Re: Hi Everyone. I'm new to this Group

October 6, 2008

Hi to Dina, Marcia, and BJ,

As I read your posts tonight I felt an overwhelming sense of relief

and I started to cry - because I (and my husband) have felt so alone

in dealing with our son. Thank you to all of you for taking time out

of your day to respond to my post. I appreciate all of you for being

so supportive. I empathize with the pain you feel, and it just helps

to know you're out there.

In answer to your questions, my son is 19 and while we have him

enrolled in our local junior college it has been very difficult for

us to get him out of bed most days. Just last year he was attending

part-time and seemed to be doing okay. He's a very talented artist

and also plays guitar - mostly self-taught (as he doesn't really read

music).

He's been in special ed since 2nd grade and did fairly well in school

until the last semester of his senior year when we finally had to

pull him out because the environment became too stressful for him.

It was then that he was diagnosed with possible schizophrenia or

bipolar and saw two different psychiatrists who tried him on several

different meds. and they all gave him terrible side effects. So he

refused to take them anymore. The docs kept thinking he was on drugs

and sending him to get his blood drawn but there was no sign of that

(and I could have told them that - he won't even take an aspirin!)

It was then that I enrolled him in two art classes at college to see

if that would be less stressful. He did very well except that he

would get stuck and had a hard time managing his time. He even had a

part-time job but was let go for those same reasons.

Since then the docs doubt he has schizophrenia but think he might

have bipolar. In the last two years the OCD behaviors have

worsened. When we pick him up at school he goes through different

rituals, sometimes walking around a tree and back and forth on the

grass and tapping one of the planters before he'll get in the car.

He doesn't want to use the restroom at school any more. We have to

get him up at least two hours before school so that he'll be ready in

time. He is constantly washing his hands, clothes and towels even

when they're not dirty. I finally had to hide a big stack of towels

so he wouldn't keep washing them. He won't eat in front of us any

more. And he's not talking. He stopped playing his guitar and

piano, and seldom draws (which is something he used to do

obsessively). He hoards and pulls things out of the garbage. I have

to say that in the past he always found creative things to do with

garbage! He used to love working in the garden - and I would find

that he had planted little plants inside old shoes or inside yogurt

or ice cream containers. He will get very upset if I try to throw

any of his garbage away so I have to do it when he's not around. I

could go on and on, as I'm sure all of you could too. It does help

to talk about it. Sorry to ramble. Thank you for bearing with me.

I am very interested in all of you and what you've been through.

Please write and I'm sorry if I ask you to repeat your stories as I

get to know each of you.

Oh, I did find someone who specializes in CBT and ERP and plan to

take him to her soon.

What are GAD thoughts?

Thanks again to all of you!!

Hugs,

Shari, in Calif.

> >

> > Hi,

> > My name is Shari and I'm new here. I've read a few of your

messages

> > and it's already been helpful. Someone mentioned " selective

mutism " -

> > and that was a term I didn't know. At least I'm feeling less

alone.

> > I have been so emotional lately - just crying at the drop of a

hat.

> > I just see my son slipping away before my eyes. And I feel like

it's

> > affecting my whole being. It's been difficult to focus on work

or

> > anything - and it seems my whole life is falling apart. I really

> > need some help. This is all so new to me. I had attributed much

of

> > my son's symptoms to bipolar or even schizophrenia, but even the

docs

> > weren't sure that's what it was. Now I don't know if his

symptoms

> > can all be linked to the OCD. It's this huge mystery - why he

was

> > functioning pretty well up until about two years ago. He was

pretty

> > touchy about eating in front of others and he had his rituals and

> > strange thoughts - kind of a circular thinking or something ---

but

> > now it seems he doesn't even want to get out of bed. And the

hardest

> > part -is that he seems oblivious to any of this and he's stopped

> > talking to us. I keep thinking it would be easier to take care

of a

> > baby in diapers - because now that he's 19 I can't just put him

in a

> > carseat and go take care of errands!

> >

> > So difficult to have a sense of humor. I could sure use a laugh.

> >

> > I hope there will come a point where I'll be able to help

others. At

> > this point I feel very overwhelmed. Any feedback would be

> > appreciated. Thank you.

> >

>

October 6, 2008

Hi Shari,

I only have a moment but I wanted to say that what you have described in

your posts sounds familiar and like many other posts I have read here.

I don't have experience with the particular things you describe, but

many here do. You are not alone! You can also post any questions to

the Dr's that participate on the list. Just put " Ask Dr. ________ "

(whoever you want the question directed to) in the subject line and it

will get forwarded by Louis.

Take care and I'm glad you found us.

Dina

October 7, 2008

Hi Jordana,

Thank you so much for taking time to post a response! Are there any

residential places you could recommend on the west coast? (any you've

heard of?)

Thanks again,

Shari

>

> > >

>

> > > Hi,

>

> > > My name is Shari and I'm new here. I've read a few of your

>

> messages

>

> > > and it's already been helpful. Someone mentioned " selective

>

> mutism " -

>

> > > and that was a term I didn't know. At least I'm feeling less

>

> alone.

>

> > > I have been so emotional lately - just crying at the drop of a

>

> hat.

>

> > > I just see my son slipping away before my eyes. And I feel

like

>

> it's

>

> > > affecting my whole being. It's been difficult to focus on work

>

> or

>

> > > anything - and it seems my whole life is falling apart. I

really

>

> > > need some help. This is all so new to me. I had attributed

much

>

> of

>

> > > my son's symptoms to bipolar or even schizophrenia, but even

the

>

> docs

>

> > > weren't sure that's what it was. Now I don't know if his

>

> symptoms

>

> > > can all be linked to the OCD. It's this huge mystery - why he

>

> was

>

> > > functioning pretty well up until about two years ago. He was

>

> pretty

>

> > > touchy about eating in front of others and he had his rituals

and

>

> > > strange thoug

> hts - kind of a circular thinking or something ---

>

> but

>

> > > now it seems he doesn't even want to get out of bed. And the

>

> hardest

>

> > > part -is that he seems oblivious to any of this and he's

stopped

>

> > > talking to us. I keep thinking it would be easier to take care

>

> of a

>

> > > baby in diapers - because now that he's 19 I can't just put him

>

> in a

>

> > > carseat and go take care of errands!

>

> > >

>

> > > So difficult to have a sense of humor. I could sure use a

laugh.

>

> > >

>

> > > I hope there will come a point where I'll be able to help

>

> others. At

>

> > > this point I feel very overwhelmed. Any feedback would be

>

> > > appreciated. Thank you.

>

> > >

>

> >

>

October 7, 2008

Hi Connie,

Thanks so much for your post. I'm heartened to know you saw such an

improvement with your son in therapy over the summer! That's

wonderful. Had a small breakthrough with my son this morning - and

I'm happy with any victory we can get. He was able to respond to more

of our questions by writing his answers down. I could see it was

difficult for him so I told him to take his time and just respond as

he felt comfortable, and I think that helped. For a while he had

been piling his clothes in the dining room - in several different

piles. He kept doing this until I would fold them up and put them

away in his room - but he kept washing his clothes after I'd already

washed them just as you said your son did. Do you mind my asking -

I'm curious what kinds of things your therapist suggested you do at

home? (We have been talking with the therapist - and we are deciding

which treatment would be best for him - inpatient or outpatient at

this point).

p.s. You mention your son had panic attacks. I was amazed the other

day - I had a mini-meltdown from feeling so overwhelmed - and

actually felt like I couldn't breathe. Fortunately my husband was

able to help me calm down. (I think it just got to me - how surreal

it all seemed to see my son going through this). Have you ever felt

that way?

I do feel for you - with what you've been through and I appreciate

you telling me about it. Take care Connie and thank you.

~Shari

(19 y/o son with bipolar, OCD, SM)

> >

> > Hi to Dina, Marcia, and BJ,

> >

> > As I read your posts tonight I felt an overwhelming sense of

relief

> > and I started to cry - because I (and my husband) have felt so

alone

> > in dealing with our son. Thank you to all of you for taking time

out

> > of your day to respond to my post. I appreciate all of you for

being

> > so supportive. I empathize with the pain you feel, and it just

helps

> > to know you're out there.

> >

> > In answer to your questions, my son is 19 and while we have him

> > enrolled in our local junior college it has been very difficult

for

> > us to get him out of bed most days. Just last year he was

attending

> > part-time and seemed to be doing okay. He's a very talented

artist

> > and also plays guitar - mostly self-taught (as he doesn't really

read

> > music).

> >

> > He's been in special ed since 2nd grade and did fairly well in

school

> > until the last semester of his senior year when we finally had to

> > pull him out because the environment became too stressful for him.

> > It was then that he was diagnosed with possible schizophrenia or

> > bipolar and saw two different psychiatrists who tried him on

several

> > different meds. and they all gave him terrible side effects. So

he

> > refused to take them anymore. The docs kept thinking he was on

drugs

> > and sending him to get his blood drawn but there was no sign of

that

> > (and I could have told them that - he won't even take an aspirin!)

> > It was then that I enrolled him in two art classes at college to

see

> > if that would be less stressful. He did very well except that he

> > would get stuck and had a hard time managing his time. He even

had a

> > part-time job but was let go for those same reasons.

> >

> > Since then the docs doubt he has schizophrenia but think he might

> > have bipolar. In the last two years the OCD behaviors have

> > worsened. When we pick him up at school he goes through different

> > rituals, sometimes walking around a tree and back and forth on the

> > grass and tapping one of the planters before he'll get in the car.

> > He doesn't want to use the restroom at school any more. We have

to

> > get him up at least two hours before school so that he'll be

ready in

> > time. He is constantly washing his hands, clothes and towels even

> > when they're not dirty. I finally had to hide a big stack of

towels

> > so he wouldn't keep washing them. He won't eat in front of us any

> > more. And he's not talking. He stopped playing his guitar and

> > piano, and seldom draws (which is something he used to do

> > obsessively). He hoards and pulls things out of the garbage. I

have

> > to say that in the past he always found creative things to do with

> > garbage! He used to love working in the garden - and I would find

> > that he had planted little plants inside old shoes or inside

yogurt

> > or ice cream containers. He will get very upset if I try to throw

> > any of his garbage away so I have to do it when he's not around.

I

> > could go on and on, as I'm sure all of you could too. It does

help

> > to talk about it. Sorry to ramble. Thank you for bearing with me.

> >

> > I am very interested in all of you and what you've been through.

> > Please write and I'm sorry if I ask you to repeat your stories as

I

> > get to know each of you.

> >

> > Oh, I did find someone who specializes in CBT and ERP and plan to

> > take him to her soon.

> >

> > What are GAD thoughts?

> >

> > Thanks again to all of you!!

> > Hugs,

> > Shari, in Calif.

>

October 8, 2008

Hi

Yes, it is mostly that - my son doesn't want to touch things for the

most part. I notice he keeps his hands clenched much of the time.

And when he touches things, he tries to do it with his elbow or foot -

like with doors and things like that. I'm not sure why he stopped

playing guitar. I used to love to hear him playing - I would just

sit back and close my eyes - it was so nice! He used to play it

obsessively - and could actually hear me play a song on the piano and

then play it by ear on his guitar. I really miss that - and I miss

him showing me his artwork... and mostly I miss his hugs. He doesn't

want to be touched anymore. Well, that just brings tears to my

eyes. Anyway, thanks for asking.

It's interesting what you said about your son - because I remember

back a few years ago when my son said he was having bad thoughts. He

was afraid that we would think badly of him and he was relieved that

we didn't.

The docs thought bipolar because of his extreme highs and lows like

you said. He also had told a school counselor he didn't want to live

anymore. That was tough. Thankfully he hasn't been that low since

then - now this mental illness seems to be manifesting differently

with his refusal to speak. I'm just wondering if he might need

inpatient care at this point - it seems his symptoms are so severe.

I'm sorry you've been going through so much with your son and with

your mom. Did your son ever get inpatient care or was it all

outpatient? What are some things he enjoys doing for fun? Lately my

son just sits around and watches t.v., and sometimes wanders out into

the garden. I just wonder why the OCD got so much worse so quickly!

Thanks again. I hope over time I won't be asking questions you've

already answered after I've gotten to know you.

Take care,

hugs,

Shari

> >

> > Hi to Dina, Marcia, and BJ,

> >

> > As I read your posts tonight I felt an overwhelming sense of

relief

> > and I started to cry - because I (and my husband) have felt so

> alone

> > in dealing with our son. Thank you to all of you for taking time

> out

> > of your day to respond to my post. I appreciate all of you for

>

October 8, 2008

http://www.ocfoundation.org/ocd-intensive-treatment-programs.html

I found the above link from the OC Foundation. Â Â I hope this helps!

Re: Hi Everyone. I'm new to this Group

Hi Jordana,

Thank you so much for taking time to post a response! Are there any

residential places you could recommend on the west coast? (any you've

heard of?)

Thanks again,

Shari

>

> > >

>

> > > Hi,

>

> > > My name is Shari and I'm new here. I've read a few of your

>

> messages

>

> > > and it's already been helpful. Someone mentioned " selective

>

> mutism " -

>

> > > and that was a term I didn't know. At least I'm feeling less

>

> alone.

>

> > > I have been so emotional lately - just crying at the drop o

f a

>

> hat.

>

> > > I just see my son slipping away before my eyes. And I feel

like

>

> it's

>

> > > affecting my whole being. It's been difficult to focus on work

>

> or

>

> > > anything - and it seems my whole life is falling apart. I

really

>

> > > need some help. This is all so new to me. I had attributed

much

>

> of

>

> > > my son's symptoms to bipolar or even schizophrenia, but even

the

>

> docs

>

> > > weren't sure that's what it was. Now I don't know if his

>

> symptoms

>

> > > can all be linked to the OCD. It's this huge mystery - why he

>

> was

>

> > > functioning pretty well up until about two years ago. He was

>

> pretty

>

> > > touchy about eating in front of others and he had his rituals

and

>

> > > strange thoug

> hts - kind of a circular thinking or something ---

>

> but

>

> > > now it seems he doesn't even want to get out of bed. And the

>

> hardest

>

> > > part -is that he seems oblivious to any of this and he's

stopped

>

> > > talking to us. I keep thinking it would be easier to take care

>

> of a

>

> > > baby in diapers - because now that he's 19 I can't just put him

>

> in a

>

> > > carseat and go take care of errands!

>

> > >

>

> > > So difficult to have a sense of humor. I could sure use a

laugh.

>

> > >

>

> > > I hope there will come a point where I'll be able to help

>

> others. At

>

> > > this point I feel very overwhelmed. Any feedback would be

>

> > > appreciated. Thank you.

>

> > >

>

> >

>

October 8, 2008

Shari, what medication is your son on? Â When my OCD was at it's worst and I was

basically nonfunctional and around your son's age, what really helped me

immensely and was a miracle was Anafranil. Â I personally still think it works

best, but that is just my personal experience.