Great question about revealing your child's DX

[Guest guest]

Hi group,

I was going to email Krista privately but her question was just so great and

dialog about this question is needed, in my opinion, so I decided to post my

answer to Krista and to the rest of the group.

Hi Krista,

I am a mom of a special needs son (severe learning disabilities, Aspie

traits at this point in his life; high functioning autism when younger.

is now 15 years old and doing great). I am also a Verbal Behavior/ABA

teacher and Montessori teacher. Your question is a great question and much

more complicated than what folks may understand upfront.

When was young, most consultants and books on special needs children

were pretty adamant about not sharing the diagnosis with anyone. There were

some pretty strong and good sounding arguments for not doing so but through

my experiences as both a mom and a teacher, I found the advice in all the

books pretty misleading. That is not to say that all folks who came into

contact with my son adequately handled his diagnosis when they were told

about it because that was not the case, either.

Instead of keeping 's diagnosis and specific challenges quiet across

the board, I decided to educate folks as much as I could about who he was

and what he needed to be successful while simply keeping away from

folks who could not, would not, did not want to understand him. There are

basically two truths I follow when it comes to talking about my son; 1)

Knowledge is power and 2) Do not throw pearls before swine. Good

educators/administrators will need, want, study, and use information about

your son to find ways to help him be successful; ineffective

educators/administrators will use information you give them to blame your

son (and you) for their failure as teachers/administrators.

Even before my son was born, I taught in a Montessori school that tried to

hide an autism diagnosis from me, as if I wouldn't figure out that the child

I was working with had special needs. As a young teacher who would have done

anything to understand a child's unique challenges, withholding vital

information from me was unproductive. When the parents of the child realized

this, we started being open and honest with each other and we worked

together to design an educational program and environment that would help

the child be successful in my classroom. I started going to conferences

about special needs children; I started reading everything I could get my

hands on about autism and learning disabilities. Had I not known what I was

dealing with, I would have just been extremely frustrated and unsuccessful.

There is another verse I claim that goes along with the " knowledge is power "

statement and that's " My people perish for lack of knowledge. " There is no

doubt in my mind that I would have failed the little guy in my first

classroom had I not been included and educated as an important part of his

" team. "

With this said, not all teachers were (or are today) like me and I could

tell you horror stories about some educators I've met over the years whose

faulty belief systems regarding autism, inclusion, and " educating toward

recovery " * worked against children and their families. Finding the right

folks to work with your dear son so you can be open, honest and a wealth of

information for people is so important but finding the right folks to work

with your son may be much harder than one would think in this day and age.

Parents need to be very careful and not assume anything when it comes to who

can deal with information regarding your son and who can't. Sometimes, the

very people I thought were " safe " turned out to turn against us. Take care,

* (I don't often follow the discussions on the listserv but if

folks haven't discovered Schramm's new book, Educate Toward Recovery,

I HIGHLY recommend this book. You can order it from www.knospe-aba.de

<http://www.knospe-aba.de/> )

[Guest guest]

great answer!

debra

mom and professional

[ ] Great question about revealing your child's DX

Hi group,

I was going to email Krista privately but her question was just so great and

dialog about this question is needed, in my opinion, so I decided to post my

answer to Krista and to the rest of the group.

Hi Krista,

I am a mom of a special needs son (severe learning disabilities, Aspie

traits at this point in his life; high functioning autism when younger.

is now 15 years old and doing great). I am also a Verbal Behavior/ABA

teacher and Montessori teacher. Your question is a great question and much

more complicated than what folks may understand upfront.

When was young, most consultants and books on special needs children

were pretty adamant about not sharing the diagnosis with anyone. There were

some pretty strong and good sounding arguments for not doing so but through

my experiences as both a mom and a teacher, I found the advice in all the

books pretty misleading. That is not to say that all folks who came into

contact with my son adequately handled his diagnosis when they were told

about it because that was not the case, either.

Instead of keeping 's diagnosis and specific challenges quiet across

the board, I decided to educate folks as much as I could about who he was

and what he needed to be successful while simply keeping away from

folks who could not, would not, did not want to understand him. There are

basically two truths I follow when it comes to talking about my son; 1)

Knowledge is power and 2) Do not throw pearls before swine. Good

educators/administrators will need, want, study, and use information about

your son to find ways to help him be successful; ineffective

educators/administrators will use information you give them to blame your

son (and you) for their failure as teachers/administrators.

Even before my son was born, I taught in a Montessori school that tried to

hide an autism diagnosis from me, as if I wouldn't figure out that the child

I was working with had special needs. As a young teacher who would have done

anything to understand a child's unique challenges, withholding vital

information from me was unproductive. When the parents of the child realized

this, we started being open and honest with each other and we worked

together to design an educational program and environment that would help

the child be successful in my classroom. I started going to conferences

about special needs children; I started reading everything I could get my

hands on about autism and learning disabilities. Had I not known what I was

dealing with, I would have just been extremely frustrated and unsuccessful.

There is another verse I claim that goes along with the " knowledge is power "

statement and that's " My people perish for lack of knowledge. " There is no

doubt in my mind that I would have failed the little guy in my first

classroom had I not been included and educated as an important part of his

" team. "

With this said, not all teachers were (or are today) like me and I could

tell you horror stories about some educators I've met over the years whose

faulty belief systems regarding autism, inclusion, and " educating toward

recovery " * worked against children and their families. Finding the right

folks to work with your dear son so you can be open, honest and a wealth of

information for people is so important but finding the right folks to work

with your son may be much harder than one would think in this day and age.

Parents need to be very careful and not assume anything when it comes to who

can deal with information regarding your son and who can't. Sometimes, the

very people I thought were " safe " turned out to turn against us. Take care,

* (I don't often follow the discussions on the listserv but if

folks haven't discovered Schramm's new book, Educate Toward Recovery,

I HIGHLY recommend this book. You can order it from www.knospe-aba.de

<http://www.knospe-aba.de/> )

[Guest guest]

great answer!

debra

mom and professional

[ ] Great question about revealing your child's DX

Hi group,

I was going to email Krista privately but her question was just so great and

dialog about this question is needed, in my opinion, so I decided to post my

answer to Krista and to the rest of the group.

Hi Krista,

I am a mom of a special needs son (severe learning disabilities, Aspie

traits at this point in his life; high functioning autism when younger.

is now 15 years old and doing great). I am also a Verbal Behavior/ABA

teacher and Montessori teacher. Your question is a great question and much

more complicated than what folks may understand upfront.

When was young, most consultants and books on special needs children

were pretty adamant about not sharing the diagnosis with anyone. There were

some pretty strong and good sounding arguments for not doing so but through

my experiences as both a mom and a teacher, I found the advice in all the

books pretty misleading. That is not to say that all folks who came into

contact with my son adequately handled his diagnosis when they were told

about it because that was not the case, either.

Instead of keeping 's diagnosis and specific challenges quiet across

the board, I decided to educate folks as much as I could about who he was

and what he needed to be successful while simply keeping away from

folks who could not, would not, did not want to understand him. There are

basically two truths I follow when it comes to talking about my son; 1)

Knowledge is power and 2) Do not throw pearls before swine. Good

educators/administrators will need, want, study, and use information about

your son to find ways to help him be successful; ineffective

educators/administrators will use information you give them to blame your

son (and you) for their failure as teachers/administrators.

Even before my son was born, I taught in a Montessori school that tried to

hide an autism diagnosis from me, as if I wouldn't figure out that the child

I was working with had special needs. As a young teacher who would have done

anything to understand a child's unique challenges, withholding vital

information from me was unproductive. When the parents of the child realized

this, we started being open and honest with each other and we worked

together to design an educational program and environment that would help

the child be successful in my classroom. I started going to conferences

about special needs children; I started reading everything I could get my

hands on about autism and learning disabilities. Had I not known what I was

dealing with, I would have just been extremely frustrated and unsuccessful.

There is another verse I claim that goes along with the " knowledge is power "

statement and that's " My people perish for lack of knowledge. " There is no

doubt in my mind that I would have failed the little guy in my first

classroom had I not been included and educated as an important part of his

" team. "

With this said, not all teachers were (or are today) like me and I could

tell you horror stories about some educators I've met over the years whose

faulty belief systems regarding autism, inclusion, and " educating toward

recovery " * worked against children and their families. Finding the right

folks to work with your dear son so you can be open, honest and a wealth of

information for people is so important but finding the right folks to work

with your son may be much harder than one would think in this day and age.

Parents need to be very careful and not assume anything when it comes to who

can deal with information regarding your son and who can't. Sometimes, the

very people I thought were " safe " turned out to turn against us. Take care,

* (I don't often follow the discussions on the listserv but if

folks haven't discovered Schramm's new book, Educate Toward Recovery,

I HIGHLY recommend this book. You can order it from www.knospe-aba.de

<http://www.knospe-aba.de/> )

[Guest guest]

and group,

I am parent to a 15YO son with the dual dx/autism and spastic diplegia. He

is nonverbal and nonambulatory. " Hiding " his diagnosis was never an option. As

he has gone through elementary,middle and now high school,my experience is as

's post suggests. Some teachers and staff including administrators have

been great. Some have been indifferent,a few really hostile to inclusive

schooling for a child as significantly disabled as my son.

I have come to treat them as individuals. I am very forthcoming with those

who show interest. With others,I respond to the questions they ask,come to

their meetings and keep my expectations in line with their level of interest.

,Colin P's mom

[ ] Great question about revealing your child's DX

Hi group,

I was going to email Krista privately but her question was just so great and

dialog about this question is needed, in my opinion, so I decided to post my

answer to Krista and to the rest of the group.

Hi Krista,

I am a mom of a special needs son (severe learning disabilities, Aspie

traits at this point in his life; high functioning autism when younger.

is now 15 years old and doing great). I am also a Verbal Behavior/ABA

teacher and Montessori teacher. Your question is a great question and much

more complicated than what folks may understand upfront.

When was young, most consultants and books on special needs children

were pretty adamant about not sharing the diagnosis with anyone. There were

some pretty strong and good sounding arguments for not doing so but through

my experiences as both a mom and a teacher, I found the advice in all the

books pretty misleading. That is not to say that all folks who came into

contact with my son adequately handled his diagnosis when they were told

about it because that was not the case, either.

Instead of keeping 's diagnosis and specific challenges quiet across

the board, I decided to educate folks as much as I could about who he was

and what he needed to be successful while simply keeping away from

folks who could not, would not, did not want to understand him. There are

basically two truths I follow when it comes to talking about my son; 1)

Knowledge is power and 2) Do not throw pearls before swine. Good

educators/administrators will need, want, study, and use information about

your son to find ways to help him be successful; ineffective

educators/administrators will use information you give them to blame your

son (and you) for their failure as teachers/administrators.

Even before my son was born, I taught in a Montessori school that tried to

hide an autism diagnosis from me, as if I wouldn't figure out that the child

I was working with had special needs. As a young teacher who would have done

anything to understand a child's unique challenges, withholding vital

information from me was unproductive. When the parents of the child realized

this, we started being open and honest with each other and we worked

together to design an educational program and environment that would help

the child be successful in my classroom. I started going to conferences

about special needs children; I started reading everything I could get my

hands on about autism and learning disabilities. Had I not known what I was

dealing with, I would have just been extremely frustrated and unsuccessful.

There is another verse I claim that goes along with the " knowledge is power "

statement and that's " My people perish for lack of knowledge. " There is no

doubt in my mind that I would have failed the little guy in my first

classroom had I not been included and educated as an important part of his

" team. "

With this said, not all teachers were (or are today) like me and I could

tell you horror stories about some educators I've met over the years whose

faulty belief systems regarding autism, inclusion, and " educating toward

recovery " * worked against children and their families. Finding the right

folks to work with your dear son so you can be open, honest and a wealth of

information for people is so important but finding the right folks to work

with your son may be much harder than one would think in this day and age.

Parents need to be very careful and not assume anything when it comes to who

can deal with information regarding your son and who can't. Sometimes, the

very people I thought were " safe " turned out to turn against us. Take care,

* (I don't often follow the discussions on the listserv but if

folks haven't discovered Schramm's new book, Educate Toward Recovery,

I HIGHLY recommend this book. You can order it from www.knospe-aba.de

<http://www.knospe-aba.de/> )

[Guest guest]

and group,

I am parent to a 15YO son with the dual dx/autism and spastic diplegia. He

is nonverbal and nonambulatory. " Hiding " his diagnosis was never an option. As

he has gone through elementary,middle and now high school,my experience is as

's post suggests. Some teachers and staff including administrators have

been great. Some have been indifferent,a few really hostile to inclusive

schooling for a child as significantly disabled as my son.

I have come to treat them as individuals. I am very forthcoming with those

who show interest. With others,I respond to the questions they ask,come to

their meetings and keep my expectations in line with their level of interest.

,Colin P's mom

[ ] Great question about revealing your child's DX

Hi group,

I was going to email Krista privately but her question was just so great and

dialog about this question is needed, in my opinion, so I decided to post my

answer to Krista and to the rest of the group.

Hi Krista,

I am a mom of a special needs son (severe learning disabilities, Aspie

traits at this point in his life; high functioning autism when younger.

is now 15 years old and doing great). I am also a Verbal Behavior/ABA

teacher and Montessori teacher. Your question is a great question and much

more complicated than what folks may understand upfront.

When was young, most consultants and books on special needs children

were pretty adamant about not sharing the diagnosis with anyone. There were

some pretty strong and good sounding arguments for not doing so but through

my experiences as both a mom and a teacher, I found the advice in all the

books pretty misleading. That is not to say that all folks who came into

contact with my son adequately handled his diagnosis when they were told

about it because that was not the case, either.

Instead of keeping 's diagnosis and specific challenges quiet across

the board, I decided to educate folks as much as I could about who he was

and what he needed to be successful while simply keeping away from

folks who could not, would not, did not want to understand him. There are

basically two truths I follow when it comes to talking about my son; 1)

Knowledge is power and 2) Do not throw pearls before swine. Good

educators/administrators will need, want, study, and use information about

your son to find ways to help him be successful; ineffective

educators/administrators will use information you give them to blame your

son (and you) for their failure as teachers/administrators.

Even before my son was born, I taught in a Montessori school that tried to

hide an autism diagnosis from me, as if I wouldn't figure out that the child

I was working with had special needs. As a young teacher who would have done

anything to understand a child's unique challenges, withholding vital

information from me was unproductive. When the parents of the child realized

this, we started being open and honest with each other and we worked

together to design an educational program and environment that would help

the child be successful in my classroom. I started going to conferences

about special needs children; I started reading everything I could get my

hands on about autism and learning disabilities. Had I not known what I was

dealing with, I would have just been extremely frustrated and unsuccessful.

There is another verse I claim that goes along with the " knowledge is power "

statement and that's " My people perish for lack of knowledge. " There is no

doubt in my mind that I would have failed the little guy in my first

classroom had I not been included and educated as an important part of his

" team. "

With this said, not all teachers were (or are today) like me and I could

tell you horror stories about some educators I've met over the years whose

faulty belief systems regarding autism, inclusion, and " educating toward

recovery " * worked against children and their families. Finding the right

folks to work with your dear son so you can be open, honest and a wealth of

information for people is so important but finding the right folks to work

with your son may be much harder than one would think in this day and age.

Parents need to be very careful and not assume anything when it comes to who

can deal with information regarding your son and who can't. Sometimes, the

very people I thought were " safe " turned out to turn against us. Take care,

* (I don't often follow the discussions on the listserv but if

folks haven't discovered Schramm's new book, Educate Toward Recovery,

I HIGHLY recommend this book. You can order it from www.knospe-aba.de

<http://www.knospe-aba.de/> )