unrealistic or optimistic

September 28, 2008

Kathy,

I'd definitely let her go. It could be very important for her to realize she

can do this and on her own. I think it was BJ who said " they're better when

they're away from the person who SAVES them " . This soooo true for my daughter

right now! She's doing well in school, and does fine when I'm not home. But as

soon as I walk in the door, " it " shows up.

This weekend, she got irritated because we were grilling out; she got all worked

up due to the carbon monoxide emissions from the charcoal and wouldn't go

outside. Fine, I told her, stay inside, but don't expect us to be worried about

it with you. We did make the concession of closing the patio door each time we

came in.

Well, then she decided to pull a pity party and throw in the teenage attitude

and sat on the couch going on about how we were all angry and didn't understand

how hard it was. When she does this, I get tough with her. I told her if she

was going to have a temper tantrum to go in her room, but I didn't listen to

whining. I promptly turned around, continued fixing supper, and ignored her.

Then she burst out " well, I've lost my appetite! " to which I replied again,

" Fine, but take your pity party in your room and when you can interact sensibly,

you may return " .

Well, she didn't go, but sat there " quietly " mumbling and sniffling. I

COMPLETELY ignored her, got supper on the table,etc. When I called everyone to

the table, she came, sat, and ate just fine, at which point I praised her.

We had our first therapy appt Friday,and her emotions have been close to the

surface since then. When she has to really talk about her fears and feelings is

when she's the most emotional; the outburst above came after she had to make her

" list " .

Our goal at this point is to get her on an even keel by January, because me and

her Dad will be gone to China for two weeks (we have adopted one little girl

from there and are bringing home a 3 year old in Jan.) and she and her 11-year

old brother will be staying with friends. But again, I think she'll be fine,

because I WON'T be there to fall back on, you know?

Debbie

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