This is going to be a woe is me so please bear with me :-)

[Guest guest]

I am so depressed I feel I am at a crossroads. Am battling couple of

chronic pain issues and I believe that the meds I have been on are

making it harder to lose weight (if not impossible). I have a son

with autism which I have accepted in my heart and love him to bits

but that doesn't help so much when the school calls with all these

bad things to say about him, etc.

I feel like I take so many prescription drugs (anti-

depressants/thyroid/migraine/pain) that I am just messed up so how

could I ever get my system cleaned out enough to start losing weight?

Whenever in the past I felt this depressed I cling to some sort of

structure be it Weight Watchers or some other structured program but

in my heart I really don't believe in these " externally-focussed "

programs where you are TOLD to eat such and such.

Does anyone else here feel like you could write a nutirition textbook

for a college level course?

So it doesn't take a specialist to see that I have events in my life

as well as natural tendencies (towards deopression and exiety, etc)

that keep pulling me back to either these extreme methods of weight

loss that never stick or just chronic depression. And yes I suppose

I could increase my antidepressants, but maybe this is something that

I should just feel through this time?

Ok I admit this is a strange post so y'all can do the internet

equivalent of smiling and nodding if you would like. Maybe what I am

asking is are there people out there who normally don't feel

victimized by life but due to a series of events, are just in so

mauch pain about all this? And here is the zinger, is the weight the

sympton or the cause?

Ha! There's some deep thoughts for a Sunday (bleak, dark, just like

in the Twilight books) morning from Washington state...

Love you and thank you so much for listening.

[Guest guest]

It sounds like you are going through a really tough time, and I am not sure that

there is anything I can say that would help... It makes me think though, that

when things are that hard, and overwhelming that you need to make taking care of

yourself top priority, try to be nice to yourself, and take things one thing at

a time. Things have a way of working themselves out, it just never feels that

way in the heat of the moment. Dont let the people from school get you down

about your son, maybe when they call with negative input you could ask them so

what do you suggest? or try to get them to offer a solution to whatever it is

they are saying is bad. Anyhow, I am sorry that you are feeling so down, try to

just hang in there, and take care of yourself! Marguerite

________________________________

To: insideoutweightloss

Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2008 8:33:50 AM

Subject: This is going to be a " woe is me " so please bear

with me :-)

I am so depressed I feel I am at a crossroads. Am battling couple of

chronic pain issues and I believe that the meds I have been on are

making it harder to lose weight (if not impossible). I have a son

with autism which I have accepted in my heart and love him to bits

but that doesn't help so much when the school calls with all these

bad things to say about him, etc.

I feel like I take so many prescription drugs (anti-

depressants/ thyroid/migraine /pain) that I am just messed up so how

could I ever get my system cleaned out enough to start losing weight?

Whenever in the past I felt this depressed I cling to some sort of

structure be it Weight Watchers or some other structured program but

in my heart I really don't believe in these " externally- focussed "

programs where you are TOLD to eat such and such.

Does anyone else here feel like you could write a nutirition textbook

for a college level course?

So it doesn't take a specialist to see that I have events in my life

as well as natural tendencies (towards deopression and exiety, etc)

that keep pulling me back to either these extreme methods of weight

loss that never stick or just chronic depression. And yes I suppose

I could increase my antidepressants, but maybe this is something that

I should just feel through this time?

Ok I admit this is a strange post so y'all can do the internet

equivalent of smiling and nodding if you would like. Maybe what I am

asking is are there people out there who normally don't feel

victimized by life but due to a series of events, are just in so

mauch pain about all this? And here is the zinger, is the weight the

sympton or the cause?

Ha! There's some deep thoughts for a Sunday (bleak, dark, just like

in the Twilight books) morning from Washington state...

Love you and thank you so much for listening.

[Guest guest]

Thank you Marguerite your message cheered me up quite a bit. I spent the

Thanksgiving weekend with my parents (not something I do very often) and

it's so interesting to look back at your " first family " and see where you

develop these habits of not taking care of ourselves. It is so true that

whenever I get this way I need to take it back to basics and if that means I

need to bail on my family for a day and go to a spa or go to work (yes, I

actually enjoy my job that much how whack is that) or anything that I feel

is replenishing I need to do it. I have a supportive husband but I am guess

there are a lot of us who have that ghost of a voice in our heads that " we

aren't taking care of our families, we aren't spending quality time with our

kids/cats/housework/dogs/bills or whatever we feel we should be doing if we

take time for ourselves. Dang it! It want to be a spoiled brat who has no

problem doing that!

So maybe that's my new mantra! I'm going to practice being a spoiled brat

for a change!

Thanks again Marguerite and everyone else on this list!

From: insideoutweightloss

[mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of Marguerite C.

Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2008 9:55 AM

To: insideoutweightloss

Subject: Re: This is going to be a " woe is me " so

please bear with me :-)

It sounds like you are going through a really tough time, and I am not sure

that there is anything I can say that would help... It makes me think

though, that when things are that hard, and overwhelming that you need to

make taking care of yourself top priority, try to be nice to yourself, and

take things one thing at a time. Things have a way of working themselves

out, it just never feels that way in the heat of the moment. Dont let the

people from school get you down about your son, maybe when they call with

negative input you could ask them so what do you suggest? or try to get them

to offer a solution to whatever it is they are saying is bad. Anyhow, I am

sorry that you are feeling so down, try to just hang in there, and take care

of yourself! Marguerite

________________________________

From: susanru_susanru <susanru@... <mailto:susanru%40comcast.net> >

To: insideoutweightloss

<mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com>

Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2008 8:33:50 AM

Subject: This is going to be a " woe is me " so please

bear with me :-)

I am so depressed I feel I am at a crossroads. Am battling couple of

chronic pain issues and I believe that the meds I have been on are

making it harder to lose weight (if not impossible). I have a son

with autism which I have accepted in my heart and love him to bits

but that doesn't help so much when the school calls with all these

bad things to say about him, etc.

I feel like I take so many prescription drugs (anti-

depressants/ thyroid/migraine /pain) that I am just messed up so how

could I ever get my system cleaned out enough to start losing weight?

Whenever in the past I felt this depressed I cling to some sort of

structure be it Weight Watchers or some other structured program but

in my heart I really don't believe in these " externally- focussed "

programs where you are TOLD to eat such and such.

Does anyone else here feel like you could write a nutirition textbook

for a college level course?

So it doesn't take a specialist to see that I have events in my life

as well as natural tendencies (towards deopression and exiety, etc)

that keep pulling me back to either these extreme methods of weight

loss that never stick or just chronic depression. And yes I suppose

I could increase my antidepressants, but maybe this is something that

I should just feel through this time?

Ok I admit this is a strange post so y'all can do the internet

equivalent of smiling and nodding if you would like. Maybe what I am

asking is are there people out there who normally don't feel

victimized by life but due to a series of events, are just in so

mauch pain about all this? And here is the zinger, is the weight the

sympton or the cause?

Ha! There's some deep thoughts for a Sunday (bleak, dark, just like

in the Twilight books) morning from Washington state...

Love you and thank you so much for listening.

[Guest guest]

--

A good " woe is me post " is often JUST what the Dr. orders. Remember,

says we have to identify our limiting beliefs, our concerns,

our fears, our inner critic before we can release them.

And you have done a great job of doing that so " YAY " (see - even " woe

is me " can be a GOOD thing in getting you to inside out weight

loss!).

To directly answer ONE of your questions -- I so GET what you say

about being able to write a book about nutrition. If were about

KNOWLEDGE about " what to do to lose weight " , I'd never be anything

but a size 8 with a slammin' body. I know about caloric burn,

metabolism boosters, superfoods, how to estimate calories in my head,

how to balance fats/carbs and proteins in my head, how to build

muscle to burn more fat, how to use cardio effectively, how " muscle

confusion " is the key to making sure you never plateau, how important

stretching is, etc. And those are all GREAT TOOLS. But they don't

work unless you have GIVEN YOURSELF PERMISSION and BUILT THE CAPACITY

to use them (I write in caps for emphasis – but I do want to SHOUT

that from the rooftops).

Add to that you seem to be really insightful. Now, in many people

that is a good thing, but really sensitive insightful people tend to

do what, until now, I've always done. I become so overwhelmed by the

tools, so caught up in " what is the best " thing for me to do, so

desiring of " the perfect plan " – that it PARALYZES me from acting. Do

you ever feel that way?

But that paralysis is why I have found a few things teaches so

very valuable. I'm paraphrasing her in a way that relates to me, but

those things are:

1. Self-correction enables you to get past " perfection. " I can make

the perfect plan, but when I go off it, I can immediately " self-

correct " and realize that my " perfect plan " is still in place because

self-correcting is PART of that plan. This keeps me from giving up.

2. Turning limiting beliefs around. I spend much time working on

turning my limiting beliefs around. I know that I have (and this is

my personal experience – your doctor and you know what works for you)

weaned myself off anti depressant meds before with top notch fitness –

healthy diet and exercise. But I never thought I could have

permanent fitness like that, so I've always said " well, I can use

anti-depressants when I need them. " And again – your depression may

be far different from mine, but I have eliminated a limiting belief

and TRULY believe that I can achieve a level of permanent fitness

that will enable me to stay off anti-depressants for life. Now there

are days I have to focus on the positive and not let that limiting

belief creep in, but that's what I work on as much as, if not MORE

than, the diet and exercise. The diet and exercise naturally fall

into place when the limiting belief is not " chattering " in my head.

3. The victimizing thing is hard. I'm still working on forgiving a

family member who really hurt me. But I try and focus on the fact

that this situation is less than maybe 10% of who I am. 90% of me is

blessed with warm friends, talents that I am turning into businesses,

a husband who loves me and more. So I have simply put that 10% into a

compartment and when I take it out and work on it in my head, I try

and give it credibility, but then say " I'm going to put this issue

away until another day when I can manage it better. " Granted – your

issues may be much larger than 10%, but if they are less than 50%,

then you're ahead of the game. Try making a list of concerns and a

list of blessings and try and get the blessings lists ahead of the

concerns list and focus on increasing that list every day.(and having

just read your reply -- it sounds like you can get to WAY over 50% --

woo hoo!)

I'm babbling a bit – but sometimes the emotional/mental/self-

spiritual stuff comes out that way and if just a PIECE of this speaks

to you, then maybe I'm helping!

Ang

Check out my blog: http://www.IOFitWithAng.blogspot.com/

>

> Thank you Marguerite your message cheered me up quite a bit. I

spent the

> Thanksgiving weekend with my parents (not something I do very

often) and

> it's so interesting to look back at your " first family " and see

where you

> develop these habits of not taking care of ourselves. It is so

true that

> whenever I get this way I need to take it back to basics and if

that means I

> need to bail on my family for a day and go to a spa or go to work

(yes, I

> actually enjoy my job that much how whack is that) or anything that

I feel

> is replenishing I need to do it. I have a supportive husband but I

am guess

> there are a lot of us who have that ghost of a voice in our heads

that " we

> aren't taking care of our families, we aren't spending quality time

with our

> kids/cats/housework/dogs/bills or whatever we feel we should be

doing if we

> take time for ourselves. Dang it! It want to be a spoiled brat

who has no

> problem doing that!

>

>

>

> So maybe that's my new mantra! I'm going to practice being a

spoiled brat

> for a change!

>

>

>

> Thanks again Marguerite and everyone else on this list!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> From: insideoutweightloss

> [mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of

Marguerite C.

>

> Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2008 9:55 AM

> To: insideoutweightloss

> Subject: Re: This is going to be a " woe is

me " so

> please bear with me :-)

>

>

>

> It sounds like you are going through a really tough time, and I am

not sure

> that there is anything I can say that would help... It makes me

think

> though, that when things are that hard, and overwhelming that you

need to

> make taking care of yourself top priority, try to be nice to

yourself, and

> take things one thing at a time. Things have a way of working

themselves

> out, it just never feels that way in the heat of the moment. Dont

let the

> people from school get you down about your son, maybe when they

call with

> negative input you could ask them so what do you suggest? or try to

get them

> to offer a solution to whatever it is they are saying is bad.

Anyhow, I am

> sorry that you are feeling so down, try to just hang in there, and

take care

> of yourself! Marguerite

>

> ________________________________

> From: susanru_susanru <susanru@... <mailto:susanru%40comcast.net> >

> To: insideoutweightloss

> <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com>

> Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2008 8:33:50 AM

> Subject: This is going to be a " woe is me " so

please

> bear with me :-)

>

> I am so depressed I feel I am at a crossroads. Am battling couple

of

> chronic pain issues and I believe that the meds I have been on are

> making it harder to lose weight (if not impossible). I have a son

> with autism which I have accepted in my heart and love him to bits

> but that doesn't help so much when the school calls with all these

> bad things to say about him, etc.

>

> I feel like I take so many prescription drugs (anti-

> depressants/ thyroid/migraine /pain) that I am just messed up so

how

> could I ever get my system cleaned out enough to start losing

weight?

>

> Whenever in the past I felt this depressed I cling to some sort of

> structure be it Weight Watchers or some other structured program

but

> in my heart I really don't believe in these " externally- focussed "

> programs where you are TOLD to eat such and such.

>

> Does anyone else here feel like you could write a nutirition

textbook

> for a college level course?

>

> So it doesn't take a specialist to see that I have events in my

life

> as well as natural tendencies (towards deopression and exiety, etc)

> that keep pulling me back to either these extreme methods of weight

> loss that never stick or just chronic depression. And yes I suppose

> I could increase my antidepressants, but maybe this is something

that

> I should just feel through this time?

>

> Ok I admit this is a strange post so y'all can do the internet

> equivalent of smiling and nodding if you would like. Maybe what I

am

> asking is are there people out there who normally don't feel

> victimized by life but due to a series of events, are just in so

> mauch pain about all this? And here is the zinger, is the weight

the

> sympton or the cause?

>

> Ha! There's some deep thoughts for a Sunday (bleak, dark, just like

> in the Twilight books) morning from Washington state...

>

> Love you and thank you so much for listening.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

ru,

Girl, I know how you feel! I also have a son with autism (he's turning five this

week,

officially diagnosed PDD-NOS) and I've spent the last two years completely

engrossed and

focused on helping him leave his little world and come fully into ours using

therapy, diet

and all sorts of other things. And I too feel a bit down if the school calls and

he's not

behaving or making progress like he should simply because I've worked so hard

and given

up so much of myself. I've come to realize that with autism it is what it is,

but complete

recovery isn't impossible. There was a time I thought he'd never talk or be

potty trained,

but he does those things today. I've found picking the brains of other parents

of autistic

kids to be extremely helpful in finding tips, tricks, techniques and treatments

that help

with difficult behavior. Are you a part of a autism support group? They are

really great, I

must say. It helps to realize you're not alone in all this. Keep the faith,

chica! In time, the

behaviors in your child will cease and you'll realize that all things are

possible with your

child if you believe in them and believe in their recovery and keep forging

ahead until your

dream for them is realized.

I also know what it's like to put your own needs on the back burner in favor of

the needs

of others. I've been doing that, and only now, since finding the IOWL podcasts,

have I

realized just how much of myself I've lost in doing this. I'm not the spunky,

trendy, effervescent person I used to be, and that's my fault for swallowing the

fallacy that it's

best to put the needs of others above my own. Through 's insight, I've

realized that I

am just as important, no, MORE important than the people I love most, because I,

just like

them, I am a child of a loving universe, and if I don't take care of myself, I

not only won't

enjoy my life and do the things I've always dreamed, but I won't be healthy

enough to be

there for my hubby and son like I want to be and should be. I'm slowly beginning

to take

time for myself, treat myself and focus on myself more and more. Trust me,

you're not

being a brat if you do. You're just honoring the wonderful being that you are!

Keep your

chin up and start being the change you want to see in your life. You will

succeed!

Cyra xx

In insideoutweightloss , " susanru_susanru " wrote:

>

> I am so depressed I feel I am at a crossroads. Am battling couple of

> chronic pain issues and I believe that the meds I have been on are

> making it harder to lose weight (if not impossible). I have a son

> with autism which I have accepted in my heart and love him to bits

> but that doesn't help so much when the school calls with all these

> bad things to say about him, etc.

>

> I feel like I take so many prescription drugs (anti-

> depressants/thyroid/migraine/pain) that I am just messed up so how

> could I ever get my system cleaned out enough to start losing weight?

>

> Whenever in the past I felt this depressed I cling to some sort of

> structure be it Weight Watchers or some other structured program but

> in my heart I really don't believe in these " externally-focussed "

> programs where you are TOLD to eat such and such.

>

> Does anyone else here feel like you could write a nutirition textbook

> for a college level course?

>

> So it doesn't take a specialist to see that I have events in my life

> as well as natural tendencies (towards deopression and exiety, etc)

> that keep pulling me back to either these extreme methods of weight

> loss that never stick or just chronic depression. And yes I suppose

> I could increase my antidepressants, but maybe this is something that

> I should just feel through this time?

>

> Ok I admit this is a strange post so y'all can do the internet

> equivalent of smiling and nodding if you would like. Maybe what I am

> asking is are there people out there who normally don't feel

> victimized by life but due to a series of events, are just in so

> mauch pain about all this? And here is the zinger, is the weight the

> sympton or the cause?

>

> Ha! There's some deep thoughts for a Sunday (bleak, dark, just like

> in the Twilight books) morning from Washington state...

>

> Love you and thank you so much for listening.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Ang I loved your post you really hit the nail on the head! I am a ver

sensititive person so I think I can get caught up in what I call " analysis

paralysis " . I do need to use the self-correct thing much more.

I am noticing more and more how tired I am at certain points of the day and am

trying to use nutrition as a way of hopefully fixing that. I know sugar

ultimately makes you tired but I'm also not the sort of person to whip out a

cucumber to snack on.

You are very right about the listing of blessing and concerns. I sort of had a

big aha moment when today I moaning to myself about how irreparably changed I

feel by my experience with raising my children, one with special needs. And

then a voice popped into my head that said " wait, why am I assuming that all of

the changes that have occurred to be have been bad?!?1/ I am a much warmer,

sensitive, more caring person than I ever was before I had kids. The lessons

learned are immeasurable.

So I guess that's the benefit of a little perspective! Thanks you guys! I'm

looking ofward to being able to support you in your time of need too!

--------- This is going to be a " woe is me " so

please

> bear with me :-)

>

> I am so depressed I feel I am at a crossroads. Am battling couple

of

> chronic pain issues and I believe that the meds I have been on are

> making it harder to lose weight (if not impossible). I have a son

> with autism which I have accepted in my heart and love him to bits

> but that doesn't help so much when the school calls with all these

> bad things to say about him, etc.

>

> I feel like I take so many prescription drugs (anti-

> depressants/ thyroid/migraine /pain) that I am just messed up so

how

> could I ever get my system cleaned out enough to start losing

weight?

>

> Whenever in the past I felt this depressed I cling to some sort of

> structure be it Weight Watchers or some other structured program

but

> in my heart I really don't believe in these " externally- focussed "

> programs where you are TOLD to eat such and such.

>

> Does anyone else here feel like you could write a nutirition

textbook

> for a college level course?

>

> So it doesn't take a specialist to see that I have events in my

life

> as well as natural tendencies (towards deopression and exiety, etc)

> that keep pulling me back to either these extreme methods of weight

> loss that never stick or just chronic depression. And yes I suppose

> I could increase my antidepressants, but maybe this is something

that

> I should just feel through this time?

>

> Ok I admit this is a strange post so y'all can do the internet

> equivalent of smiling and nodding if you would like. Maybe what I

am

> asking is are there people out there who normally don't feel

> victimized by life but due to a series of events, are just in so

> mauch pain about all this? And here is the zinger, is the weight

the

> sympton or the cause?

>

> Ha! There's some deep thoughts for a Sunday (bleak, dark, just like

> in the Twilight books) morning from Washington state...

>

> Love you and thank you so much for listening.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

--

I just saw this and it made my evening! It's odd to realize how (and

talks about this) GOOD helping someone can make you feel and

put you on the right track when you're just about to falter. You

saved me a bit tonight, so I thank you BACK -- bunches!!!

Take care,

Ang

> >

> > Thank you Marguerite your message cheered me up quite a bit. I

> spent the

> > Thanksgiving weekend with my parents (not something I do very

> often) and

> > it's so interesting to look back at your " first family " and see

> where you

> > develop these habits of not taking care of ourselves. It is so

> true that

> > whenever I get this way I need to take it back to basics and if

> that means I

> > need to bail on my family for a day and go to a spa or go to work

> (yes, I

> > actually enjoy my job that much how whack is that) or anything

that

> I feel

> > is replenishing I need to do it. I have a supportive husband but

I

> am guess

> > there are a lot of us who have that ghost of a voice in our heads

> that " we

> > aren't taking care of our families, we aren't spending quality

time

> with our

> > kids/cats/housework/dogs/bills or whatever we feel we should be

> doing if we

> > take time for ourselves. Dang it! It want to be a spoiled brat

> who has no

> > problem doing that!

> >

> >

> >

> > So maybe that's my new mantra! I'm going to practice being a

> spoiled brat

> > for a change!

> >

> >

> >

> > Thanks again Marguerite and everyone else on this list!

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > From: insideoutweightloss

> > [mailto:insideoutweightloss ] On Behalf Of

> Marguerite C.

> >

> > Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2008 9:55 AM

> > To: insideoutweightloss

> > Subject: Re: This is going to be a " woe is

> me " so

> > please bear with me :-)

> >

> >

> >

> > It sounds like you are going through a really tough time, and I

am

> not sure

> > that there is anything I can say that would help... It makes me

> think

> > though, that when things are that hard, and overwhelming that you

> need to

> > make taking care of yourself top priority, try to be nice to

> yourself, and

> > take things one thing at a time. Things have a way of working

> themselves

> > out, it just never feels that way in the heat of the moment. Dont

> let the

> > people from school get you down about your son, maybe when they

> call with

> > negative input you could ask them so what do you suggest? or try

to

> get them

> > to offer a solution to whatever it is they are saying is bad.

> Anyhow, I am

> > sorry that you are feeling so down, try to just hang in there,

and

> take care

> > of yourself! Marguerite

> >

> > ________________________________

> > From: susanru_susanru <susanru@ <mailto:susanru%40comcast.net> >

> > To: insideoutweightloss

> > <mailto:insideoutweightloss%40yahoogroups.com>

> > Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2008 8:33:50 AM

> > Subject: This is going to be a " woe is me "

so

> please

> > bear with me :-)

> >

> > I am so depressed I feel I am at a crossroads. Am battling couple

> of

> > chronic pain issues and I believe that the meds I have been on

are

> > making it harder to lose weight (if not impossible). I have a son

> > with autism which I have accepted in my heart and love him to

bits

> > but that doesn't help so much when the school calls with all

these

> > bad things to say about him, etc.

> >

> > I feel like I take so many prescription drugs (anti-

> > depressants/ thyroid/migraine /pain) that I am just messed up so

> how

> > could I ever get my system cleaned out enough to start losing

> weight?

> >

> > Whenever in the past I felt this depressed I cling to some sort

of

> > structure be it Weight Watchers or some other structured program

> but

> > in my heart I really don't believe in these " externally-

focussed "

> > programs where you are TOLD to eat such and such.

> >

> > Does anyone else here feel like you could write a nutirition

> textbook

> > for a college level course?

> >

> > So it doesn't take a specialist to see that I have events in my

> life

> > as well as natural tendencies (towards deopression and exiety,

etc)

> > that keep pulling me back to either these extreme methods of

weight

> > loss that never stick or just chronic depression. And yes I

suppose

> > I could increase my antidepressants, but maybe this is something

> that

> > I should just feel through this time?

> >

> > Ok I admit this is a strange post so y'all can do the internet

> > equivalent of smiling and nodding if you would like. Maybe what I

> am

> > asking is are there people out there who normally don't feel

> > victimized by life but due to a series of events, are just in so

> > mauch pain about all this? And here is the zinger, is the weight

> the

> > sympton or the cause?

> >

> > Ha! There's some deep thoughts for a Sunday (bleak, dark, just

like

> > in the Twilight books) morning from Washington state...

> >

> > Love you and thank you so much for listening.

> >

> >

> >