SUCCESSES PLEASE

[Guest guest]

I would love to hear more " successes. " It will be inspirational to

hear how people use a particular coping tool (or combination of

tools) to overcome a tough situation.

And in that vein -- here is the success story of my YESTERDAY in the

form of a letter I wrote to of thanks:

***************************************

,

I sit here typing and marveling at what has occurred today. It was

such a powerful day that I don't even know if I can give its

description justice.

First, let me start by saying I have been on a " diet " since I was

six. And 5 years ago, at 243 pounds, I had what I like to call

a " blammo " moment -- one I thought would last forever. But what I

didn't realize then was that I was white-knuckling the entire two

years over which I lost 83 pounds and went from a size 22 to an 8-10.

A job change, a finding of a husband and then marrying him, a

starting of my own business and well, I'm sure you can imagine, the

white-knuckling could not be sustained and 56 of those 83 pounds came

back on. Ouch.

And I have been desperately seeking a way to re-tap the motivation

that helped me lose the 83 pounds in the first place, but I have been

overwhelmed with limiting beliefs because I believed that if I

couldn't return to that " white-knuckled, militant discipline " then I

couldn't be successful.

But, as I'm sure you can understand, I wasn't having much success

trying to do it that way again. In fact, each time I tried, I gained

2-3 pounds.

So, still seeking some type of REAL motivation, I typed in " weight

loss motivation " in Itunes and you popped up. Funny thing is, I only

picked your podcasts, because they were around 30 minutes, which I

knew I could combine with a walk with my dog each day -- good for

both of us -- as a " bonus " to the rest of my workout plans. And so I

started listening. And now I am hooked. I'm on #21 right now. I find

myself wanting to go back to review them all again -- but every time

I'm done with one, I just can't wait to get to the next one. The

learning seems to be cumulative.

But back to today . . .

It started today when I woke up at around an 8-9 in hunger (giving

the hunger a number has helped me immensely -- IMMENSELY -- it's

probably the single most powerful tip that I've learned so far,

amongst many powerful tips). Now it was much later than I normally

get up, so it makes sense I woke up hungrier. So I cooked my typical

breakfast of 3/4 cup egg whites, 1 oz. light cheddar, some chopped

veggies, whole grain English muffin with 1/2 tablespoon of butter --

about 300 cals total. And I ate it, and I was still at about a 6

when I was done -- I had eaten fast and without much focus on eating.

But I employed one of your techniques and did something else while I

gave my BODY time to catch up to being full -- when my mind and mouth

still thought I was hungry. And of course, 30 minutes later, with my

bed sheets stripped and the laundry gurgling happily away (which gave

me a great feeling of satisfaction), my hunger was at a 0-1.

Fast forward to mid-day. I knew I was going to run some errands and

had a plan to partake of a " treat " while perusing books at a favorite

bookstore and coffee shop. I knew I could put this into my caloric

plan -- which I am following while learning to become naturally

slender (oh the freedom you gave me when you said " yes, you can

follow a calorie plan and STILL learn to become naturally slender " --

I had been part of a support group online who were militant in trying

to teach that if you want to become naturally thin, you must eschew

any type of " calorie counting " -- which wasn't working for me). And

I wanted to because I had been semi-craving " something sweet " for a

few days, but only wanted to have something that I would find REALLY

enjoyable -- rather than some poor substitute - and my favorite

coffee shop carries a cookie I really enjoy. And I kind of wanted to

test whether I would be able to keep this " treat " occasion

reasonable. I wanted to observe how MUCH of the cookie I would eat

(it's a big cookie) and see if I could stop when satisfied. More on

that to come

So I go out and run my errands. But the errands aren't going very

well -- traffic seems to be working against me, I can't return

something at one store, so I have to go to another store, it seems

that the only drivers on the road are the really bad ones, and so on

and so on and so on. So I and find myself, around 4:30, thinking I'm

back at about a 7 in hunger (I did have a light lunch, so 7 didn't

really make sense). And I don't want to eat a meal, because I have

healthy dinner plans with my hubby for the evening. But I thought to

myself " are you really at a 7 or is it because you're driving,

running errands, frustrated that your errands aren't going the way

you planned, etc.? Try going to one of your errands with the thought

that you'll find exactly what you need with no drama and see if the 7

feeling of hunger goes away. "

So off I went to my next errand (employing the techniques you

describe in your story about good parking karma)telling myself that I

would easily find exactly what I was looking for AND I would do

something FUN and look at a few dresses and/or jeans because I need

another pair of jeans for the winter and a dress for holiday parties.

But if I didn't, that would be okay too.

And it worked. Not only did the " 7 " hunger feeling go away (by the

way, 7 is what I've determined is my 'pre-danger' zone that if I let

it get to an 8-10 -- I'm in serious danger of bingeing), but I found

the item I needed, evaluated the jeans and dress situation and

satisfied myself that there are plenty of beautiful pieces to choose

from, so I'll wait a few weeks to see what progress I've made before

purchasing a new dress or the jeans, and realized " oh my goodness,

I'm at about a 3 or 4 -- still a bit hungry, but certainly not

ravenous. My " treat " may just satisfy that hunger.

So off I went to the bookstore.

And when I got there -- there was an even MORE powerful opportunity

for me to employ some of your teachings and achieve a new success.

You see, they had the " treat " I'd been craving. But they also had

something special for Christmas that is about 1/3 the size of the

cookie -- but in a flavor I LOVE (okay -- it was a mini red-velvet

cupcake with cream cheese frosting). Normally, this would be a mine

field for me -- having to choose, wanting my beloved cookie while

realizing this special " Christmas " flavor might be GONE the next time

I came in, looking at the great BIG cookie which I KNOW I love,

looking at the tiny little POTENTIALLY good Christmas treat -- you

can see the CRAZY SPIRAL I was heading into. And then I LITERALLY hit

the brakes in my mind -- I pictured myself slamming on brakes and

said (in my head) STOP!!! And then I said to myself " , what do

you really want. If you feel like you're going to like the Red Velvet

cupcake TODAY better, then have it. But if you find you DON'T like

it, then feel free to toss it, and then buy the cookie. There is no

deprivation. There is no " bad " decision. There is freedom to choose.

Let GO of the feeling of right or wrong and seek PLEASURE and give

yourself permission to have that pleasure in TWO forms if you must,

but stop arguing with yourself about it because you're only

perpetuating a negative perception of food and we're not going to do

that anymore, remember? "

So, I bought the red velvet cupcake. The TINY red velvet cupcake that

I HAD thought " no way will this satisfy. " But I ate it with delight

and pleasure and without " guilt " or self-loathing and you know what --

it was the best three bites of a treat that I think I've ever had

and not only that -- it completely satisfied my three day " I'm

wanting something really rich and decadent " craving. I mean REALLY

satisfied it. Which (as I sit here six hours later typing) seems

impossible, but the craving is completely gone because it is

SATISFIED.

But wait -- there's more!!! ( -- I think you may be the Ginsu

knife of motivation, you just keep adding on to the features and

benefits -- you slice, you dice, you even make julienne fries out of

self-defeating behavior!!!).

So then I do some more errands. It's about two hours later, and I'm

in Target picking up a few items we need for dinner. And I realize my

husband (a naturally thin person, God bless him), is out of his

favorite after dinner item -- Chips Ahoy. Now as treats go, Chips

Ahoy are NOT on my list of favorite things. I really don't love

sweets, much less processed, faux-flavored kiddie cookies, so they're

not usually a problem for me, I can partake in moderation. But ever

since my husband started bringing these home, I have " craved " them

not because I want or like them for their taste, but because I resent

the fact that he can eat a half bag of them one night, then LEAVE

THEM ALONE for weeks. And that he does it with no guilt and that he

doesn't gain weight when he does so (because he eats so little,

another story, another day). And whenever he gets them out to eat, I

find myself wanting them not because I actually enjoy them, but

because I am so food-envious because I always have felt food-

deprived. Sick, right? But I know he loves them, and he mentioned we

were out last night, so I put them in the cart hoping I am going to

be able to get over my Chips-ahoy envy.

I come home to make dinner and am back at around a hunger level of 5

or 6 -- which would normally mean I would make myself a " snack " to

tide me over AS I PREPARE DINNER (oh who am I kidding, I ALWAYS have

a snack WHILE I prepare dinner). But I remember your talking about

having a feeling of peace and calm as you cook, of enjoying a bit

of " discomfort. " And guess what . . . I have a snack anyway (bet you

thought I was going to say I avoided the snack, right?). Yep, I kind

of mis-step. Even while thinking all the right things, I just

mindlessly break out that WASA bread and top it with some ricotta and

CRUNCH!!! Mmmm. Mmm . . .

. . .Oops.

But then I think " okay, I can self-correct with this pretty easily.

I'll up the salad portion of my dinner and cut the healthy " wrap "

portion in half and then, if I'm still hungry, I'll eat the whole

thing, but let's see what happens. And that works. I focus as I eat.

I enjoy every crispy, crunchy bite of my salad and the little bits of

flavor. I eat half of my whole-grain, chicken/peppers/onions salsa

wrap that I cooked myself, while my husband DOWNS his. And I am, at

the end of the meal COMPLETELY SATISFIED. And my husband saw me leave

food on my plate -- a rare sight as a card-carrying member of the

clean plate club.

So --dinner over, I head off to do some pleasure reading. I'm sitting

in our living room, giggling and snorting at one of my favorite humor

authors. I'm enjoying an after-dinner cup of coffee and, when my

husband breaks out the Chips Ahoy -- I HAVE NO COOKIE ENVY.

Seriously, none. And it floors me. I can hardly believe it. I don't

want to RUN to him and scream " NOOOO, how can you eat those without

my having six or seven of them too, It's not fair, it's not fair,

it's not fair. " And that is a HUGE victory.

And truly -- the lack of cookie envy is what prompted me to write

this -- but when I looked back over the course of today, I see how

many of the techniques you've taught me I employed and how SUCCESSFUL

I was when I did and am GOBSMACKED!

So, thank you. I'm now going to write in my success journal and think

about what fun life, living, being a successful business woman,

pursuing my dreams and learning to be naturally slender will bring me

tomorrow!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

5'10 "

Red-headed, high-heeled, stylish BOMBSHELL of a woman.

Smart, savvy and driven businesswoman

A terrific wife and dog-mom!

Start: 216.5

Current: 206!!!

GOALS: (which I claim, but then release and accept myself as I am

right now)

Short term goal: 190 by December 25th

Long-term goal: 170 by June, 2009

Very long-term goal: 155 by September 3, 2009 (my 41st birthday)

PERMANENT GOAL: Sustainable, NATURAL slenderness!

(P.S, -- I apologize for the OVER ENTHUSIASTIC SHOUTING CAPS -- but I

just can't help it, I'm thrilled!).