New-two children with possible OCD

[Guest guest]

I found this group by accident yesterday while searching on the

internet for help regarding my daughter's symptoms. This may be

long, so forgive me in advance.

My husband had OCD while younger, he says he still has some struggles,

but has never been on medication, never seen a doctor for the

symptoms. While younger, he did the " 123's " as his parents called

them, blinked a lot, touched his bed from side-to-side before going to

sleep...and many other rituals to prevent something bad from happening

to his mom. He said when he got older, he read a book called " How to

Stop Worrying and Start Living " which changed his life. He still

struggles with " sick thoughts " sometimes that he is able to manage,

and tells me it is not something that controls his life anymore. I

did not even realize that he had this problem until we noticed OCD

symptoms in my son and that is when he shared with me his struggles

when he was younger.

We have 3 children. DS-10, DD-7, DD-3. We noticed OCD tendencies in

my son about 2 years ago. Probably there were symptoms earlier, but

noticed the sick thoughts symptoms two years ago. When he was younger,

he could only wear shorts, was extremely uncomfortable in new

situations or any sort of change. His room has to be just right but

is also messy. Of course he's a kid. He collects everything from

bottles to bugs. He has saved every Lego he has ever made since he

started making Legos at 6. His only ritual that I am aware of is his

bedtime routine at this point. The OCD area of concern with him is

the need to tell me everything. If he's done something wrong, or

feels it was wrong, or has a sick thought, he needs to confess it to

me in order to feel better. Also, he gets sick thoughts like his dad.

For example, he once told

me a few years ago that he imagines he's shooting people as we're

driving on the street, and he hates the thought and feels terribly

guilty afterwards. He also imagined the priest getting shot one day

during Mass. He felt terrible guilt about these thoughts until his dad

told him he was the same way and that it was just part of his brain

getting stuck in a weird place. When my son first told me these

things, I thought he had been playing too many video games, even

though he was only allowed to play for 2 hours a day on weekends only.

And then they are only E games, but even the E games can be violent.

Anyway, at first I thought it was a video game issue, until my

husband told me about his own OCD symptoms. DS seems to be okay right

now. In fact he hasn't had to share any thoughts with me in a while,

and once we told him about " talking back " to his OCD, and not letting

his OCD bully him, he has seemed to improve a great deal. I think he

was relieved to know he wasn't the only one who had this problem since

his dad had the same struggles. So he seems to be okay...for now.

Presently, our concern is our daughter who is 7. She has always been

into numbers and so I thought she was just good at Math. However,

recently we noticed that she is touching the inside of mouth with her

tongue from side-to-side. DH noticed it actually. He asked her what

she was doing, and she said she has to touch both sides even. If she

touches one side, she must end on the other side. She also shared

with me a few weeks ago that she was special and different from her

friends in that nobody does what she does...which is to take steps

evenly, so if she starts on one foot she must stop on the other foot.

She thinks it's funny right now. Told me she does it because she has

to....that it would feel weird not to do it, wouldn't feel right to

her. DH told her to end on an odd number every once in a while, just

to mix it up. Of course, he is concerned. To him it is a big red

flag for OCD. She also must say her bedtime routine just right.

Saying her prayers just right. Those are the only symptoms I have

noticed with her at this point.

First of all, do you think this is OCD or just normal kid stuff? If

it weren't for DH I wouldn't have noticed dd's quirks. Ds's weird

thoughts were definitely worrisome to me though.

Sorry so long. We have not bee to any doctor at this point. The kids

do well in their studies; it does not seem to affect them in their

daily living and so dh did not want to put them on meds or anything

like that. But I am looking for behavioral tools to help them. I need

to know what to say when I notice an OCD thing. I also want to know

what NOT to do, so as to not make it worse.

Thank you for your advice, and I look forward to perusing the archives

for more insight.

Kim