Re: New here - Jacquie

[Guest guest]

There are several " warriors " and seasoned veterans who've already

given you great advice on how to stay calm during your initial shock

and mourning over an OCD dx. I was terrified when it was first

suggested to me. I'd read books and get more freaked. Bouncing around

trying to find the right people to help us felt like being trapped in

an insane pinball game. This one wanted to give my son heavy duty

drugs, that one didn't want to meet my son at all - just talk to my

husband and me about our parenting. No one had answers that felt right.

But as others have said, you keep searching for answers (because

really you have no choice) until you start to find things and people

that can help. It slowly gets better, then gets worse again, then gets

better...just like everything in life I suppose.

But a few months into this, I started to find hidden treasures in this

journey. My son was never " normal " - always a little quirky. Before

the dx, we'd watch him in a social setting and hold our breath, hoping

beyond hope that our son would do " normal " things. Then there'd be

embarrassment and disappointment when that didn't happen.

Now, with a dx, we have tools and an understanding of what's

happening. I gave up my unrealistic expectations and now try very hard

to accept my son for who he is. Now that I understand how hard it is

for him to face certain situations, I don't secretly get angry at him

for not being like other kids. Don't get me wrong - I still want to

strangle him sometimes. I still lose my temper,especially when the

disease hijack's my entire family for weeks at a time. But now when my

son accomplishes something, I'm not wasting energy comparing him to

other kids. I just focus on the progress he's made as an individual.

For the first time, I celebrate his success and his talents, without

concern for what the neighbor's kid is or isn't doing. Keeping up with

the Jonses isn't a worry anymore. And that is freeing.

I also appreciate my entire family more. My husband and I have become

a much stronger team. I used to be the one who took care of

everything. My husband was " playtime daddy. " I was the disciplinarian,

the worrier, the organizer. But this disease is too big for anyone to

handle without help. I've learned to take help and to share my worries

- a new trick for a 44 year old. I've stopped micromanaging and I'm

learning to let go of ideals and just enjoy the small things that come

with every day.

Would I rather live without this disease? Of course. But there are

still millions of people in this world with far less than me, and

they'd trade places with me in a heartbeat. My aunt lost her daughter

a year ago today. Would she happily trade places? You bet. I have much

to be thankful for and living with this diease ironically helps me

remember that.

Welcome to our crazy club. Please keep us posted on how you and your

family are doing.

> > Do any of your kids seem normal? Will my son loose the few

> friends he has? I am just so scared.

> >

> > Jacquie

> >

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