Re: Judy

[Guest guest]

Judy,

Is your daughter enjoying watching the Olympic gymnastics?

Dina

[Guest guest]

Hi Dina,

Now that she quit gymnastics,she seems to have no interest in it anymore. I

don't understand it, becasue she practically lived gymnastics for over 5 years!

 

How is your daughter doing Dina?

 

Hugs

Judy

[Guest guest]

Judy,

Is your daughter still doing well on the gluten free diet?

in TN

Subject: Re: Re: Experience with abilify and hospitalization

To:

Date: Wednesday, December 24, 2008, 2:00 PM

Hi Silvia,

My 7 yr old son is on Abilify with Luvox.  He has OCD and Bipolar , so we can't

go up on the Luvox unless we also go up on the Abilify. My experience is that if

you use the anti-psychotic alone, it will intensify the OCD. You must have an

SSRI with it.My son has been horrendous lately. He has gained weight and needs a

raise in the Abilify. He rages all day. He screams, spits, hits, etc, etc.He

doesn't listen to anything I say, and punishments and time outs are just not

effective. I'm hoping his doctor will raise the meds again, or he will have to

be hospitalized also. I haven't had him hospitalized yet, but my daughter (12)

has been there twice, and I know how hard it is.

With your son being 17, you really have to consider how dangerous he could

become if he is acting out. I think you did the right thing by hospitalizing

him.

Hang in there! It will get better!

We are all here if you need to talk.

Hugs

Judy

[Guest guest]

,

I can't imagine dealing with my mother on top of the holidays

and my DD's OCD/meltdowns. I don't care how " manipulative " my DD's

behavior looks to other people, I need to remind myself that if she

could control it she would. We are working with meds, a therapist,

nutritional supplements and this all takes time. We are all doing the

best we can do. I know, I am very resentful when she is in the midst

of a meltdown over the smallest of things and seems totally

unappreciative of the 24/7 effort I make to keep a calm household.

Afterwards I have to remind myself and mourn that we are not a

" normal " family and I have to accept that.

What works for us to minimize the duration of a meltdown

(doesn't yet prevent them..... will it ever??) is to give rewards for

the numerous times during the day when triggers don't result in

aggression. During a meltdown we just agree with the insane " logic "

of the reptilian, fight/flight brain that is driving her behavior.

FOR example: " Yes, next time when I hang up your wet bathing suit for

you, I will hang it upstairs not downstairs. " Afterwards, we charge

her for the bossiness. On a good day, she still has $$ credit because

she has less than 2 aggressions or less than 10 bossy's or some

combination. We also use chips to remind us all of the " near

triggers " that were averted for whatever reason. Or, her

acknowledging the mistake after the fact. She then can use the chips

to " payback for excessive bossiness which will result in a loss of

privilege if not paid back. She can also turn in her chips for 25

cents a chip. She definitely needs money to pay us back for the

damage she's caused this last year. One moment of rage cost her

$300.00 for ripping out my earring and throwing it into the lawn where

we have not been able to recover it. Surprisingly, she seems to want

to pay it back. I think she does feel bad afterwards and this gives

her back some of her dignity. I feel like an accountant keeping track

of all of this but I'm charting her aggression and it averages less

than 2/day now. Last spring it was 30/day and that was when she

needed hospitalization. After hospitalization it was still about 10/

day so I do think the meds plus this very structured behavioral

modification plan is helping. Perhaps some day we can look back and

laugh at the insanity of paying my DD $5.00/day for not hitting. It

may sound expensive but the damage she was doing was in the thousands

of dollars and inpatient hospitalization costs $1000.00/day. If this

is limiting these two things it's a great deal in the long run.

Dorelle

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much for responding. It is so helpful to talk to people who " get

it " . I think you're right about making sure he gets plenty of positive

reinforcement.

It is absolutely amazing how much calmer he was today once the anxiety over what

he would get for Christmas was resolved. He's like a different kid! If only he

could be that calm at school!! We do have an appointment with a

neuro-psychietrist in January. I'm hoping to get his meds adjusted and to get

an answer to a nagging question...why are his pupils dilated much of the time?

Anyone have any experience with that?

I'm thankful he is having a good day!

Walk by Faith

Tyler

________________________________

To:

Sent: Thursday, December 25, 2008 8:40:56 AM

Subject: Re: Judy

,

I can't imagine dealing with my mother on top of the holidays

and my DD's OCD/meltdowns. I don't care how " manipulative " my DD's

behavior looks to other people, I need to remind myself that if she

could control it she would. We are working with meds, a therapist,

nutritional supplements and this all takes time. We are all doing the

best we can do. I know, I am very resentful when she is in the midst

of a meltdown over the smallest of things and seems totally

unappreciative of the 24/7 effort I make to keep a calm household.

Afterwards I have to remind myself and mourn that we are not a

" normal " family and I have to accept that.

What works for us to minimize the duration of a meltdown

(doesn't yet prevent them..... will it ever??) is to give rewards for

the numerous times during the day when triggers don't result in

aggression. During a meltdown we just agree with the insane " logic "

of the reptilian, fight/flight brain that is driving her behavior.

FOR example: " Yes, next time when I hang up your wet bathing suit for

you, I will hang it upstairs not downstairs. " Afterwards, we charge

her for the bossiness. On a good day, she still has $$ credit because

she has less than 2 aggressions or less than 10 bossy's or some

combination. We also use chips to remind us all of the " near

triggers " that were averted for whatever reason. Or, her

acknowledging the mistake after the fact. She then can use the chips

to " payback for excessive bossiness which will result in a loss of

privilege if not paid back. She can also turn in her chips for 25

cents a chip. She definitely needs money to pay us back for the

damage she's caused this last year. One moment of rage cost her

$300.00 for ripping out my earring and throwing it into the lawn where

we have not been able to recover it. Surprisingly, she seems to want

to pay it back. I think she does feel bad afterwards and this gives

her back some of her dignity. I feel like an accountant keeping track

of all of this but I'm charting her aggression and it averages less

than 2/day now. Last spring it was 30/day and that was when she

needed hospitalization. After hospitalization it was still about 10/

day so I do think the meds plus this very structured behavioral

modification plan is helping. Perhaps some day we can look back and

laugh at the insanity of paying my DD $5.00/day for not hitting. It

may sound expensive but the damage she was doing was in the thousands

of dollars and inpatient hospitalization costs $1000.00/day. If this

is limiting these two things it's a great deal in the long run.

Dorelle

[Guest guest]

, we are here to support you, and so never worry about it sounding like

complaining.  I am so sorry that you have to deal with this while at the same

time having to feel the judgement of your mom all the time.  Have you explained

to her that you are quite aware that Josiah's behavior is not okay and that you

are getting professional help to deal with it?  Maybe if she knows that you are

doing something about it and are not okay with it, she might back off.  It does

sound like more than OCD because OCD should not cause a child to hit his mother.

 Have you tried setting strong limits?  As soon as he raged like that, I would

have a swift and effective punishment.  I would make him go to his room and

have no toys there.  If you need to drag him there, then do it.  Let him know

that he has to stay there until he can cool off and come out and apologize.

 Certainly, as soon as he lifted a hand to strike you, he needs to have a

consequence that will make him not want to do it again.  Dr. Phil talks about

finding the child's " currency " .  For my kids that would mean no " technology "

for a certain amount of time, i.e. no tv, computer, Nintendo, or Wii.  

I have a 9 year old daughter with OCD, and I don't get the kind of behavior that

you are talking about, so I do think that this kind of behavior is not because

of the OCD, but other issues.

Hang in there.  We are here for you!

Re: Re: Experience with abilify and hospitalization

To: @ yahoogroups. com

Date: Wednesday, December 24, 2008, 2:00 PM

Hi Silvia,

My 7 yr old son is on Abilify with Luvox. He has OCD and Bipolar , so we can't

go up on the Luvox unless we also go up on the Abilify. My experience is that if

you use the anti-psychotic alone, it will intensify the OCD. You must have an

SSRI with it.My son has been horrendous lately. He has gained weight and needs a

raise in the Abilify. He rages all day. He screams, spits, hits, etc, etc.He

doesn't listen to anything I say, and punishments and time outs are just not

effective. I'm hoping his doctor will raise the meds again, or he will have to

be hospitalized also. I haven't had him hospitalized yet, but my daughter (12)

has been there twice, and I know how hard it is.

With your son being

17, you really have to consider how dangerous he could become if he is acting

out. I think you did the right thing by hospitalizing him.

Hang in there! It will get better!

We are all here if you need to talk.

Hugs

Judy

[Guest guest]

Yes, I think Josiah's issues are exacerbated by the fact that I am paralyzed and

cannot physically drag him to time out etc. I am pretty creative though and

come up with other ways to handle it. I am wondering from the others of you

that have children that rage and become violent, is it generally ocd or

something else? Just wondering.

Walk by Faith

Tyler

________________________________

To:

Sent: Thursday, December 25, 2008 3:57:55 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Judy

, we are here to support you, and so never worry about it sounding like

complaining. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this while at the same

time having to feel the judgement of your mom all the time. Have you explained

to her that you are quite aware that Josiah's behavior is not okay and that you

are getting professional help to deal with it? Maybe if she knows that you are

doing something about it and are not okay with it, she might back off. It does

sound like more than OCD because OCD should not cause a child to hit his mother.

Have you tried setting strong limits? As soon as he raged like that, I would

have a swift and effective punishment. I would make him go to his room and have

no toys there. If you need to drag him there, then do it. Let him know that he

has to stay there until he can cool off and come out and apologize. Certainly,

as soon as he lifted a hand to strike you, he needs to have a consequence that

will make

him not want to do it again. Dr. Phil talks about finding the child's

" currency " . For my kids that would mean no " technology " for a certain amount of

time, i.e. no tv, computer, Nintendo, or Wii.

I have a 9 year old daughter with OCD, and I don't get the kind of behavior that

you are talking about, so I do think that this kind of behavior is not because

of the OCD, but other issues.

Hang in there. We are here for you!

Re: Re: Experience with abilify and hospitalization

To: @ yahoogroups. com

Date: Wednesday, December 24, 2008, 2:00 PM

Hi Silvia,

My 7 yr old son is on Abilify with Luvox. He has OCD and Bipolar , so we can't

go up on the Luvox unless we also go up on the Abilify. My experience is that if

you use the anti-psychotic alone, it will intensify the OCD. You must have an

SSRI with it.My son has been horrendous lately. He has gained weight and needs a

raise in the Abilify. He rages all day. He screams, spits, hits, etc, etc.He

doesn't listen to anything I say, and punishments and time outs are just not

effective. I'm hoping his doctor will raise the meds again, or he will have to

be hospitalized also. I haven't had him hospitalized yet, but my daughter (12)

has been there twice, and I know how hard it is.

With your son being

17, you really have to consider how dangerous he could become if he is acting

out. I think you did the right thing by hospitalizing him.

Hang in there! It will get better!

We are all here if you need to talk.

Hugs

Judy