Re: Re: Newbie Here :)

[Guest guest]

Guilt is a nasty little thing. Without getting into a deep sociological

discussion, it is often used to gain " power over " another. I suspect it is

being done on a subconscious level. People are very resistant to change, and

while you make think you are the one changing; they are being forced to

change by you. They have an image of you and it fits neatly in their little

world view. When you start to change yourself, you are forcing them to

change their image of you and thus their world view.

Like I said, this is subconscious resistance on their part. They don't want

you to be fat, they don't usually realize they are doing anything " wrong. "

(Wrong is another loaded word, like guilt).

Ok, so tricks to avoiding these situations. Get a smaller portion. If

confronted, say " I can always go back for more. " Assure them there will be

plenty. " It will be okay " is a great non-committal line that is tough to

argue with. Now, when eating, really put the brakes on. Since most people

eat to fast anyway, you should already be eating more slowly and

thoughtfully. Now, go even slower. Physically put the fork down between

bites and do not pick it up again until you have swallowed all of the foot

in you mouth. Even adding a sip of water before picking the fork up again.

When you have swallowed it all, take the fork and carefully portion a very

small bite and repeat the whole process. Even if there is more left when you

are done, if you finish your first serving the same time (or even a little

after) everyone else is done eating; you will unlikely meet any resistance

to avoiding the second helping.

And always avoid the, " It's just a small bit left. I would hate to throw it

away, " or the even better " It's just a small bit left. I would hate to dirty

a dish/waste the foil to save it. " If you are done, then throw it away or

dirty the dish and waste the foil.

> Good for you! I totally agree with you on how changing your eating

> habits and losing weight changes many relationships. This is still a

> big issue for me. I have so many friends/family who congregate around

> big, unhealthy meals and snacks and desserts and large restaurant

> meals. Food is so often the focus for the people I am close to. When I

> order healthy or light, if I don't heap on the food, or if I skip a

> snack or dessert, I deal with one of the following:

>

> 1. " oh come on, you can have some, it's a special occassion " as if I'm

> torturing or punishing myself by not overeating or not overindulging

> along with them.

>

> 2. Guilt. They act like if I don't indulge and overeat with them, it

> makes them feel guilty or out of control and then it feels like that's

> MY fault. That's the toughest one for me and what often causes me to

> just indulge to alleviate any tension for the other person. I'm

> working really hard to quit sabotaging myself in that way. Even if

> they don't say anything, I will see them watching me, and see them

> feeling self-conscious about their choices/amounts and then I start

> feeling guilty. Ugh.

>

>

> >

> > Hello and thank you for letting me join your group! I just wanted to

> > introduce myself. I'll try to keep this to the Reader's Digest

> > version, but I usually tend to ramble on...

> >

> > Brief history:

> > My name is Esther. I just turned 29, weigh 204 (down from 220) at

> > 5'2 " and I am an emotional compulsive binger. I've always been chunky

> > but medication to treat a kidney disease at age 19 packed 40 more

> > pounds in 3 months! I've " dieted " my entire life since I was about 9

> > or 10 but have never been successful. I never believed I could

> > actually achieve results.

> >

> > So here's my recent story...

> > I hadn't ever watched it before but this past season (5) of The

> > Biggest Loser had me hooked and inspired! I decided to get some

> > friends at work to join in a Biggest Loser contest of our own. For

> > about the first 1 1/2 months I was down 9 pounds before plateauing. I

> > went to a very dark place during that plateau but thankfully somehow

> > stumbled upon Inside Out Weight Loss. Let me just tell you what a

> > blessing it has been for me! Shortly after I began listening to

> > I lost 4 pounds in a week and then 3 pounds last week- without even

> > really feeling like I was trying! It was wonderful! Now I don't feel

> > like it's healthy for me to lose that much every week, but after

> > several weeks with no loss I'm extatic! IOWL is exactly what will

> > help me become the healthy, steamy hot girl I want to be!

> >

> > I may not be here often since I'm quite busy, but I'm so grateful to

> > have a group to support and be supported by! All but 3 of us at work

> > dropped out of our contest but I'm still going strong. It's been

> > tough with a few co-workers and family members. There's a dynamic

> > shift with many relationships that happens when you make a positive

> > change and they stay where they're at. I get a lot of slack (from

> > other overweight people by the way) for things like measuring and

> > weighing my food, counting my calories, or eating salads. But Ive

> > been so far off base for so long that I am working on retraining my

> > body (and eyes) to know what a sensible portion for me really is.

> >

> > I'm not caught up on the episodes at this point but can't wait to

> > hear what else has to teach me! Even if I'm not here often,

> > I'll be listening!

> >

> > Sorry to ramble on...

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

On Fri, May 30, 2008 at 10:34 PM, estherlongmore

wrote:

> .

> If I were just sitting there and no cookies were around I wouldn't be

> thinking " I

> want a cookie " .

>

That is so totally awesome. What a wonderful way to look at temptations.

" Would I want this food if it weren't sitting there? " Excellent tool for

getting through some tough times. It really puts things into perspective.

And I didnt think your post was negative, so please keep posting.

Randy