Re: Caution doing an article for anyone

[Guest guest]

OMG, , this is horrible. Can you contact the magazine and ask for

it to be removed from their on-line archives? I remember when the

article was done - it was such good awareness for CMT and for kids.

It is such a shame that this particular media/magazine didn't have

enough ethics to at least change his name.

Also wondering if you can talk to an attorney about this, since he was

a minor at the time it was written and went on line too.

In spite of CMT needing 'more awareness', we should all be carefull

about exactly how our stories and those of children with CMT will be

used for the benefit of CMT, and not destroy lives.

Let me know if there is anyway I can help with this. Maybe Rick has

some ideas from his tech standpoint.

Gretchen

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry. I know you had all the best intentions and would not have

done it had you known this would be the outcome.

It's a shame the magazine won't change his name as that will make others not

what to do the same and that will then hinder getting the info out and help for

others. Have you tried to call the magazine? Sometimes you can get further if

you call and try to speak to some one at the top.

I know your son is upset with you right now but I'm sure he doesn't hate you.

Give him some time to cool off and though he will still wish that it wasn't out

there, he will come to accept that what's done is done and hopefully he will be

able to move on.

Carmella

PS - If some chick would take the time to google him then find this out and

choose to not get to know him - her loss - who would want some one like that any

way - he'll soon realize that too.

[Guest guest]

Wow , that is something I would never have thought of. I am sorry you and

your son have to go through this.

I do want to let your son know that I do background investigations for a living

and I have to say, I have never really googled anyone I was dating, so it may

not be as drastic as he thinks.

When I speak with my brother in law (an attorney) I will ask him what you can

do.

Jackie

[Guest guest]

,

I'm so sorry your family is going through this.  The reality is that people do

google each other now.  I did it when I was dating a few years ago.  I learned

my date (now husband) was a published author before he told me.  I personally

think it's a wise thing to do, especially for women.  Regardless of our personal

views on this subject, the reality is that kids are doing it.

If the article can't be removed with legal action or threat of legal action,

perhaps he would be interested in writing his own article, telling his story in

a positive way and taking pride in being a role-model.  Perhaps writing

something himself would give him back control.  Just a thought.  It's a very

difficult situation.  I'm so sorry.

[Guest guest]

I am outraged by this. It's not about your son's dating - it is

clearly an abuse of the media, and if I recall, this article was

written while he was still a minor. While you may have given

permission to print publication of the magazine, you did NOT give

permission for the same article to be placed on-line.

Children have rights, apparently this journalist and organization

have a problem with ethics and lack of respect for the child.

Exercepts from http://www.kidsfirst.org/articles-info/child-un.htm

2)To Respect the Integrity of the Child.

One of the important aspects of the Convention on the Rights of the

Child is that it presents a truly modern attitude towards children

themselves. It recognizes the vulnerability of children in certain

circumstances but also their capacity and strength for development. A

major emphasis in the convention is that each child is unique. All

this can be undermined through negative stereotyping. Likewise, the

media should be careful not to violate the integrity of individual

children in their reporting on, for instance, crime and sexual abuse.

The convention specifically protects the individual child from

violations of his or her privacy, honour and reputation.

3)To Allow Children to Participate in the Media.

One of the principles of the convention is that the views of children

be heard and given due respect. This is also reflected in articles

about freedom of expression, thought, conscience and religion. It is

in the spirit of these provisions that children should not only be

able to consume information material but also to participate

themselves 'm the media. The idea is that children, in fact, should

be able to express themselves and that their views be sought.

4)To Protect Children against Harmful Influences through the Media.

While the convention requests access for children to the media, it

also reflects concern about the risk of children being harmed by some

reports and information material. The idea is that the integrity of

the child should be respected in the reporting.

The press and other media do always express directly or indirectly -

a position towards children and their rights. Their attitude is, in

fact, reflected precisely in the way they describe children and

monitor their rights, the extent to which - and how they let children

have a voice and the steps they take to avoid to abuse children they

themselves. The performance of the media on these aspects also

portray an image of the child in general which in turn affects

people's opinions and thereby political decision making.

How Is the Child Portrayed?

There are few international com parative studies on the media image

of children. Discussions on this problem have primarily been held on

the national level. Still, it seems possible to define certain

broader trends at least in order to specify topics for future

research. There is of course a difference between types of media.

Within the press, the tabloids are distinct from other newspapers and

there are differences between various kinds of magazines and

periodicals; among them there are those which address parents of

children or are aimed at children themselves. One clear impression

when analyzing the media in general, and the daily newspapers in

particular, is that children are described from a distance. This

seems to be a pattern in a number of countries, also outside the

industrialized north. When children are the focus, they come across

as objects and somehow unreal. They appear to be weak - at least

before their teens - and not in any sense strong and capable.

Look through this too http://www.unhchr.ch/html/menu3/b/k2crc.htm

[Guest guest]

,

It's a good thought if he were that kind of a kid. I think he just has so much

to deal with that he won't deal with his CMT and move on. He wants to be like

everyone else. I know, I feel helpless.

[Guest guest]

,

As a parent, I can relate.  I too am very familiar with parental guilt. 

Unfortunately, none of us are perfect.  The good news is, as many here have

already commented, these types of situations tend to get better with time.  I

have a 20-something child.  During the teenage phase, it seemed there wasn't

much I could do right, but suddenly, in just a matter of a few years,

things changed dramatically and somehow I got a whole lot smarter. 

Things will get easier.  It won't be such a big deal in a few years.  You acted

with good intentions, which does matter and will make a difference to him in a

few years.  You probably helped a lot of people at the time and you've certainly

done a great service by sharing your story now with others.

Someday he will realize what a great mom he really has!!!  Just wait,

you'll see!

Big hugs,