Re: New here - and Christmas letters

December 29, 2008

Hi,

Jacquie,

what you need to focus on right now is one_day_at_a_time! This is what I had to

learn to get to this point since August. In the early stages of my DD's

diagnosis, I truly despaired at what would become of her. She's in 8th grade,

not an easy time anyway, and she's always been a bit " off " , so was never a

social butterfly anyway. OCD pretty much killed what social life she did have,

but ONLY because she was so consumed with her fears, she couldn't relate

normally. She has gotten better and is making more effort to be more outgoing,

friendly, and actually start a conversation. She also recently told 4 girls in

her class that she is closest to about the OCD, and like someone else said, they

said " oh, ok " and that was that. We can't homeschool due to the need to both

work, but for my daughter, having to go to school saved her, I think. Keeping

her home would have been worse for her because her OCD is worse at home and much

better in public. She will have to contend with the outside world in 4 short

years, so learning to handle her OCD in public this year has been invaluable

experience for her, and as we've told her, no one ever promised her life would

be easy (of course, she's 14, you can't tell a 5-year old that). Everyone's

experience and handling of their child's OCD is different; you'll find what

works for you and your family.

Other suggestions I would offer is don't allow yourself to follow your son's

moods. Don't let him having a bad day make your day bad (again, a hard lesson

for me). I've tried hard not to let my mood be in direct proportion to my

daughter's mood; if I stay calm and even, the whole situation is better. You

will need to establish a " new normal " . Allow yourself to mourn your old way of

life, and then move on.

Just to give you a ray of hope; after 6 months, our DD is much better now. She's

also on Lexapro, which I think now is helping. She's got plans for her future,

like getting her master's degree in Library Science, moving to Florida someday,

etc. Most days she is pretty happy and so far, the OCD things have become such

a part of our lives, we've all just adjusted to it. The most times she's having

a " bad day " is centered around her " time of the month " , which you don't have to

worry about (you're lucky there!)

Debbie

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