Five ways to find Dr. Right

[Guest guest]

Five ways to find Dr. Right

Your relationship with your physician involves trust and vulnerability

By Cohen

CNN

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/02/14/ep.finding.dr.right/index.html

A few years back, Amy went on a search for a new doctor. She had to.

Her old doctor fired her.

The search for a new doctor can have a lot of parallels to the search

for just the right mate.

Amy never dreamed her doctor would ditch her, but there she found

herself, reading his certified letter giving her 30 days to find a

new physician. After a few moments of soul searching -- Had she asked

too many questions? Brought in one too many Internet printouts? --

Amy set out to find her perfect doctor match.

" I was more than ticked off. I'd been with him for almost 10 years, "

says Amy (that's not her real name; because of the contentious nature

of her relationship with her doctor she asked to use a

pseudonym). " It was a lot of stress finding a new doctor I could

trust. "

Breaking up, finding a new partner, hoping for the perfect match:

Sound a lot like relationships? That's not a coincidence. Both

involve trust, vulnerability, and seeing your most private body

parts. " I consider the doctor-patient relationship to be as intimate

as a life partnership, " says Dr. Vicki Rackner, a professional

patient advocate. " There are lots of nice people out there, but you

would not want to marry most of them. "

1. Date before you get married

" Just as you would 'do' coffee on a first date instead of a weekend

together, so, too, go to the first appointment with a problem of a

limited scope, like a mole or a thyroid check, " Rackner advises.

You can also go with no problem at all -- make an appointment to just

chat with the doctor to get a feel whether you like him or her. Be

aware, though, that as with dating, first impressions might be a bit

rosy. " 'Meet the doctor' visits are nice, but everybody's on their

best behavior, and there's no stress, " says Dr. Victoroff,

another patient advocate.

2. Check them out on the Internet

If you Google a guy or gal you've started to date, Google a

prospective new doctor, too. And why not go to MySpace and FaceBook --

you never know what you'll find.

Even more important, there are loads of Web sites that keep objective

information on doctors. Check on training and board certification at

the American Medical Association. Find out if they're board certified

in a particular specialty. Several Web sites (such as RateMDs.com and

HealthGrades.com) also have doctor ratings -- make sure you find out

what criteria they use.

3. Check out the family

Remember, you're not just marrying the doctor. You're marrying the

whole family, which for a doctor means the office staff. They're way

more important than you might think. When you're feeling desperately

ill, you're at their mercy to squeeze you into a packed schedule. " A

great doctor who has a grouchy receptionist, rude nurse, careless

assistant and obnoxious partner is going to frustrate you, " Victoroff

says.

4. Ask your friends to fix you up.

But choose your friends carefully. If you're a Type A person who

likes to ask lots of questions, asking your meek friend for a

recommendation might end up in a mismatch. Choose someone who thinks

more the way you do.

5. Go with your gut

This is perhaps the most important. It's perfectly OK to reject

doctors simply because there's something about them that makes you

feel a bit ill at ease. " I would suggest that patients actually like

their provider, " says Dr. Woods, a surgeon who founded a

group called Civility Mutual to help improve communication between

patients and health care providers. " Patients should, after their

first visit, have a sense of trust. "

After her " divorce, " Amy found love again by following this advice.

Her new doctor doesn't seem to be offended when she brings in

information off the Internet or asks a lot of questions. " She seems

to respect the fact that I have a lot of questions. She takes her

time with me and isn't in a rush, " Amy says.

Here's a final hint from someone who literally wrote the book on

finding a new doctor. Hal Alpiar, author of " Doctor Shopping: How to

Choose the Right Doctor for You and Your Family, " says think about

what you're looking for in a doctor. For example, objective

information is important for a surgeon ( " Doctor, how many times have

you performed gastric bypass surgery? " ) but bedside manner may be

more important for an internist. " You're not going to find a doctor

who has everything. Those are the Disney doctors, " Alpiar says. " Real

doctors aren't perfect. "