Re: Meltdowns, holidays, things have gotten really bad

[Guest guest]

, if your son's medication is being prescribed through your son's

pediatrician, you really should find a psychiatrist who is quite knowledgeable

about OCD to do the prescribing.  Also, you really need an OCD therapist to

help you help your son better cope with the OCD and outbursts.  I'm so glad

that you had a good X-mas!!  As far as his outbursts being directed at you

because he has something against you, it is probably just the opposite.  My

daughter tends to get mad at me when things aren't working out because she says

she has this belief that I should be able to make things better for her.  I

remember sort of having that belief about my mom when I was a kid.  Still, my

daughter has never had rages, thank heavens, just crying fits.  As far as the

rages go, you should make sure your son knows that he can't hit you or throw

things at you.  You need to feel safe and he needs to learn that this isn't

okay and you are lucky that he is young enough to learn this before it gets out

of hand.  There are wonderful books for young kids that teach them about OCD

that you can get from Amazon.com., as well as books for you to teach you how to

help your son.  One of the first things that helped my daughter was that her

therapist had her name her OCD; she chose " Creepy Guy " .  She even had her draw

a picture of " Creepy Guy " .  I think this could be very helpful for a little one

like yours.  This way you two can talk a

bout his OCD in this concrete fashion.  For example, when my daughter has a

specific fear that is upsetting her, I can tell her that this is " Creepy Guy "

talking and we mustn't give in to him.  

Meltdowns, holidays, things have gotten really bad

I posted awhile ago about putting my 5 year old on zolft. He has now

been on it for about 11 weeks I think. He seemed to be doing alright

with some breakthrough meltdowns. Since the day xmas vacation started

we have had exactly one good day-xmas-that's it! Of course he is good

when I am at work and he is with hubby though. Last friday and xmas

eve and this friday were really bad, rages, hitting, throwing (he is

strong), lots of tears, anxiety (he is afraid of santa coming to our

house and I forgot hat till he mentioned it late xmas eve), then he

was sad that xmas was over. He is irrational to the point of making

me want to tear my hair out. Today he hit me(threw it) with a metal

car in the face. Everyone says I just need to spank him (yeah,

that'll help his anxiety). he has begun to get obseesvie again-must

do certain things even if it is impossible (one day was he needed to

get icicles off the building=2

0which were unreachable, major meltdown

ensued). I don't knwo how we will make it through this next week or

what he will be like when school starts. I don't know if it's the

med. The time of year. WHo knows. I get so frustrated and it is hard

to keep my cool with him. I did today and had a car thrown at me. I

need to find a psychiatrist for him but haven't been able to yet. The

doc prescribing the med won't make any changes as he wants him to see

a specialist. I just feel like this is against me because he doesn't

do this for anyone else. But this morning I don't know what could

have triggered him. Before xmas break I thought the med was helping

him and thought the OCD was even getting better as were the anger and

sadness but now I don't know. Maybe it's me?

[Guest guest]

, did your son have rages before being put on the Zoloft? You mentioned

he might be bipolar. If this is the case the Zoloft could cause some major

trouble for him. Is a psychiatrist prescribing meds for your son? Is he also on

a mood stabilizer? My bipolar/OCD dd had some major problems with Prozac when

she didn't have a mood stabilizer with it. Please be careful if your son might

truly be bipolar. Good luck, Stormy

Subject: Meltdowns, holidays, things have gotten really bad

To:

Date: Sunday, December 28, 2008, 8:13 AM

I posted awhile ago about putting my 5 year old on zolft. He has now

been on it for about 11 weeks I think. He seemed to be doing alright

with some breakthrough meltdowns. Since the day xmas vacation started

we have had exactly one good day-xmas-that' s it! Of course he is good

when I am at work and he is with hubby though. Last friday and xmas

eve and this friday were really bad, rages, hitting, throwing (he is

strong), lots of tears, anxiety (he is afraid of santa coming to our

house and I forgot hat till he mentioned it late xmas eve), then he

was sad that xmas was over. He is irrational to the point of making

me want to tear my hair out. Today he hit me(threw it) with a metal

car in the face. Everyone says I just need to spank him (yeah,

that'll help his anxiety). he has begun to get obseesvie again-must

do certain things even if it is impossible (one day was he needed to

get icicles off the building which were unreachable, major meltdown

ensued). I don't knwo how we will make it through this next week or

what he will be like when school starts. I don't know if it's the

med. The time of year. WHo knows. I get so frustrated and it is hard

to keep my cool with him. I did today and had a car thrown at me. I

need to find a psychiatrist for him but haven't been able to yet. The

doc prescribing the med won't make any changes as he wants him to see

a specialist. I just feel like this is against me because he doesn't

do this for anyone else. But this morning I don't know what could

have triggered him. Before xmas break I thought the med was helping

him and thought the OCD was even getting better as were the anger and

sadness but now I don't know. Maybe it's me?

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I feel for you on all this, it's so hard. It is not personal, and

yet it is, with the OCD and the meltdowns and rages. What I mean is

that you are probably his " safest " person, and there might even be an

OCD based thing attached to you also, it was the case for me. The

not personal part is just the OCD and a kid not able to cope and

lashing out and you happen to be the " chosen one " , which never feels

like much of an honor or priviledge, but such is motherhood....

If your son was doing better, hold onto that. There will be blips

and episodes regardless of how well they are doing. Christmas,

change of routine, loss of structure, sugar, excitement,less sleep,

new OCD stuff to worry over, usually more social and various

stressses, positive and negative; all add up to set the stage for the

overload and such episodes.

Mine is 17, generally doing well, and we had several OCD based

episodes over the holiday so far. Only difference for us is that we

are in a better place with it all, our son in particular has enough

insight(still a teen though) to be able to manage himself now, and we

know when he erupts it is the OCD and we will talk later when he is

calm.

Ours still gets " caught " in the thoughts and has difficulty sorting

out reality in the moment, it really is difficult when your mind

distorts what is being said in social situations and you don't know

what the truth is and start to feel people are against you, which is

some of what our son experiences. He will then come to me and

whisper some awful thing in my ear, because he needs to release the

venum that is building inside him. I feel as if I have been slapped

physically by his words. I think, oh God, he we go, I can't do this,

then I remember, we are not " there " anymore, it's temporary, he'll

move past this maybe a few minutes, maybe a few hours, hopefully not

days, but he knows better now, and he will remember what he has to do.

We lived through awful stuff with all this. We had to find a way to

help our son learn how to manage his OCD, medication plays a part,

but the larger part is learning. The learning curve can be steep,

your son is young and given the stresses already mentioned it all

adds up. Take heart in knowing this is now, not forever, your son

was doing better and will do better. It will go up and down,

sometimes for reasons, sometimes for no reason, this is the

impersonal part of this condition.

Yours son loves you and needs you. As much as he is acting out

against you, it is because he feels safe to do so. You must let him

know that you are there for him and want to help, that you know he is

struggling, and so are you.

On a practical note ask him to come up with options for himself to

let out his frustration, help him figure out what he can and cannot

do. It's really hard to stay calm and neutral about it, esp when it

feels so personal, I really do understand this, ours has said

absolutely horrible things to me, but I learned to speak to it

without taking it in, knowing that it was my son, but wasn't, if you

know what I mean. Have to say I could relate to the level of

desperation I felt in him, and understood he was simply flailing...

Some of it you just get through.

Specific to the medication piece, what dose are you at now? Do you

see any connection to dose increase and more aggression? We did

experience this, and needed to reduce to low dose, 20mg celexa. At

higher doses aggression got really bad, truly could not contain

himself. Not sure if this is a factor?

Hang in there. This is not fun. Try to step back from it and gain

some clarity about all the pieces.

Big HUG to you!!!

Barb

>

> I posted awhile ago about putting my 5 year old on zolft. He has

now

> been on it for about 11 weeks I think. He seemed to be doing

alright

> with some breakthrough meltdowns. Since the day xmas vacation

started

> we have had exactly one good day-xmas-that's it! Of course he is

good

> when I am at work and he is with hubby though. Last friday and xmas

> eve and this friday were really bad, rages, hitting, throwing (he

is

> strong), lots of tears, anxiety (he is afraid of santa coming to

our

> house and I forgot hat till he mentioned it late xmas eve), then he

> was sad that xmas was over. He is irrational to the point of making

> me want to tear my hair out. Today he hit me(threw it) with a metal

> car in the face. Everyone says I just need to spank him (yeah,

> that'll help his anxiety). he has begun to get obseesvie again-must

> do certain things even if it is impossible (one day was he needed

to

> get icicles off the building which were unreachable, major meltdown

> ensued). I don't knwo how we will make it through this next week or

> what he will be like when school starts. I don't know if it's the

> med. The time of year. WHo knows. I get so frustrated and it is

hard

> to keep my cool with him. I did today and had a car thrown at me. I

> need to find a psychiatrist for him but haven't been able to yet.

The

> doc prescribing the med won't make any changes as he wants him to

see

> a specialist. I just feel like this is against me because he

doesn't

> do this for anyone else. But this morning I don't know what could

> have triggered him. Before xmas break I thought the med was helping

> him and thought the OCD was even getting better as were the anger

and

> sadness but now I don't know. Maybe it's me?

>

[Guest guest]

He always has had rages and they seem to be connected to anxiety( not

being able to do things the way he thinks they should be done, etc.).

I know that SSRIs and bipolar do not mix he has not recieved this as

a diagnosis. I have medicaid and am trying to find him a doc but with

that it is nearly impossible. I have to make do with our family doc

until some miracle hapens and I find a psychiatrist other than

community mental health.

>

>

>

> Subject: Meltdowns, holidays, things have gotten

really bad

> To:

> Date: Sunday, December 28, 2008, 8:13 AM

>

>

>

>

>

>

> I posted awhile ago about putting my 5 year old on zolft. He has

now

> been on it for about 11 weeks I think. He seemed to be doing

alright

> with some breakthrough meltdowns. Since the day xmas vacation

started

> we have had exactly one good day-xmas-that' s it! Of course he is

good

> when I am at work and he is with hubby though. Last friday and xmas

> eve and this friday were really bad, rages, hitting, throwing (he

is

> strong), lots of tears, anxiety (he is afraid of santa coming to

our

> house and I forgot hat till he mentioned it late xmas eve), then he

> was sad that xmas was over. He is irrational to the point of making

> me want to tear my hair out. Today he hit me(threw it) with a metal

> car in the face. Everyone says I just need to spank him (yeah,

> that'll help his anxiety). he has begun to get obseesvie again-must

> do certain things even if it is impossible (one day was he needed

to

> get icicles off the building which were unreachable, major meltdown

> ensued). I don't knwo how we will make it through this next week or

> what he will be like when school starts. I don't know if it's the

> med. The time of year. WHo knows. I get so frustrated and it is

hard

> to keep my cool with him. I did today and had a car thrown at me. I

> need to find a psychiatrist for him but haven't been able to yet.

The

> doc prescribing the med won't make any changes as he wants him to

see

> a specialist. I just feel like this is against me because he

doesn't

> do this for anyone else. But this morning I don't know what could

> have triggered him. Before xmas break I thought the med was helping

> him and thought the OCD was even getting better as were the anger

and

> sadness but now I don't know. Maybe it's me?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you. It is nice to have people understand. He seemed to do

really well with the med and I am wondering if we need to go higher

on the dose? But I think waiting until school starts and routines get

back to normal needs to happen first. The fact that he was so good

christmas day tells me it was because the pressure he was feeling or

whatever was let out and he could enjoy the day.I could kick myself

for forgetting how scared he is about santa and not doing something

sooner.We ended up putting a sign on the door telling santa not to

stop here and it woked! I wish I could always be creative. Then he

went into this post holiday depression it seemed (but his anxiety

looks alot like depression sometimes). He can get all reved up,

laughing (only I seem to know the differecne between the nervous

laugh and what is genuine), I pushed him into his room for a time out

and he just wanted more pusing me to be more mean to him? Some I

think is sensory-it is very snowy and cold here and we live in a

small apt so he isn't getting the input he needs ( I have a

trampoline and other things but he won't do them). My husband looked

at me todya as if I caused this (he is so good for him). I just don't

know. He is geting too big for the things that used to work (time out

in his room, etc). He breaks things in his anger now.

> >

> > I posted awhile ago about putting my 5 year old on zolft. He has

> now

> > been on it for about 11 weeks I think. He seemed to be doing

> alright

> > with some breakthrough meltdowns. Since the day xmas vacation

> started

> > we have had exactly one good day-xmas-that's it! Of course he is

> good

> > when I am at work and he is with hubby though. Last friday and

xmas

> > eve and this friday were really bad, rages, hitting, throwing (he

> is

> > strong), lots of tears, anxiety (he is afraid of santa coming to

> our

> > house and I forgot hat till he mentioned it late xmas eve), then

he

> > was sad that xmas was over. He is irrational to the point of

making

> > me want to tear my hair out. Today he hit me(threw it) with a

metal

> > car in the face. Everyone says I just need to spank him (yeah,

> > that'll help his anxiety). he has begun to get obseesvie again-

must

> > do certain things even if it is impossible (one day was he

needed

> to

> > get icicles off the building which were unreachable, major

meltdown

> > ensued). I don't knwo how we will make it through this next week

or

> > what he will be like when school starts. I don't know if it's the

> > med. The time of year. WHo knows. I get so frustrated and it is

> hard

> > to keep my cool with him. I did today and had a car thrown at me.

I

> > need to find a psychiatrist for him but haven't been able to yet.

> The

> > doc prescribing the med won't make any changes as he wants him to

> see

> > a specialist. I just feel like this is against me because he

> doesn't

> > do this for anyone else. But this morning I don't know what could

> > have triggered him. Before xmas break I thought the med was

helping

> > him and thought the OCD was even getting better as were the anger

> and

> > sadness but now I don't know. Maybe it's me?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Is there a community mental health practitioner who would be willing to consult

with an OCD specialist for you?  I bet Dr. Jenike of the OCD-List would be

willing to speak to that person to give best ideas re:medication.

Meltdowns, holidays, things have gotten

really bad

> To:

> Date: Sunday, December 28, 2008, 8:13 AM

>

>

>

>

>

>

> I posted awhile ago about putting my 5 year old on zolft. He has

now

> been on it for about 11 weeks I think. He seemed to be doing

alright

> with some breakthrough meltdowns. Since the day xmas vacation

started

> we have had exactly one good day-xmas-that' s it! Of course he is

good

> when I am at work and he is with hubby though. Last friday and xmas

> eve and this friday were really bad, rages, hitting, throwing (he

is

> strong), lots of tears, anxiety (he is afraid of santa coming to

our

> house and I forgot hat till he mentioned it late xmas eve), then he

> was sad that xmas was over. He is irrational to the point of making

> me want to tear my hair out. Today he hit me(threw it) with a metal

> car in the face. Everyone says I just need to spank him (yeah,

> that'll help his anxiety). he has begun to get obseesvie again-must

> do certain things even if it is impossible (one day was he needed

to

> get icicles off the building which were unreachable, major meltdown

> ensued). I don't knwo how we will make

it through this next week or

> what he will be like when school starts. I don't know if it's the

> med. The time of year. WHo knows. I get so frustrated and it is

hard

> to keep my cool with him. I did today and had a car thrown at me. I

> need to find a psychiatrist for him but haven't been able to yet.

The

> doc prescribing the med won't make any changes as he wants him to

see

> a specialist. I just feel like this is against me because he

doesn't

> do this for anyone else. But this morning I don't know what could

> have triggered him. Before xmas break I thought the med was helping

> him and thought the OCD was even getting better as were the anger

and

> sadness but now I don't know. Maybe it's me?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>