Re: potty training problems

[Guest guest]

-

Hi ,

Please note what others say on this issue and perhaps just consider

this as a last resort - I KNOW I am going to sound like I am on my

usual thing again but.........

Charlie couldn't potty train at all and I had had to start getting

the big size nappies until I took him off dairy and he potty trained

within the week .

Louis is NT but has been on the same diet as us for ages ( mostly

gluten and dairy free) . He asked for pizza and ice cream cake for

his 9th birthday party but , that night before bed he had a

distressing episode when he lost bowel control ..not loose stools or

diarrhea , just complete lack of control . He said he had no

sensation whatsoever that he needed to go ( and now is refusing

gluten and dairy in case it happens again !!) .

I have spoken to lots of people and apparently there is some thought

that too much dairy can dull your sensation and make it difficult to

anticipate that you need to go. Maybe this is why Charlie had no

control until I removed dairy - I had assumed it was just one of a

number of improvements in awareness and behaviour .

Just a thought ........

Charlie used to smear too - you have my sympathy !! I became

completely paranoid about the house smelling !!

Good luck - I hope you find something that helps !!

Regards

Deborah

-- In @y..., " seanzonigal " <seanzonigal@h...>

wrote:

> Hi,

> Well, Jack is doing great in everything but potty training. Why? I

> have no idea!!!

> He started 1 year ago going on the potty, and did great, although I

> have to say wasn't " Potty Trained " until March this year. It took

me

> a week of staying home and just doing it. He did it and was even

> starting to stay dry at night, but still put a pull up on at night.

> But underwear all day and maybe had an accident 1 every 2 weeks.

Now

> in the past 2 1/2 weeks it is if he is completely not potty trained.

> He is pooping in his pants, peeing in his pants all the time, even

> right after I ask him if he needs to go!!

> It is becoming that he rarely goes on the potty at all. I don't

think

> it a sensory issue or why would he have done so well for so long,

he

> can tell me when he has to go, he even can go by himself!!!

> I even haven't put a pull up on him even with this backslide, like

> they say, but unfortunatly my house is turning into 1 big toilet. I

> have had to get my chair and couch cleaned 5 X in the last few

weeks

> becuase he will just pee right there and when he poops he will take

> his underpants right off and Boom poop everywhere.

>

>

> I have to be honest I am trying really hard to be good about it and

> not get upset, but I am at the end of my rope with this, If I go

back

> to pull ups and he poops he still takes them right off and gets it

> everywhere.

> WHAT DO I DO NOW??????????

> THank you for any advice on this subject!!!!!

> Eileen a mom who is at her wits end!!!!

[Guest guest]

Hi Eileen,

Sorry , some more practical tips too .....

When he does it take him stright to the bathroom and clean him up .It

won't hurt to sit him on the potty then . Don't get angry or

emotional with him and don't bombard him with language . Charlie used

to do it when he was watching TV so I would always turn the TV off

and not let him watch it for a while - I didn't say " naughty no TV "

or anything - I just let him make the association that that meant the

TV would go off .

Don't check his nappy or change him anywhwere but in the bathroom ,

preferably the same one all the time to begin with. And on the

occasions when he does get it right make the praise fantastic !!

Kids ALWAYS do stuff for a payoff so see if you can figure out what

it is. ( Sorry about this !!!! but ..) Charlie like the texture of

the pooh as it had only firmed up when we changed his diet so I made

sure that he had an endless supply of playdough etc to hand . I know

that that got on the furniture too but it was WAY the better option !!

I also realised that it was either when he was in front of the TV and

that the TV was over-stimulating him - especially as he stood so

close . So I cut right down on the TV time and made him sit way back

from it . The other time was when he was just bored because mummy

would come rushing in with bowls of hot water and cleaners and

brushes - it was great entertainment !!! I had tried the thing of

getting him to help me clear it up but he LOVED that - so I started

putting him in his room while I claened and that , along woth no TV

made the consequence outweigh the fun . He got worse for a while - (

to try and win !!!) but it then reduced down to strightforward

accidents which he had no control over - and taking out milk dealt

with those !!

Good luck !

Deborah

[Guest guest]

Sorry I don't remember how old Jack is... My older son didn't train

until fairly recently - 3y9m. He knew what it was for, but didn't

get himself there because it was too far away. We finally moved a

potty into the living room (better than using the chair, no??) and

got him on track. When I moved the potty back out of the living room

and he had to go upstairs (no 1st floor bath) we had setbacks for a

week or 2. It was brutal!! I feel your pain!!

Here's what I did - but he's of an age of reason and so this worked...

1. He had to clean up his own mess. (ok, I did it again after, but

he had to put his clothes in the laundry, wipe the floor, etc. This

was a worse sensory issue for him than stopping what he was doing to

go upstairs!!)

2. I borrowed a pullup from a neighbor and told him that if he kept

refusing to try to go on the potty, he'd have to wear one. (My prob

was that I, like you, would ask him if he had to go and he's say

no...then pee on the couch. I finally stopped asking him " if " and

just told him to go try. At this point, he was refusing to go try.

It was this that was my real problem.)

3. I made sure he understood that getting to do big boy things

(having a bb bed, going to school, getting to play in his room by

himself, etc.) meant he had to be a big boy. He had to TRY. I told

him that everyone makes mistakess - and sometimes it's hard to get to

the potty in time. That's why we go there alot when we're learning,

or go before going to the store, etc..

Ok, enough advice. If he's under 3.5, I'd say cut yourself some

slack. In all my postings and talking to people, it seems that

apraxic kids are late in this usually, too. I hated going back to

diapers (we did this 2x earlier) because I was potty training him, he

wasn't cooperating. You could be getting this reticence because he's

not ready.

Good luck. I know how crummy this can be - and the self-stripping is

AWFUL!!

Best, Marina

[Guest guest]

Hi Eileen,

Did anything happen or change in his life or diet two and a half

weeks ago? I know how frustrating it is. Tanner didn't completely

potty train day and night for everything until he was almost four

years old, which is much older than most of us would want, however

Tanner's neurologist told me that due to the hypotonia he may train a

bit later and to give him more time. Looking back on it now (two

years later) I'm glad I took that advice -and it did appear to be

true for Tanner. I'm not sure if that was what it was for Jack since

he was trained and the accidents are only within the past two or three weeks.

What does Jack's doctor say? When Tanner was not fully trained -or

if he had a lapse like you are talking about -I put him back in

diapers and didn't make a big deal about it.

Our favorite beloved babysitter ita who passed away two years ago

at 80 strongly advised us to only use the diapers or the underwear

since the pull ups didn't give enough motivation and we did find that

worked. Tanner of course didn't want diapers -he wanted pull ups or

big boy underwear -so any step back to diapers was short lived so he

could go to wearing " big boy " underwear again. For me whenever there

was a you know what accident in the underwear I just threw them

away. I would take Tanner to go with me to let him pick out new ones

if he wanted when he was ready to " try " again.

Sometimes when children are going through a growth spurt

developmentally it seems that they may temporarily regress in other

areas. So perhaps this is just temporary? Or could it be Jack's

anxious or upset about something that's coming up? School, etc.?

I encourage you to search our archives (we have lots on this) and

search online. While you are looking for advice online or in books,

remember that advice for typical developing children you may read may

not always match with our kids -and not all the advice for special

needs kids is relevant to your child. Unfortunately there just

isn't enough out there yet for typical apraxic children -much is

geared to autism (even though watching some of the kids on the mild

side of the autism spectrum is at times like watching apraxic kids

since all you can see different is the speech -and that blur is there

again)

Perhaps too it could be something that you may not know is bothering

Jack - for example -most of our children have to deal with being in

therapy or school during the summer while other children are playing

with sand toys at the beach all day. Have any children or adults

talked about this in front of him?

I agree with 's advice about humor. When it feels like it's

getting to be too much and you will lose your cool -try to think of

some of the things I just wrote here, and if you can take Jack to see

a funny movie. I recommend Stuart Little 2 right now! A fun

interactive site and preview at http://www.stuartlittle.com/ How

could you not love J. Fox!! and Lane is hysterical as

Snowball the cat. It's one of those movies you'll have to walk away

from in a good mood. (The way I talk Kathy you won't know if I work

for Sony either! (Actually -if anyone knows Wilkes who is no

longer with Sony but used to be one of the top there a few years back

who offered to help me with the children's film I stopped doing when

Dakota was born -please let me know) Actually maybe it's just me but

I also loved Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius -OK -I like animation and kids

movie I confess! How did I get here from potty training? Of that's

right -to keep from the end of the rope- hope this advice helps a

bit!

=====

[Guest guest]

Sounds all too familiar...

I asked my bf who's also a neighbor who knows my kids well, if she

thought he was just being lazy and using the diapers as a toilet.

When I explained that he could (when he wanted to) tell me he had to

go in the store and then WAIT until we got home, she agreed that it

was more of a " the potty is too far away from my toys " deal. We

(after moving the potty into the living room) also spent mornings

with no tv at all until he pooped (that was what he had the hardest

time with). All I can say is (and someone else echoed this, too)

make it MORE inconvenient for him to make the mistake then for him to

go on the potty.

Sorry. I was ready to pull my hair out and was on the verge of just

losing it when he finally decided to snap out of it. Good luck - and

all my best wishes...

Marina

--- In @y..., " seanzonigal " <seanzonigal@h...>

wrote:

> Thanks for the great advice, I forgot to tell you how old Jack is

he

> is 3.2 years. I think what is concerning is that he can go on the

> potty, can tell me, etc. He doesn't care about the pull ups,

wouldn't

> mind if he wore them always, the pull ups however are getting tight

> being that he is 46 lbs.

> Anyway having an all around bad day.

> Eileen

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I know how you are feeling. But I have to tell you my son was a

whole lot older when he became potty trained! I knew when to take

him, every 1 1/2 to 2 hours, but that didn't mean he was potty

trained! My son was about 7 or 8 years old when he started. Although

he still has some accidents in his pants. He also has some sensory

problems, and I thought that maybe he can not feel it all the time

when he has to go to the bathroom. He does better after seeing the

chiroprator. So maybe the nerves leading to the bladder are

sometimes blocked. I also read somewhere, (could be on an autistic

site) that if you give your child some kind of stimulant it

sometimes helps. On that site they where actually giving the kids

drugs but they said other stuff like a little coke etc. would work

too. But if it is a sensory thing you really can not rush it. Just

try to keep calm and not get angry. I know how very frustrating it

can be, I used to wash so much laundry during that time!!

Alison

" seanzonigal " <seanzonigal@h...> wrote:

>

>

> I have to be honest I am trying really hard to be good about it

and

> not get upset, but I am at the end of my rope with this, If I go

back

> to pull ups and he poops he still takes them right off and gets it

> everywhere.

> WHAT DO I DO NOW??????????

> THank you for any advice on this subject!!!!!

> Eileen a mom who is at her wits end!!!!

[Guest guest]

Check out this link on my web site....it is Frequently Asked Questions re:

Potty Training that I wrote a few years ago:

_http://www.verbalbehaviorapproach.com/faq2.html_

(http://www.verbalbehaviorapproach.com/faq2.html) .

In addition, Chapter 11 of my new book gives a more in depth overview of

toilet training procedures that I usually recommend.

Hope this helps,

_______

Lynch Barbera, RN, MSN, BCBA

_www.vbapproach.com_ (http://www.vbapproach.com)

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

Check out this link on my web site....it is Frequently Asked Questions re:

Potty Training that I wrote a few years ago:

_http://www.verbalbehaviorapproach.com/faq2.html_

(http://www.verbalbehaviorapproach.com/faq2.html) .

In addition, Chapter 11 of my new book gives a more in depth overview of

toilet training procedures that I usually recommend.

Hope this helps,

_______

Lynch Barbera, RN, MSN, BCBA

_www.vbapproach.com_ (http://www.vbapproach.com)

************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com.

[Guest guest]

My son is on the autism spectrum with apraxia and didn't get it until he

was six, don't give up

In a message dated 3/3/2010 10:50:03 A.M. Central Standard Time,

katie.m.stahl@... writes:

Hello,

I know this is not what you want to here, but even my neurotypical son did

not potty train until his 4th birthday. We tried everything. But once he

decided he was ready...he only had two accidents and everything has been

great since. (He has been potty trained for 3 months now.) He is very stubborn

and he resisted everything. He is also a perfectionist, so I wonder if he

wanted to wait until he KNEW he could do it before he would even try. Our

pediatrician told us not to push him because he would just resist even

harder. This is the last thing in early childhood that they have total control

of, so they don't want to let it go. So, as hard as it was, we just had to

wait. I do feel for you though. We had the same issue with my son's

pre-school, but luckily he was only there for three hours a day and he never

had a

bowel movement while he was there so a pull-up worked fine. (I am dreading

the whole thing with my 25 month old son diagnosed with Apraxia.)

One thing you could try that we tried (with little success) but I still

think is a good idea is: We went to the store and picked out a big poster

board with stickers and some of his favorite candies. (Be sure to make a big

deal about the whole thing! Make it a special trip just about getting ready

for potty training.) He and I made a chart (we painted and decorated it

with stickers and his name) that had the following columns: Pull down pants,

sit on the potty, go potty, pull up pants, and wash hands. We put a sticker

in that column whenever he did any of those things. (This way he would be

rewarded even for sitting on the potty.) I also taped a starburst or a small

Reese's peanut butter cup to the end of the row so if he did all 5 things

(even with a little help,) he got to have the treat. Then, we told him the

first time he went in the potty that he would be able to go to one of his

favorite places: Monkey Joe's! After that, we told him that if he stayed dry

for a w hole day, then we would go to any other favorite place he wanted.

Like I said. it didn't work perfectly for us, but I do know other people

that it worked for.

Good Luck and I hope it works!

IL

________________________________

[Guest guest]

No advice, but I'm closely following this.

My son turns three in a few weeks and I've been trying to potty train him for

over a year. We talk about it, go every morning and after naps, wear underwear

for a day which results in meltdowns by mid-afternoon. We've tried bribing with

chocolate (only time he gets any) for over six months. The only time he showed

interest was right after I pulled wheat from his diet, but he got horribly

constipated and it got really cold and he regressed after a few days. That was

about six weeks ago. He wears cloth, so he is aware of wetness.

Does he freak out if you have him try every few hours?

Liralen

>

> My son is three and a half years old and I am having an impossible

time potty training him. I am interested in hearing if this is a problem others

have also encountered with their children. I am also desperate to learn

strategies to move this process along ( is my third child and the two

older ones - a girl and a boy - had little trouble and were both potty trained

fully by two and a half)

>

> A little background-

> We are an American family, currently living abroad in Switzerland. is

the third of four children. I suspected language delays early and started

researching anglo-speaking speech therapists shortly after he turned two years

old. This past spring and over the summer I had him evaluated both in

Switzerland and in the US - his diagnosis is " severe speech production disorder

comprised primarily of a phonological disorder and secondarily of dysarthria.

Possible childhood apraxia of speech. "

>

> We started a regimen of fish oils shortly after I read " The Late Talker "

(September 2009) - one Efalex a day / two capsules of Nordic Naturals EFA - per

day.

>

> After a tremendous hassle of figuring out how to get the Nutriiveda in hand,

we started on one scoop a day last Sunday.

>

> He has been making steady progress. We observed surges with the fish oils and

a big surge with the Nutriivida as well. I have been following everyone else's

posts very carefully and will add my comments to the survey once it is

circulated.

>

> attends an English speaking private international school where he is

able to receive speech 4x a week. I worked hard to get him into this school,

however, from the start he was meant to be potty trained. I tried in vain

during August, but he was not yet three and it was going no where so I gave up

and struck a deal with his teachers that he would wear a pull up and if he had a

bowel movement - I would go in to change it. I have been on call since

September and frequently am called to go in to school to clean him up.

>

> Now that he is three and a half, the teachers are insisting he need to be

potty trained or he should stay home. I spent the month of December fully

focused on it and once again did not get anywhere.

>

> I am determined to figure this out as he needs to attend this particular

school as it is the only place in our area that is English speaking and where he

can receive speech therapy which I think is truly the critical component to his

continued language improvement and social awareness/interaction etc..

>

> Any advice will be warmly welcomed. Thank you!

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Michele,

My son is Henry who is 37 months is struggling with being poop trained too. He

has been 100% pee trained even at night since I put him in under ware 7 weeks

ago. He had trouble with the poop the first week( to be expected but then week

two started pooping on the potty then week 3 started pooping in his pants. I

have tried everything and the last 3 weeks or so I have been completely ignoring

it and just cleaning him up. Since he is in a 2 year old program at school ( all

the kids started turning 3 after the new year, him being one of the first ones

in Jan.) they do not mind changing him but next Sept. he has to be fully potty

trained and I am worried he may not not be there with the poop. Yes it is 6

months away but they say children with motor planning issues has trouble

mastering the poop or even the pee for a long time. I wish I had an answer for

you but I don't. How is your son with the pee? Good luck!

Carolyn

[Guest guest]

Hello,

I know this is not what you want to here, but even my neurotypical son did not

potty train until his 4th birthday. We tried everything. But once he decided

he was ready...he only had two accidents and everything has been great since.

(He has been potty trained for 3 months now.) He is very stubborn and he

resisted everything. He is also a perfectionist, so I wonder if he wanted to

wait until he KNEW he could do it before he would even try. Our pediatrician

told us not to push him because he would just resist even harder. This is the

last thing in early childhood that they have total control of, so they don't

want to let it go. So, as hard as it was, we just had to wait. I do feel for

you though. We had the same issue with my son's pre-school, but luckily he was

only there for three hours a day and he never had a bowel movement while he was

there so a pull-up worked fine. (I am dreading the whole thing with my 25 month

old son diagnosed with Apraxia.)

One thing you could try that we tried (with little success) but I still think

is a good idea is: We went to the store and picked out a big poster board with

stickers and some of his favorite candies. (Be sure to make a big deal about the

whole thing! Make it a special trip just about getting ready for potty

training.) He and I made a chart (we painted and decorated it with stickers

and his name) that had the following columns: Pull down pants, sit on the

potty, go potty, pull up pants, and wash hands. We put a sticker in that column

whenever he did any of those things. (This way he would be rewarded even for

sitting on the potty.) I also taped a starburst or a small Reese's peanut

butter cup to the end of the row so if he did all 5 things (even with a little

help,) he got to have the treat. Then, we told him the first time he went in

the potty that he would be able to go to one of his favorite places: Monkey

Joe's! After that, we told him that if he stayed dry for a whole day, then we

would go to any other favorite place he wanted. Like I said. it didn't work

perfectly for us, but I do know other people that it worked for.

Good Luck and I hope it works!

IL

________________________________

[Guest guest]

The following are archives from here, articles from the web -and a link to our

apraxia.org facebook page on this very common topic -hope between all the

suggestions something works for you soon!

Re: Potty training a non-verbal 3 year old

Most in this group potty train by " late three or early four " .

Here's an archive on this topic:

From: " kiddietalk " <kiddietalk@...>

Date: Tue May 17, 2005 10:02 pm

Subject: Re: potty training kiddietalk

Whomever first posted that they have some new (and improved?) potty

training tips that worked, Jan? Please just post it here so all

can see. Late to potty train is pretty par for the course in this

group ...actually for many kids today in general for some reason.

For those that want archived info -here's one

From: " kiddietalk " <kiddietalk@...>

Date: Wed Oct 22, 2003 11:20 pm

Subject: Re: Potty Training - not till 5 y/o????

In this group it's not unusual for our children not to potty train

till late three or early four (overall) due to low tone. Not sure

which group five is normal in?

I just posted recently that even " normal " kids are training late

today, but am too fried to find the post (must be under a different

subject which is why subject titles are important) So searched quick

and found these links on it at google

Lots more out there -may want to cut and paste links