Re: Cheating on tests

[Guest guest]

Nope.  That's just OCD.  I would imagine that all kids now and then glance at

someone else's paper and sometimes even go so far as writing down an answer that

they couldn't remember.  The only reason you know about it is because he has

the OCD need to " confess " .   Just remind him that he could get into trouble if

he does this, and drop it.

Cheating on tests

Hi Everyone, I want to start by saying that my son is doing much

better... probably a 2 on the OCD scale of 10 (he has been a

consistent 6 thru 8 for the past 4 years)! I don't want to jinx it

though, and am bracing myself for the ebb and flow. His reassurance

seeking has gone waaayyy down, but last week he came home from high

school where he had just taken a test and confessed (because of his

OCD) that he had looked at someone else's test a few times to be

'reassured' that he, himself, had the right answers. Because of his

need to tell me the truth about things he has done wrong, I believe

him. I believe that he only looked to compare his answers as he

needed to be reassured. But, obviously, this is wrong in that he

ethically shouldn't be doing this. If he gets caught, I really don't

know what he will say to

the teacher, and think he will just have to

take the heat. It's a scenario that I hadn't envisioned, and I'm not

sure how to handle it. He's a smart kid, but there could be more than

OCD going on here. This may be yet another gray area.

[Guest guest]

Hi, I'm just thinking what I'd have done here. is

so " scrupulous " about stuff. Though overall, 3 sons beyond high school

now. Well - he knows he's done wrong (so he confessed). So - I would

have asked what he'd have done if he did see a different answer on

other paper - would he have changed his? (answer probably " no " )

Discuss a bit (as you two did).... Include possible consequences if

does again and teacher was to see, think cheating.... LOL, But

STRONGLY say " don't do again " (just saw I said " IF does again...) Try

to find out, in discussion, if he felt OCD was part of it; he may not

be sure. And then let it drop.

When was in the grades that would have some of the math problem

answers in the back of the book to check your answers (like answers to

even problems), he wouldn't use them because it was " cheating. " He

eventually let me look back there but HE could not, most I could do was

tell him if it was wrong (or if helping, see if my own answer was

right/wrong).

OCD can go lots of ways, never know what it might affect, sigh!

>

> Hi Everyone, I want to start by saying that my son is doing much

> better... probably a 2 on the OCD scale of 10 (he has been a

> consistent 6 thru 8 for the past 4 years)! I don't want to jinx it

> though, and am bracing myself for the ebb and flow. His reassurance

> seeking has gone waaayyy down, but last week he came home from high

> school where he had just taken a test and confessed (because of his

> OCD) that he had looked at someone else's test a few times to be

> 'reassured' that he, himself, had the right answers. Because of his

[Guest guest]

Yeah!!! I'm glad he's doing so much better. Is this because of CBT,

or something else? Do share.

I think this is pretty common impulse for many, and with the OCD

probably a strong urge to be " sure " /reassured. Guess it would be a

problem if he was caught though, so best to remind him of this

consequence and encourage him to live with the " doubt " of not being

sure, as everyone has to until you get the test back.

So happy for you that things have improved so much!

Warmly,

Barb

>

> Hi Everyone, I want to start by saying that my son is doing much

> better... probably a 2 on the OCD scale of 10 (he has been a

> consistent 6 thru 8 for the past 4 years)! I don't want to jinx it

> though, and am bracing myself for the ebb and flow. His reassurance

> seeking has gone waaayyy down, but last week he came home from high

> school where he had just taken a test and confessed (because of his

> OCD) that he had looked at someone else's test a few times to be

> 'reassured' that he, himself, had the right answers. Because of his

> need to tell me the truth about things he has done wrong, I believe

> him. I believe that he only looked to compare his answers as he

> needed to be reassured. But, obviously, this is wrong in that he

> ethically shouldn't be doing this. If he gets caught, I really don't

> know what he will say to the teacher, and think he will just have to

> take the heat. It's a scenario that I hadn't envisioned, and I'm not

> sure how to handle it. He's a smart kid, but there could be more than

> OCD going on here. This may be yet another gray area.

>

[Guest guest]

I guess you could say it was a combo of CBT with Xanax that made him

get better. Besides the intense reassurance seeking, my son had

debilitating fears of my husband and I getting in a car accident and

so could never be left alone. This fall, we more or less forced him

to stay alone more, first with small, short excursions, then with

bigger, longer ones. With the bigger ones, we gave him a few Xanax to

help him cope. Well, not only did he cope, but he was overcome with

joy that he could stay alone without panic and it truly strengthened

him. With Xanax, we then left him alone 3 more times, all with no

panic attacks (he used to call us 5 times in an hour, when we were

just say, at his school open house, 1 mile away). It has been

amazing to see the trickle down effect, where this has given him so

much more confidence academically and socially. He still has small

signs of anxiety/OCD but nowhere near where it was. So, Xanax as

needed, NOT every day - and 'tough love' is what helped. Oh, of

course, the right dose of the right SSRI (Prozac for him) and Focalin

for his ADHD has also helped tremendously.

Barb, you experienced your son getting better for a long time, and

then, have I read that he is slipping? Forgive me, if I have mixed up

stories, but I am so dreading the slippage. It's only been 2 months

of being well for my son and it has been beyond wonderful, but I so

fear the return.