Re: Thanks BJ...Im smiling...

[Guest guest]

, Josh was afraid of the dark up until about 2 years ago. He was

going on 15 before he gave up his light at night time. I think that

is not that unusual for kids with anxiety disorders. I just let him

figure out when he was ready to give it up. I figured he had so many

other things to cope with, that that just wasn't worth bothering with.

Micah has a lot going on, so I wouldn't worry about that one. He

will get there. ) They all do, it seems, eventually. . Just takes

longer for some.

Concerning therapy. . . We had two appointments together where we

talked and the doctor evaluated everything. By the third appointment,

Josh was working on making his list. By the 4th, he started his

CBT/ERP, choosing the easiest to start with. He started getting

things under control, one ritual at a time, starting with that 4th

appointment. It took a few months to get into his list a ways, going

once a week. But, it can be different for everyone. It depends on

how much it bothers them, as to how fast they can move forward. Some

" get " it right away, others struggle more. It takes patience, that's

for sure!

We reached a point where we were out of money and could only afford to

go once a month. He's been on that schedule ever since. At this

point, he is done with his list, but the therapist is coaching him

through coming up with ERP for anything new that pops up. He is

encouraging Josh to do it more himself, but being there to help him if

he isn't sure how to approach the ritual to get in under control.

On the way home, I was explaining to Josh that the CBT/ERP is training

for his lifetime. And how this is training for Josh to figure out how

to confront things as they come up in his life. Eventually it will be

up to him to recognize, and start exposures for anything new that OCD

comes up with. Along with applying any old exposures if the old stuff

tries to flare back up. He asked me if I had been talking to his

therapist, because apparently that is what he told Josh today too.

We've been going for quite a while, but when you only go once a month,

it can drag out. Still, Josh's OCD has been mostly under control, for

a long time now. I expect he will be done soon, with only occasional

trips for fine tuning, or flare ups.

BJ

>

> ohhhh....that's so good BJ, that's all of Micah's, that I know of.

Unless

> there's things he's not telling me. afraid of the dark....I wonder

if that's

> just kid stuff. He loves horror movies, so that may be part of the

dark thing.

>

> BJ, do you remember how many appts it took to really get things under

> control?

>

>

>

> In a message dated 12/2/2008 11:33:43 A.M. Central Standard Time,

> BJClosner@... writes:

>

> A word of encouragement, . When Josh started his CBT/ERP, the

> stuff that needed to " feel just right " , was the easiest for him to

> overcome. The stuff with the anxiety attached was a bit harder. So,

> if Micah has a lot that needs to " feel just right " , it might go quick,

> like it did for us. ) Here's hoping. . .

>

> BJ

>

>

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[Guest guest]

When he would have a friend overnight, I would pave the way for him,

making it easier by saying, " Josh, I'm going to leave this light on so

you boys don't step on each other during the night, in case one of you

have to get up and use the bathroom " . Took the pressure off of the

situation, without having to try to explain anything. )

I wouldn't let Josh watch things that were upsetting either, Beth. I

figured why " feed the monster " that was already at work on our son

24/7. Amazingly, I relented once and let him watch the Mummy, (this

was years ago now, when it came out) and I was worried the Mummies

would freak him out. Not at all. . It was the scarabs that did the

head trip on him. lol Can't seem to predict at times.

Now that he is older, I'm trying to be less protective so he can

experience more of the real world, which will not protect him the way

I do. It's hard to turn off when they get older though. You spend

your whole life protecting this vulnerable little child, but his

therapist had a talk with me about letting him experience things that

are upsetting, because how else will he learn to cope with them. He

had a point. I've been doing better. <grin>

It is MUCH easier to enforce when they are 9!!!! lol

BJ

>

> >>afraid of the dark....I wonder if that's just kid stuff. He loves

horror movies

>

> Kate is nine and is still very attached to her nightlight. The

therapist said lots of people are afraid of the dark and if she has to

have a nightlight the rest of her life it's no big deal. He felt that

was one little piece of " security blanket " that he's totally not

concerned about. Hopefully our kids will out grow the need for

nightlights but it's one thing I've decided not to get stressed over!

>

> And, by the way, she loves scary books. We don't allow scary movies

yet and, again on her therapists advice, she doesn't watch television

(especially news programs!). Again, though, she's only nine so it's

pretty easy to enforce.

>

> Beth

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hey BJ/Beth,

Ditto on the night light and up to age 16! I know ours was always

afraid of the dark. Then with OCD it got tied up with spirits - no

escape even at night, or from things you can't see...! Ours was like

this from a young age too, used to be able to say I had vacuumed all

the ghosts out of his room.

Ours never could watch scary stuff, but after violent OCD thoughts

took over his head he said nothing on tv was anything close to what

he had already seen or imagined in his head. Think it ended up being

a form of exposure too... They do grow up and beyond some of this

stuff too I guess.

>

> When he would have a friend overnight, I would pave the way for him,

> making it easier by saying, " Josh, I'm going to leave this light on

so

> you boys don't step on each other during the night, in case one of

you

> have to get up and use the bathroom " . Took the pressure off of the

> situation, without having to try to explain anything. )

>

[Guest guest]

Barb, that is so upsetting to think that his thoughts were worse than

the worst of horror movies on tv. ( Breaks my heart to think he

had to go through that. So many do. <sigh>

I'm so, so glad he is doing better now. That is a real encouragement

to those who are living it now. Seems they never get rid of

everything, but if they can learn to cope with most of it, they can

have a relatively normal life.

Brings to mind. . . Josh's therapist commented yesterday that Josh

probably deals with stuff all of the time that nobody is aware of. It

really made me stop and think. I mean, I knew that. . .But, I really

stopped and thought about it, and what that meant to a kid that is

trying so hard to succeed in this world. It really can be a handicap

that nobody sees.

Hugs,

BJ

> >

> > When he would have a friend overnight, I would pave the way for him,

> > making it easier by saying, " Josh, I'm going to leave this light on

> so

> > you boys don't step on each other during the night, in case one of

> you

> > have to get up and use the bathroom " . Took the pressure off of the

> > situation, without having to try to explain anything. )

> >

>

[Guest guest]

It was okay with Josh for us to tell a few friends of his, over the

years. Kids can be pretty funny sometimes, in their reactions. I

usually just mentioned that Josh had OCD, and that it could make him

do some quirky things. The typical response was, " Oh, okay " . It was

like a little mental shrug, then they were ready to play video games.

It seems so many kids are affected by something anymore that a lot of

kids are pretty accepting of most anything. That's been our

experience anyway.

On the other hand, some kids can be cruel and use things against you,

so we were careful about who we told. We made sure it was someone

that Josh was pretty good friends with, who was a caring person.

BJ

>

> You know that's a good idea BJ,

> Micah's never had a friend spend the night, but he wants to.

> The kids still don't know he has Tourette's, I wonder if he should

wait. He

> can hold his tics back for the most part at school, but at home he

lets loose.

> I would think his friend would need to know, or it might scare him.

One of

> Micah's tics is yelling Osha...Dosha...its so funny, we all get a

chuckle out

> of it, including Micah, its made something so hard easier to deal

with.

> And the OCD...I don't know how we would handle that with a friend that

> doesn't know about it.

> Micah's are all touching things over and over, kind of hard to

explain to a

> 12 year old.

>

>

>

>

> In a message dated 12/2/2008 11:40:29 P.M. Central Standard Time,

> BJClosner@... writes:

>

>

>

>

> When he would have a friend overnight, I would pave the way for him,

> making it easier by saying, " Josh, I'm going to leave this light on so

> you boys don't step on each other during the night, in case one of you

> have to get up and use the bathroom " . Took the pressure off of the

> situation, without having to try to explain anything. )

>

>

>

>

>

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