Re:screen time and tv at night

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

It is interesting... I have wanted to have this battle with my 9 year

old off and on over some time now.... but, I realize that it allows

him to escape, so I try not to be too hard about it... but at times I

feel enough is enough. I have recently instituted that each day it is

not raining... he must go and see if neighborhood friends are

available to play outside... he has gotten to the point where I don't

even have to tell him to go anymore... we live in California, so our

weather is nice enough year round (when not raining) to be outside....

even if cold... there is always a jacket.... but!, I too worry about

this.

The one thing I had to do recently is let him go to sleep with a movie

or cartoon... his OCD goes into overdrive at night and if he doesn't

have a diversion... he obsesses... so I asked his psychologist if it

would be okay and we both agreed that watching a cartoon or video he

has seen in the past isn't going to keep him awake, but it will free

up his mind to go to sleep.... he doesn't spend so much time

obsessing... it is working really well... of course except for the 12

year old sister who now finds her way into her brothers room to watch

the video as well

I wish I had the answers.... I usually find that I end up doing what

it takes to survive with a bit of my sanity.....

Vicki

Elk Grove, CA

> >

> > I am wondering if you all would be willing to share how you

> structure

> > the amount of screen time your children are allowed each week? My

> 14

> > year old thinks that I the 'only parent' amongst all his friends

who

> > is strict with screen time. Mind you, I allow 2 hours per night

>

[Guest guest]

Jane,

Thanks for the info... I have heard that before as well, but luckily

have not had a negative issue yet... One thing though is that we let

him watch Spongebob or Tom and Jerry.... something cartoonish.... I

am 38 and still love them, so hopefully this will stick for a long

time. We were dealing with our 9 year olds OCD keeping him from

sleeping... where, because of his ADHD... the doctor would have us put

a movie on when he was younger, so he would calm down at night... it

is working for the OCD too... he falls asleep to it... but, we don't

put anything realistic on... thanks though because I never thought of

it like that and we will continue to make sure they are animation

videos, non-violent, etc....

have a great one...

vicki

>

> I have to jump in here and just remind all of us about the study

that came

> out about video games and screen time causing too much aggression.

The

> study found that tv/video games (especially for some reason the hand

held

> kind) put many kids in a trance like state, that is not relaxing

like

> sleep, and when this " trance " is broken by turning off the " screen "

> (usually at the request of a parent) it cause aggressive behaviour.

We were

> seeing this in one of our kids (non OCD, but many other issues). An

> interventionist we used said that we need to 1) make sure she

watches a

> small amount (30 mins), 2) make sure she gets to see the end (let

the

> credits roll she said), and 3) give her something crunch (to

regengage the

> brain and bring them back to reality) to eat (like popcorn).

>

> That said I know first hand we all have to do what works for us,

given what

> we deal with day in and day out. I only share this as an

educational bit of

> info in case anyone is seeing increased bad behaviour after screen

time.

>

> Jane

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Jane for breaking down the trouble with interupting the

screen. I don't usually get aggressive behavior, but alot of

opposition and requests for more time. None of them are good. What

I've learned by asking this question is that 1) we need to do what is

best for the children and if that is letting them 'relax' thru

screens, then allow it. And 2) when the kids get a break, let's face

it, we get a break. But with all that said, I still think I will be

monitoring the amount of time spent on screens, and keep on trying to

get him to refocus on what else is out there.

We have spent the last week getting him ready for high school ski team

tryouts. The first tryout was last night, and my son doesn't think he

will make the team. He tends to be very hard on himself, though, and

we'll find out for sure tonight, after the second tryout. He will be

crushed if he doesn't make it and I am concerned as his self-esteem

doesn't need another hit.

[Guest guest]

Hoping he gets in! I know for my brother competitive swimming was a real

help (though the competition could be tough).

Jane