Guest guest Posted January 29, 2007 Report Share Posted January 29, 2007 My younger, NT son has a classmate who has some quirks and some behavioral challenges. I recognize him as a kid who is on the spectrum. I've encouraged my son to befriend him and to be patient with him. It has take a while, but they have formed a real friendship. Other parents have asked me quite bluntly " what's wrong with that kid " or have made rude comments like " his parents need to get him under control " or " I don't want my kid to be around him " or have talked to the principal about moving the child to a different classroom. My older son is much more severely affected, and the very same people have shown nothing but compassion and acceptance when it comes to him. They include him on playdates, they ask me about his progress, and they talk to their kids about including him and treating him as they would anyone else, even when he doesn't respond in a normal way. So, I guess I'm left feeling that it's better to disclose a diagnosis, if there's any possibility that the child's behaviors will set him apart from his peers. Geraldine [ ] To reveal diagnosis? My son is attending a typical preK. He has a 1:1 shadow, but we've worked hard to keep her on the " down low " with the other families, making her to appear as a classroom aide. We are considering keeping him at this school (parochial) next year. I often tell other parents he has SLP at our local public school, but haven't told anyone about his diagnosis. However, he has a twin brother and I am very open about his autism diagnosis, as he is in special education. If you have been in this situation, I am looking for advice. Is it better to be forthcoming to help explain those oddities that sometimes set him apart from the other children, or have you found this to back fire? I want him to have a fair shot going forward, and I don't know if revealing his diagnosis will help or hinder him. PS. The school administration is fully aware of his diagnosis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2007 Report Share Posted January 29, 2007 My younger, NT son has a classmate who has some quirks and some behavioral challenges. I recognize him as a kid who is on the spectrum. I've encouraged my son to befriend him and to be patient with him. It has take a while, but they have formed a real friendship. Other parents have asked me quite bluntly " what's wrong with that kid " or have made rude comments like " his parents need to get him under control " or " I don't want my kid to be around him " or have talked to the principal about moving the child to a different classroom. My older son is much more severely affected, and the very same people have shown nothing but compassion and acceptance when it comes to him. They include him on playdates, they ask me about his progress, and they talk to their kids about including him and treating him as they would anyone else, even when he doesn't respond in a normal way. So, I guess I'm left feeling that it's better to disclose a diagnosis, if there's any possibility that the child's behaviors will set him apart from his peers. Geraldine [ ] To reveal diagnosis? My son is attending a typical preK. He has a 1:1 shadow, but we've worked hard to keep her on the " down low " with the other families, making her to appear as a classroom aide. We are considering keeping him at this school (parochial) next year. I often tell other parents he has SLP at our local public school, but haven't told anyone about his diagnosis. However, he has a twin brother and I am very open about his autism diagnosis, as he is in special education. If you have been in this situation, I am looking for advice. Is it better to be forthcoming to help explain those oddities that sometimes set him apart from the other children, or have you found this to back fire? I want him to have a fair shot going forward, and I don't know if revealing his diagnosis will help or hinder him. PS. The school administration is fully aware of his diagnosis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 , Geraldine, Krista and others, Thank you for this helpful thread. My comment is similar but with a twist. I too like Krista have two children on the spectrum. Much like Geraldine and 's son, our older son's disability is quite remarkable, and as such we've been quite open with administrators, parents and students, who have been incredibly supportive throughout his young life, he's now 10. My younger son, 9, is high functioning and much like 's son presents as a child with a very high functioning child w/ AS, but his interest oddities and information processing abilities set him apart from other children. We have elected to keep his diagnosis private, but are always fully forthcoming about his challenges, difficulties and the supports he needs. The reason why, is we don't know how he would take it if we told him he has a form of Autism. His limited understanding on Autism is his brother and up until recently he's lacks the social maturity to understand about a spectrum of abilities and he would not have accepted that he too shares some of his brother's difficulties. He would have found the information confusing. While they were much younger I advocated for education reform in our small community quite openly and frequently, spoke to young teachers in training at our local university and these young teachers in our classrooms as a part of their training, sometimes ran into us in various settings, not being bound by confidentiality considerations in schools, several times spoke about our younger son and his disability right in front of him, he of course responded, " I don't have Autism, my brother does. I can talk " . Explanations to him would turn into pointless arguments as he would often focus on the wrong detail and go off on unrelated tangents. So My husband and I decided, until he was mature enough to be able to relate to people with different abilities and be able to recognize the cause and effect in himself, we were not going to share his diagnosis with him, AND in order to protect him from people who didn't exercise discretion when talking in front of a 5, 6 or 7 year old about subjects who could be incredibly confusing, we've maintained confidentiality about his diagnosis publicly until this year. We have been fortunate that his teachers were able to accommodate his unique challenges, but I agree it would have served him well as he was getting older to share his diagnosis a little bit more openly as others would definitely be more sympathetic and kinder towards him. ~Arzu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 , Geraldine, Krista and others, Thank you for this helpful thread. My comment is similar but with a twist. I too like Krista have two children on the spectrum. Much like Geraldine and 's son, our older son's disability is quite remarkable, and as such we've been quite open with administrators, parents and students, who have been incredibly supportive throughout his young life, he's now 10. My younger son, 9, is high functioning and much like 's son presents as a child with a very high functioning child w/ AS, but his interest oddities and information processing abilities set him apart from other children. We have elected to keep his diagnosis private, but are always fully forthcoming about his challenges, difficulties and the supports he needs. The reason why, is we don't know how he would take it if we told him he has a form of Autism. His limited understanding on Autism is his brother and up until recently he's lacks the social maturity to understand about a spectrum of abilities and he would not have accepted that he too shares some of his brother's difficulties. He would have found the information confusing. While they were much younger I advocated for education reform in our small community quite openly and frequently, spoke to young teachers in training at our local university and these young teachers in our classrooms as a part of their training, sometimes ran into us in various settings, not being bound by confidentiality considerations in schools, several times spoke about our younger son and his disability right in front of him, he of course responded, " I don't have Autism, my brother does. I can talk " . Explanations to him would turn into pointless arguments as he would often focus on the wrong detail and go off on unrelated tangents. So My husband and I decided, until he was mature enough to be able to relate to people with different abilities and be able to recognize the cause and effect in himself, we were not going to share his diagnosis with him, AND in order to protect him from people who didn't exercise discretion when talking in front of a 5, 6 or 7 year old about subjects who could be incredibly confusing, we've maintained confidentiality about his diagnosis publicly until this year. We have been fortunate that his teachers were able to accommodate his unique challenges, but I agree it would have served him well as he was getting older to share his diagnosis a little bit more openly as others would definitely be more sympathetic and kinder towards him. ~Arzu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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