Re: Daily outlook on School and it's Teachers

[Guest guest]

This is still a work in progress for us, too. My son is now in 9th

grade, and has a similar situation which I think is slowly improving

as his OCD/GAD slowly improves. A combination of the right meds and

CBT is, as all the docs tell you, what is helping. For the first few

months of his freshman year at high school he struggled with no or

little outside social life. The kids were nice enough to him at

school, but he was never included (but always heard about) all the

activities and parties that went on each weekend. In addition, he was

lazy with his schoolwork which reflected in his grades. Always a good

student with a robust social life this took us all off guard and his

self esteem tanked. One thing that I did which also helps to some

degree, was to meet with his guidance counselor and explain my son's

specific situation. He was a kid who would fall thru the cracks

otherwise as he did not qualify for services since his grades were

good in the past. She was wonderful and met (and still meets) with

him regularly to make sure things are going OK. She gave me some

insight about my son's behaviour at school that she had personally

observed and even asked all his teachers how they thought he was doing

in class and got back to me with their feedback. This was important

information for me to help guide him and make suggestions (of course,

not always followed!). We are not out of the woods, but I have

noticed that he made a FaceBook page last week which means he is

willing to open himself up socially a bit more. He got over 150

'friends' in a week, which is not hard to do in FaceBook, but I think

raised his self-esteem a little. He is also, very slowly, starting to

get asked to do a few things with friends. Part of the problem, too

(and maybe this holds true in your case too?) is that when their self

esteem is low, they don't reach out to other kids as much, fearing

rejection. I always try to encourage him to take the initiative...

which sometimes is pushing a boulder uphill. I have also tried to get

him interested in some group or outside activity which he is not

willing to do at this time. Hope this helps you in

some way.

[Guest guest]

Hi Pam,

My son is now in 9th grade but had the same experience as your son in 7th grade.

He was

bullied all year and would come home crying almost everyday. This is about when

his OCD

started, although we didn't know about the OCD until 3 months ago.

For 8th grade we made sure he was in a class with one or two kids that were

nicer and the

year was better. One thing we did is get him in a basketball league that did

not have

anyone from his school on the team, just so he could be around other kids. We

lucked out

and the coach was great! He treated everyone on the team equally and was very

positive.

Anytime our son complained about how he was being treated at school, we always

brought

up " Coach Jim " as an example. Try to find some positive examples for your son.

Incidently, his grade school was a small, Catholic school, he is now at a

lagre public high

school. The transition was very difficult, due to OCD but he has said from the

begining of

the year how much nicer everyone is at high school. One of the kids that was

the meanest

in 7th grade is very nice to him now. I think jr high is just brutal!!

Socially things are still difficult for him. He doesn't like to just " hang out "

like everyone

else and the other kids pick up on that. There is so much they are dealing with

right now I

have finally realized it is just impossible for them to have the " normal " social

life. Which in

some ways is ok--keeps them out of trouble!! We just constantly try to keep

him active

and involved in some way. He is going to join the winter track team at school

which we

are very happy about!

By the way, this list has been a life saver for me!! It really helps to know

there are people

who know what you are going through!!! Thank you!!!