toileting

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/30/01 3:11:35 PM Eastern Standard Time,

ICANFIELD@... writes:

> is still giving me problems with the pics since the

> death of our MIL , I'm still having to try to find ways of having him

> follow his schedule . He tells me " not yet " , he has become pretty

> verbal lately . 3 words in a sentence and thats alright as he never

> said anything in the past besides " NO' , " go away " .

>

>

>

What is 's schedule? How often do you want him to go? We haven't really

got a schedule down yet with Rochelle. Just after meals and before bath. Then

we try a half hour later if she hasn't gone in 3 or 4 hours. But maybe we

should have a more concrete schedule. You think?

>That stick pot, he does well at school but not at home . <

Is it the holidays?

>He still uses reg. underwear and for some reason he is into wanting to wear

only the white ones , I like the boxer briefs. He wins because its his

choice . <

Do you think the jockey underwear is a sensory issue. It probably gives him

more sensory imput being it is tighter. Just something I heard from an OT.

Are boxer briefs snug? I like the boxer briefs too. Haven't tried them on my

son because he probably won't wear them either.

>You did not mention but sounds

like Rochelle is good not playing with # 2 >

Yes, Rochelle does not play with # 2. Small blessings. She is hypersensitve

in the hands. She hates to hold things like her fork or spoon.

>Thanks ! Hope you had a nice one too . How old is your neice ? Is she

a toddler ? I agree if he wants to go to a public restroom , which I

can't stand, but I'll do it for him >

My niece is almost 15 now. It was years ago that she would have to check out

every restroom when they were traveling or at home. But it use to bug my

sister to no end. I remembered because it bothered her so much and we use to

talk about it. My neice use to tie herself up in ropes or strings too. The

daycare people didn't know what to make of it. Scared my sister. But she is a

very sweet, straight A student now. She turned out ok.

>When you almost see that she is

ready for it , turn it into a game on the turn taking . >

I think I will try this. Thanks Irma for the idea. Just never thought of

potty training as a game.

Diane

[Guest guest]

> Irma, I was trying to use a picture of toilet to hand her when we

go potty. ( so she will be able to communicate her need to go) Well,

she peed on the picture not in the potty. LOLO. Guess I need to

laminate it.

How funny ! Too cute , this was too good . Ah , it was a potty , just

not the actual potty you wanted her to use . Great job on peeing ,

though . is still giving me problems with the pics since the

death of our MIL , I'm still having to try to find ways of having him

follow his schedule . He tells me " not yet " , he has become pretty

verbal lately . 3 words in a sentence and thats alright as he never

said anything in the past besides " NO' , " go away " .

The school gave me a boardmaker schedule with days running Monday

thru Friday. Hello, what about Saturday and Sunday. They expected me

to give her stickers when she goes. Stickers do nothing for Rochelle.

Soooo, I need think of a better motivator. She doesn't like chocolate

either. I used M & M's for my son. But this did not work for long.

I hope you do find something she would enjoy as a reward . Maybe just

the high five (praise) . Gosh ! Its neat that you were given a

boardmaker schedule , but yep ! There are 2 more days to live by ,

silly school staff . does not care for any stickers or candy

at home at school he is given candy and accepts it . That stick pot ,

he does well at school but not at home . His teacher had asked if I

could leave with her during this holiday break , of course I

responded . " Go for it " . I actually have not picked up the phone

to call her , though . I'll give her the rest and I'll just keep

trying to get him back to the way were at home . He still uses reg.

underwear and for some reason he is into wanting to wear only the

white ones , I like the boxer briefs. He wins because its his

choice . He'll hold it until its time for bedtime and woosh , goes

the water fountain all over the bed . Speak about regressing during

this trial .

>

> Seriously, she only goes about 3 or 4x a day so far. She

successfully pottied 2x in 5 days. We are using pull ups at night.

That is good , just getting the hang of going that's ok . Yeah !

Rochelle !

>It doesn't seem to bother her when she is wet or stinky.

Nah, that's part of the sensory issue , does not understand the

meaning of the wetness or the stinks. You did not mention but sounds

like Rochelle is good not playing with # 2 . That is very good .

> I am thinking of not changing her so quickly. Maybe putting the

plastic panties on over the underwear.

Thats sounds good and she will start understanding the feel of being

wet in a months time if she continues wearing an underwear during the

day . Hopefully sooner than that . You just never know .

>It must be hard to potty train after they grow bigger than size 4

underwear. That's another reason I'm trying to train her now.

Tell me about it , Rochelle is still small compared to .

wore Pampers until the age of 12 . During his elementary days

the school did not want to deal the pull-ups . Then finally the pull-

ups came into the picture when he had reached Middle school and we

(teacher & I ) had some serious decisions to make , finally we

said " lets go for it " .

> Even, if she is just trained by a schedule rather than

communicating. It's really neat to save the money on the pull-ups but

I am probably spending it on the washing detergent.

Hey ! I'll take the detergent over the pull-ups anytime . Give

yourself a great big pat on the back , just for getting her to use

the schedule routine . This a biggie step . Remember the author with

autism to this day she still follows a schedule but not to stop you

as I mention this because its just knowing that our kids can do it

and we can help do something about it . Here is wishing you success

in this area for the year 2002 . Remember its going take some

time .

>

> Glad you had a calm Christmas. Good luck with toilet training

. Sounds like my neice who use to want to go to every restroom

in every mall or restaurant. At least, he wants to go. Rochelle will

do a belly flop as soon as I mention potty. But, I don't get mad. I

am going to just keep trying.

> Diane

Thanks ! Hope you had a nice one too . How old is your neice ? Is she

a toddler ? I agree if he wants to go to a public restroom , which I

can't stand, but I'll do it for him . Sounds like Rochelle is not

ready for the Public restroom yet , that in time . Big hugs for the

trial at home , though . Rochelle still does the belly flop , yes,

its not worth getting mad . Just let her cool down and then proceed .

Don't even mention the potty word . When you almost see that she is

ready for it , turn it into a game on the turn taking . You know me I

go on and on . Luck with this issue , stay posted on this as we mosey

on . I know , I'll celebrate just getting back into the

routine at home . Ok , take care .

Irma, 13,DS/ASD

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/31/01 10:29:41 AM Eastern Standard Time,

mashawnag@... writes:

> We also

> cut way down on the fluids after 8pm--no more than ONE

> water cup for the noc in his room either. soory soo

> long, hope this hleps. shawna.

>

>

Thanks a for the schedule. This is what we are trying to do too. I will

wait for night time training though. I can't imagine waking a sleeping child.

LOLO She gets up enough at night on her own. It seems to be the same time

everynight to the minute.

Diane (mom to Rochelle 5)

[Guest guest]

we use to have natha on a schedule, before he was

potty trained. At first you have to pic a section of

the day when child is more willing. started by

going every hour ffrom uup in the morning until

noon/lunch, then as he figured this out after a couple

weeks, we lengthened it to ervery two hours, then up

the time frame too, during day/school hours,

eventually after nathan got this down we add time

frame every two hours until bed. When he started not

having to go or refusing to go every two hours we

upped it to every three hours, and eventually set

times for the day/eve. AS for the nite time,that was

the last to schedule and train, and nathan still on

rare occasions may wet the bed. I had a book to hlep

me with the night time training and scheduling it, its

somewhere in a file im sure. It was something like go

before bed, which is something we all do, then i think

wait a couple hours wake child up and have them go, if

they dont go remember the time and try 15min later the

next night, and then you will need to wake child up

and try again an hour or two later. We figured out

nathan usually had to go around 2am. After you figure

out a good time then each week you up the amount of

time you wait until you wake them, you can go slow at

5min or even 15min per week, until they are able to

either automatically wake up on own and go at that

time or train their bladders to wait until the

morning, which weve done wit nathan i think. We also

cut way down on the fluids after 8pm--no more than ONE

water cup for the noc in his room either. soory soo

long, hope this hleps. shawna.

=====

shawna

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

> What is 's schedule? How often do you want him to go?

Totally a mess with the holidays . Yesterday evening , I think he is

coming around , don't want to jump for joy , yet . Right now , I just

want him to use it and release his bladder . When he wakes up , near

lunch hour & so on . When we first started every 30 minutes with his

pull-ups on . Then the underwear , so that he could get the hang of

feeling wet . Increased it to every hour . Then about every 2 hrs.

Charting it for 2 weeks until you start seeing a pattern and this

will give you an idea of when to set the schedule .

>We haven't really got a schedule down yet with Rochelle. Just after

meals and before bath. Then we try a half hour later if she hasn't

gone in 3 or 4 hours. But maybe we should have a more concrete

schedule. You think?

If this is working for you and Rochelle , this is fine at least

you're not pushing her towards it and you have Rochelle cooperating .

Don't change it for now , sounds very good .

>Is it the holidays?

Yes, along with not seeing his favorite teacher's aide . He had

regressed at home , like trying to prove something to us for leaving

him behind when we flew to Ind. I kind of sense this, because I

sometimes know how my family moods are and they freak out when this

happens . Yep , has feelings too , just don't know how to

express it , verbally . I know he has become pretty attached to us

and when he sees us walking out into the garage he says " shoes

on " , " toys " , in other words he's coming along to .

> Do you think the jockey underwear is a sensory issue. It probably

gives him more sensory imput being it is tighter. Just something I

heard from an OT.

Yes, definitely , got to have the snuggles . I hate to mention this ,

kinda of embarrasing but I'll even find a little action figure inside

his hiney . I had noticed some scratch marks on his bottom and could

not firgure it out . I thought maybe they were carpet burns . Now , I

have to check him out when he is quiet with toys on hand . Speak

about never-ending surprises .

> Are boxer briefs snug? I like the boxer briefs too. Haven't tried

them on my son because he probably won't wear them either.

They're cute and not as snuggie .

> Yes, Rochelle does not play with # 2. Small blessings.

Definitely a Blessing . did at first , what a mess . This is

now , if I'm not around for when he poops in his underwear , I'll

find them in the waste basket . Bleach in my house is constantly

because I have a weak stomach , well besides making sure everything

is sanitized and clean . Speak about sensitive issues , I guess it

runs in the genes .

> She is hypersensitve in the hands. She hates to hold things like

her fork or spoon.

So how is she eating ? Eating lots of finger food ?

>

> My niece is almost 15 now. It was years ago that she would have to

check out every restroom when they were traveling or at home. But it

use to bug my sister to no end. I remembered because it bothered her

so much and we use to talk about it. My neice use to tie herself up

in ropes or strings too. The daycare people didn't know what to make

of it. Scared my sister. But she is a very sweet, straight A student

now. She turned out ok.

Thank goodness , hmm . Sounds like she is GT (gifted & talented ) and

her mind was always challenging and when bored you name it . Another

genetic resemblance (sp.) here .

> I think I will try this. Thanks Irma for the idea. Just never

thought of potty training as a game.

I wish my DH and and 's 2 brothers were aware of everything

we're learning now , on how positive role models can help visually

when was younger . I'm the only female at home and at least

everybody keeps the toilet seat down . : ) Yes, now we turned it into

a game on turn-taking . It makes him feel good and says " ok " , " my

turn " . Now that he is slowly coming around , maybe now we could go

back to this . But , then you just never know how their brains work

and we just try anything that will work . Ok , take care and you're

doing wonderful . Hugs.

Irma, 13,DS/ASD

[Guest guest]

>AS for the nite time,that was the last to schedule and train, and

nathan still on rare occasions may wet the bed. I had a book to hlep

> me with the night time training and scheduling it, its

> somewhere in a file im sure.

Thanks a , sounds interesting . When you get a chance to find

this book , do share some more for when we cross this bridge .

Irma, 13,DS/ASD

P. S. Did ever regressed during his toilet training ? But

still followed the schedule at school , some relatives home , or out

in public places . Just not at home .

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/2/02 6:57:16 PM Eastern Standard Time,

mashawnag@... writes:

>

>

>

>

>

> oh yes, nathan would regress occasionally on toileting

>

Just a little input. Regression in toileting is SO normal!!! Maddie is

nowhere near being potty trained, but I trained 4 before her. It is very

natural for regression to take place. And I would imagine that as with

everything else wiht our kids, the regression may last a little longer??

Donna

[Guest guest]

oh yes, nathan would regress occasionally on toileting

too. He would be going along real good staying on

schedule, then all of a sudden he constantly is

wetting his pants several times a day, uuugh. I think

we finally got over that, since this summer and

miralax, its just been the rare occasion of nocturrnal

bed wetting. shawna.

=====

shawna

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

> In a message dated 1/2/02 6:57:16 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> mashawnag@y... writes:

> > oh yes, nathan would regress occasionally on toileting

> >

> Just a little input. Regression in toileting is SO normal!!!

Maddie is nowhere near being potty trained, but I trained 4 before

her. It is very natural for regression to take place. And I would

imagine that as with everything else wiht our kids, the regression

may last a little longer??

> Donna

>

Thanks Donna & a ,

Just wanted to make sure I was not regressing myself , you know not

doing my part , Whew !.... actually has been coming around

since New Year's Eve , he followed me like a shadow . Saw me go visit

JANE (restroom ) and then said " my turn " . Boy ! Did I want to fire

a firework but unfortunately their illegal here in our City . Of

course I would not do that, but he did have some vanilla ice cream

with choc. syrup , one of his favorite and a high five .

Irma, 13,DS/ASD

[Guest guest]

heheh vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup is a fav

of nathan's too,lol. shawna.

=====

shawna

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I got side tracked and forgot to mention after (if) you get him used to pooping

with the pull up on over the toilet, you can start cutting holes in the bottom

of the pull up until the hole gets so big he's OK not wearing it.

bobcathshek <Bobcath4@...> wrote:Hi, We had the very same issue with my

son when he was four years

old. He had no interest in toilet training at all, flat out refused.

One day I tokk his clothes off (he never liked to be naked either)put

a potty chair in front of the tv and told him he needed to use the

potty today! He peed in his hand twice but never sat on the potty.

After a couple hours I caught him squatting in the corner and I picked

him up and his poop made the pottty chair just in time. He has never

had an accident since then! he has worn 'big boy' underwear ever

since! By the way he has General anxiety and social anxiety.

in MA

Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at:

/ .

Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.(

http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., (

http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Birkhan,

Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail

Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or suggestions may be

addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... ,

louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... .

[Guest guest]

Hi there,

For a couple of months now we have been trying to toilet train my 10 year old

son who only knows how to do a bowel in his pull-ups standing up - he

doesn't know how to sit on the toilet and do a bowel motion. Although we had a

couple of little successes early on we now don't seem to be making much

progress. Here is what we are doing:

In the morning we give him 2 teaspoons of lactulose syrup with his breakfast.

He goes to school and his teachers take him to the toilet every hour to do a

wee. If they suspect that he wants to do bowel motion they take him to sit on

the toilet. Before they take him to the toilet they show him a sentence strip

that says " I need to go to the toilet " with a picture of him sitting on the

toilet - we do this at home now as well.

When he gets home from school at 3 pm I give him a suppository. He is usually

quite unsettled and getting pretty desperate to do a bowel motion so we take him

to the toilet. But after some time we take him off the toilet because he hasn't

done anything and he doesn't look like he is going to so we take him off, but a

few minutes after we have let him off the toilet he looks like he wants to go

again so we put him back on. He is so stubborn and will sit on the toilet with

his legs crossed tightly. I have seen him trying to walk with his legs crossed!

We have a caregiver with him from 3.00- 5.30 pm and then when they go home my

husband and I do our best taking turns watching and not give him any

opportunities to stand up and do a poo but have sometimes not being quick enough

and has managed to do a small poo in his pants. Sometimes we stay up

quite late at night while sits on the toilet because we know that he

wants to go but in the end we have to put him to bed and a couple of times he

has messed his pull-ups (only a little bit) while in bed.

We use lots and lots of postive reinforcement when does sit on the

toilet, or does a wee in the toilet. We also give him a cold shower when he

poos in his pants. I don't enjoy giving him a cold shower but we feel that as

well as positive reinforcement we need to use a punishment of some sort. We

have been doing this for a while but it doesn't seem to be working.

appears to understand what's going on and will even say " if you poo your pants

you get a cold shower. " He also says " If you poo in the toilet you get an

icecream " , but he is obviously just repeating what we have been saying to him

and not really understanding.

I realize that this is going to be a very hard habit to break as has

been standing up doing poos in his pants for 10 years now. I think that we will

need to employ another caregiver to sit with between 5.30 and 8.00pm or

something as I am finding it really hard to do this every night.

Do we just keep on the toilet without letting him up at all and do we

keep him sitting on the toilet all night until the morning?

I would appreciate any help.

Kind Regards,