First Post...Re: Son Rise

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> " I think the importance of Son Rise is that it is a recognized

therapy, so when I am working with parents I have evidence for them

that it is important for them to join the child's world if they want

him or her to join theirs.? "

Hello everone,

This is my first post. I'm self-diagnosed and just totally accepted

it about a week ago...I'm in my late 50's.

My first real job years ago was in the community based programs for

disabled children who were being brought out of the state institution

setting.

One little girl was around 4, diagnosed as severely mentally retarded,

schizophrenic and autistic. She was on heavy meds, head-banged,

pulled out her own hair, pinched her skin with her fingernails, banged

on everything, put her hand over her ear and made sing-song noises,

constant waundering. Her room at home had only a mattress, as she

would knock over furniture and tear things up. She was totally locked

inside herself. Totally alone. And the teachers were trying

everything to force her to participate in regular activities with no

success and seemed to cause even more distress to this child.

So I decided to become part of her world. It seemed to me, like she

was overwhelmed with sensory input and that her behaviors were

attempts to control, push away unwanted and overwhelming input. It

seemed she was trying to comfort herself...that everything hurt her.

What I did, was follow her around and become part of her world. When

she head banged, I would step in front of the wall and she would end

up banging on me, when she went to pinch herself, I put my arm in the

way,...I never asked her to do anything. I never asked her to come

into my world, I was looking to be part of hers. I mirrored her as

much as possible. She banged on the table, I banged on the table. I

accepted everything and participated with her. She wasn't alone

anymore. I almost got fired for sitting on her cot with her and

rocking, lol. Of course, I didn't know I was autistic too, but this

was so easy for me, so natural. I knew but I didn't know how I knew

or even that I knew....there are no words for some things.

How did I know how to communicate with her, without words?

I wondered, now and then, if I was autistic too.

It worked so well, that within three months most of her self harming

behaviors had stopped. And what happened? The psychologist who ran

the program, said, 'wow, she's trainable, let's put her in the

behavior modification unit. If you can do this with her, anyone can.'

And I was forbidden any contact, and of course, she reverted to an

even worse state. M & M's didn't work and they couldn't figure out why.

Ugh!! It broke my heart, I felt that I'd harmed her, by creating a

safe place for her, gaining her trust, only to have it all taken away,

beyond my control.

So, I agree, that entering into the autistic child's world, mirroring

and creating a safe place is the gentlest way to create a bridge. But

the child has to want it, it can't be forced, and it can't be faked.

I used to think of life like I'd fallen out of a spaceship, into

Yankee Stadium, last game of the World Series, ninth inning, bases

loaded, and someone hands me a hat and a stick and says, " Win the

Game!! " Game, what Game? What's a Game? And what's this stick and

why are all these people screaming at me? Why is that guy throwing

balls at my head? I don't know how to win the game, I don't know the

rules, guess I'm just not from around here. These folks are insane,

you can have your stick back, where's the exit?

How come I don't know what everyone else seems to know? Something's

wrong with me, something's broken. I have to pretend to be like

everyone else. But, damn if I can figure out why they do what they do!!

Where is my tribe? Isn't there anyone else like me?

I don't know much about the autistic community yet, and I've stepped

into the middle of an intense discussion.

But gosh, how I wish someone had made the effort to enter my world, to

create a bridge for me....

MistyOwl,... as in 'sitting alone on a branch in the dark foggy night,

while most folks run around on the ground in the bright light of day,

that only hurts my eyes and I can't wear running shoes.'