Two and half Men? Is that really possible? I have opened up and this is what came out. It's a lil long

[Guest guest]

--- Deliman wrote:

> To: HepatitisCSupportGroupForDummies

>

> Date: Mon, 7 Jan 2008 12:40:55 -0800 (PST)

> Subject: RE: Hey, men????

>

> Hi ..

>

> Thanks for your reply.. I have basically been in limboland

> from day one.

> I, being a man,am not going tell the world I am worthless.

> Of course sometimes I feel I'm not appealing to women as a man

> should be, but I am not worthless. Since I started , I take

twenty two pills aday,Lactulose, deal with it the best I can.

However, I am not worthless.

>

> Since day one, no car no driving. I rode my M/C for awhile,

> because

> I needed to.. Then, one afternoon, when it got dark, and started

pouring rain, I looked around me (I live in China town, where the

street signs are in Engwish and Asian, and ALL of the store fronts

use Asian letters to make the big flourescent signs,and had no idea

where I was! I used to like the rain, under thirty mph, and the

night. I was 2 blocks from my house, the road I was on is major. I

was lost, in everything, it seems. It was disturbing.

Your " date " wants to go out? Why Yes I'd love to!! But honey you

see, you will have to drive me around because I've been ordered not

to drive anymore.No... thats right my sweet lil punkin, I don't

have a job either...can't concentrate on anything. I am not doing

that good taking care of just me. Yes...I am on welfare.... and

OH! BTW, how much ARE these tickets? Do you mind if we go Dutch?

I'm not allowed to make any money, according to the Medicare folks.

Please pull over at the next gas station..I have got to pee

something fierce! No No... I'm OK.. I just tripped on the curb..but

maybe you could help me to stand up?

I would invite you in to my house, but my place is like a tornado

went thru it...and the kitchen?? DANGER ZONE.. The things that are

growing there are amazing!! Whats that honey? Yes I try to clean,

but I forget what I'm doing,in as little as two seconds,

sometimes.. so that I don't know why there is a sponge in my

hand..OH Shit! I must've spilled somethong...but where?? Upstairs?

better go see. Well no spills here ... Thanks God.. didn't I bring

a sponge up here?? Now... where's that sponge? I did go outside for

a sec I think..p[robably out there!

YUP!! I use to sing and entertain.. for twenty years and dodged

every rotten tomato thrown at me! hahaha...why I can't remember how

to react to an upcoming chord change... well.. yes I would be

worthless in that role. I don't know why my fingers can't go where

they used too.. remember how to push the strings, it's too much to

do to remember words AND play the guitar! I just leave it the

corner anymore.

I have viagra, heard it's supposed to help, but please, if your

willing to try I just know I can make you happy.

SOmehow............

What's that cutie? you don't think this this is gonna' work out?

I understand...really I do... God Bless You!! Sure, sure.. we'll

talk later......but really, I'm sorry my earlobe bled... it was

just cause of very dry skin. I offered you some of my baby

wipes..WITH a touch of anti viral stuff in there... you can have

one any time you like!

DE... AM I still a man? Have I become worthless? It appears I am

worthless, and can not show the traditional traits a man shows a

woman when looking for a partner. BUT... That is someone elses bag

of rocks (load) to carry..not mine!!

It's a really good topic.

So do the things I've mentioned above...make me out to be just

another man, hardheaded, wants to lick his wounds alone...so no one

see's him so weak....and sick..???

Isn't there some sort of template, or protocol, so we don't come

across as dumb and stupid, as a lot of women see us. Even the ones

that are not Menhaters.

If you or any female,didn't have this disease, and did not truly

understand compassion and caring, as we do now, because we are

sick! Not fully realizing what love is and compassion, unless you

have been near to where we are, how could you understand if you

have never had to deal with it.. Would you honestly call someone

like your Dad, or Mom.. and gushing with happiness and joy... tell

them you found a " REAL MAN " ... to help with the kids,and he's just

so wonderful... say, I have met my dream Man? For sure some might,

but most healthy women aren't as understanding as sick women.Even

if they were, being an emotional, crying wreck about to happen is

not what most want. There is more fear than bravado running through

the warriors viens, but he can not and must not let it show,if he

does ..he's lost. Sounds like Bullshit, doesn't it? Stupid! The

kind of thing that only a man would do, but the bullshit is real.

Not just in Nam or the middle East or Europe, or HERE! It is

bullshit, but it's bullshit that must be handled, and it's not a

game. It's so very real. Just look at your local cemetary. It's

seeming non stop, so I would think a little of this killing,

maiming insanity, may run over the top a little, especially with

the brainwashed upbringing, that we must appear tough, strong and

ready.. damn near all the time...... I am not depressed, or feeling

sorry for me or anyone else. It's just what I see....

Now...I'm sounding worthless. It is not so hard to understand, but

then I'm a Man....... and I just can not let anyone know how truly

worthless I am, I was just drawn, or programmed like this, Big Boys

Don't Cry, you BIG BABY!! or show weakness, or run away from a

challenge. I'm a wierd oh.. I see all of this going on.. and just

try to be me. Wanna' see some guys with REAL masculinity problems??

Go to a Big Ticket boxing match. Every man in the place is flexed,

as some insects and animals do to show their might.... will NOT

move to let you by, to get to the bathroom stall , because he is

not giving any space he won, and inside the bathroom people push

and shove and cuss, and pee where ever, cause they made it their

spot. Kinda' like Prison...I guess.

Love always,

Del

>

>

> --- Motley wrote:

>

> > Thanks, Del. I knew you'd give an honest answer. It makes

> > sense. Do any

> > other men have input on this?

> >

> >

> >

> > So does this translate to feelings of worthlessness when you

> have

> > serious

> > chronic illness - maybe now while you're still functioning

> well,

> > but when

> > you get to limboland where you can't work but can't get a

> > transplant either?

> >

> >

> >

> > De

> >

> > Re: Hey, men????

> >

> >

> >

> > Hi , Pat,

> >

> > It's a good question

> > My answer is that's it's social dogma.

> > We have been 'trained' this way....

> > It is changing I believe,

> > Remember the sixties? and long befor that.

> >

> > Big boys don't cry

> > Big boys smile and take the pain

> > If your lost, what good are you? you are unreliable.

> > Don't show your weakness...to ANYONE!

> > Big strong men don't get sick!

> > Long ago men where the hunters...providers..

> > if your sick and even too weak to move,

> > what good are you? Can't hunt?

> > Then you are not a good man.

> >

> > That's some I can think of right away.

> > Men feel an obligation to protect

> > not be protected. This has changed drastically over the years,

> > but

> > still lingers............

> >

> > A man can be dying....

> > most will stand and beat their chest,

> > while they take their one last breath ........

> > if danger threatens him or his.

> > Put on a facade, for the enemy to see

> > that your still protected, and the family.

> >

> > It may seem like BS to some, but some

> > of us are still that way

> >

> > ... Big Boys DON " T cry!!!!!

> >

> > I hope this helps you see

> > The why's and whats,

> > of what some think....

> > is complete insanity.

> > Del

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

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