Guest guest Posted December 20, 2008 Report Share Posted December 20, 2008 Hi there, I remember you posting when you were pregnant and your daughter was not doing well and you wondered how you would cope with it all. I'm sorry you are experiencing post partum depression now, that is hard. I suspect your mood factors into this all bigtime. Give those meds time to work and then you will be able to think more clearly. Is your husband able to handle your daughter to give you a break, or a friend or relative? You need time and space to think, or to not think even. As someone else mentions get all the help you can at this time and make sure you are talking to people, not alone. I'm thinking given you just had your baby that this was the trigger for the OCD, change, feeling replaced maybe, all the normal fears that can come with a new sibling, but with the OCD attached to be obsessive. Plus, to get attention now, she may feel this is something to use, not necessarily consciously, or intending to be difficult, just a kid thing. Were you able to do ERP with her before? I gather she must have learned strategies from the Mayo docs. Do you have a workbook, or information that she worked on then? If so, could you bring these out again? Do you have any of the OCD kids books? Just thinking anything to remind her what she needs to do. If she was successful before, she will be again. As mentioned, if it's a seasonal thing medication can help, if it is severe and persists it may be time to look at this, if you have not already. Not sure if you tend to experience depression, or if this is the first time. Sometimes it is familial, may be the case with your daughter. I know it's hard not knowing how you will cope, or what to do. You need to give yourself some time, and let others, like your husband, take this on too. You need to look after yourself right now or you will be no good to anyone. When you are feeling better it will all seem more managable. Hang in there. You will find your answers, if not immediately, in time. You did before, and you will again. We are all here for you to support you through it. Keep posting and asking for what you need. I send you hugs! Barb > > I haven't posted on here much since my now seven year old daughter had > been doing so well with her OCD. For the last two years she's dealt > with OCD mostly with intrusive thoughts starting in the winter time > through late winter early spring. Then it literally seems to disappear. > > We just had a third child (a major unplanned suprise) last week. My > daughter was doing so well and it seemed there was no sign of OCD. Out > of nowhere about two days ago it was like it reappeared out of nowhere. > My daughter started saying and doing things that were unmistakably OCD. > > I am heartbroken and scared. I knew that it would show again but I > guess deep down you hope it won't. The thing I can't believe it it's > almost down to the exact day it started last year. I don't understand > what happens to her that it just comes and takes her over like this > about a week before Christmas. > > I'm really worried because where we live there are no doctors around > that have a clue about treating OCD or children with OCD. We had taken > her about 2 hours away last winter to Mayo Clinic where she saw a good > doctor and he really helped us all cope and get through it. The thing > is there's absolutely noway we can afford to go there this year. I > don't know what we're going to do. > > What does a person do when they can't afford the help their child > needs? It's so wrong that so many people have to go through this and > millions of other health issues with no way to get help for their > child. We were so relieved last year to have found a place that knew > what they were doing. Now to know they are there but out of our reach, > it's heartbreaking and scary. > > I'm also going through a bad case of post partum depression and that's > not helping. I'm just so sad. I'd forgotten how when the OCD comes my > daughter's whole demeanor changes, like she's not herself anymore. > Sometimes there will be moments when I see the real her but they are > few and far between. And this is just the beginning. > > Does anyone have any advice for me? I just don't know how I'm going to > handle this. I'm so depressed and worried that I can't imagine how I'm > going to be able to help her get through this. I am currently on meds > for depression and they were raised last week in hopes of helping. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2008 Report Share Posted December 20, 2008 I'm so sorry her OCD is back . . . it is just heartbreaking. I will be living on pins and needles for a month or two because our daughter's OCD also seems to have a " schedule " . Hers is the second week of September . . . within 10 days of returning to school after Christmas break. I am hopeful that we'll be able to prevent a repeat performance but sometimes it seems there is nothing to do. In your case I would cling to the hope that it's been bad before but it has also cleared up. Can you make a phone call to the clinic you visited before? Perhaps the doctors there would be willing to do a phone consult with you and, perhaps, your daughter? Have you read through, " What to do When Your Brain Gets Stuck " with her? Maybe it's time to do that . . . or re-visit it. If she's a good reader you may want to leave it out where she can look at it when she needs to. Kate does not like to be told that it's her OCD that's bothering her but she does refer to her books when she thinks we're not looking! I hope your family finds some relief soon and that you're depression lifts. The two situations at the same time must be devastating for the whole family! Beth It's here again! I haven't posted on here much since my now seven year old daughter had been doing so well with her OCD. For the last two years she's dealt with OCD mostly with intrusive thoughts starting in the winter time through late winter early spring. Then it literally seems to disappear. We just had a third child (a major unplanned suprise) last week. My daughter was doing so well and it seemed there was no sign of OCD. Out of nowhere about two days ago it was like it reappeared out of nowhere. My daughter started saying and doing things that were unmistakably OCD. I am heartbroken and scared. I knew that it would show again but I guess deep down you hope it won't. The thing I can't believe it it's almost down to the exact day it started last year. I don't understand what happens to her that it just comes and takes her over like this about a week before Christmas. I'm really worried because where we live there are no doctors around that have a clue about treating OCD or children with OCD. We had taken her about 2 hours away last winter to Mayo Clinic where she saw a good doctor and he really helped us all cope and get through it. The thing is there's absolutely noway we can afford to go there this year. I don't know what we're going to do. What does a person do when they can't afford the help their child needs? It's so wrong that so many people have to go through this and millions of other health issues with no way to get help for their child. We were so relieved last year to have found a place that knew what they were doing. Now to know they are there but out of our reach, it's heartbreaking and scary. I'm also going through a bad case of post partum depression and that's not helping. I'm just so sad. I'd forgotten how when the OCD comes my daughter's whole demeanor changes, like she's not herself anymore. Sometimes there will be moments when I see the real her but they are few and far between. And this is just the beginning. Does anyone have any advice for me? I just don't know how I'm going to handle this. I'm so depressed and worried that I can't imagine how I'm going to be able to help her get through this. I am currently on meds for depression and they were raised last week in hopes of helping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 20, 2008 Report Share Posted December 20, 2008 >>Hers is the second week of September . . . within 10 days of returning to school after Christmas break. I obviously meant " the second week of January " . . . I need to go to bed! Beth It's here again! I haven't posted on here much since my now seven year old daughter had been doing so well with her OCD. For the last two years she's dealt with OCD mostly with intrusive thoughts starting in the winter time through late winter early spring. Then it literally seems to disappear. We just had a third child (a major unplanned suprise) last week. My daughter was doing so well and it seemed there was no sign of OCD. Out of nowhere about two days ago it was like it reappeared out of nowhere. My daughter started saying and doing things that were unmistakably OCD. I am heartbroken and scared. I knew that it would show again but I guess deep down you hope it won't. The thing I can't believe it it's almost down to the exact day it started last year. I don't understand what happens to her that it just comes and takes her over like this about a week before Christmas. I'm really worried because where we live there are no doctors around that have a clue about treating OCD or children with OCD. We had taken her about 2 hours away last winter to Mayo Clinic where she saw a good doctor and he really helped us all cope and get through it. The thing is there's absolutely noway we can afford to go there this year. I don't know what we're going to do. What does a person do when they can't afford the help their child needs? It's so wrong that so many people have to go through this and millions of other health issues with no way to get help for their child. We were so relieved last year to have found a place that knew what they were doing. Now to know they are there but out of our reach, it's heartbreaking and scary. I'm also going through a bad case of post partum depression and that's not helping. I'm just so sad. I'd forgotten how when the OCD comes my daughter's whole demeanor changes, like she's not herself anymore. Sometimes there will be moments when I see the real her but they are few and far between. And this is just the beginning. Does anyone have any advice for me? I just don't know how I'm going to handle this. I'm so depressed and worried that I can't imagine how I'm going to be able to help her get through this. I am currently on meds for depression and they were raised last week in hopes of helping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Wow, it's so nice to have this support. I feel guilty for not sticking around here when things got better for my daughter to try to give support to those going through the tough times. I guess when things are good you just want to get as far away from the OCD as you can. My daughter did not go on any meds last year or ever. The doctors didn't think it was neccessary at the time. It's been so long since I've been reading about OCD and really even thinking about it much that I can't remember exactly what the therapy was she was doing. I believe it was something like CBT or ERP. Gosh I can't believe I can't even remember what it was called. There was a time when I was a walking encyclopedia of OCD information. I guess I should mention that we have insurance. However it's still so expensive that it took us almost an entire year to just pay off what we owed after insurance. And we are still paying off the credit card that we used for gas money to get up there and eating and sometimes hotels for staying overnight when there were lots of appointments. Lord knows when that will be payed off. We're so deep in credit card debt right now that that alone is making me crazy. I really don't think Mayo has any financial assistance at all. Towards what ended up being the end of my daughter's therapy last year I had emailed her doctor and told him that we couldn't afford to bring her anymore and that we thought we could handle it from that point because things seemed to be getting better (it was getting to the end of her usual bad time). He answered back that he understood that but didn't offer any kind of info about financial help if it was needed in the future. Of course this doesn't mean that it's not available but I would've thought he'd mention it if it was. Last year it was just the therapy that helped us get through it. It just helped us to sort of live a semi normal existance. It didn't change my daughter's demeanor. It was like she just didn't " come back " until about spring. With this happening two years in a row I had to ask her doctor if he thought there was something like SAD going on. We live in northern Iowa where we're in the middle of blizzard conditions right now and haven't even been able to go anywhere for a couple of days even if we wanted to! I also wanted to mention that mental health issues are all over in my family. I've taken meds for depression for about ten years myself. In the winter time I tend to get even more depressed which is another reason I had to wonder how the weather was playing a role in my daughter's OCD. I still can't help but wonder if we lived say in Hawaii would her OCD flare up every year in December and subside when the snow starts to melt and the daylight gets longer again? It just seems like quite a coincidence to me. We also do still have some books about OCD. I have what to do when your brain gets stuck as well as some others. I just dread doing this again. I dread seeing my daughter this way. She's done so well in school and now she's talking about not liking school and not wanting to go, just like last year. It's so weird. I wish we knew what happens to our children for the OCD to just " turn on " the way it does. As far as the baby being the trigger, I'm not sure. This is her normal time to start getting bad anyway. Also the first few days after the baby was born she was her normal sunny self...extra happy actually. She was smitten with the baby and seemed on top of the world. My husband and I actually had a conversation saying how wonderful it was that she seemed so happy. We thought maybe the OCD wouldn't come back at the same time. Then in a matter of a day or two I could see it. Her personality and the things she said and did, there was no question. It hasn't gotten to where it's taken over our lives yet but I don't doubt that it will. If anything it's completely taken over me with worry. I feel like I can handle a lot. It's just so hard to see this come back. I'm thinking about school and how we'll deal with that. Last year we had a phenomenal teacher who was great with our daughter. This year the teacher is nice and means well but I just don't know how it's going to go. I don't want to think about her being terrified of going to school again and all that stuff. I feel so bad thinking about her confessing stuff at school again that she didn't even really do and just might've thought of. It hurts to think of her being taken over with this again. I just wish I could do something to " cure " her. Then I read about children and adults who are so much worse and it scares me for her. I worry about her future. As a teenager I did drugs and drank to deal with my depression, of course I didn't realize that then. It scares me that she might do the same thing one day. Another thing that terrifies me is that this is hereditary. I didn't know until after I had my second child that our daughter had OCD and that it was hereditary. I'm so scared that my other two children might have it and maybe even worse than our little girl. I know that it's pointless to worry about this now but it's also impossible not to. It hurts so much to see your child go through this, to think that two more may have to is almost to much to stand. I can't help but wonder if my taking prozac throughout my pregnancies had something to do with this. The doctors of course say it didn't but I don't know. Well once again I've written a ton. Thanks everyone for your support. Your advice and well wishes will really keep me going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 I'm so sorry that you are going through Post Partum depression at the same time as your daughter's OCD acting up.  The good news is that both are treatable.  As far as your fear about your other children inheriting OCD, I just wanted to tell you that I am one of 4 kids in my family, and only I inherited it.  (Lucky me!  NOT!)  I have twins, and only my daughter has it.  They are so different it is like apples and oranges.  Hopefully the medication will make you feel better quickly and perhaps medication will be the answer for your daughter as well. Re: It's here again! Wow, it's so nice to have this support. I feel guilty for not sticking around here when things got better for my daughter to try to give support to those going through the tough times. I guess when things are good you just want to get as far away from the OCD as you can. My daughter did not go on any meds last year or ever. The doctors didn't think it was neccessary at the time. It's been so long since I've been reading about OCD and really even thinking about it much that I can't remember exactly what the therapy was she was doing. I believe it was some thing like CBT or ERP. Gosh I can't believe I can't even remember what it was called. There was a time when I was a walking encyclopedia of OCD information. I guess I should mention that we have insurance. However it's still so expensive that it took us almost an entire year to just pay off what we owed after insurance. And we are still paying off the credit card that we used for gas money to get up there and eating and sometimes hotels for staying overnight when there were lots of appointments. Lord knows when that will be payed off. We're so deep in credit card debt right now that that alone is making me crazy. I really don't think Mayo has any financial assistance at all. Towards what ended up being the end of my daughter's therapy last year I had emailed her doctor and told him that we couldn't afford to bring her anymore and that we thought we could handle it from that point because things seemed to be getting better (it was getting to the end of her usual bad time). He answered back that he understood that but didn't offer any kind of info about financial help if it was needed in the future. Of course this doesn't mean that it's not available but I would've thought he'd mention it if it was. Last year it was just the therapy that helped us get through it. It just helped us to sort of live a semi normal existance. It didn't change my daughter's demeanor. It was like she just didn't " come back " until about spring. With this happening two years in a row I had to ask her doctor if he thought there was something like SAD going on. We live in northern Iowa where we're in the middle of blizzard conditions right now and haven't even been able to go anywhere for a couple of days even if we wanted to! I also wanted to mention that mental health issues are all over in my family. I've taken meds for depression for about ten years myself. In the winter time I tend to get even more depressed which is another reason I had to wonder how the weather was playing a role in my daughter's OCD. I still can't help but wonder if we lived say in Hawaii would her OCD flare up every year in December and subside when the snow starts to melt and the daylight gets longer again? It just seems like quite a coincidence to me. We also do still have some books about OCD. I have what to do when your brain gets stuck as well as some others. I just dread doing this again. I dread seeing my daughter this way. She's done so well in school and now she's talking about not liking school and not wanting to go, just like last year. It's so weird. I wish we knew what happens to our children for the OCD to just " turn on " the way it does. As far as the baby being the trigger, I'm not sure. This is her normal time to start getting bad anyway. A lso the first few days after the baby was born she was her normal sunny self...extra happy actually. She was smitten with the baby and seemed on top of the world. My husband and I actually had a conversation saying how wonderful it was that she seemed so happy. We thought maybe the OCD wouldn't come back at the same time. Then in a matter of a day or two I could see it. Her personality and the things she said and did, there was no question. It hasn't gotten to where it's taken over our lives yet but I don't doubt that it will. If anything it's completely taken over me with worry. I feel like I can handle a lot. It's just so hard to see this come back. I'm thinking about school and how we'll deal with that. Last year we had a phenomenal teacher who was great with our daughter. This year the teacher is nice and means well but I just don't know how it's going to go. I don't want to think about her being terrified of going to school again and all that stuff. I feel so bad thinking about her confessing stuff at school again that she didn't even really do and just might've thought of. It hurts to think of her being taken over with this again. I just wish I could do something to " cure " her. Then I read about children and adults who are so much worse and it scares me for her. I worry about her future. As a teenager I did drugs and drank to deal with my depres sion, of course I didn't realize that then. It scares me that she might do the same thing one day. Another thing that terrifies me is that this is hereditary. I didn't know until after I had my second child that our daughter had OCD and that it was hereditary. I'm so scared that my other two children might have it and maybe even worse than our little girl. I know that it's pointless to worry about this now but it's also impossible not to. It hurts so much to see your child go through this, to think that two more may have to is almost to much to stand. I can't help but wonder if my taking prozac throughout my pregnancies had something to do with this. The doctors of course say it didn't but I don't know. Well once again I've written a ton. Thanks everyone for your support. Your advice and well wishes will really keep me going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 So sorry, Jami. You are dealing with a lot right now. ( When OCD waxes again, for whatever reason, it is a bit like getting sucker punched. Been there. <sigh> Many have responded and there's not a lot I can add. . But, just wanted to say that I seriously doubt your taking Prozac caused OCD. Many in here have children with OCD that didn't take Prozac. So, you need to not stress over that. Also wanted to add that it is not uncommon for people to " self medicate " with drugs or alcohol. My husband had done that a few times. Took some doing to get him off the booze and on some meds that truly helped, but we got there. I've talked a lot about it with our son, who is soon to be 17. The best thing we can give our kids, is awareness. Of course that had to be somewhat tempered to their age though. Unfortunately, Josh has seen first hand how alcohol consumption, out of control, can destroy a family, and that can make a lasting impression. I was thinking along the same lines as Barb. If she did ERP before, you can take what she learned and apply it to whatever is going on now, since it helped her before. Is she dealing with the same thoughts/rituals? Or is the OCD manifesting itself in a different way this time? If it's different and you feel comfortable with it, share what is specifically going on, and maybe someone else has dealt with it, and can share what ERP they used, for you to try. Oh, and don't feel guilty if you haven't come in in a while, because things were going well. I think all in here would celebrate with you for your time of things going smoothly. There's always some in here to share information with new people. ) Use the group for the much needed support, that you need right now, with no false guilt attached. There are many caring people here, who understand what you are feeling, that are happy to support you through this. (((hugs to you))) BJ > > Wow, it's so nice to have this support. I feel guilty for not > sticking around here when things got better for my daughter to try to > give support to those going through the tough times. I guess when > things are good you just want to get as far away from the OCD as you > can. > > My daughter did not go on any meds last year or ever. The doctors > didn't think it was neccessary at the time. It's been so long since > I've been reading about OCD and really even thinking about it much > that I can't remember exactly what the therapy was she was doing. I > believe it was something like CBT or ERP. Gosh I can't believe I > can't even remember what it was called. There was a time when I was a > walking encyclopedia of OCD information. > > I guess I should mention that we have insurance. However it's still > so expensive that it took us almost an entire year to just pay off > what we owed after insurance. And we are still paying off the credit > card that we used for gas money to get up there and eating and > sometimes hotels for staying overnight when there were lots of > appointments. Lord knows when that will be payed off. We're so deep > in credit card debt right now that that alone is making me crazy. > > I really don't think Mayo has any financial assistance at all. > Towards what ended up being the end of my daughter's therapy last > year I had emailed her doctor and told him that we couldn't afford to > bring her anymore and that we thought we could handle it from that > point because things seemed to be getting better (it was getting to > the end of her usual bad time). He answered back that he understood > that but didn't offer any kind of info about financial help if it was > needed in the future. Of course this doesn't mean that it's not > available but I would've thought he'd mention it if it was. > > Last year it was just the therapy that helped us get through it. It > just helped us to sort of live a semi normal existance. It didn't > change my daughter's demeanor. It was like she just didn't " come > back " until about spring. With this happening two years in a row I > had to ask her doctor if he thought there was something like SAD > going on. We live in northern Iowa where we're in the middle of > blizzard conditions right now and haven't even been able to go > anywhere for a couple of days even if we wanted to! > > I also wanted to mention that mental health issues are all over in my > family. I've taken meds for depression for about ten years myself. In > the winter time I tend to get even more depressed which is another > reason I had to wonder how the weather was playing a role in my > daughter's OCD. I still can't help but wonder if we lived say in > Hawaii would her OCD flare up every year in December and subside when > the snow starts to melt and the daylight gets longer again? It just > seems like quite a coincidence to me. > > We also do still have some books about OCD. I have what to do when > your brain gets stuck as well as some others. I just dread doing this > again. I dread seeing my daughter this way. She's done so well in > school and now she's talking about not liking school and not wanting > to go, just like last year. It's so weird. I wish we knew what > happens to our children for the OCD to just " turn on " the way it does. > > As far as the baby being the trigger, I'm not sure. This is her > normal time to start getting bad anyway. Also the first few days > after the baby was born she was her normal sunny self...extra happy > actually. She was smitten with the baby and seemed on top of the > world. My husband and I actually had a conversation saying how > wonderful it was that she seemed so happy. We thought maybe the OCD > wouldn't come back at the same time. Then in a matter of a day or two > I could see it. Her personality and the things she said and did, > there was no question. It hasn't gotten to where it's taken over our > lives yet but I don't doubt that it will. If anything it's completely > taken over me with worry. > > I feel like I can handle a lot. It's just so hard to see this come > back. I'm thinking about school and how we'll deal with that. Last > year we had a phenomenal teacher who was great with our daughter. > This year the teacher is nice and means well but I just don't know > how it's going to go. I don't want to think about her being terrified > of going to school again and all that stuff. I feel so bad thinking > about her confessing stuff at school again that she didn't even > really do and just might've thought of. It hurts to think of her > being taken over with this again. I just wish I could do something > to " cure " her. Then I read about children and adults who are so much > worse and it scares me for her. I worry about her future. As a > teenager I did drugs and drank to deal with my depression, of course > I didn't realize that then. It scares me that she might do the same > thing one day. > > Another thing that terrifies me is that this is hereditary. I didn't > know until after I had my second child that our daughter had OCD and > that it was hereditary. I'm so scared that my other two children > might have it and maybe even worse than our little girl. I know that > it's pointless to worry about this now but it's also impossible not > to. It hurts so much to see your child go through this, to think that > two more may have to is almost to much to stand. I can't help but > wonder if my taking prozac throughout my pregnancies had something to > do with this. The doctors of course say it didn't but I don't know. > > Well once again I've written a ton. Thanks everyone for your support. > Your advice and well wishes will really keep me going. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 " I guess when things are good you just want to get as far away from the OCD as you can. " Can certainly understand this need given all you have been coping with. When it's not taking over your life, it's good to get space from it, I felt the same way. As BJ says take what you need, give what you can. Personally, it helps me to reach out to others, so that is something that helps me too. It sounds like you already know this, but the ruminating over possibilities and negative thinking is not helpful. It's familiar to me, sounds like the depression talking. Remember this. Try to separate from those thoughts and just let them pass by, watch them, and try not to take them on. What will be will be, much of it is out of our control. Focus on some specific steps you can take to try and deal with your current situation with your daughter and let tomorrow take care of itself. As your own depression lifts you will most likely be more able to figure it all out. On the other hand, I understand the emotional grieving part, having to accept that the OCD is back, and not knowing what the future brings. It does just stink, no two ways about that. But, again, if she/you got through it before you will again, and she may be that much more able to take it on, both being a bit older, and having gone through it before she may be more open to understanding this is a chronic condition that one must learn how to manage. Last thought. If there is a cyclical nature to this, and mood based stuff, it sounds like medication will make a big difference. You might ask about bipolar disorder, as the cyclical nature is a big part of this. I'm not a doctor, just my experience with this. Hang in there. More hugs! Barb > > My daughter did not go on any meds last year or ever. The doctors > didn't think it was neccessary at the time. It's been so long since > I've been reading about OCD and really even thinking about it much > that I can't remember exactly what the therapy was she was doing. I > believe it was something like CBT or ERP. Gosh I can't believe I > can't even remember what it was called. There was a time when I was a > walking encyclopedia of OCD information. > > I guess I should mention that we have insurance. However it's still > so expensive that it took us almost an entire year to just pay off > what we owed after insurance. And we are still paying off the credit > card that we used for gas money to get up there and eating and > sometimes hotels for staying overnight when there were lots of > appointments. Lord knows when that will be payed off. We're so deep > in credit card debt right now that that alone is making me crazy. > > I really don't think Mayo has any financial assistance at all. > Towards what ended up being the end of my daughter's therapy last > year I had emailed her doctor and told him that we couldn't afford to > bring her anymore and that we thought we could handle it from that > point because things seemed to be getting better (it was getting to > the end of her usual bad time). He answered back that he understood > that but didn't offer any kind of info about financial help if it was > needed in the future. Of course this doesn't mean that it's not > available but I would've thought he'd mention it if it was. > > Last year it was just the therapy that helped us get through it. It > just helped us to sort of live a semi normal existance. It didn't > change my daughter's demeanor. It was like she just didn't " come > back " until about spring. With this happening two years in a row I > had to ask her doctor if he thought there was something like SAD > going on. We live in northern Iowa where we're in the middle of > blizzard conditions right now and haven't even been able to go > anywhere for a couple of days even if we wanted to! > > I also wanted to mention that mental health issues are all over in my > family. I've taken meds for depression for about ten years myself. In > the winter time I tend to get even more depressed which is another > reason I had to wonder how the weather was playing a role in my > daughter's OCD. I still can't help but wonder if we lived say in > Hawaii would her OCD flare up every year in December and subside when > the snow starts to melt and the daylight gets longer again? It just > seems like quite a coincidence to me. > > We also do still have some books about OCD. I have what to do when > your brain gets stuck as well as some others. I just dread doing this > again. I dread seeing my daughter this way. She's done so well in > school and now she's talking about not liking school and not wanting > to go, just like last year. It's so weird. I wish we knew what > happens to our children for the OCD to just " turn on " the way it does. > > As far as the baby being the trigger, I'm not sure. This is her > normal time to start getting bad anyway. Also the first few days > after the baby was born she was her normal sunny self...extra happy > actually. She was smitten with the baby and seemed on top of the > world. My husband and I actually had a conversation saying how > wonderful it was that she seemed so happy. We thought maybe the OCD > wouldn't come back at the same time. Then in a matter of a day or two > I could see it. Her personality and the things she said and did, > there was no question. It hasn't gotten to where it's taken over our > lives yet but I don't doubt that it will. If anything it's completely > taken over me with worry. > > I feel like I can handle a lot. It's just so hard to see this come > back. I'm thinking about school and how we'll deal with that. Last > year we had a phenomenal teacher who was great with our daughter. > This year the teacher is nice and means well but I just don't know > how it's going to go. I don't want to think about her being terrified > of going to school again and all that stuff. I feel so bad thinking > about her confessing stuff at school again that she didn't even > really do and just might've thought of. It hurts to think of her > being taken over with this again. I just wish I could do something > to " cure " her. Then I read about children and adults who are so much > worse and it scares me for her. I worry about her future. As a > teenager I did drugs and drank to deal with my depression, of course > I didn't realize that then. It scares me that she might do the same > thing one day. > > Another thing that terrifies me is that this is hereditary. I didn't > know until after I had my second child that our daughter had OCD and > that it was hereditary. I'm so scared that my other two children > might have it and maybe even worse than our little girl. I know that > it's pointless to worry about this now but it's also impossible not > to. It hurts so much to see your child go through this, to think that > two more may have to is almost to much to stand. I can't help but > wonder if my taking prozac throughout my pregnancies had something to > do with this. The doctors of course say it didn't but I don't know. > > Well once again I've written a ton. Thanks everyone for your support. > Your advice and well wishes will really keep me going. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 I remember that you joined this group around the same time that I did, earlier this year. When my son got better in the spring, I also was hoping that maybe it really hadn't been OCD, although deep down I knew it was. I prayed every night that it would never come back again. I was such an emotional wreck the last time he went through it, and couldn't imagine dealing with it again. His symptoms did come back again, in October. I feel what's helping me to deal with it this time is trying my hardest to only focus on today. I, too, can get wrapped up in thinking about the future and the dreadful possibilities. That won't help my son right now. Sometimes it's easier said than done, but it does help me to try to keep my mind busy with something else. My son had been doing so well, when my dad died after Thanksgiving. I was very concerned about how my son would deal with it. He was fine for a week, and then his symptoms got very bad. So your daughter could be reacting to the change in the family dynamics, even though it was a delayed reaction. I believe this is common, even with non OCD kids. I recently got my son a journal, and encourage him to write in it everyday. He writes his worries, fears, bad thoughts, but also his happy thoughts as well. It seems to be a good outlet for him. I also set up a worry time each day, and he's only allowed to talk about his fears, worries at that time. When he has thoughts at other times during the day, he tells himself it has to wait until worry time. This seems to be helping also. You will get through this. Try to stay positive. You and your daughter did it once, and you'll do it again. Maybe this time will be shorter and easier. We're all here for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 I find  the one day at a time... and sometimes one hour at a time method works great to. It is very easy to get wrapped up in the fears of where things are going. I found with Joei that if I don't keep myself calm and level headed OCD feeds off of it. Not an easy task for sure! I love BJ's experience of breaking down in the shower. I tell Joei I am putting myself on time out and go hide in my room for 15 minutes. I watch something on TV and just breathe!  ~~Kathy  Courage is not living without fear. Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway. -Chae ________________________________ To: Sent: Sunday, December 21, 2008 12:13:36 PM Subject: Re: It's here again! I remember that you joined this group around the same time that I did, earlier this year. When my son got better in the spring, I also was hoping that maybe it really hadn't been OCD, although deep down I knew it was. I prayed every night that it would never come back again. I was such an emotional wreck the last time he went through it, and couldn't imagine dealing with it again. His symptoms did come back again, in October. I feel what's helping me to deal with it this time is trying my hardest to only focus on today. I, too, can get wrapped up in thinking about the future and the dreadful possibilities. That won't help my son right now. Sometimes it's easier said than done, but it does help me to try to keep my mind busy with something else. My son had been doing so well, when my dad died after Thanksgiving. I was very concerned about how my son would deal with it. He was fine for a week, and then his symptoms got very bad. So your daughter could be reacting to the change in the family dynamics, even though it was a delayed reaction. I believe this is common, even with non OCD kids. I recently got my son a journal, and encourage him to write in it everyday. He writes his worries, fears, bad thoughts, but also his happy thoughts as well. It seems to be a good outlet for him. I also set up a worry time each day, and he's only allowed to talk about his fears, worries at that time. When he has thoughts at other times during the day, he tells himself it has to wait until worry time. This seems to be helping also. You will get through this. Try to stay positive. You and your daughter did it once, and you'll do it again. Maybe this time will be shorter and easier. We're all here for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 I hope you can find the strength to get thru this. You sound like a strong woman underneath all the external stresses, and you must believe in yourself. There are so many wonderful inputs here, but I just wanted to add a different way to look at the seasonal aspect of things. My son, too, was always way more difficult when the days got shorter. And again, was usually much better in the Springtime. We finally figured out that it was his specific OCD fear (of his parents dying in a car accident) that was worsened as he expected more accidents when it was dark out. His was a strictly pragmatic reaction. People drive better when there is light out. Period. With that said, for the first time in nearly a decade, he is doing well with the darkness. In fact, with the help of medications, we are experiencing our son with no significant traces of OCD at the present time, for the first time in Winter in a long, long time. It has been wonderful to finally 'meet' my teenage son without the 'noise'. Turns out, he's a great kid. I would be disingenious to not admit my fears of its return, but I am completely enjoying each day as a gift and hoping for the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 I totally get what you mean. Because we live with them, while they live with OCD, we become more in tune to it. I'm that way with our son. I can sense it, even if it's not obvious. At times it's something subtle, like a certain look, or a moment of quietness, or even a subtle personality shift. And then other times, it is something they say that sends up a red flag, which sounds like what you are experiencing. Others don't even notice, but I know right away. I think because it's been something we've battled together, for so many years, that it's given us a connection that is unique, and I'm just in tune to it, with him. Hope that doesn't sound weird. lol One thing that I've found, about OCD, though. . Sometimes it will flare up, but not be so bad. Of course, I always fear it will get as bad as it's been in the past, when it was at it's worst, but for our son there have been different degrees of severity, with each time it waxed. And, since our son did CBT/ERP, we've learned that if anything rears it's ugly head, to nip it in the bud, immediately, so it doesn't have time to grow. That gives you a fighting chance. Sounds like you are taking the steps to do that. Hope things settle back down soon. ) Hugs, BJ > > What can I say? You are all truly the greatest people ever! Every > single thing everyone of you has to say sticks with me and helps me > to get through another day. > > I've been doing exactly what most of you have said and just been > taking it all one day at a time, more like one hour at a time. I > think I might have actually made it through yesterday without crying > so that in itself is a huge deal. I'm hoping the increase in my meds > is starting to make a difference for me. I have two days under my > belt alone with the three kids with my husband gone to work and I've > made it. I haven't worked this hard in years. I thought two kids was > hard, boy did I have no idea what I was in for! > > I think our plan is going to be just what most of you have suggested > with sort of trying to just go with what helped last year. I swear > now though I think I blocked it out or something. It was such an > intense time period I don't know how I couldn't remember what we did. > I mean I didn't forget everything. It's just that there was so much > going on, so much to deal with and so many different things we tried. > It's hard to remember what worked with what problem. > > I have to say I always wonder what medication could do for my > daughter. I think back all the way to my childhood and I wonder how > much better it would've been for me if I could've had medication as a > younger person. I always remember feeling depressed, always. I really > think I might've done so much better as a teenager especially if I > had been on meds. So yes, I really wonder if it's something that > would be helpful for her. > > As far as what sort of symptoms she's showing she hasn't really > started doing anything major yet for me to share, it's just what I > recognize as sort of the start of it all if that makes sense. For > instance the other day we were in the drive through at mcdonalds and > her and her little brother were looking at a bird in the tree. DD > said something about " that bird is eating the snow. " Then a few > minutes later she says something like " I think maybe I might've just > said that about the bird. I don't think it really ate the snow. " Okay > not a big deal but this is the type of thing a month from now she > might be doing a zillion times a day. Then last night we were out and > she kept going to the bathroom to wipe. She told me she'd wiped a > bunch of times but just still felt wet. I asked her if she thought it > was her OCD. She said " yeah probably but I actually feel wet. " > > Then the biggee for me is her personality. It's like she gets more > negative. Like a dark cloud over her you could say. When it all goes > away it's like that cloud is lifted. It gets really hard dealing with > her negativity. I try to tell myself it's not really her but it's > hard day in and day out. Especially now that she's getting older. > > I will definately post more because the help you all offer is > incredible. I'm really trying to not worry about it all but as you > can tell it's hard. It's just barely the beginning of this all and I > already miss my daughter. She has today and a half day tomorrow of > school before two weeks of christmas vacation. By the time she goes > back things could be way worse. I so dread the school aspect of it > all. Again here I am worrying, maybe it will be okay. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 Kathy, it is just amazing how far you and Joei have come. I'm just so tickled for you. ) It's great to watch, as improvement keeps coming, and you've gotten your life back. Hugs, BJ > > You have a lot on your plate, I hope you are being gentle with yourself. > > I find with Joei that the times when she has the real deep negativity are when her anxiety level is high. This kind of helps me to depersonalize it, telling myself it's not personal. This helps me to deal with it better. >  > ~~Kathy >  Courage is not living without fear. > Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway. > -Chae > > > > > > ________________________________ > > To: > Sent: Monday, December 22, 2008 7:50:30 AM > Subject: Re: It's here again! > > > What can I say? You are all truly the greatest people ever! Every > single thing everyone of you has to say sticks with me and helps me > to get through another day. > > I've been doing exactly what most of you have said and just been > taking it all one day at a time, more like one hour at a time. I > think I might have actually made it through yesterday without crying > so that in itself is a huge deal. I'm hoping the increase in my meds > is starting to make a difference for me. I have two days under my > belt alone with the three kids with my husband gone to work and I've > made it. I haven't worked this hard in years. I thought two kids was > hard, boy did I have no idea what I was in for! > > I think our plan is going to be just what most of you have suggested > with sort of trying to just go with what helped last year. I swear > now though I think I blocked it out or something. It was such an > intense time period I don't know how I couldn't remember what we did. > I mean I didn't forget everything. It's just that there was so much > going on, so much to deal with and so many different things we tried. > It's hard to remember what worked with what problem. > > I have to say I always wonder what medication could do for my > daughter. I think back all the way to my childhood and I wonder how > much better it would've been for me if I could've had medication as a > younger person. I always remember feeling depressed, always. I really > think I might've done so much better as a teenager especially if I > had been on meds. So yes, I really wonder if it's something that > would be helpful for her. > > As far as what sort of symptoms she's showing she hasn't really > started doing anything major yet for me to share, it's just what I > recognize as sort of the start of it all if that makes sense. For > instance the other day we were in the drive through at mcdonalds and > her and her little brother were looking at a bird in the tree. DD > said something about " that bird is eating the snow. " Then a few > minutes later she says something like " I think maybe I might've just > said that about the bird. I don't think it really ate the snow. " Okay > not a big deal but this is the type of thing a month from now she > might be doing a zillion times a day. Then last night we were out and > she kept going to the bathroom to wipe. She told me she'd wiped a > bunch of times but just still felt wet. I asked her if she thought it > was her OCD. She said " yeah probably but I actually feel wet. " > > Then the biggee for me is her personality. It's like she gets more > negative. Like a dark cloud over her you could say. When it all goes > away it's like that cloud is lifted. It gets really hard dealing with > her negativity. I try to tell myself it's not really her but it's > hard day in and day out. Especially now that she's getting older. > > I will definately post more because the help you all offer is > incredible. I'm really trying to not worry about it all but as you > can tell it's hard. It's just barely the beginning of this all and I > already miss my daughter. She has today and a half day tomorrow of > school before two weeks of christmas vacation. By the time she goes > back things could be way worse. I so dread the school aspect of it > all. Again here I am worrying, maybe it will be okay. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 Thank you BJ. Things are still topsy turvy in our household, but it is a bit more manageable. I don't know where we would be with OCD without this group. The support and the knowledge is invaluable. I am ever so grateful!! ~~Kathy  Courage is not living without fear. Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway. -Chae ________________________________ To: Sent: Monday, W22, 2008 10:58:04 AM Subject: Re: It's here again! Kathy, it is just amazing how far you and Joei have come. I'm just so tickled for you. ) It's great to watch, as improvement keeps coming, and you've gotten your life back. Hugs, BJ > > You have a lot on your plate, I hope you are being gentle with yourself. > > I find with Joei that the times when she has the real deep negativity are when her anxiety level is high. This kind of helps me to depersonalize it, telling myself it's not personal. This helps me to deal with it better. >  > ~~Kathy >  Courage is not living without fear. > Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway. > -Chae > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ __ > From: popo9807 <jamijesse@. ..> > To: @ yahoogroups. com > Sent: Monday, December 22, 2008 7:50:30 AM > Subject: Re: It's here again! > > > What can I say? You are all truly the greatest people ever! Every > single thing everyone of you has to say sticks with me and helps me > to get through another day. > > I've been doing exactly what most of you have said and just been > taking it all one day at a time, more like one hour at a time. I > think I might have actually made it through yesterday without crying > so that in itself is a huge deal. I'm hoping the increase in my meds > is starting to make a difference for me. I have two days under my > belt alone with the three kids with my husband gone to work and I've > made it. I haven't worked this hard in years. I thought two kids was > hard, boy did I have no idea what I was in for! > > I think our plan is going to be just what most of you have suggested > with sort of trying to just go with what helped last year. I swear > now though I think I blocked it out or something. It was such an > intense time period I don't know how I couldn't remember what we did. > I mean I didn't forget everything. It's just that there was so much > going on, so much to deal with and so many different things we tried. > It's hard to remember what worked with what problem. > > I have to say I always wonder what medication could do for my > daughter. I think back all the way to my childhood and I wonder how > much better it would've been for me if I could've had medication as a > younger person. I always remember feeling depressed, always. I really > think I might've done so much better as a teenager especially if I > had been on meds. So yes, I really wonder if it's something that > would be helpful for her. > > As far as what sort of symptoms she's showing she hasn't really > started doing anything major yet for me to share, it's just what I > recognize as sort of the start of it all if that makes sense. For > instance the other day we were in the drive through at mcdonalds and > her and her little brother were looking at a bird in the tree. DD > said something about " that bird is eating the snow. " Then a few > minutes later she says something like " I think maybe I might've just > said that about the bird. I don't think it really ate the snow. " Okay > not a big deal but this is the type of thing a month from now she > might be doing a zillion times a day. Then last night we were out and > she kept going to the bathroom to wipe. She told me she'd wiped a > bunch of times but just still felt wet. I asked her if she thought it > was her OCD. She said " yeah probably but I actually feel wet. " > > Then the biggee for me is her personality. It's like she gets more > negative. Like a dark cloud over her you could say. When it all goes > away it's like that cloud is lifted. It gets really hard dealing with > her negativity. I try to tell myself it's not really her but it's > hard day in and day out. Especially now that she's getting older. > > I will definately post more because the help you all offer is > incredible. I'm really trying to not worry about it all but as you > can tell it's hard. It's just barely the beginning of this all and I > already miss my daughter. She has today and a half day tomorrow of > school before two weeks of christmas vacation. By the time she goes > back things could be way worse. I so dread the school aspect of it > all. Again here I am worrying, maybe it will be okay. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 You are completely right! Even my husband who is the most wonderful Dad in the world and has been right there with us for all of this, well he just doesn't pick up on the stuff that I do. It's so weird. I was listing off all this stuff to him that had me worried about her and he hadn't noticed any of it till I brought it up. It's just what you said, these subtle little things that all just add up eventually to the bigger picture. I also hope you are right that maybe it won't be as bad as I think. I'm a total pessamist which is probably pretty obvious. Of course I hope and pray for the best but I always try to prepare for the worst. Today actually so far she's been pretty good. School was canceled because of another snow day though so I think that made her happy. Although she got ready for school pretty well and was ready to wait for the bus when we found out school was canceled. So even before that she was doing fairly well. Right now both my two year old and baby are both sleeping and I have a second to breath. I should be cleaning the house but I'm not going to and I'm not going to feel bad about it either! I'm going to go try to spend some time with my daughter and relax. Well as best I can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 Yes, take what moments (hours if really lucky, LOL) you can to relax and breathe! So long as family has clean clothes, some food to eat, dishes to eat them on, a place to sit...don't worry about the rest of the house. Unless you're one who does better to keep busy. I go back & forth on that. For some things, keeping busy helps, then other times I need to RELAX and ignore other stuff. But I recall the post-partum (sp?) depression I had after my first son (not quite as bad later with twins) and time for ME was sooo important. And telling myself " it's hormonal, it's hormonal... " over & over. :-) Like you, I worry about the worst, try to " prepare " , etc. But the majority of the time I should have just waited it out, not try to cross that bridge yet, as the worst doesn't happen. Just know that if it comes, you'll handle it then. LOL, that said, if I expected 's OCD might worsen, I did increase his Celexa, or his inositol when he was on it, in anticipation. He always worsened before Christmas, his " happy " anxiety/excitement about Christmas worsened it. And then when start of school was almost here after summer, etc. Enjoy your holidays, spoil yourself a bit! > > You are completely right! Even my husband who is the most wonderful > Dad in the world and has been right there with us for all of this, > well he just doesn't pick up on the stuff that I do. It's so weird. I > was listing off all this stuff to him that had me worried about her > and he hadn't noticed any of it till I brought it up. It's just what Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 Hi Jami, Just wanted to suggest you might remind your daughter to catch herself with the bathroom wiping. Remind her that in order to not have it increase she needs to resist the urge to keep wiping, and that the OCD will make her feel like she is still wet, but she has to try and just let that feeling be there. The negativity and dark mood that can come along with the OCD is brutal, we get that too. It is indeed very wearing day in and day out. Hopefully if you can help your daughter gain a sense of control with it, remembering whatever she used to do, as well as learning new " tricks " . Remind her she can ignore/challenge/watch the thoughts but she wants to try not to answer them in any way. Someone posted some ERP tips a while ago and one of the suggestions was to play tag with the OCD " catching " the thoughts as they come. Also, one upping the thoughts, ie, with bathroom issue, I don't just feel wet, I'm dripping and I'm going to flood the floor. Can't always do this, but the idea is a good one, and they can work up to it. Hope the rest of the day went well. Getting a snow day always improves our son's disposition! Hugs! Barb .. Then last night we were out and > she kept going to the bathroom to wipe. She told me she'd wiped a > bunch of times but just still felt wet. I asked her if she thought it > was her OCD. She said " yeah probably but I actually feel wet. " > > Then the biggee for me is her personality. It's like she gets more > negative. Like a dark cloud over her you could say. When it all goes > away it's like that cloud is lifted. It gets really hard dealing with > her negativity. I try to tell myself it's not really her but it's > hard day in and day out. Especially now that she's getting older. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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