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I am so sorry you are going through this.  The imp of the mind is an excellent

book talking about tape loops for treating obsessive thoughts.

I would email the experts on this board, Dr. Chansky and Dr. Wagner and also ask

for their advice.  They are wonderful.

I know your heart breaks for your son, but you are right in that it does get

better.  The key is just finding the right mix.  But what is obvious is that you

will not give up on your son, and that is key right there.

Kind Regards,

Subject: son falling apart

To:

Date: Tuesday, December 30, 2008, 9:24 AM

I have so much to write I don't even know where to start, except to say that I

know of no one personally who understands what it's really like to parent an OCD

child, and reading the posts on this list daily provides immense comfort that

people exist out there who really DO understand.? So I thank each and every one

of you profusely for posting and responding while I lurk, because I feel oh so

less alone in all this.

Xmas break has been hell.? My son (13) has been on a downward spiral since the

week before xmas and its going from bad to worse.? The pdoc took him off of his

Abilify due to the side effects (voracious appetite and bedwetting). ? The first

week off, he became depressed and withdrawn, refusing to do school work and

obsessing constantly about what he might or might not be getting for christmas.?

We were worried, so filled the prescription for Inderal we were given.? Things

went from bad to worse, with daily meltdowns, property destruction, verbal abuse

and last night, physically attacking me.? The pdoc agreed to put him back on the

Abilify (he is also on 50 mg of Celexa) and it is my one last glimmer of hope

that this will put him back on track.? Meanwhile, I am scared out of my mind for

him, our family is being traumatized daily.? His 10 year old brother (not OCD)

pulled a knife on him last week and had a breakdown afterwards because he can't

take living

with his brother's OCD and the chaos it causes our family.? We are looking for

a therapist for him.? My OCD son's therapist keeps reminding me that the rough

spots do smooth out...But what I remember is how bad they can get.? This time

last year my son developed panic attacks at school, which eventually resulted in

school refusal, a major depressive episode, and 2 hopitalizations. ?? To his

credit, the current therapist got my son back on track to finish out the school

year, and my son has not only missed zero days of 7th grade, but got on the

honor role last term.? But now he keeps saying that my son's OCD is mostly

internal obsessive thought that is difficult to access and treat, and much more

tricky than physical rituals to tackle like hand washing.? I am beginning to

wonder if this is because the therapist doesn't really know how to treat

obsessive thinking.? I seem to remember over the years of others with great

therapists talking about ERP for

obsessive thought with out ritual.? His current tactic is using CBT, for my son

to try and catch himself before the o

bsessive negative thoughts overwhelm him, and try to think of a different way he

can look at a situation. My son is usually triggered by feeling he is being

treated unfairly, or by feeling he doesn't have enough time.? Seems like there

ought to be some ERP for this, but I don't know what it is!!!? He is also talks

about trying to get my son to tolerate " discomfort " produced by his anxiety,but

not in a concrete way.?

Sorry this post is so long.? I guess I have been storing it up. I know you all

alone know the fear and grief I am experiencing. ? It sort of feels like finding

out the cancer you thought was in remission is now back, and you have to go

through another round of chemo, only hoping that things will turn out better

this time, but not ever knowing...

- in MI

--

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Hi . I just have a quick question. Why did the pdoc put him back on

Abilify instead of trying one of the other atypicals like Seroquel, Risperdal,

or Geodon? The side effects can be quite different for each one, yet you may get

the same desired effect from them. Good luck, Stormy

Subject: son falling apart

To:

Date: Tuesday, December 30, 2008, 6:24 AM

I have so much to write I don't even know where to start, except to say that I

know of no one personally who understands what it's really like to parent an OCD

child, and reading the posts on this list daily provides immense comfort that

people exist out there who really DO understand.? So I thank each and every one

of you profusely for posting and responding while I lurk, because I feel oh so

less alone in all this.

Xmas break has been hell.? My son (13) has been on a downward spiral since the

week before xmas and its going from bad to worse.? The pdoc took him off of his

Abilify due to the side effects (voracious appetite and bedwetting). ? The first

week off, he became depressed and withdrawn, refusing to do school work and

obsessing constantly about what he might or might not be getting for christmas.?

We were worried, so filled the prescription for Inderal we were given.? Things

went from bad to worse, with daily meltdowns, property destruction, verbal abuse

and last night, physically attacking me.? The pdoc agreed to put him back on the

Abilify (he is also on 50 mg of Celexa) and it is my one last glimmer of hope

that this will put him back on track.? Meanwhile, I am scared out of my mind for

him, our family is being traumatized daily.? His 10 year old brother (not OCD)

pulled a knife on him last week and had a breakdown afterwards because he can't

take living

with his brother's OCD and the chaos it causes our family.? We are looking for

a therapist for him.? My OCD son's therapist keeps reminding me that the rough

spots do smooth out...But what I remember is how bad they can get.? This time

last year my son developed panic attacks at school, which eventually resulted in

school refusal, a major depressive episode, and 2 hopitalizations. ?? To his

credit, the current therapist got my son back on track to finish out the school

year, and my son has not only missed zero days of 7th grade, but got on the

honor role last term.? But now he keeps saying that my son's OCD is mostly

internal obsessive thought that is difficult to access and treat, and much more

tricky than physical rituals to tackle like hand washing.? I am beginning to

wonder if this is because the therapist doesn't really know how to treat

obsessive thinking.? I seem to remember over the years of others with great

therapists talking about ERP for

obsessive thought with out ritual.? His current tactic is using CBT, for my son

to try and catch himself before the o

bsessive negative thoughts overwhelm him, and try to think of a different way he

can look at a situation. My son is usually triggered by feeling he is being

treated unfairly, or by feeling he doesn't have enough time.? Seems like there

ought to be some ERP for this, but I don't know what it is!!!? He is also talks

about trying to get my son to tolerate " discomfort " produced by his anxiety,but

not in a concrete way.?

Sorry this post is so long.? I guess I have been storing it up. I know you all

alone know the fear and grief I am experiencing. ? It sort of feels like finding

out the cancer you thought was in remission is now back, and you have to go

through another round of chemo, only hoping that things will turn out better

this time, but not ever knowing...

- in MI

--

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,

I can't advise on the medication aspect. But I can certainly

sympathize with the anger that comes from having this disease turn

what should be a happy family/holiday break into a living hell.

My only advice is to go into survival mode and do what you need to to

protect your 10 year old. I grew up with a bipolar sister and I worry

what harm comes to my daughter from having to cope with my son's

issues. It certainly makes it hard to trust your sibling, since you're

never sure whether you're dealing with Jekyl or Hyde. So go easy on

your 10 year old and arrange for as much time with his friends as you

can. This will not only protect him, but also give you more energy to

focus on one child at a time. You can worry about improving family

dynamics once your older son is stable again. If you're having trouble

coping, it can only be that much harder for a child who has less

coping skills and less control over his life in general than an adult

does.

It may help to know that eventually things will get better. But of

course, right this moment you're not sure how you can make it through

another day. Just remind yourself that bedtime always, eventually,

comes. Keep us posted.

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Hi , I'm so sorry he's backsliding so bad!!

I think I see what the therapist is talking about. Regarding

tolerating the discomfort of his anxiety, your son needing to " ride

it out " until the anxiety lessens/passes? About being treated

unfairly or not having enough time, I understand about trying to look

at it from another perspective. (The " unfairly " part could be the

teen hormones kicking in; though kids any age can go thru that;

perhaps therapist is looking at that not as part of OCD?) But if

that's not helping/working, seems he may need to take another tactic

with your son. Logic won't work with OCD.

For thoughts, personally I think you have to just find what works

with the patient. For me, distraction works, but then I understand

it's an OCD thought and I don't get too much anxiety. I think

generally with OCD the person has to think the thoughts (not do any

compulsion they have to reduce anxiety) and ride out the anxiety,

sort of finally getting to the point where they have no anxiety with

the thought(s). Some people have done well with the method in " Brain

Lock " (Relabel, Reattribute, Refocus, Revalue).

Does your son have any insight at all regarding OCD, bad thoughts, or

that he's obsessing on all this?

So sorry, too, about little brother! Is he seeing a therapist to

help him cope? I would suggest some family therapy with the OCD

therapist, might help, or seeing little brother alone some too. Was

13 yr old raging at or bothering 10 yr old when the incident happened?

Sigh, my other sons got fed up with 's OCD but he wasn't

having any outbursts towards others, tears over his OCD, etc, but

's OCD didn't really affect them (besides keeping them up

later, me not having time for them due to time took, etc.)

Did your son wean down on the Abilify before stopping? Hope going

back on it helps soon!

(((hugs)))

>

>

> I have so much to write I don't even know where to start, except

to say that I know of no one personally who understands what it's

really like to parent an OCD child, and reading the posts on this

list daily provides immense comfort that people exist out there who

really DO understand.? So I thank each and every one of you profusely

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Share on other sites

, I can't really add anything to what others have shared. Just

wanted to say I'm sorry things are going so badly right now. I hope

and pray you can get things turned around soon.

BJ

>

>

> I have so much to write I don't even know where to start, except to

say that I know of no one personally who understands what it's really

like to parent an OCD child, and reading the posts on this list daily

provides immense comfort that people exist out there who really DO

understand.? So I thank each and every one of you profusely for

posting and responding while I lurk, because I feel oh so less alone

in all this.

>

> Xmas break has been hell.? My son (13) has been on a downward spiral

since the week before xmas and its going from bad to worse.? The pdoc

took him off of his Abilify due to the side effects (voracious

appetite and bedwetting).? The first week off, he became depressed and

withdrawn, refusing to do school work and obsessing constantly about

what he might or might not be getting for christmas.? We were worried,

so filled the prescription for Inderal we were given.? Things went

from bad to worse, with daily meltdowns, property destruction, verbal

abuse and last night, physically attacking me.? The pdoc agreed to put

him back on the Abilify (he is also on 50 mg of Celexa) and it is my

one last glimmer of hope that this will put him back on track.?

Meanwhile, I am scared out of my mind for him, our family is being

traumatized daily.? His 10 year old brother (not OCD) pulled a knife

on him last week and had a breakdown afterwards because he can't take

living with his brother's OCD and the chaos it causes our family.? We

are looking for a therapist for him.? My OCD son's therapist keeps

reminding me that the rough spots do smooth out...But what I remember

is how bad they can get.? This time last year my son developed panic

attacks at school, which eventually resulted in school refusal, a

major depressive episode, and 2 hopitalizations.?? To his credit, the

current therapist got my son back on track to finish out the school

year, and my son has not only missed zero days of 7th grade, but got

on the honor role last term.? But now he keeps saying that my son's

OCD is mostly internal obsessive thought that is difficult to access

and treat, and much more tricky than physical rituals to tackle like

hand washing.? I am beginning to wonder if this is because the

therapist doesn't really know how to treat obsessive thinking.? I seem

to remember over the years of others with great therapists talking

about ERP for obsessive thought with out ritual.? His current tactic

is using CBT, for my son to try and catch himself before the o

>

> bsessive negative thoughts overwhelm him, and try to think of a

different way he can look at a situation. My son is usually triggered

by feeling he is being treated unfairly, or by feeling he doesn't have

enough time.? Seems like there ought to be some ERP for this, but I

don't know what it is!!!? He is also talks about trying to get my son

to tolerate " discomfort " produced by his anxiety,but not in a concrete

way.?

>

> Sorry this post is so long.? I guess I have been storing it up. I

know you all alone know the fear and grief I am experiencing.? It sort

of feels like finding out the cancer you thought was in remission is

now back, and you have to go through another round of chemo, only

hoping that things will turn out better this time, but not ever knowing...

>

> - in MI

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> --

>

>

>

>

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