Re: Need for constant reassurance outside of the home and s...

October 13, 2008

I so feel for you. We went through the exact same thing last year. My son

is currently in ERP. He is doing much better. He is exactly like your son

just younger. What helped for us, is that we had a meeting with his teachers

and told them his diagnoses. We were fearful that they would judge him. We

were completely wrong. They told us that they have worked with OCD kids in

the past. He is now a 504 plan. Our doctor also spoke to the teachers on how

to handle the reassurance questions. We always answer his question with a

question. For example : he would ask. Is this okay for me to eat? We

would ask him. Your old enough to decide Do you think it is? It made my son

mad

at first but he knows we will not answer him. He stopped asking. His

teachers did the same thing and it is working. I know it is hard to be honest

with people about OCD but I have never come across someone who reacted badly.

We only come across people who did not understand what OCD is. So we educate

them. We encourged my son to tell his best friend. He finally did and his

best friend said " Oh I was wondering why you did those things? " It totally

made there relationship better. My son is very secure in talking about it to

his friend now. The teens are hard to begin with. So with a year of ERP

under his belt he is doing so much better. The kids are not teasing him

anymore and are starting to except him in their group again. So this could

change

for your son as well. I wish you all the luck. I will say lots of prayers

for you son.

Lynn

In a message dated 10/13/2008 12:59:39 P.M. Central Daylight Time,

wjoltsik@... writes:

This message is for those of you who have OCD kids who seek constant

reassurance by asking repetitive questions. Specifically, do you know

if this questioning is 'brought' to their non-home environment as

well? Meaning, do they seek reassurances from their teachers,

friends, coaches or other people they are in contact with?

My 14 year old son has been losing friends lately, even those he

thought he was close to. His 'research' indicates that these kids

don't like him anymore because they find him annoying. One of the

reasons he has finally realized this may be is that he is constantly

asking them for reassurances thru repetitive questioning. ly, I

live it every day, and it IS completely annoying, but at least I

understand the source of why he does this. His friends don't. Last

year, he was constantly asking his teachers about his grades, and I

have overheard him repeatedly asking his baseball coaches what

position he will be playing next. One of his teachers had to talk

with him about it, and I think he stopped because he was embarrased.

He has lost his trust in friends, and claims he now wants to be a

loner. This is killing me because he is a great kid (one who was

incredibly socially savvy and popular a mere few years ago) with an

anxiety disorder. Ironically, the more his friends pull away from

him, the more he needs reassurances, and is even more annoying, and

probably odd, to them. He has lost his ability to 'get' what is

appropriate behavior in a social situation when he feels anxious.

Anyone have any insights or experiences with this? How to I help him

without meddling? I hate to see my child feeling so low and frankly

am worried about how he will handle this as the years go on. He is

just a freshman in high school when social interactions are so important.

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October 13, 2008

That's great that your son's friends have been so accepting!!

Re: Need for constant reassurance outside of the home

and s...