Re: current stressors and dealing with them...

[Guest guest]

I wish you all of the courage in the world to continue working

through the podcasts, the book, and all of the stresses you are

currently feeling.

I was off to a bad start with the holidays, but I am back on track

because you can't just give up. I have to self correct now. I let

myself get too hungry and then felt like eating every treat in sight.

My plan this holiday is to enjoy one or two good treats a day, but to

remember that they aren't going anywhere, and even if my favourite

dessert gets all eaten, it is possible to make more, and it will be

back again next Christmas. I always find myself so anxious when I

think I won't get a taste of my favourite dessert or food. I am

working at changing that.

So yes, this will be a hard time, but I will give myself a break and

enjoy the time with my family and friends. No sense in spending the

holidays feeling guilty. I am just going to make sure to ask my

stomach what will make it feel good in the long term, and give it

that!

Kirsten

>

> How is everyone doing with the holidays? how is everyone dealing

with

> change? I recently changed my living arrangements (from a house to

a

> trailer park) and it's been stressful. My DH has been keeping up a

> steady drone of micro-managing and fault finding and i finally told

> him to back off. That I was an adult, that he is not going to

change

> me at this late date in life, that I didn't deserve his constant

> criticism and to lighten up. It felt good to finally state my

> truth. Even though he never reacts the way I'd like, i.e. he

> redoubles his accusations and raises his voice.... It is hard to

> live with a control freak, but this is my reality at the moment.

>

> I am always more emotional around the holidays, and the stress of

my

> spouse's constant corrections plus living in more close quarters

have

> wrecked my good eating of the past couple months. I am telling

myself

> now that this is an opportunity to re-commit to taking action & to

be

> kind to myself first.

>

> said (forget which podcast) that " you can hate yourself

thin " ,

> and this is what I have done off and on for years, i.e very strict

> dieting, being happy with my lower weight, but it always results in

> periods of out-of-control eating to self-medicate into a food

coma!!!

>

> Pretty silly!!! However, I choose to reframe this into an

> opportunity to develop acceptance. Acceptance that we all have

> liabilities. Some liabilities are more easy to see than others,

and

> the hidden emotional ones are harder to recognize. Acceptance that

> if I want more peace and calm I must take responsibility for my

> eating habits and realize that self-medicating with food works

really

> well but at a HUGE COST!!... which I am no longer willing to pay.

>

> Acceptance that to try to fight reality is insane!! My reality is

> that I have to deal with a decent spouse who is a control freak. I

> sometimes cope with emotional eating. I will try to muster up some

> gratitude for possible liabilities that i DON'T have!!

>

> I got the book Shrink Yourself from recommendations of fellow IOWL

> yahoo group members. So a treat for myself is to DO THE WORK on

the

> podcasts and in S.Y. instead of worrying so much about taking care

of

> the DH so he won't blow a gasket. Altho I don't have easy internet

> access (have to go to the local library to log on) I am grateful I

> still can access you folks. Sure do appreciate you all. 'Bye for

> now!!!

> reninth

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Renith,

Thank you for your honesty, sharing with us. Good for you speaking up! I

wonder if this is his internal voice? Is this the voice he listens to all

day in his head?

I'm with you I have hated myself thing. Sad to say but I couldn't find not

one thing good about me! But with listening to the podcasts and

Morningcoach.com (one of my other favorite sites) and doing some serious

work on myself, I can say I really like myself. I am learning to deal

tenderly and compassionately with the fact that I am not perfect! I have met

my internal voice and thanked it as in 's guided journey.

Shrink yourself? I have never heard of it! What's it about?

I am sending you amazing intentions for being naturally thin, with resilient

health and deep contentment!

LE

> How is everyone doing with the holidays? how is everyone dealing with

> change? I recently changed my living arrangements (from a house to a

> trailer park) and it's been stressful. My DH has been keeping up a

> steady drone of micro-managing and fault finding and i finally told

> him to back off. That I was an adult, that he is not going to change

> me at this late date in life, that I didn't deserve his constant

> criticism and to lighten up. It felt good to finally state my

> truth. Even though he never reacts the way I'd like, i.e. he

> redoubles his accusations and raises his voice.... It is hard to

> live with a control freak, but this is my reality at the moment.

>

> I am always more emotional around the holidays, and the stress of my

> spouse's constant corrections plus living in more close quarters have

> wrecked my good eating of the past couple months. I am telling myself

> now that this is an opportunity to re-commit to taking action & to be

> kind to myself first.

>

> said (forget which podcast) that " you can hate yourself thin " ,

> and this is what I have done off and on for years, i.e very strict

> dieting, being happy with my lower weight, but it always results in

> periods of out-of-control eating to self-medicate into a food coma!!!

>

> Pretty silly!!! However, I choose to reframe this into an

> opportunity to develop acceptance. Acceptance that we all have

> liabilities. Some liabilities are more easy to see than others, and

> the hidden emotional ones are harder to recognize. Acceptance that

> if I want more peace and calm I must take responsibility for my

> eating habits and realize that self-medicating with food works really

> well but at a HUGE COST!!... which I am no longer willing to pay.

>

> Acceptance that to try to fight reality is insane!! My reality is

> that I have to deal with a decent spouse who is a control freak. I

> sometimes cope with emotional eating. I will try to muster up some

> gratitude for possible liabilities that i DON'T have!!

>

> I got the book Shrink Yourself from recommendations of fellow IOWL

> yahoo group members. So a treat for myself is to DO THE WORK on the

> podcasts and in S.Y. instead of worrying so much about taking care of

> the DH so he won't blow a gasket. Altho I don't have easy internet

> access (have to go to the local library to log on) I am grateful I

> still can access you folks. Sure do appreciate you all. 'Bye for

> now!!!

> reninth

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Renith --

I think your conclusions show a wonderful self-awareness. I give you

kudos for that! I want to add that, as I once said to an IOWL

member, I think those of us who struggle with weight issues/food

issues are terribly sensitive and often people around us have no idea

just how the smallest comment can affect us. But, as such, we have to

learn how to not allow those tiny comments to dictate our emotional

response.

Listening to has helped me a lot. Often, because I am 5'10 " ,

broad shouldered and muscular (and yes, over weight) people will

say " Oh, well you're just a BIG girl " and even though they may mean

well, it kills me. (Funny I was just going to say " you never hear

le Reese called a " big girl " and just googled her and found

out that her biography is called " Big Girl in the Middle " -- I may

have to buy that tonight!)

But comments like that and others used to play OVER and OVER and OVER

in my mind until I did some work and realized that it is reality that

I am 5'10 " and broad-shouldered and muscular. And maybe all people

really DO mean is that I am a big girl (no capital letters), and even

if they don't, the only power I have to affect that reality is to

find the strength inside to put the practices into place that can

minimize the " big " part -- so maybe they'll start saying " wow--

you're a STRONG girl -- instead. "

Also funny, when I had once reached my goal weight (white-knuckling

it), I remember being in the gym and some one on the eliptical

saying " wow, you have a fantastic body " and yet I never believed her,

because my limiting belief told me I'd never have a fantastic body. I

just remembered that today.

Anyway -- I digress, but I just wanted to say how much I appreciate

your post!

>

> > How is everyone doing with the holidays? how is everyone

dealing with

> > change? I recently changed my living arrangements (from a house

to a

> > trailer park) and it's been stressful. My DH has been keeping up a

> > steady drone of micro-managing and fault finding and i finally

told

> > him to back off. That I was an adult, that he is not going to

change

> > me at this late date in life, that I didn't deserve his constant

> > criticism and to lighten up. It felt good to finally state my

> > truth. Even though he never reacts the way I'd like, i.e. he

> > redoubles his accusations and raises his voice.... It is hard to

> > live with a control freak, but this is my reality at the moment.

> >

> > I am always more emotional around the holidays, and the stress of

my

> > spouse's constant corrections plus living in more close quarters

have

> > wrecked my good eating of the past couple months. I am telling

myself

> > now that this is an opportunity to re-commit to taking action &

to be

> > kind to myself first.

> >

> > said (forget which podcast) that " you can hate yourself

thin " ,

> > and this is what I have done off and on for years, i.e very strict

> > dieting, being happy with my lower weight, but it always results

in

> > periods of out-of-control eating to self-medicate into a food

coma!!!

> >

> > Pretty silly!!! However, I choose to reframe this into an

> > opportunity to develop acceptance. Acceptance that we all have

> > liabilities. Some liabilities are more easy to see than others,

and

> > the hidden emotional ones are harder to recognize. Acceptance that

> > if I want more peace and calm I must take responsibility for my

> > eating habits and realize that self-medicating with food works

really

> > well but at a HUGE COST!!... which I am no longer willing to pay.

> >

> > Acceptance that to try to fight reality is insane!! My reality is

> > that I have to deal with a decent spouse who is a control freak. I

> > sometimes cope with emotional eating. I will try to muster up some

> > gratitude for possible liabilities that i DON'T have!!

> >

> > I got the book Shrink Yourself from recommendations of fellow IOWL

> > yahoo group members. So a treat for myself is to DO THE WORK on

the

> > podcasts and in S.Y. instead of worrying so much about taking

care of

> > the DH so he won't blow a gasket. Altho I don't have easy internet

> > access (have to go to the local library to log on) I am grateful I

> > still can access you folks. Sure do appreciate you all. 'Bye for

> > now!!!

> > reninth

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Just a funny coincidence. When I read your reply, I was so excited to

learn that you listen to Morning Coach as well. I found that podcast

before 's and I really enjoy starting my day off with it. It

always makes me think about different things. I would recommend that

everyone listen to that podcast if they can.

Also a note about Shrink Yourself Thin. It is a fabulous book which

tackles the issue of emotional eating. It gives real examples of

clients and goes through different ways your mind fights with you. I

have nt completed all of the activities yet, but it seems like it

could be a very useful tool as well.

>

> > How is everyone doing with the holidays? how is everyone

dealing with

> > change? I recently changed my living arrangements (from a house

to a

> > trailer park) and it's been stressful. My DH has been keeping up a

> > steady drone of micro-managing and fault finding and i finally

told

> > him to back off. That I was an adult, that he is not going to

change

> > me at this late date in life, that I didn't deserve his constant

> > criticism and to lighten up. It felt good to finally state my

> > truth. Even though he never reacts the way I'd like, i.e. he

> > redoubles his accusations and raises his voice.... It is hard to

> > live with a control freak, but this is my reality at the moment.

> >

> > I am always more emotional around the holidays, and the stress of

my

> > spouse's constant corrections plus living in more close quarters

have

> > wrecked my good eating of the past couple months. I am telling

myself

> > now that this is an opportunity to re-commit to taking action &

to be

> > kind to myself first.

> >

> > said (forget which podcast) that " you can hate yourself

thin " ,

> > and this is what I have done off and on for years, i.e very strict

> > dieting, being happy with my lower weight, but it always results

in

> > periods of out-of-control eating to self-medicate into a food

coma!!!

> >

> > Pretty silly!!! However, I choose to reframe this into an

> > opportunity to develop acceptance. Acceptance that we all have

> > liabilities. Some liabilities are more easy to see than others,

and

> > the hidden emotional ones are harder to recognize. Acceptance that

> > if I want more peace and calm I must take responsibility for my

> > eating habits and realize that self-medicating with food works

really

> > well but at a HUGE COST!!... which I am no longer willing to pay.

> >

> > Acceptance that to try to fight reality is insane!! My reality is

> > that I have to deal with a decent spouse who is a control freak. I

> > sometimes cope with emotional eating. I will try to muster up some

> > gratitude for possible liabilities that i DON'T have!!

> >

> > I got the book Shrink Yourself from recommendations of fellow IOWL

> > yahoo group members. So a treat for myself is to DO THE WORK on

the

> > podcasts and in S.Y. instead of worrying so much about taking

care of

> > the DH so he won't blow a gasket. Altho I don't have easy internet

> > access (have to go to the local library to log on) I am grateful I

> > still can access you folks. Sure do appreciate you all. 'Bye for

> > now!!!

> > reninth

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>