Re: How to handle teachers

November 21, 2008

Micah brought his papers home today....he'd been collecting them since the

beginning of the school year. I finally asked, thinking the teachers had them,

but no....they were all crammed into his desk.

Anyway...as I'm going through his papers I see deductions for neatness.

Words written in red " messy " . Over and over again.

Well he has OCD and Tourette's! What do they expect?? I agree his

handwriting's a mess, but he's doing the best he can.

In Oct the teachers agreed not to grade him on neatness....I was so angry

when I saw that one of his teachers knocked off 30 pts for neatness, and not

using a pen. This project was worth 25% of his grade.

He cant use a pen, if he cant erase, he will scribble things out....and he

will never finish. He has symmetry OCD, so erasing is constant.

I'm so angry that his teachers didn't keep their word. I didn't rush to get

the IEP reinstated because I thought their word meant something.

I don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I call them on it, it'll be taken out

on Micah. How do you nicely state....hey what about your word? This

particular teacher, that's grading him so harshly...gave him a D- this quarter.

A

lot of his tests are essay questions, and they cant read it. If they cant read

it...its wrong, even if its right.

I also asked her to watch a short DVD about TS, but she never answered my

email, and I asked twice. I feel like I'm getting no cooperation from her.

He is so discouraged, he says no matter how hard he works, or studies, he

still fails. He's developing a " why should I bother " attitude.... " I'm going to

fail anyway "

Any advise for dealing with uncooperative teachers? If this is 6th grade how

much worse will Jr high be?

Thanks,

**************One site has it all. Your email accounts, your social networks,

and the things you love. Try the new AOL.com

today!(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100000075x1212962939x1200825291/aol?redir=h\

ttp://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp

%26icid=aolcom40vanity%26ncid=emlcntaolcom00000001)

November 22, 2008

Thanks BJ,

I'm afraid we are both getting discouraged.

I went to the TS web site, they had a seminar you could watch online for OTs

teaching kids with TS and OCD. I watched it, and it became very apparent I

need an OT to intervene with teachers on Micah's behalf.

So this is my next step.

Thanks so much BJ for your help and encouragement, it means a lot.

In a message dated 11/22/2008 4:08:50 A.M. Central Standard Time,

BJClosner@... writes:

Gee, , I'm sorry this is happening. I don't have any experience

with dealing with schools, since we've homeschooled for so may years.

But, I hope some in here can give you some tips on how to get the

school to work with you better. It's not right, what is happening.

And I think it is sad that Micah is getting a discouraged attitude

about learning. I understand your concerns.

BJ

**************One site has it all. Your email accounts, your social networks,

and the things you love. Try the new AOL.com

today!(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100000075x1212962939x1200825291/aol?redir=h\

ttp://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp

%26icid=aolcom40vanity%26ncid=emlcntaolcom00000001)

November 22, 2008

Gee, , I'm sorry this is happening. I don't have any experience

with dealing with schools, since we've homeschooled for so may years.

But, I hope some in here can give you some tips on how to get the

school to work with you better. It's not right, what is happening.

And I think it is sad that Micah is getting a discouraged attitude

about learning. I understand your concerns.

BJ

>

> Micah brought his papers home today....he'd been collecting them

since the

> beginning of the school year. I finally asked, thinking the teachers

had them,

> but no....they were all crammed into his desk.

>

> Anyway...as I'm going through his papers I see deductions for

neatness.

> Words written in red " messy " . Over and over again.

> Well he has OCD and Tourette's! What do they expect?? I agree his

> handwriting's a mess, but he's doing the best he can.

>

> In Oct the teachers agreed not to grade him on neatness....I was so

angry

> when I saw that one of his teachers knocked off 30 pts for neatness,

and not

> using a pen. This project was worth 25% of his grade.

>

> He cant use a pen, if he cant erase, he will scribble things

out....and he

> will never finish. He has symmetry OCD, so erasing is constant.

>

> I'm so angry that his teachers didn't keep their word. I didn't rush

to get

> the IEP reinstated because I thought their word meant something.

>

> I don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I call them on it, it'll be

taken out

> on Micah. How do you nicely state....hey what about your word? This

> particular teacher, that's grading him so harshly...gave him a D-

this quarter. A

> lot of his tests are essay questions, and they cant read it. If

they cant read

> it...its wrong, even if its right.

>

> I also asked her to watch a short DVD about TS, but she never

answered my

> email, and I asked twice. I feel like I'm getting no cooperation

from her.

>

> He is so discouraged, he says no matter how hard he works, or

studies, he

> still fails. He's developing a " why should I bother "

attitude.... " I'm going to

> fail anyway "

>

> Any advise for dealing with uncooperative teachers? If this is 6th

grade how

> much worse will Jr high be?

>

> Thanks,

>

> **************One site has it all. Your email accounts, your social

networks,

> and the things you love. Try the new AOL.com

>

today!(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100000075x1212962939x1200825291/aol?redir=h\

ttp://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp

> %26icid=aolcom40vanity%26ncid=emlcntaolcom00000001)

>

November 22, 2008

Hi

The Dr that just recently tested him for learning disabilities may have

tested him for dysgraphia, I'm just not aware yet. After the testing his comment

was that Micah has severe OCD, and that we would discuss the findings of the

other tests Dec 1.

This particular teacher complained about having to help Micah, as she has to

lead him step by step. There's another teacher in the school who's son also

has TS, so I mentioned this to her, and she suggested having his teacher make

a list of the steps on paper for him to keep at his desk, that way he can

mark off each step as he completes it.

I thought it was a great idea, so I emailed the suggestion to her, but she

never responded, and she never did it. Too much effort I guess, don't get me

wrong, I know she has 20 kids in her class, but are we supposed to let him

fail because helping him is too much work? That's why I made the suggestion, I

was trying to make things easier for both of them.

I also asked her to watch " I have TS but TS doesn't have me " , and again, no

response.

She agreed to not grade him on neatness but didn't follow through, that's

what really burns me, she said she wouldn't and she did. And an F no less, for

his artwork!

I do believe he has dysgraphia, but I think part is OCD. He keeps tracing

and retracing his letters, if it doesn't " feel " right when he writes them he

erases and starts again, over and over.

All the kids had to use pen for the project, but for Micah that wont work,

since he " needs " to retrace, and if he makes a mistake, and he will, he would

scribble it out. Then she would really think its messy. If he had to start

over every time he made a mistake, he would never finish. When he's writing, he

thinks one letter and writes another. It frustrates him so much.

he has also started doing the same with his sentences...repeating part of it

over and over again. I don't know if that's TS or OCD.

His other teacher's great, its this one that's giving me fits. The others I

don't bother with, i.e. art, music, pe.

I think she's one of those people that think OCD is a behavioral/attitude

problem.

I wrote the school counselor, I was upset when I sent it. But, I'm so

peeved, it doesn't bother me if the teacher gets her nose out of joint...unless

she

takes it out on him. But if she didn't intend to keep her word, then she

shouldn't have given it.

I read it to my husband, and couldn't even get through it without crying.

it has become very obvious to me that a 504 or IEP are absolutely necessary.

if you're interested in the letter I sent the school counselor Ill

send it to you off list.

Thanks so much for the suggestions, and just listening!!

In a message dated 11/22/2008 8:57:22 A.M. Central Standard Time,

@... writes:

, could his doctor - whoever diagnosed the OCD and TS - also

give him a dysgraphia diagnosis? had this dx too and it

made a difference for school. When his OCD began his writing really

worsened. With the writing, I actually worried he'd had some type

stroke or something that might have affected him, seemed so sudden.

So took him to a neurologist to rule that type thing out. The neuro

gave him the dysgraphia dx, so I'm not sure just " who " can give that

type diagnosis.

Quick definition of dysgraphia: People with this disorder have

difficulty with handwriting. Their writing is usually not legible and

not written at an age-appropriate speed. Problems might be seen in

the motor patterns used during writing, as well as difficulties with

spelling and written composition.

( was an A+ speller, ignore that part)

Anyway, we also had in his school 504 Plan that he couldn't get

graded on neatness. His writing was unreadable, but bless some of

those teachers who could read it because I couldn't. I don't know if

the school helped with this BECAUSE he had that diagnosis, or they

would have helped anyway without it. And they also couldn't grade

him on class notes, etc.

By the way, I also got a bit peeved when a teacher wrote a note about

neatness too and was going to go up to the school if I saw another

note about it.

But for the most part, the school was great. If a teacher couldn't

read it, they could just ask one who could I guess, but somehow his

work was accepted with no points off. The end-of-grade state writing

test where they had a prompt/topic and then had to write a story:

His teacher copied his story over again, exactly as he wrote it to

turn in.

So in your case I think I would call the school for a meeting. If he

doesn't have any type plan now, a 504 or an IEP, request that you

would like him to have one, what is the process, etc. I really would

get a Plan set up as this will follow him from teacher-to-teacher,

grade-to-grade.

So set up a meeting with his guidance counselor and teachers and go

over the messy writing problem (and any other stuff). Bring some of

those papers with you. If you feel he does better with a pencil, get

an accommodation that he can use a pencil and not have to use a pen.

(I wonder did they think using a pen would cut down on the erasing

problem??? it was worth a try) Maybe you can get those 30 points

back.

You might also request an OT evaluation by them if they want his

writing to improve, get them to test his fine & gross motor skills.

Quick thoughts this a.m.

in NC

**************One site has it all. Your email accounts, your social networks,

and the things you love. Try the new AOL.com

today!(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100000075x1212962939x1200825291/aol?redir=h\

ttp://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp

%26icid=aolcom40vanity%26ncid=emlcntaolcom00000001)

November 22, 2008

Hey Barb,

Actually Micah's in 6th grade, I dread Jr high given this experience. I only

have 2 teachers to worry about.

I've got 3 teachers that at first I tried to work with, but its down to one.

The others would never respond to my email, or requests. It's so

frustrating. Id pretty much given up on one of them, until the Fs started

rolling in for

neatness.

Computer....he knows his keyboard a little, but not enough to really use it.

I was thinking that over the summer I would get him some sort of software

that teaches keyboard.

I contacted the school counselor, she's also the 504 coordinator, which he

doesn't have in place yet. They were aware that we were awaiting the test

results. The school paid for none of the testing, even though they should have

at

least helped with some of it. They just told me it would take a long time to

line up, and thought it best if I do it myself.

I didn't tell the principal what was happening with this teacher...I don't

know if I should.

We had a meeting in Sept/Oct, that's when they agreed not to grade him on

neatness. Only 1 has followed through. We are definitely in need of that IEP or

504.

What do you do about a person that just doesn't think its a disability, but

bad behavior, I think that's the mountain we are climbing.

I'm still considering pulling him out of public school next year, I'm just

not sure if I'll be able to school him. Our town has no private schools.

Thanks for the support and kind words Barb....its nice to come here and

vent, and everyone know what I mean.

In a message dated 11/22/2008 9:44:38 A.M. Central Standard Time,

barbnesrallah@... writes:

Hi ,

Sorry you are going through this. It really is a different world

when they enter the jn high years with several different teachers to

please. It can be a full time job trying to advocate for your

child's needs. Some teachers will keep in touch by email, others

won't, but always worth a try.

A couple of thoughts. Can your son use a computer to type up his

work? Have you met with the principal to discuss things, or is there

a spec ed person you connect with. I found if I could find one

person on the inside on your side, who cared and had an understanding

of your child it is worth gold, they can advocate for you.

Can you request a meeting of all your son's teachers and outline your

concerns and ask for specific accomodations, guess you really need

the IEP to back this up though. I wished I had hired an independent

advocate, or psychologist to attend one of these meetings with me, as

I find they sit up and take notice when you do this. They are

required by law to meet your child's needs, but the reality often is

that they are so overburdened, underfunded that they really never can

meet all the needs of all the kids they face daily.

The more specific you can be about what would be most helpful, and

then follow up with each teacher, or spec ed person to make sure

things are in place. Regardless of all this you will always find the

few teachers who have their own viewpoint on things, that just don't

get it, and just won't mesh with your child's needs, those you just

survive and chalk up to life lessons.

I know how upsetting all this can be, when you have advocated and it

is not listened to and your son is being penalized for something he

can't help. It can be crazy making. Find your point of power in

this situation and try to be calm and neutral when talking with

teachers and others. I could never do this, I always felt frustrated

and angry because it seemed like such a pointless exercise. In our

case we should have pulled ours out and found an alternative, but at

the time we couldn't find a good one. Guess it depends on what all

the needs are and what can be provided. Our deciding point was

always based on emotional health more than academics.

Hang in there, hope others have some good suggestions.

Warmly,

Barb

**************One site has it all. Your email accounts, your social networks,

and the things you love. Try the new AOL.com

today!(http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100000075x1212962939x1200825291/aol?redir=h\

ttp://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp

%26icid=aolcom40vanity%26ncid=emlcntaolcom00000001)

November 22, 2008

, could his doctor - whoever diagnosed the OCD and TS - also

give him a dysgraphia diagnosis? had this dx too and it

made a difference for school. When his OCD began his writing really

worsened. With the writing, I actually worried he'd had some type

stroke or something that might have affected him, seemed so sudden.

So took him to a neurologist to rule that type thing out. The neuro

gave him the dysgraphia dx, so I'm not sure just " who " can give that

type diagnosis.

Quick definition of dysgraphia: People with this disorder have

difficulty with handwriting. Their writing is usually not legible and

not written at an age-appropriate speed. Problems might be seen in

the motor patterns used during writing, as well as difficulties with

spelling and written composition.

( was an A+ speller, ignore that part)

Anyway, we also had in his school 504 Plan that he couldn't get

graded on neatness. His writing was unreadable, but bless some of

those teachers who could read it because I couldn't. I don't know if

the school helped with this BECAUSE he had that diagnosis, or they

would have helped anyway without it. And they also couldn't grade

him on class notes, etc.

By the way, I also got a bit peeved when a teacher wrote a note about

neatness too and was going to go up to the school if I saw another

note about it.

But for the most part, the school was great. If a teacher couldn't

read it, they could just ask one who could I guess, but somehow his

work was accepted with no points off. The end-of-grade state writing

test where they had a prompt/topic and then had to write a story:

His teacher copied his story over again, exactly as he wrote it to

turn in.

So in your case I think I would call the school for a meeting. If he

doesn't have any type plan now, a 504 or an IEP, request that you

would like him to have one, what is the process, etc. I really would

get a Plan set up as this will follow him from teacher-to-teacher,

grade-to-grade.

So set up a meeting with his guidance counselor and teachers and go

over the messy writing problem (and any other stuff). Bring some of

those papers with you. If you feel he does better with a pencil, get

an accommodation that he can use a pencil and not have to use a pen.

(I wonder did they think using a pen would cut down on the erasing

problem??? it was worth a try) Maybe you can get those 30 points

back.

You might also request an OT evaluation by them if they want his

writing to improve, get them to test his fine & gross motor skills.

Quick thoughts this a.m.

>

> Micah brought his papers home today....he'd been collecting them

since the

> beginning of the school year. I finally asked, thinking the

teachers had them,

> but no....they were all crammed into his desk.

>

November 22, 2008