Re: Re: Judy,

December 25, 2008

Hi ,

In my opinion, your best bet is to ignore your mother. My entire family doesn't

get it, and the more I explain, the more they just don't get it! You could try

giving her a book or article on OCD to help explain it , if you think she might

read it.

When my son hits me, I immediately put him in time out. I tell him that is not

allowed.My son flies off into rages constantly. I just keep adding on the

minutes to the time out and/or take away more and more toys. I don't start the

time out timer until he is calm, which means there are times he is in there for

hours.You cannot let him hit you. I know he is ill, but he needs to learn that

is not acceptable and try to teach him other techniques to calm himself down ,

like breathing or counting down from 10. You can tell him to do push ups. If he

can't de escalate, than, it's too bad, time for time out. I know this sounds

harsh, but he has to realize he will get a consequence for that type of

behavior, and you won't tolerate it.

Is he raging over an OCD issue or when you tell him " no " ?

Hugs

Judy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Thursday, December 25, 2008 2:09:21 AM

Subject: Re: Re: Judy

Hi. It's ten til two on Christmas morning and here I am just trying to hold on

to a little bit of sanity.

i think the whole Christmas thing was just too much for him. He was so overly

excited and all he (my 7 year old with ocd) cared about was getting his latest

obsession, toys. We had to let him open some gifts last night to take the

edge off but I couldn't remember which package had what he really wanted. So he

melted down, threw things and cursed. My mom is here and her response was to

tell me how manipulative he is, as if I didn't know. I don't even want to show

up for Christmas!

What's worse is that my mom will be here until the 29th and I have to deal with

Josiah who, although he is doing better than a month ago, is still a very big

handful and can flip into rage on a dime. He hit me twice the other day. What do

you do when this happens? He was not like this so much until recently. I have

him on a point system for rewards and punishments but when he gets points taken

off for bad behavior he goes into a rage again! Sometimes I just don't know how

I'm going to make it! I think he has ODD on top of the OCD. Is that somewhat

common?

I know I'm rambling, so I'll sign off. Thanks to all of you very supportive

listeners. Dare I even say Merry Christmas after all of my complaining? I do

wish you all the best!

Walk by Faith

Tyler

____________ _________ _________ __

From: c ward <cward_riyahoo (DOT) com>

To: @ yahoogroups. com

Sent: Wednesday, December 24, 2008 2:30:29 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Judy

Judy,

Is your daughter still doing well on the gluten free diet?

in TN

From: jchabot <jchabotsnet (DOT) net>

Subject: Re: Re: Experience with abilify and hospitalization

To: @ yahoogroups. com

Date: Wednesday, December 24, 2008, 2:00 PM

Hi Silvia,

My 7 yr old son is on Abilify with Luvox. He has OCD and Bipolar , so we can't

go up on the Luvox unless we also go up on the Abilify. My experience is that if

you use the anti-psychotic alone, it will intensify the OCD. You must have an

SSRI with it.My son has been horrendous lately. He has gained weight and needs a

raise in the Abilify. He rages all day. He screams, spits, hits, etc, etc.He

doesn't listen to anything I say, and punishments and time outs are just not

effective. I'm hoping his doctor will raise the meds again, or he will have to

be hospitalized also. I haven't had him hospitalized yet, but my daughter (12)

has been there twice, and I know how hard it is.

With your son being 17, you really have to consider how dangerous he could

become if he is acting out. I think you did the right thing by hospitalizing

him.

Hang in there! It will get better!

We are all here if you need to talk.

Hugs

Judy

December 25, 2008

Hi ,

Are you noticing his pupils dilating only during a rage?

Hugs

judy

________________________________

To:

Sent: Thursday, December 25, 2008 3:46:43 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Judy

Thank you so much for responding. It is so helpful to talk to people who " get

it " . I think you're right about making sure he gets plenty of positive

reinforcement.

It is absolutely amazing how much calmer he was today once the anxiety over what

he would get for Christmas was resolved. He's like a different kid! If only he

could be that calm at school!! We do have an appointment with a

neuro-psychietrist in January. I'm hoping to get his meds adjusted and to get an

answer to a nagging question...why are his pupils dilated much of the time?

Anyone have any experience with that?

I'm thankful he is having a good day!

Walk by Faith

Tyler

____________ _________ _________ __

From: Dorelle Ackermann <dor2427comcast (DOT) net>

To: @ yahoogroups. com

Sent: Thursday, December 25, 2008 8:40:56 AM

Subject: Re: Judy

,

I can't imagine dealing with my mother on top of the holidays

and my DD's OCD/meltdowns. I don't care how " manipulative " my DD's

behavior looks to other people, I need to remind myself that if she

could control it she would. We are working with meds, a therapist,

nutritional supplements and this all takes time. We are all doing the

best we can do. I know, I am very resentful when she is in the midst

of a meltdown over the smallest of things and seems totally

unappreciative of the 24/7 effort I make to keep a calm household.

Afterwards I have to remind myself and mourn that we are not a

" normal " family and I have to accept that.

What works for us to minimize the duration of a meltdown

(doesn't yet prevent them..... will it ever??) is to give rewards for

the numerous times during the day when triggers don't result in

aggression. During a meltdown we just agree with the insane " logic "

of the reptilian, fight/flight brain that is driving her behavior.

FOR example: " Yes, next time when I hang up your wet bathing suit for

you, I will hang it upstairs not downstairs. " Afterwards, we charge

her for the bossiness. On a good day, she still has $$ credit because

she has less than 2 aggressions or less than 10 bossy's or some

combination. We also use chips to remind us all of the " near

triggers " that were averted for whatever reason. Or, her

acknowledging the mistake after the fact. She then can use the chips

to " payback for excessive bossiness which will result in a loss of

privilege if not paid back. She can also turn in her chips for 25

cents a chip. She definitely needs money to pay us back for the

damage she's caused this last year. One moment of rage cost her

$300.00 for ripping out my earring and throwing it into the lawn where

we have not been able to recover it. Surprisingly, she seems to want

to pay it back. I think she does feel bad afterwards and this gives

her back some of her dignity. I feel like an accountant keeping track

of all of this but I'm charting her aggression and it averages less

than 2/day now. Last spring it was 30/day and that was when she

needed hospitalization. After hospitalization it was still about 10/

day so I do think the meds plus this very structured behavioral

modification plan is helping. Perhaps some day we can look back and

laugh at the insanity of paying my DD $5.00/day for not hitting. It

may sound expensive but the damage she was doing was in the thousands

of dollars and inpatient hospitalization costs $1000.00/day. If this

is limiting these two things it's a great deal in the long run.

Dorelle

December 25, 2008

I remember my dd having the experience with eyes being completely dilated enough

that people would comment on it. It was due to 1 of her meds at the time but I

can't remember which one. Is he on meds? If so, if you tell me which ones I can

tell you if maybe it was the one that caused my dd's eyes to dilate. Good luck,

Stormy

Subject: Re: Re: Judy,

To:

Date: Thursday, December 25, 2008, 2:42 PM

Hi ,

Are you noticing his pupils dilating only during a rage?

Hugs

judy

____________ _________ _________ __

From: Tyler <suddenly17yahoo (DOT) com>