Re: So scared - I think it's time for meds

[Guest guest]

,

The poor boy ... I can't imagine what our kids have to go through at such a

young age.  It doesn't seem fair.

Why does the psychiatrist not take insurance and/or isn't there one you could go

to in your insurance plan?  That seems like an awful lot of money for just three

visits.

 

I wouldn't be scared of medicating your son.  My son also took the Native

Remedies and we felt like, let's try it first and if it works ... great and if

not, at least we know.  There are tons and tons of people who have been

successful with meds and you never hear about them because they are doing so

well! 

Kind Regards,

in TN

Subject: So scared - I think it's time for meds

To:

Date: Thursday, December 11, 2008, 10:18 AM

Hi everyone,

Some of you may remember me. I posted a few weeks ago about my 9 yr

old son who was crying at school. He gets an OCD thought that tells

him to cry, and he does - several times a day. He had been doing so

well. He even had a couple of weeks with no tears at all. He was so

happy and proud of himself, I saw his self confidence coming back.

Then my dad passed away on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. My son

seemed to really take it well, and I truly believe he was OK with

it.

(My dad was 90 and we knew he was dying, so we all had time to

prepare). I think the problem was that he missed so much school -

first for Thanksgiving, then two days for the funeral, then he got

sick

and missed the rest of the week. He was a nervous wreck going back

to

school this past Monday. He cried a few times that day, but made it

through. Tuesday and Wednesday were great.

Then came this morning. He woke up and started crying, saying the

thoughts were telling him to cry. I just don't understand it - he's

sobbing and saying " I don't want to cry. " He cried so hard that he

threw up 5 times. I made him go to school anyway, because I don't

want

him to think he can stay home just because he cried so hard and threw

up (Is that awful? I don't know.) He said he hates the mornings,

because he hates leaving me. I dropped him off at school, and he was

crying as he got out of the car. The nurse called me 10 minutes

later,

asking if he really threw up that morning. I told her what happened,

and she understood why I sent him to school.

The nurse told me that he's been going to see her everyday

for " silly "

things. He's also been going to the bathroom a lot, going to the

guidance counselor a lot, and being very fidgety in the classroom.

Sure, because he's so nervous. He's a very bright kid, and is doing

just fine in all his classwork and tests, so I'm not concerned there.

His therapist has been teaching him to talk back to the thoughts and

externalize them. He says it's just so hard. He's also been trying

to

count to 100, but he says that's not working anymore. He just can't

hold back the tears no matter how hard he tries. I guess the

obsession

is the thought of crying, and the compulsion is the actual crying.

How

do you stop this?

I just can't take much more, because I can't get anything done. I'm

on

pins and needles all day, because the school is always calling me.

So

I called a pediatric psychiatrist this morning, and scheduled an

appointment for Dec. 24. The first appointment is for my husband and

me, the second appointment is for my son, and the third appointment

is

for all three of us. They don't accept any insurance, and it's $900

for the three appointments. I don't know how we're going to do this.

I'm so afraid of the thought of medicating him. His therapist

suggested just giving him something " as needed, " because once he's

home

from school, he's fine. Does anyone here give their kids something

only when needed?

I hate this so much. He was doing so well, and I was so hopeful, but

when he's bad like this, I have trouble staying hopeful. I just want

it to all go away.

Sorry this is so long. Thanks for listening.

[Guest guest]

,

The poor boy ... I can't imagine what our kids have to go through at such a

young age.  It doesn't seem fair.

Why does the psychiatrist not take insurance and/or isn't there one you could go

to in your insurance plan?  That seems like an awful lot of money for just three

visits.

 

I wouldn't be scared of medicating your son.  My son also took the Native

Remedies and we felt like, let's try it first and if it works ... great and if

not, at least we know.  There are tons and tons of people who have been

successful with meds and you never hear about them because they are doing so

well! 

Kind Regards,

in TN

Subject: So scared - I think it's time for meds

To:

Date: Thursday, December 11, 2008, 10:18 AM

Hi everyone,

Some of you may remember me. I posted a few weeks ago about my 9 yr

old son who was crying at school. He gets an OCD thought that tells

him to cry, and he does - several times a day. He had been doing so

well. He even had a couple of weeks with no tears at all. He was so

happy and proud of himself, I saw his self confidence coming back.

Then my dad passed away on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. My son

seemed to really take it well, and I truly believe he was OK with

it.

(My dad was 90 and we knew he was dying, so we all had time to

prepare). I think the problem was that he missed so much school -

first for Thanksgiving, then two days for the funeral, then he got

sick

and missed the rest of the week. He was a nervous wreck going back

to

school this past Monday. He cried a few times that day, but made it

through. Tuesday and Wednesday were great.

Then came this morning. He woke up and started crying, saying the

thoughts were telling him to cry. I just don't understand it - he's

sobbing and saying " I don't want to cry. " He cried so hard that he

threw up 5 times. I made him go to school anyway, because I don't

want

him to think he can stay home just because he cried so hard and threw

up (Is that awful? I don't know.) He said he hates the mornings,

because he hates leaving me. I dropped him off at school, and he was

crying as he got out of the car. The nurse called me 10 minutes

later,

asking if he really threw up that morning. I told her what happened,

and she understood why I sent him to school.

The nurse told me that he's been going to see her everyday

for " silly "

things. He's also been going to the bathroom a lot, going to the

guidance counselor a lot, and being very fidgety in the classroom.

Sure, because he's so nervous. He's a very bright kid, and is doing

just fine in all his classwork and tests, so I'm not concerned there.

His therapist has been teaching him to talk back to the thoughts and

externalize them. He says it's just so hard. He's also been trying

to

count to 100, but he says that's not working anymore. He just can't

hold back the tears no matter how hard he tries. I guess the

obsession

is the thought of crying, and the compulsion is the actual crying.

How

do you stop this?

I just can't take much more, because I can't get anything done. I'm

on

pins and needles all day, because the school is always calling me.

So

I called a pediatric psychiatrist this morning, and scheduled an

appointment for Dec. 24. The first appointment is for my husband and

me, the second appointment is for my son, and the third appointment

is

for all three of us. They don't accept any insurance, and it's $900

for the three appointments. I don't know how we're going to do this.

I'm so afraid of the thought of medicating him. His therapist

suggested just giving him something " as needed, " because once he's

home

from school, he's fine. Does anyone here give their kids something

only when needed?

I hate this so much. He was doing so well, and I was so hopeful, but

when he's bad like this, I have trouble staying hopeful. I just want

it to all go away.

Sorry this is so long. Thanks for listening.

[Guest guest]

I know it's hard to see right now but the bright times will be back.

Really, they will! Your son will conquer this current bout with OCD and

you'll look back and be so relieved that those days have passed!

My 9-year-old still has her OCD thoughts and behaviors but they are SO

much better than they were 11 months ago (knock on wood!). In fact, I

look back at my emails from that time and think, " Wow. I can't believe

how good she's doing now! She had such a hard time! "

Kate held it together at school (for the most part) but fell apart at home

.. . . every single day . . .

Good luck with this . . . hang in there!

Beth

>>>I hate this so much. He was doing so well, and I was so hopeful, but

when he's bad like this, I have trouble staying hopeful. I just want

it to all go away.

[Guest guest]

We are in month 5 of OCD and things are starting to calm a bit. Things aren't so

emergency like as they were before. I credit that to the medication enabling her

to do the necessary work.

 

She still has thoughts, and there are bad days, but for the most part she is

able to fight them and not let them escalate to far by using the CBT.  Her mind

doesn't seem as susceptible to suggestions/triggers right now either.

 

She has even laughed at her OCD recently.  That is huge. 

 

It took a bit to find the right med, but the benefits have outweighed the

struggles with meds.  My daughter has a bit of peace in her life, and that is

worth anything we have had to go through to get there.

 

Hang in there. I know it's rough!!  You will get through this though. These

people here told me my daughter and I would make it, and they were right. You

will make it through as well.  One situation at a time.

[Guest guest]

Hi, . So sorry for your loss. Even when you know it is coming,

it is still hard. ( My father has Alzheimers and his time is

getting short, we can tell, yet I know when he goes, my heart will be

broken. . Yet, also happy for him that he is no longer suffering.

<sigh> ((((hugs to you))))

It's so hard to know how it might have affected your son. With OCD,

sometimes the tiniest thing will set them off, yet this was a huge

thing for him to lose grandpa. I know our son's OCD will flare up

over a cold, or something relatively minor, then other times when it's

huge, like when he had to have emergency surgery, he took it in

stride, while I sat there bracing myself for the worst that never came.

Our son has taken something only when needed. But, he was also taking

an antidepressant. We were waiting for the antidepressant to work,

which can take time, and he took Klonipin, as needed, in the mean

time. It is an anti-anxiety medication. I wonder if that is what the

psychiatrist is talking about. It lowers the anxiety the body feels,

and for some can make the anxious feelings go away. But, it will not

remove the OCD thoughts. The antidepressant has removed thoughts for

our son, but not all of them, and it took time (months). The thoughts

it didn't remove, tended to be less intense and easier to handle or

ignore too. That is where the therapy came in. The medication took

the intensity out of it all, so the therapy was easier to do, and

accomplish.

If you are really concerned about meds, you could try some of the

natural stuff first, like recommended, to see if it helps.

Inositol is another thing some have tried that has helped.

We were unaware of it when our son went on meds the first time. And I

was a wreck giving them to him, wondering what kind of irreversible

damage I was doing to him. Yet, it turned out to be a blessing for

him, as he improved and got his life back. We all did. He was 10 (I

think) the first time he went on meds. He is now 16, and on

medication again, after going off for 8 months and relapsing hard, but

doing well now. He has a few side effects, but the benefit outweighs

them by far.

As far as payment to the psychiatrist, will your insurance reimburse

you? We were in a similar situation here. But, once we met our HUGE

deductible ($1500), for using out of network, our insurance would

cover it. We just had to submit the bills to them for reimbursement.

Hopefully your deductible isn't as horrendous as ours.

One thing to remember. . Most insurance companies will limit the

amount of appointments you can have yearly, and for lifetime. They

usually count psychiatry and therapy together towards your allotment.

We talked to the psychiatrist to have them work with our family

doctor concerning meds. That way we didn't have to use up too many

appointments with the psychiatrist and could save them for actual

therapy. Just something we learned along the way.

Again, very sorry for your loss. I'm sure this is all getting harder

for you to deal with too, now that you are grieving too. Try to find

some time for yourself too.

Hugs,

BJ

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> Some of you may remember me. I posted a few weeks ago about my 9 yr

> old son who was crying at school. He gets an OCD thought that tells

> him to cry, and he does - several times a day. He had been doing so

> well. He even had a couple of weeks with no tears at all. He was so

> happy and proud of himself, I saw his self confidence coming back.

>

> Then my dad passed away on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. My son

> seemed to really take it well, and I truly believe he was OK with

> it.

> (My dad was 90 and we knew he was dying, so we all had time to

> prepare). I think the problem was that he missed so much school -

> first for Thanksgiving, then two days for the funeral, then he got

> sick

> and missed the rest of the week. He was a nervous wreck going back

> to

> school this past Monday. He cried a few times that day, but made it

> through. Tuesday and Wednesday were great.

>

> Then came this morning. He woke up and started crying, saying the

> thoughts were telling him to cry. I just don't understand it - he's

> sobbing and saying " I don't want to cry. " He cried so hard that he

> threw up 5 times. I made him go to school anyway, because I don't

> want

> him to think he can stay home just because he cried so hard and threw

> up (Is that awful? I don't know.) He said he hates the mornings,

> because he hates leaving me. I dropped him off at school, and he was

> crying as he got out of the car. The nurse called me 10 minutes

> later,

> asking if he really threw up that morning. I told her what happened,

> and she understood why I sent him to school.

>

> The nurse told me that he's been going to see her everyday

> for " silly "

> things. He's also been going to the bathroom a lot, going to the

> guidance counselor a lot, and being very fidgety in the classroom.

> Sure, because he's so nervous. He's a very bright kid, and is doing

> just fine in all his classwork and tests, so I'm not concerned there.

>

> His therapist has been teaching him to talk back to the thoughts and

> externalize them. He says it's just so hard. He's also been trying

> to

> count to 100, but he says that's not working anymore. He just can't

> hold back the tears no matter how hard he tries. I guess the

> obsession

> is the thought of crying, and the compulsion is the actual crying.

> How

> do you stop this?

>

> I just can't take much more, because I can't get anything done. I'm

> on

> pins and needles all day, because the school is always calling me.

> So

> I called a pediatric psychiatrist this morning, and scheduled an

> appointment for Dec. 24. The first appointment is for my husband and

> me, the second appointment is for my son, and the third appointment

> is

> for all three of us. They don't accept any insurance, and it's $900

> for the three appointments. I don't know how we're going to do this.

>

> I'm so afraid of the thought of medicating him. His therapist

> suggested just giving him something " as needed, " because once he's

> home

> from school, he's fine. Does anyone here give their kids something

> only when needed?

>

> I hate this so much. He was doing so well, and I was so hopeful, but

> when he's bad like this, I have trouble staying hopeful. I just want

> it to all go away.

>

> Sorry this is so long. Thanks for listening.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, Kathy, I'm so very glad for you!!!!

It's such a relief when life becomes a little more towards what some

would consider normal.

It was about 6 months into the meds that we really noticed it hit it's

full potential for Josh, and he no longer had to supplement with the

anti-anxiety medication. So, hopefully, it will get even better yet,

for Joei.

I'm so glad you shared. That is such encouragement for those who are

still struggling. ) It gives one hope to see that others have made

it to a better place.

BJ

>

> We are in month 5 of OCD and things are starting to calm a bit.

Things aren't so emergency like as they were before. I credit that to

the medication enabling her to do the necessary work.

>  

> She still has thoughts, and there are bad days, but for the most

part she is able to fight them and not let them escalate to far by

using the CBT.  Her mind doesn't seem as susceptible to

suggestions/triggers right now either.

>  

> She has even laughed at her OCD recently.  That is huge. 

>  

> It took a bit to find the right med, but the benefits have

outweighed the struggles with meds.  My daughter has a bit of peace in

her life, and that is worth anything we have had to go through to get

there.

>  

> Hang in there. I know it's rough!!  You will get through this

though. These people here told me my daughter and I would make it, and

they were right. You will make it through as well.  One situation at a

time.

>

>

[Guest guest]

HI BJ,

Thanks for your sympathies. My dad also had Alzheimer's, probably

stage 5 or 6, when he broke his hip. He died three weeks later. I'm

sorry you're going through the same thing with your dad. It's

extremely difficult to see them slipping away. In a way, I'm glad he

went the way he did, because he still knew all of us, and we all got

to say our goodbyes. Just still so sad.

As far as our insurance, they will reimburse 50% of the reasonable

and customary charges. We have to submit the bills after we've paid

them. We're in NJ, so I know the rates are higher here then in other

areas. There is no deductible, and there is a max of 20 visits a

year. Since the psychiatrist is out of network and the psychologist

is in network, the 20 visits are completely separate. So that's a

good thing.

The insurance company gave us a list of 4 psychiatrists that are IN

network. None of them are child psychiatrists. And I couldn't even

pronounce their names, it was like I suddenly was in another country

(please don't take offense!) The psychologist he's seeing told me

that the really good child psychiatrists don't deal with insurance

because they get reimbursed so poorly, so it's not worth their

while. She said child psychiatry is such a distinct specialty. The

one we chose is part of a child anxiety clinic, supposedly " one of

the best in the area. " So that's why we're going out of network. It

doesn't seem like we really have a choice.

I started giving my son Native Remedy products a month ago

(Mindsoothe and Purecalm - recently added Nerve Tonic). They say

that most people see results in 3-5 weeks, so we're almost at 5

weeks. He seemed to be doing better, but then it started up again.

It seems that the majority of his anxiety stems from being separated

from me. He's so worried about something happening to me. This all

started after I had a car accident 5 years ago. That was definitely

his trigger, and to this day, he still talks about it. I feel that

if he could turn down the anxiety, that the OCD would lessen

tremendously.

Are there any others out there who only have OCD issues when not at

home, but are fine when they are home? I usually read that it's the

other way around - they hold it in at school, and let it out at

home. My son's is the opposite.

I just want my carefree and confident son back. It makes me sad that

he's dealing with so much.

Thanks again.

[Guest guest]

My daughter is so much better since going on Anafranil, although she is

definitely having to deal with? OCD a lot anyway.? Unfortunately, there are

other social issues that affect her and I don't know if it is due to the OCD or

not.

Re: So scared - I think it's time for meds

We are in month 5 of OCD and things are starting to calm a bit. Things aren't so

emergency like as they were before. I credit that to the medication enabling her

to do the necessary work.

?

She still has thoughts, and there are bad days, but for the most part she is

able to fight them and not let them escalate to far by using the CBT.? Her mind

doesn't seem as susceptible to suggestions/triggers right now either.

?

She has even laughed at her OCD recently.? That is huge.?

?

It took a bit to find the right med, but the benefits have outweighed the

struggles with meds.? My daughter has a bit of peace in her life, and that is

worth anything we have had to go through to get there.

?

Hang in there. I know it's rough!!? You will get through this though. These

people here told me my daughter and I would make it, and they were right. You

will make it through as well.? One situation at a time.

[Guest guest]

Not offended at all. When you are dealing with something as

complicated as OCD can be, you need to be able to communicate well

with the doctors you are dealing with. And being comfortable with

your choices is important.

It's too bad the Native Remedy products didn't help more.

I had a similar situation, , with our son. I took Imitrex for

migraines that caused me to have a mild stroke and it damaged my

heart. I ended up in critical care, and still have issues to this day

(12 years later) from it. Josh was 4 years old at the time, and it

was very traumatic for him. I was in and out of hospitals for about

year, sometimes falling down because my left side did not want to

work. Sometimes being rushed to the hospital in ambulances because of

arrhythmia and tacycardia with my heart. Josh even had to ride in an

ambulance with me once. He still remembers it. There were 7 guys at

our house, working on me, and he crawled under our table, crying

clinging to the table leg and a stuffed animal. I felt so helpless.

He was terrified. One of them tried to pick him up to carry him out

and he freaked. They (and I) had to coax him out to the ambulance.

He didn't have his shoes on, and that bothered him horribly. To this

day, when he mentions it, he always brings up the shoe thing.

Anyway, for years I felt such guilt for my son having to go through so

much trauma at such a young age, yet also knew there was nothing I

could have done to change it. Still, I've always wondered if his OCD

might have remained more mild if he hadn't had such a unstable time of

it. We'll never know. Yet, we all survived it somehow.

I'm wondering, have the diagnosing doctors checked to see if your son

might have some generalized anxiety disorder going on too? Josh dealt

with both, and had separation anxiety after all that happened with me.

It's not uncommon for people with OCD to have other anxiety disorders

also. Anyway, was just wondering, especially with the history of what

he's gone through with your car accident and all.

I can tell you that as Josh aged, he overcame a lot of it. It took

years, but he got there. There were times where I wondered if he ever

would though.

Because we homeschooled, we never experienced him having to hold it

in, while at school. But, I would notice that when others were

around, he wasn't as intense with his OCD. I don't know if that was

because he was distracted, or trying to hide some of it.

That does seem to be the opposite, with him letting it out at school,

but being better at home, for OCD anyway, but if it's separation

anxiety, it sort of makes sense. It kind of sounds like separation

anxiety is meshing with the OCD (because the repetitive " crying "

thoughts), to my untrained thinking. Curious to see what the docs

think when you have your appointment.

You will get your carefree and confident son back, . But, it

might take some meds, and definitely the right kind of therapy. But,

he can get there. It takes time, patience, and work, but it's all

worth it. It's horrible when you are in the middle of it, trying to

sort it out, and it's confusing, and you are sleep deprived and

stressed. And it's normal to be sad. . It's a hard thing to cope

with. But, once you do, you learn from it. . So, if there is ever a

relapse, you know what to do, how to handle it, and how to get them

back on track again. Don't lose hope. It's possible. And you are

taking all the right steps to get there.

A note of encouragement. . . Two years ago, our son was down and out

and not functioning. All he could do was lie on the sofa, in the

fetal position, clenched and groaning. He barely ate, and hardly

slept. He missed a half a year of school, because he was living

moment to moment, trying to survive. He's now taken driver's ed, got

his license, drives himself to a vocational school for classes, and is

excelling to the point that he won an award the other night and had to

get up in front of everyone and talk. I didn't think that day would

ever come. But, it did. So hold on to hope. It can improve. There

are many here who are living proof of that.

I'm so glad you were able to say goodbye to your Dad. That gives me

happy tears (guess because I'm relating). <:o/ Hope we have the same

opportunity when the time comes.

BJ

>

> HI BJ,

> Thanks for your sympathies. My dad also had Alzheimer's, probably

> stage 5 or 6, when he broke his hip. He died three weeks later. I'm

> sorry you're going through the same thing with your dad. It's

> extremely difficult to see them slipping away. In a way, I'm glad he

> went the way he did, because he still knew all of us, and we all got

> to say our goodbyes. Just still so sad.

>

> As far as our insurance, they will reimburse 50% of the reasonable

> and customary charges. We have to submit the bills after we've paid

> them. We're in NJ, so I know the rates are higher here then in other

> areas. There is no deductible, and there is a max of 20 visits a

> year. Since the psychiatrist is out of network and the psychologist

> is in network, the 20 visits are completely separate. So that's a

> good thing.

>

> The insurance company gave us a list of 4 psychiatrists that are IN

> network. None of them are child psychiatrists. And I couldn't even

> pronounce their names, it was like I suddenly was in another country

> (please don't take offense!) The psychologist he's seeing told me

> that the really good child psychiatrists don't deal with insurance

> because they get reimbursed so poorly, so it's not worth their

> while. She said child psychiatry is such a distinct specialty. The

> one we chose is part of a child anxiety clinic, supposedly " one of

> the best in the area. " So that's why we're going out of network. It

> doesn't seem like we really have a choice.

>

> I started giving my son Native Remedy products a month ago

> (Mindsoothe and Purecalm - recently added Nerve Tonic). They say

> that most people see results in 3-5 weeks, so we're almost at 5

> weeks. He seemed to be doing better, but then it started up again.

>

> It seems that the majority of his anxiety stems from being separated

> from me. He's so worried about something happening to me. This all

> started after I had a car accident 5 years ago. That was definitely

> his trigger, and to this day, he still talks about it. I feel that

> if he could turn down the anxiety, that the OCD would lessen

> tremendously.

>

> Are there any others out there who only have OCD issues when not at

> home, but are fine when they are home? I usually read that it's the

> other way around - they hold it in at school, and let it out at

> home. My son's is the opposite.

>

> I just want my carefree and confident son back. It makes me sad that

> he's dealing with so much.

>

> Thanks again.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

We give Xanax as needed and for us, it's been a godsend. BUT, my son

is 14.5, not 9, and we only give it when he needs to stay home alone

(he also has/d huge separation issues with fears that my husband and I

will die in a car accident). Also, Xanax is a tranquilizer which is

something you wouldn't want to give your son for school as it can

cause sleepiness, and definitely not every day as it can be habit

forming. With that said, it was the only med my son responded

positively to (completely took away anxiety) after 4 years of trying

other things. I would even go so far as to say that it was the

confidence that Xanax gave him, that was the first sign of progress in

his battle with OCD and it continues to get better every day.

[Guest guest]

Hi , so sorry it seems to be backsliding. And really so sorry

about your dad!

Keep in mind - and remind your son - how well he had been doing, a

couple weeks and no tears.... He'll get back to that point again, he

did it once and can do it again. Nothing wrong with having a bad day

or two here & there inbetween good, better days. It's like a diet,

you just start again tomorrow when you cheated and went off it

today. It's not like you gain the whole 8 lbs back for just the one

day of eating that hot fudge sundae! (At least that's what I tell

myself)

I know he says his OCD is telling him to cry. And it's just about

school and going there, right? Not anywhere else he ever goes? Just

asking as I wonder about depression too -- but then that's because

it's sooooo easy for me to tear up/cry when I'm depressed versus

times I'm not. But then, having OCD mess up your life is depressing

itself!

And then I wonder is he shy at all, before OCD, at school? I know he

hates to leave you in the a.m. So wondering about either possible

anxiety at having to go to school and leaving you - OR possibly some

OCD fear/feeling about leaving you, like fear something will happen

to you or a feeling he won't see you again....

Sigh, no helpful suggestions, sorry for the additional questions.

Just brainstorming a bit. Another son of mine went thru what I

called " separation anxiety " because he had a feeling that I was just

going to leave; leave as in " move somewhere " and leave him, and I

guess my other 2 sons too.... OK, maybe not my other sons; I don't

think he would have gone to school if he didn't have a twin there

(). Maybe he thought I wouldn't leave ? Who knows.

No reason for the feeling he was having, he knew it wasn't logical.

If he'd had any other signs of OCD I would have thought " more OCD! "

but that was the only problem. He wanted me in sight at times,

almost like a shadow around the house.

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> Some of you may remember me. I posted a few weeks ago about my 9

yr

> old son who was crying at school. He gets an OCD thought that

tells

> him to cry, and he does - several times a day. He had been doing

[Guest guest]

Hi

I really don't think my son is depressed, because when he's home,

he's singing and dancing and as happy as can be. And he's not shy at

all - in fact, just the opposite. He has lots of friends, loves to

talk in front of the class, also loves to perform on stage.

He'll get a thought about crying at a party that's in three days -

anywhere that he knows I won't be there. So it just seems to be

centered around leaving me. He wanted me to go to his cub scout

meeting last night instead of my husband. I never go to those

meetings!

He came out of school today very happy! Go figure! He said he had

no thoughts today at all and had a great day. So after sobbing

hysterically this morning and throwing up, he ended up being fine.

He says he usually feels fine after snack time (around 9:30). Makes

me wonder if there's something physical going on. Wishful thinking,

I suppose.

Anyway, thanks for your thoughts and good wishes. I know in my heart

that this will get better, but as you know, when you're stuck in the

middle of it, it's hard to see the light. It certainly helps when I

have my boy singing in the shower right now!

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I remember you as your son's OCD presents very similar to my DD's

(with the crying at school). My DD is also 9 years old (4th grade)

and she has a fear of throwing up. When her OCD flared (at the

beginning of the year - we had weened her off the Prozac) - she was

doing the same thing in school. She was terrified of leaving us and

would cry on and off all day at school. According to our

psychologist - separation anxiety and this type of OCD can be closely

linked. Anyway, we were so concerned about what this was doing to

her socially as she continued to cry during the school day in front

of her peers. Like you, I was on pins and needles all day - waiting

for the school to call. It was a complete nightmare.

I completely relate to the guilt of sending your child to school in

the hysterical state. At DD's worst point - it literally took 3

teachers to get her into the school. Like you, though, I knew that

if I gave in and let her stay home even 1 day - I wasn't sure if we

could get her back. Thankfully, her psychologist, psychiatrist would

talk to me almost daily during this time and really, really helped us

through it. The support and ideas from this board were incredible as

well.

We wound up putting DD back on the Prozac. DD was so hysterical at

school during the day - she couldn't function without it. On her

worst days, we also added Ativan. We only had to give her this a few

times - but basically, it helped to get her through the day without

crying. It would also give her a " boost " and show her that she could

do it and this is why we only had to give it to her a few times. We

also started a " worry journal " for her. This is a book that she

could take out and write in when she felt the need to cry. Instead

of crying - she would write in her journal. She also made a very

small pet rock that she put in her back pack. She used this

to " channel her worries " and would try to put her worries into the

rock when they got too bad. She would also go to visit her former

teacher from last year (if she could control the crying before

school - this was the reward) and he would let her help in his

classroom before school started. He actually paired DD with a boy

that has Down Syndrome. DD helps him and he in turn, helps her

because it has helped her confidence and self esteem that she can

beat OCD and get past this.

Your son will get better. I know how it is when you are in the

throes of it - it's like a nightmare. But it will pass.

I'm thinking of you and hoping things get better soon.

Anne

[Guest guest]

How is he when he goes on a playdate or other activity away from you?  Could it

be that the crying is due to separation anxiety?  I'm so sorry that things have

gotten bad again.  I think you are right that the time away from school made it

more difficult to go back.  I hope you get good help from the psychiatrist.

Hang in there!

So scared - I think it's time for meds

Hi everyone,

Some of you may remember me. I posted a few weeks ago about my 9 yr

old son who was crying at school. He gets an OCD thought that tells

him to cry, and he does - several times a day. He had been doing so

well. He even had a couple of weeks with no tears at all. He was so

happy and proud of himself, I saw his self confidence coming back.

Then my dad passed away on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. My son

seemed to really take it well, and I truly believe he was OK with

it.

(My dad was 90 and we knew he was dying, so we all had time to

prepare). I think the problem was that he missed so much school -

first for Thanksgiving, then two days for the funeral, then he got

sick

and missed the rest of the week. He was a nervous wreck goi

ng back

to

school this past Monday. He cried a few times that day, but made it

through. Tuesday and Wednesday were great.

Then came this morning. He woke up and started crying, saying the

thoughts were telling him to cry. I just don't understand it - he's

sobbing and saying " I don't want to cry. " He cried so hard that he

threw up 5 times. I made him go to school anyway, because I don't

want

him to think he can stay home just because he cried so hard and threw

up (Is that awful? I don't know.) He said he hates the mornings,

because he hates leaving me. I dropped him off at school, and he was

crying as he got out of the car. The nurse called me 10 minutes

later,

asking if he really threw up that morning. I told her what happened,

and she understood why I sent him to school.

The nurse told me that he's been going to see her everyday

for " silly "

things. He's also been going to the bathroom a lot, going to the

guidance counselor a lot, and being very fidgety in the classroom.

Sure, because he's so nervous. He's a very bright kid, and is doing

just fine in all his classwork and tests, so I'm not concerned there.

His therapist has been teaching him to talk back to the thoughts and

externalize them. He says it's just so hard. He's also been trying

to

count to 100, but he says that's not working anymore. He

just can't

hold back the tears no matter how hard he tries. I guess the

obsession

is the thought of crying, and the compulsion is the actual crying.

How

do you stop this?

I just can't take much more, because I can't get anything done. I'm

on

pins and needles all day, because the school is always calling me.

So

I called a pediatric psychiatrist this morning, and scheduled an

appointment for Dec. 24. The first appointment is for my husband and

me, the second appointment is for my son, and the third appointment

is

for all three of us. They don't accept any insurance, and it's $900

for the three appointments. I don't know how we're going to do this.

I'm so afraid of the thought of medicating him. His therapist

suggested just giving him something " as needed, " because once he's

home

from school, he's fine. Does anyone here give their kids something

only when needed?

I hate this so much. He was doing so well, and I was so hopeful, but

when he's bad like this, I have trouble staying hopeful. I just want

it to all go away.

Sorry this is so long. Thanks for listening.

[Guest guest]

I just want to thank everyone for all their ideas, suggestions, and most of all,

the support!! No one else can understand what we all go through.

Jordana, you asked how my son is on playdates, etc. He's fine. He tells me

that he always worries about me when we're not together, but he manages not to

cry on playdates. He said he almost did once, but it passed because he was

having too much fun.

Kathy, I love the idea of the bracelets! My son loves wearing those rubbery

wristbands (he has one that he swears is his good luck charm - I hope he never

loses it!). I'll suggest it to him. He's very crafty and would probably love

to make something together with me. When he had separation anxiety a few years

ago, he kept a heart shaped stone in his pocket that I gave to him. Then I gave

him a small laminated picture of us, but he said that it made him sadder when he

looked at it!

My husband and I are going out alone tonight (we haven't done this in years!),

and my son is actually excited about having some special alone time with his

aunt and uncle who will be watching him. He just keeps asking me what time

we'll be home. I hope he can relax and have fun. I hope I can relax and have

fun too!

So scared - I think it's time for meds

Hi everyone,

Some of you may remember me. I posted a few weeks ago about my 9 yr

old son who was crying at school. He gets an OCD thought that tells

him to cry, and he does - several times a day. He had been doing so

well. He even had a couple of weeks with no tears at all. He was so

happy and proud of himself, I saw his self confidence coming back.

Then my dad passed away on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. My son

seemed to really take it well, and I truly believe he was OK with

it.

(My dad was 90 and we knew he was dying, so we all had time to

prepare). I think the problem was that he missed so much school -

first for Thanksgiving, then two days for the funeral, then he got

sick

and missed the rest of the week. He was a nervous wreck goi

ng back

to

school this past Monday. He cried a few times that day, but made it

through. Tuesday and Wednesday were great.

Then came this morning. He woke up and started crying, saying the

thoughts were telling him to cry. I just don't understand it - he's

sobbing and saying " I don't want to cry. " He cried so hard that he

threw up 5 times. I made him go to school anyway, because I don't

want

him to think he can stay home just because he cried so hard and threw

up (Is that awful? I don't know.) He said he hates the mornings,

because he hates leaving me. I dropped him off at school, and he was

crying as he got out of the car. The nurse called me 10 minutes

later,

asking if he really threw up that morning. I told her what happened,

and she understood why I sent him to school.

The nurse told me that he's been going to see her everyday

for " silly "

things. He's also been going to the bathroom a lot, going to the

guidance counselor a lot, and being very fidgety in the classroom.

Sure, because he's so nervous. He's a very bright kid, and is doing

just fine in all his classwork and tests, so I'm not concerned there.

His therapist has been teaching him to talk back to the thoughts and

externalize them. He says it's just so hard. He's also been trying

to

count to 100, but he says that's not working anymore. He

just can't

hold back the tears no matter how hard he tries. I guess the

obsession

is the thought of crying, and the compulsion is the actual crying.

How

do you stop this?

I just can't take much more, because I can't get anything done. I'm

on

pins and needles all day, because the school is always calling me.

So

I called a pediatric psychiatrist this morning, and scheduled an

appointment for Dec. 24. The first appointment is for my husband and

me, the second appointment is for my son, and the third appointment

is

for all three of us. They don't accept any insurance, and it's $900

for the three appointments. I don't know how we're going to do this.

I'm so afraid of the thought of medicating him. His therapist

suggested just giving him something " as needed, " because once he's

home

from school, he's fine. Does anyone here give their kids something

only when needed?

I hate this so much. He was doing so well, and I was so hopeful, but

when he's bad like this, I have trouble staying hopeful. I just want

it to all go away.

Sorry this is so long. Thanks for listening.