Re: Re: Help for mom - shiffra ----

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Lots of good information here Thanks

 

~~Kathy

 

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Courage is not living without fear.

Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway.

-Chae

________________________________

To:

Sent: Sunday, December 14, 2008 1:48:31 PM

Subject: Re: Help for mom - " shiffra "

Hi there,

Well I'm glad if my email had some positive effect. I said to BJ,

the next morning I woke up and wondered what all I'd written as I was

up late that night, not sleeping...

I know exactly what you mean about others not understanding, and

feeling you have no reason to be depressed etc. Heck, my own mother

who has been surrounded by this, own mother committed suicid, sister

repeated hospitalized, shock therapy back when that was bad,doesn't

understand it. I think unless or until you experience it, it's like

any other illness you can't " get it. Situational depression is

different and you can pull yourself out of it, at least I find. I

know this esp because when things were very bad with our son and OCD

I could still feel happy, in fact I could feel more appreciative of

every little moment. Even when my Dad died, then my neice and things

got worse with the OCD I could still move, I was sad, overwhelmed,

afraid all kinds of things, but not truly depressed. I know you know

what I mean.

I once described what was going on in my head to my husband, a very

layed back happy person who could never understand because it is just

not in his experience. He at one point said " stop, I can't take any

more! " , I just wanted him to have some idea what I was carrying

around with me as I tried to make it through my day. So he could

relate I told my husband it's like losing a parent or child and

having your arm ripped off for added fun, the depth of it sometimes,

or the feeling of an elephant sitting on your chest, I've heard the

heaviness described, or the panicky feeling before you drop into it,

like you are being chased and you know you can't escape it - that one

I have learned to do a freefall into and be willing to go down and

not come out, took the fear/anxiety away and any pressure to try and

do anything, remembering you can't stop it anyway - the allowing so

you don't get stuck in it that I mentioned before. The separating

and just observing it...

The movie " What the Bleep do We Know " is very interesting and kind of

gives a visual depiction of the observer within the self and how

powerful it can be.

That's kind of what I meant about not assigning meaning to it,

because I find if I'm depressed long enough I start trying to find

meaning in it, or attaching to some event and amplifying it. I try

to be disciplined about just allowing the feeling of it and not

allowing myself to think or I can snowball it for sure.

I guess because I have so many family members affected, going

generations back, and suicide, or attempts, I know the biological

aspect is just there and that I cannot just " pull up my bootstraps "

as they say. Although in the end it IS the disciplined part to kick

yourself out the door or whatever and not just give into it and not

move. Having structure with flexibility works for me.

Ok, as usual I went off on a tear.... I will get to your questions -

TCM is Traditional Chinese Medicine. Usually they do acupunctue and

herbal remedies. I found a " westerner " who was more sensitive to my

wussy non-asian body that suited me. I did see an asian practitioner

who was very good, but insisted the needles had to hurt to work, well

that just didn't work for me, no added pain needed thank you...

Anyway, this has been the most effective approach I have ever found.

She worked on hormones, pms, and depression/mania. So, if you can

find someone you feel comfortable with I would strongly recommend

this. I think why I like it so much is the combination of working on

energy in the body(acupuncture) , with the herbs targetting specific

needs.

The specific emotional remedy I use is Gan Mai Da Zao Tang. You can

google it and read about it. It says it targets serotonin too which

would make sense why it helps. Not sure your access to this kind of

stuff, but where I live we have a China town with stores that carry

these things. Although I am lucky to get mine organincally grown

locally!

The light box - you can go online at lighttherapy. com and check out

the Apollo golite. They even have a self test to see what's going on

with your circadian rhythm and if and when you would benefit from

using light therapy. I have to be carefull as it can make me

hypomanic, stop sleeping, but I am playing with it to find the right

timing and duration. My sister uses and swears by a dawn simulator

which comes on before she sleeps and for waking up. I need the blue

light and to have it hit my eye. When I go south I notice day one I

instantly feel uplifted by the sun, so know this is a factor, mind

you then I start to unhinge a bit and have to have a mojito to slow

down(hardship. ..).

With the bipolar part and meds, some are negatively affected by

ssri's (me and whole family), others can take but only with mood

stabilizer. So the medicating for depression needs to be done

carefully is all. As I say, to date, I've never found anything that

didn't whack me down further, unhinge, or simply flatten out and take

the part I use to function away. From what I understand some need

dopamine more than or as well as serotonin, or need multiple meds to

affect the part/parts of the brain affected. I think I probably need

minute traces of multiple things, but feel I function well enough,

and cycle through quick enough, if that changed I think I would try

harder on this front.

Email offline anytime. I can promise I'll understand in general if

not your particular " brand " of depression. Also, check out the movie

I mentioned, but only if your brain is fully functional(it moves fast

and is unusual). Some really interesting practioners and thinkers

etc in the movie commenting/intervie wed.

Keep in touch.

HUGS!

Barb

> >

> > My daughter pretty much has her " issues " (OCD, ADD) under

control;

> however I

> > do not. So, I was hoping to reach out for some advice.

> >

> >

> >

> > I have battled depression for 10 years. I started on Zoloft way

> back then,

> > and it worked for about 5-6 years, although, over the years I did

> have to

> > continue to up the dosage. I tried the vitamin supplement route

> for about

> > one year, and decided that was just not going to work for me.

Just

> within

> > the last couple of months, I started Cymbalta. I am taking the

> maximum

> > dosage of 90mg. It has helped a little bit, but not as much as I

> would like

> > it to. I have tried taking it at different times of the day; I

> tried

> > dividing the dosage between morning and evening, still no

> improvement. I

> > still have issues with sleep and my mood still needs improvement.

> >

> >

> >

> > I hate to have to wean myself and start over, but I am thinking

> that might

> > be necessary.any insight???

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >