients. You seem to have the opposite problem, too much eating! Is he on medication? Sometimes meds might increase hunger/eating. Another thought, how old is he? When they hit certain ages, I don't think they can ever get full! (Said by a mom who raised 3 sons, and one still eats every 1 to 2 hours when he's home from college.) > > Hi > I noticed you mention eating disorder due to OCD, can you describe? > I'm starting to believe my son is going through this too. He can start > eating at 9:00pm and go on for 2 hours eating everything he can find. > Any info is appreciated Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 He is on Luvox the highest dosage. Jordana120@... wrote: > > Medications can cause this insatiable appetite. What medication is he on? > > Re: Re: Daughters germ phobia > > Hi > > I noticed you mention eating disorder due to OCD, can you describe? > > I'm starting to believe my son is going through this too. He can start > > eating at 9:00pm and go on for 2 hours eating everything he can find. > > Any info is appreciated > > Sil > > wrote: > > > > > > Hi Sandy, what all have you already tried at home? Like limiting the > > > number of towels or amount of soap (over time, not all at once), or > > > targeting how often she can wash hands or length of showers/baths...? > > > > > > So glad she beat the eating disorder!! We went through a, luckily, > > > short period with eating problems (due to OCD) and that was scary!! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >with her and has for some time but after all this time, I > > > > still get frustrated with never having clean towels becauses she > > > washes > > > > so much, buying tons of soap, never hot water, septic tank getting > > > > overloaded from so much water and other stuff like that. I know I > > > can't > > > > control her20behaviors, only she can and I know she needs our support > > > > and love more than ever. I'm wondering how other parents deal with > > > > their frustrations so that it doesn't get in the way of supporting > > > > their children. > > > > Thanks, Sandy > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 9, 2008 Report Share Posted December 9, 2008 Well, I'd bet that this is the reason if there has been a change in appetite on it. Â I personally gain weight on every one of the OCD meds that I have tried. Â For me, though, my OCD is so severe that I haven't been able to remain off of one and function well, Re: Re: Daughters germ phobia > > Hi > > I noticed you mention eating disorder due to OCD, can you describe? > > I'm starting to believe my son is going through this too. He can start > > eating at 9:00pm and go on for 2 hours eating everything he can find. > > Any info is appreciated > > Sil > > wrote: > > > > > > Hi Sandy, what all have you already tried at home? Like limiting the > > > number of towels or amount of soap (over time, not all at once),=2 0or > > > targeting how often she can wash hands or length of showers/baths...? > > > > > > So glad she beat the eating disorder!! We went through a, luckily, > > > short period with eating problems (due to OCD) and that was scary!! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >with her and has for some time but after all this time, I > > > > still get frustrated with never having clean towels becauses she > > > washes > > > > so much, buying tons of soap, never hot water, septic tank getting > > > > overloaded from so much water and other stuff like that. I know I > > > can't > > > > control her20behaviors, only she can and I know she needs our support > > > > and love more than ever. I'm wondering how other parents deal with > > > > their frustrations so that it doesn't get in the way of supporting > > > > their children. > > > > Thanks, Sandy > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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