3 jokes; Sex, Church, & Pancakes

[Guest guest]

Sex


     The

mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.

Worried

the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact thefamily's status, she

consulted the family doctor.

       The doctor told her that teenagers

today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result

in
rebellion. He then told her to arrange for

her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give

her a box of condoms.

     Later

that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, thewoman told her about

the situation and handed her a
box

of condoms. The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother

saying:

    'Oh

Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating !'

Church

    A man went to church

one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said

'Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!'

The

preacher said, 'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.'

The

man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand

dollars in the offering plate!'

The

preacher said, 'No sh-t?'

Pancakes

    and Steve took

their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that

although
their little angel

appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After

examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes.

That should solve the problem.'

The

next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm

pancakes in the middle
of

the table.

'Gee,

Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'

'Just

take two,' replied. 'The rest are for your father.'

One

Thing in Common

Politicians

and diapers have one thing in common.
 They

should both be changed regularly and for the same reason