So scared - I think it's time for meds

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

Some of you may remember me. I posted a few weeks ago about my 9 yr

old son who was crying at school. He gets an OCD thought that tells

him to cry, and he does - several times a day. He had been doing so

well. He even had a couple of weeks with no tears at all. He was so

happy and proud of himself, I saw his self confidence coming back.

Then my dad passed away on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. My son

seemed to really take it well, and I truly believe he was OK with

it.

(My dad was 90 and we knew he was dying, so we all had time to

prepare). I think the problem was that he missed so much school -

first for Thanksgiving, then two days for the funeral, then he got

sick

and missed the rest of the week. He was a nervous wreck going back

to

school this past Monday. He cried a few times that day, but made it

through. Tuesday and Wednesday were great.

Then came this morning. He woke up and started crying, saying the

thoughts were telling him to cry. I just don't understand it - he's

sobbing and saying " I don't want to cry. " He cried so hard that he

threw up 5 times. I made him go to school anyway, because I don't

want

him to think he can stay home just because he cried so hard and threw

up (Is that awful? I don't know.) He said he hates the mornings,

because he hates leaving me. I dropped him off at school, and he was

crying as he got out of the car. The nurse called me 10 minutes

later,

asking if he really threw up that morning. I told her what happened,

and she understood why I sent him to school.

The nurse told me that he's been going to see her everyday

for " silly "

things. He's also been going to the bathroom a lot, going to the

guidance counselor a lot, and being very fidgety in the classroom.

Sure, because he's so nervous. He's a very bright kid, and is doing

just fine in all his classwork and tests, so I'm not concerned there.

His therapist has been teaching him to talk back to the thoughts and

externalize them. He says it's just so hard. He's also been trying

to

count to 100, but he says that's not working anymore. He just can't

hold back the tears no matter how hard he tries. I guess the

obsession

is the thought of crying, and the compulsion is the actual crying.

How

do you stop this?

I just can't take much more, because I can't get anything done. I'm

on

pins and needles all day, because the school is always calling me.

So

I called a pediatric psychiatrist this morning, and scheduled an

appointment for Dec. 24. The first appointment is for my husband and

me, the second appointment is for my son, and the third appointment

is

for all three of us. They don't accept any insurance, and it's $900

for the three appointments. I don't know how we're going to do this.

I'm so afraid of the thought of medicating him. His therapist

suggested just giving him something " as needed, " because once he's

home

from school, he's fine. Does anyone here give their kids something

only when needed?

I hate this so much. He was doing so well, and I was so hopeful, but

when he's bad like this, I have trouble staying hopeful. I just want

it to all go away.

Sorry this is so long. Thanks for listening.