current stressors and dealing with them...

[Guest guest]

How is everyone doing with the holidays? how is everyone dealing with

change? I recently changed my living arrangements (from a house to a

trailer park) and it's been stressful. My DH has been keeping up a

steady drone of micro-managing and fault finding and i finally told

him to back off. That I was an adult, that he is not going to change

me at this late date in life, that I didn't deserve his constant

criticism and to lighten up. It felt good to finally state my

truth. Even though he never reacts the way I'd like, i.e. he

redoubles his accusations and raises his voice.... It is hard to

live with a control freak, but this is my reality at the moment.

I am always more emotional around the holidays, and the stress of my

spouse's constant corrections plus living in more close quarters have

wrecked my good eating of the past couple months. I am telling myself

now that this is an opportunity to re-commit to taking action & to be

kind to myself first.

said (forget which podcast) that " you can hate yourself thin " ,

and this is what I have done off and on for years, i.e very strict

dieting, being happy with my lower weight, but it always results in

periods of out-of-control eating to self-medicate into a food coma!!!

Pretty silly!!! However, I choose to reframe this into an

opportunity to develop acceptance. Acceptance that we all have

liabilities. Some liabilities are more easy to see than others, and

the hidden emotional ones are harder to recognize. Acceptance that

if I want more peace and calm I must take responsibility for my

eating habits and realize that self-medicating with food works really

well but at a HUGE COST!!... which I am no longer willing to pay.

Acceptance that to try to fight reality is insane!! My reality is

that I have to deal with a decent spouse who is a control freak. I

sometimes cope with emotional eating. I will try to muster up some

gratitude for possible liabilities that i DON'T have!!

I got the book Shrink Yourself from recommendations of fellow IOWL

yahoo group members. So a treat for myself is to DO THE WORK on the

podcasts and in S.Y. instead of worrying so much about taking care of

the DH so he won't blow a gasket. Altho I don't have easy internet

access (have to go to the local library to log on) I am grateful I

still can access you folks. Sure do appreciate you all. 'Bye for

now!!!

reninth