First Post...Re: Son Rise

[Guest guest]

Hi two b sailing,

welcome to the forum.

" Ugh!! It broke my heart, I felt that I'd harmed her, by creating a

safe place for her, gaining her trust, only to have it all taken away,

beyond my control. "

I have seen similar happen with other children, it is heartbreaking.

Sometimes support is provided and progress is made, only to have it

ripped away, or what is working changed, then it is the child that

suffers :-(

" How come I don't know what everyone else seems to know? Something's

wrong with me, something's broken. "

Quite a lot of people with autism end up feeling like this and I

personally do not think there is anything particularly wrong, or that

people with autism are broken. Different yes.

I still do not, nor probably will ever fully understand people, but I

have looked into such areas, to try and find out why people act the

way they do. Like I said I'll probably never fully 'get it', but

sometimes theoretically I can understand somewhat now.

Hope you enjoy the forums.

>

> > " I think the importance of Son Rise is that it is a recognized

> therapy, so when I am working with parents I have evidence for them

> that it is important for them to join the child's world if they want

> him or her to join theirs.? "

>

> Hello everone,

> This is my first post. I'm self-diagnosed and just totally accepted

> it about a week ago...I'm in my late 50's.

> My first real job years ago was in the community based programs for

> disabled children who were being brought out of the state

institution

> setting.

> One little girl was around 4, diagnosed as severely mentally

retarded,

> schizophrenic and autistic. She was on heavy meds, head-banged,

> pulled out her own hair, pinched her skin with her fingernails,

banged

> on everything, put her hand over her ear and made sing-song noises,

> constant waundering. Her room at home had only a mattress, as she

> would knock over furniture and tear things up. She was totally

locked

> inside herself. Totally alone. And the teachers were trying

> everything to force her to participate in regular activities with no

> success and seemed to cause even more distress to this child.

> So I decided to become part of her world. It seemed to me, like she

> was overwhelmed with sensory input and that her behaviors were

> attempts to control, push away unwanted and overwhelming input. It

> seemed she was trying to comfort herself...that everything hurt her.

> What I did, was follow her around and become part of her world.

When

> she head banged, I would step in front of the wall and she would end

> up banging on me, when she went to pinch herself, I put my arm in

the

> way,...I never asked her to do anything. I never asked her to come

> into my world, I was looking to be part of hers. I mirrored her as

> much as possible. She banged on the table, I banged on the table. I

> accepted everything and participated with her. She wasn't alone

> anymore. I almost got fired for sitting on her cot with her and

> rocking, lol. Of course, I didn't know I was autistic too, but this

> was so easy for me, so natural. I knew but I didn't know how I knew

> or even that I knew....there are no words for some things.

> How did I know how to communicate with her, without words?

> I wondered, now and then, if I was autistic too.

> It worked so well, that within three months most of her self harming

> behaviors had stopped. And what happened? The psychologist who ran

> the program, said, 'wow, she's trainable, let's put her in the

> behavior modification unit. If you can do this with her, anyone

can.'

> And I was forbidden any contact, and of course, she reverted to an

> even worse state. M & M's didn't work and they couldn't figure out

why.

> Ugh!! It broke my heart, I felt that I'd harmed her, by creating a

> safe place for her, gaining her trust, only to have it all taken

away,

> beyond my control.

> So, I agree, that entering into the autistic child's world,

mirroring

> and creating a safe place is the gentlest way to create a bridge.

But

> the child has to want it, it can't be forced, and it can't be faked.

>

> I used to think of life like I'd fallen out of a spaceship, into

> Yankee Stadium, last game of the World Series, ninth inning, bases

> loaded, and someone hands me a hat and a stick and says, " Win the

> Game!! " Game, what Game? What's a Game? And what's this stick and

> why are all these people screaming at me? Why is that guy throwing

> balls at my head? I don't know how to win the game, I don't know the

> rules, guess I'm just not from around here. These folks are insane,

> you can have your stick back, where's the exit?

> How come I don't know what everyone else seems to know? Something's

> wrong with me, something's broken. I have to pretend to be like

> everyone else. But, damn if I can figure out why they do what they

do!!

> Where is my tribe? Isn't there anyone else like me?

> I don't know much about the autistic community yet, and I've stepped

> into the middle of an intense discussion.

> But gosh, how I wish someone had made the effort to enter my world,

to

> create a bridge for me....

>

> MistyOwl,... as in 'sitting alone on a branch in the dark foggy

night,

> while most folks run around on the ground in the bright light of

day,

> that only hurts my eyes and I can't wear running shoes.'

>