Guest guest Posted December 1, 2001 Report Share Posted December 1, 2001 Thanks for the advice Robin and everyone. I did threaten legal action, his response was.. " You need to do what you need to do. " This principle feels the same way about everyone, if your being bullied YOU did something. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2001 Report Share Posted December 1, 2001 I hate that macho type that blames the victim. Judy Re: bullying Thanks for the advice Robin and everyone. I did threaten legal action, his response was.. " You need to do what you need to do. " This principle feels the same way about everyone, if your being bullied YOU did something. Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 27, 2004 Report Share Posted May 27, 2004 Oh my goodness! I'm so glad the worst that ever happened to me was a boy verbally making fun of me. I was called " ostrich legs " but what do you expect I hope that girl gets everything she deserves. Summer school shouldn't happen because it wasn't her fault, they should just let her come back!!! Poor girl!!!!!!!! ~ >===== Original Message From Marty <martie@...> ===== >I found it outrageous that a disabled child would be treated in this >manner. > >http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/3348196/detail.html > >While the administration is admitting to an error in judgment and is now >offering to help the family with summer school, they are stonewalling >the media. You all know I've always been reluctant to voice my opinion >(rrrrright, I'm just a wallflower) but I think this is an err that >should never have come close to being made. > >The phone # to the school is 303-375-5970 and the principle's name is > Gatewood (the article said something about an interim principle >so may be in the process of updating her resume and might be >too busy to take calls). During the summer the office closes at 3PM. >Their website appears to be inoperative at the moment. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 28, 2005 Report Share Posted February 28, 2005 Thanks, It is a very good idea. It may not working fully for my child, but it sure will help some other kids, I will forward this to his teachers. Jin --- In , " Doug & McCreary " <dmccreary@s...> wrote: > > > There was a thread on bullying earlier this week. Here is something interesting from another list I'm on. > > Ben's recess buddies effective bullying deterrent > Monday, February 28, 2005 > I wanted to write in regards to Moir's response to a parent's question on the issue of bullying. My son is also eight years of age, has autism, has some language capabilities, but many difficulties in communicating. > > When I first heard from teachers and school mates that bullying was going on during recess, I decided to take action quickly. Since my son loves school, I did not want bullying to become a deterrent to learning for him. I spoke to his teacher and EA and suggested a recess " buddy " program. The children volunteer each day to be my son's recess buddy. Their job is to " shadow " Ben and, if they see bullying taking place, to help him verbalize (e.g., " Stop it. " , " Go away " , " Leave me alone " ) or to help him use his words to tell a teacher. > > This has proven effective on several levels. First of all, it involves his classmates in the solution to the problem of bullying. They enjoy the responsibility and take it very seriously. Second, it has the added benefit of encouraging socialization. One of his classmates recently told me about her experience being Ben's recess buddy. During the morning recess she had asked him if he wanted to play, to which he responded, typically, " No. " During the afternoon recess, she asked him again and he agreed to play. Since then, many of the children play with Ben during recess, if he is inclined to do so. > > I believe that empowering his classmates to stop the bullying was an incredibly positive step for both Ben and the other children. Please share our story if you think it will be of help. > > Sherry Houston, > Vice-President > Autism Society Ontario, Hamilton Chapter > > --------------------------------- > > I missed most of the Academy Awards last night, but from the mentions on the papers today, I believe Autism is a World won an award for short story documentary. A listmate shared the following: > > Autism is a World will broadcast on CNN Presents, Sunday May 22, 2005 > 8PM EST. > > ------------------------ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2006 Report Share Posted May 21, 2006 Shayla, I had this experience in the school my son attended. He is LD/ADHD but the child who was bullying the whole class was ED. His teacher at the time wrote something on a behavior assessment that I had submitted to her that sparked concern. I called her and asked why she put the comment on the assessment. She then proceeded to tell me there was student bullying the class and was disruptive. She spoke with his mother on many occasions and mom said it was puberty!! Teacher told me she wanted to build a case by documenting notes to me and I guess other parents. I asked my son about these incidents. He was terrified to talk about what he was experiencing. All the blood rushed to my head--I was livid. I looked at the slaw website (this incident happend maybe a year after the Columbine incident) and read about bullying. I also remembered reading on a listserv that a parent wrote a letter to the principal. I checked out law website. The principal is the one who needs to be notified in writing about what is going on and involve the teacher also. I wrote the letter quoted info from the slaw website, cc'd a special ed attorney, and other advocates who could help the parent get help for her son if the mom did not know how to access services. The letter had a threatening tone. I did state this behavior was affecting my sons mental health. They were livid with me but took immediate action and took the child out of the class. In your case the teacher should not allow the kids to bully him. She has to set the rules in the classroom. Turn the tables--how would she like to be bullied every day!! Chelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Sally, That was my first inclination because I was so angry. I doubt I'd have carried out anyway as logic usually overrules me in the end :-)) Sorry about your daughter. That of course rings bells here too...>>sigh<<< bullying You mustn't visit them at home. You immediately become wrong. Going through the school is the way the school recommends. As long as you follow that you can complain if it is ineffective.My daughter was persecuted by two girls in school who got hold of her phone no and rang it all the time pretending to be friends asking for her. We left it on answerphone all the time and let her listen to their voices floundering around trying to make up stuff to say. Sally Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 I think there was a DfES initiative about bullying and the NAS gave evidence - might be worth checking their websites. Also perhaps try Young Minds website. Margaret > > Sally, > > That was my first inclination because I was so angry. I doubt I'd have carried out anyway as logic usually overrules me in the end :-)) > > Sorry about your daughter. That of course rings bells here too...>>sigh<<< > > > bullying > > > You mustn't visit them at home. You immediately become wrong. Going through the school is the way the school recommends. As long as you follow that you can complain if it is ineffective. > My daughter was persecuted by two girls in school who got hold of her phone no and rang it all the time pretending to be friends asking for her. We left it on answerphone all the time and let her listen to their voices floundering around trying to make up stuff to say. > Sally > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Off for a look. J bullying> > > You mustn't visit them at home. You immediately become wrong. Going through the school is the way the school recommends. As long as you follow that you can complain if it is ineffective.> My daughter was persecuted by two girls in school who got hold of her phone no and rang it all the time pretending to be friends asking for her. We left it on answerphone all the time and let her listen to their voices floundering around trying to make up stuff to say. > Sally> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2007 Report Share Posted April 13, 2007 OOPS. . .Hugs was for you, Laurie and your dd. lol Got mixed up when responding and put LT. Sorry. BJ > > My dd is increasingly becoming the target of harrassment from her class mates. This is mostly nasty girl stuff...snotty remarks. She stands out, and is quiet. She is getting depressed again, and has stomach aches before school. She's in 6th grade, middle school. > > I've talked to the counselor, and they have been good at moving kids, but it's getting to the point where they can't just move everyone! > > How much is too much? I've thought about sending her to a private school for learning disabled kids (because she has a serious learning disability too, we have an IEP). But that would mean she would have to give up violin, and she really likes playing in the orchestra. > > I've also thought about home schooling, though that would be really hard. My mom, a former teacher, is completely against that because of the socialization factor. But isn't there homeschool groups for that? > > I'm sure some of you have had to deal with your kids getting picked on. How do you deal with it? I wanted to cry when I sent my dd into school today. > > Laurie > > > --------------------------------- > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell? > Check outnew cars at Autos. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2007 Report Share Posted April 13, 2007 OOPS. . .Hugs was for you, Laurie and your dd. lol Got mixed up when responding and put LT. Sorry. BJ > > My dd is increasingly becoming the target of harrassment from her class mates. This is mostly nasty girl stuff...snotty remarks. She stands out, and is quiet. She is getting depressed again, and has stomach aches before school. She's in 6th grade, middle school. > > I've talked to the counselor, and they have been good at moving kids, but it's getting to the point where they can't just move everyone! > > How much is too much? I've thought about sending her to a private school for learning disabled kids (because she has a serious learning disability too, we have an IEP). But that would mean she would have to give up violin, and she really likes playing in the orchestra. > > I've also thought about home schooling, though that would be really hard. My mom, a former teacher, is completely against that because of the socialization factor. But isn't there homeschool groups for that? > > I'm sure some of you have had to deal with your kids getting picked on. How do you deal with it? I wanted to cry when I sent my dd into school today. > > Laurie > > > --------------------------------- > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell? > Check outnew cars at Autos. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2007 Report Share Posted April 13, 2007 I hate bullying. 6th grade is hard enough. My DD has had her share of " girl issues " this year too (6th). I hope we all survive it. Dina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2007 Report Share Posted April 13, 2007 > > > > My dd is increasingly becoming the target of harrassment from her > class mates. This is mostly nasty girl stuff...snotty remarks. She > stands out, and is quiet. She is getting depressed again, and has > stomach aches before school. She's in 6th grade, middle school. > > > > I've talked to the counselor, and they have been good at moving > kids, but it's getting to the point where they can't just move everyone! > > > > How much is too much? I've thought about sending her to a private > school for learning disabled kids (because she has a serious learning > disability too, we have an IEP). But that would mean she would have > to give up violin, and she really likes playing in the orchestra. > > > > I've also thought about home schooling, though that would be > really hard. My mom, a former teacher, is completely against that > because of the socialization factor. But isn't there homeschool > groups for that? > > > > I'm sure some of you have had to deal with your kids getting > picked on. How do you deal with it? I wanted to cry when I sent my > dd into school today. > > > > Laurie > > > > Hi Laurie, I'm homeschooling my 13 year old her core classes and she is going to school for electives (computer, music, yearbook, etc.) The school is working well with us. I understand what your mom is saying, but the lasting damage that can be done by bullying is far worse then any damage that would be done from not socializing. Besides, there are many homeschooling groups and outside activities that she can be a part of. My daughter is doing well. Her anxiety has lessened and she finally seems happy. She actually enjoys going to school now. I just realized that she couldn't be there all day. She was like a square peg being forced to fit into a round hole. She's maturing and she will get there someday, but for now, I feel this will help her to succeed in the long run. I hope this has helped. God bless, Becky > > --------------------------------- > > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell? > > Check outnew cars at Autos. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2007 Report Share Posted April 13, 2007 (((hugs))) Are the classmates threatening or just making fun/teasing (mean) type stuff? Is it mainly in class or in the hallway, lunch...? I would call a meeting with the teachers. Make them aware of it. And they had best take it seriously! That's one thing I did with . The teachers pay no attention or are out of the room when things are said/done, so I told them about it and that I would *like* them to keep an eye out for it, that I wanted it to stop (of course!). And one year while talking to the principal about something, I mentioned that was a good target and had been teased/made fun of and he wanted to be informed if it happened. My older son was being threatened by a classmate in 6th grade. I spoke with his teachers and they arranged things so that the classmate wouldn't have an opportunity to do/say anything. Had the bathroom breaks split, had them in different groups for that; might have my son leave class early for the next by taking a to someone for them, or delay one of them and another would watch the hallway or something, watched them in class.... All without letting my son or other guy know I had ever said anything to them, just kept it " natural. " Luckily the classmate got over being mad at my son. I had stuff saved on harassment in schools back then. Let me know if you want me to look for it. I was doing that so I would have written backup if the school didn't seem to care. If it's making your child uncomfortable in school, it's affecting her learning, etc., so falls under harassment if I recall correctly. > > My dd is increasingly becoming the target of harrassment from her class mates. This is mostly nasty girl stuff...snotty remarks. She stands out, and is quiet. She is getting depressed again, and has stomach aches before school. She's in 6th grade, middle school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2007 Report Share Posted April 13, 2007 In a message dated 4/13/2007 11:27:15 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, wallflower67@... writes: I've talked to the counselor, and they have been good at moving kids, but it's getting to the point where they can't just move everyone! How much is too much? I've thought about sending her to a private school for learning disabled kids (because she has a serious learning disability too, we have an IEP). But that would mean she would have to give up violin, and she really likes playing in the orchestra. Laurie Oh - your poor dd. And bless her heart - violin!!!! Nothing too easy there, eh? My dd took violin in 4th & 5th grade then finally just gave it up. She still enjoyed playing it, but it was just too much practicing for her - she wanted to do other things too. Many schools have a " zero tolerance " for bullying these days because of all the bad press that has come of it. I would push the issue with the school. Just physically moving kids is NOT the answer. These kids need to be dealt with - they need to be taught that what they're doing is unacceptable. Their parents should also be brought into it. Learning disability or not, your daughter has every right to be in that school & not be harassed LT. ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2007 Report Share Posted April 13, 2007 I'm rethinking my decision to keep her in public schools. I had good success with the IEP meeting, and the teachers have been working with her. She had been bullied before, but it seems like it has gotten worse since she was gone for 3 weeks in the hospital. She REALLY stands out right now. She's growing so fast it seems like every time I buy her clothes (and it has to be sweats or wind pants...no jeans or anything that would make her look in style) they are high water on her within 3 months. So I've been buying her the cheap stuff which ends up shrinking faster. She cares nothing about her appearance, and I constantly have to enforce bra, deodorant, brush hair. I don't want to get into implying that if she changes her looks (beyond basic hygeine) that people will like her better. She actually wants to be a boy, which is it's own worry. However, I haven't heard that one as much lately. She is not withdrawn outside of school, generally. She has become withdrawn when she is depressed. She has no problems talking to adults. Until this year, she easily made and kept friends. Do you work outside the home at all? I work part time, two to three days a week. HOw many hours a day do you spend with home schooling? thanks for your help! Laurie svdbyhislove <BJClosner@...> wrote: In , wallflower wrote: I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. As if you don't have enough to deal with, with the OCD and depression. I'm so upset for you. We've not dealt with this too much because we've homeschooled for 8 years. We've never experienced bullying with any of the homeschooled kids functions or get togethers. I will say though, a neighbor kid was once picking on Josh when a bunch of them were playing together. I thought Josh handled it really well. The kid kept pushing Josh and trying to get Josh to fight with him, but Josh is a really easy going, likeable kid. . doesn't want to fight and argue, so Josh just wrestled him the ground and sat on him until the kid agreed to quit it. lol They actually became friends after that. That poor kid had some real family issues that made me realize why he had behaved that way. When Josh was in school, we had contacted the school a couple of times about situations where there was some bullying (a kid who was acting out with pretty much everyone), but sadly, the school didn't do much to rectify it. I wish I had some pearls of wisdom for you. I hope someone else here has some advice that works and helps. Hugs again, BJ --------------------------------- Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell? Check outnew cars at Autos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2007 Report Share Posted April 13, 2007 No problem! thanks for the hugs! svdbyhislove <BJClosner@...> wrote: OOPS. . .Hugs was for you, Laurie and your dd. lol Got mixed up when responding and put LT. Sorry. BJ --------------------------------- Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell? Check outnew cars at Autos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2007 Report Share Posted April 13, 2007 Yes, this helps a lot. Do you live in a large school district? Did they work well with you right off, or did you have to fight with them a bit (or beg them or whatever)? Laurie gladtobegreek <gladtobegreek@...> wrote: I'm homeschooling my 13 year old her core classes and she is going to school for electives (computer, music, yearbook, etc.) The school is working well with us. I understand what your mom is saying, but the lasting damage that can be done by bullying is far worse then any damage that would be done from not socializing. Besides, there are many homeschooling groups and outside activities that she can be a part of. My daughter is doing well. Her anxiety has lessened and she finally seems happy. She actually enjoys going to school now. I just realized that she couldn't be there all day. She was like a square peg being forced to fit into a round hole. She's maturing and she will get there someday, but for now, I feel this will help her to succeed in the long run. I hope this has helped. God bless, Becky > > --------------------------------- > > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell? > > Check outnew cars at Autos. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2007 Report Share Posted April 13, 2007 It is making fun of, making nasty remarks, accusing her of " looking at my pencil " stupid stuff like that. Stuff that there is really no come back for (other than stuff I don't want to recommend my child say!) I mean I can think of a few things I'd like to say to those kids! It's really dumb stuff, but I remember how it affected me when I was in school...I was also a target for that stuff. I think it took me about 20 years to recover! The teachers are aware, since we discussed it at her IEP meeting. Her social issues have just seemed to get worse, and of course they don't do it in front of the teachers. If you read one of my recent posts, I talked about how awkward my daughter is right now, and how she just istn' in to fashion, or make up, or any of that stuff. She is waaaayyyyy behind on that. She has gorgeous long hair, but she won't do anything other than a pony tail. When she was younger, I could get her in pig tails, and maybe a braid, but then those became unacceptable. And while she needed to put on a few pounds, Lithium has put on 20 pounds in 6 weeks. Another 20 pounds and that's going to be a real problem. I was quite alarmed when we pulled up to school today (late) and she said something about wanting to blow the school up! I told her under no circumstances to say anything like that in school! She's never been violent, and we don't have any weapons or dynamite hanging around the house. Thank you for your help! Laurie <@...> wrote: (((hugs))) Are the classmates threatening or just making fun/teasing (mean) type stuff? Is it mainly in class or in the hallway, lunch...? I would call a meeting with the teachers. Make them aware of it. And they had best take it seriously! That's one thing I did with . The teachers pay no attention or are out of the room when things are said/done, so I told them about it and that I would *like* them to keep an eye out for it, that I wanted it to stop (of course!). And one year while talking to the principal about something, I mentioned that was a good target and had been teased/made fun of and he wanted to be informed if it happened. My older son was being threatened by a classmate in 6th grade. I spoke with his teachers and they arranged things so that the classmate wouldn't have an opportunity to do/say anything. Had the bathroom breaks split, had them in different groups for that; might have my son leave class early for the next by taking a to someone for them, or delay one of them and another would watch the hallway or something, watched them in class.... All without letting my son or other guy know I had ever said anything to them, just kept it " natural. " Luckily the classmate got over being mad at my son. I had stuff saved on harassment in schools back then. Let me know if you want me to look for it. I was doing that so I would have written backup if the school didn't seem to care. If it's making your child uncomfortable in school, it's affecting her learning, etc., so falls under harassment if I recall correctly. --------------------------------- Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell? Check outnew cars at Autos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2007 Report Share Posted April 13, 2007 > > I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. As if you don't have > enough to deal with, with the OCD and depression. I'm so upset for you. > > We've not dealt with this too much because we've homeschooled for 8 > years. We've never experienced bullying with any of the homeschooled > kids functions or get togethers. I will say though, a neighbor kid > was once picking on Josh when a bunch of them were playing together. > I thought Josh handled it really well. The kid kept pushing Josh and > trying to get Josh to fight with him, but Josh is a really easy going, > likeable kid. . doesn't want to fight and argue, so Josh just wrestled > him the ground and sat on him until the kid agreed to quit it. lol > They actually became friends after that. That poor kid had some real > family issues that made me realize why he had behaved that way. > > When Josh was in school, we had contacted the school a couple of times > about situations where there was some bullying (a kid who was acting > out with pretty much everyone), but sadly, the school didn't do much > to rectify it. I wish I had some pearls of wisdom for you. I hope > someone else here has some advice that works and helps. > > Hugs again, > BJ > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell? > Check outnew cars at Autos. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2007 Report Share Posted April 13, 2007 Yes, she WANTS to be a boy. She has been saying this for several years. About 3 to 4 years ago she refused to wear " girl " clothes. She has worn only " boy " pants and t-shirts and sweat shirts since then. Admittedly, I " m not a shining example of fashion! I wear sweats around the house and to the stores. I wear scrubs to work. We never go anywhere where jeans aren't acceptable. I have about two nice outfits for banquets, weddings and funerals, At least she keeps her hair very long. Of course that might be because she is afraid of scissors. I've been hearing less and less of " I want to be a boy " and " I never want to get married to a boy " and " I never want to have a baby " lately. Once, she recently, said something along the lines of " when I get married " . I didn't know wanting to be an opposite sex could be an OCD thing. When we had her tested by a neuropsychologist for learning disabilities last fall, I outright asked the psychologist if this meant she might be lesbian or want a sex change later in life, and she said there was no way to tell at this age...the studies have shown no correlation that this type of thinking will necessarily indicate that a child will grow up to have a gender identity issue. I will support my daughter no matter what happens.....but I have to admit it would be hard to all of a sudden have a son! Laurie psmomshopping <psmomshopping@...> wrote: > Laurie, Did you say she wants to be a boy? I have one of those too. My dd is seven and wears all boys clothes too. I thought it was just a fad but I think she is actually doubting who she is. Let me know more. Its one of the first times Ive heard of it on here but I know its an OCD thing. Thanks, Bonnie --------------------------------- Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell? Check outnew cars at Autos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2007 Report Share Posted April 13, 2007 Do you work outside the home at all? I work part time, two to three days a week. HOw many hours a day do you spend with home schooling?--- I don't work outside the home. The heart stuff is so unpredictable that I can't. I can't imagine they would let you go lay down whenever you needed to on a job. If I could work, the extra income would sure help though. When we are schooling, Josh schools for about 3-4 hours a day. He is in 9th grade, so does more than he used to. Most of his friends who go to public school put in 2-3 hours of homework once they get home. I provide the curriculum, write up the assignments, correct his schoolwork and take him to activities. If he gets stuck (which is seldom) we tackle it together. There are answer books and solutions manuals, so it's not as hard as it would sound. We have been out of school since the end of January because of Josh's OCD being so bad right now. I want to focus on getting him better, then we will get back to it. He has worked way ahead because he's been allowed to work at his own pace. He tested all post high school when he tested at the end of the year last year, so I'm not worried about taking some time off. There is a great site that gives you information on homeschool laws concerning different states. It is hslda.com. It has worked for us for 8 years, but it isn't for everybody. I sure wouldn't let socialization stop you though. I agree with a post earlier that said bad socialization is more destructive. Hugs, BJ In , wallflower <wallflower67@...> wrote: > > I'm rethinking my decision to keep her in public schools. I had good success with the IEP meeting, and the teachers have been working with her. She had been bullied before, but it seems like it has gotten worse since she was gone for 3 weeks in the hospital. > > She REALLY stands out right now. She's growing so fast it seems like every time I buy her clothes (and it has to be sweats or wind pants...no jeans or anything that would make her look in style) they are high water on her within 3 months. So I've been buying her the cheap stuff which ends up shrinking faster. > > She cares nothing about her appearance, and I constantly have to enforce bra, deodorant, brush hair. I don't want to get into implying that if she changes her looks (beyond basic hygeine) that people will like her better. > > She actually wants to be a boy, which is it's own worry. However, I haven't heard that one as much lately. > > She is not withdrawn outside of school, generally. She has become withdrawn when she is depressed. She has no problems talking to adults. Until this year, she easily made and kept friends. > > Do you work outside the home at all? I work part time, two to three days a week. HOw many hours a day do you spend with home schooling? > > thanks for your help! > > Laurie > > svdbyhislove <BJClosner@...> wrote: > In , wallflower wrote: > > I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. As if you don't have > enough to deal with, with the OCD and depression. I'm so upset for you. > > We've not dealt with this too much because we've homeschooled for 8 > years. We've never experienced bullying with any of the homeschooled > kids functions or get togethers. I will say though, a neighbor kid > was once picking on Josh when a bunch of them were playing together. > I thought Josh handled it really well. The kid kept pushing Josh and > trying to get Josh to fight with him, but Josh is a really easy going, > likeable kid. . doesn't want to fight and argue, so Josh just wrestled > him the ground and sat on him until the kid agreed to quit it. lol > They actually became friends after that. That poor kid had some real > family issues that made me realize why he had behaved that way. > > When Josh was in school, we had contacted the school a couple of times > about situations where there was some bullying (a kid who was acting > out with pretty much everyone), but sadly, the school didn't do much > to rectify it. I wish I had some pearls of wisdom for you. I hope > someone else here has some advice that works and helps. > > Hugs again, > BJ > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell? > Check outnew cars at Autos. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2007 Report Share Posted April 13, 2007 " She actually wants to be a boy, which is it's own worry. " Laurie, I personally know 2 people who have dealt with gender dysphoria. One had gender reasignment surgery. The other is married and therefore will not have surgery. Both have believed all their lives that they were given the wrong body at birth. It was not a decision they made. Even as small children they felt more like the other gender. If your daughter just says she wants to be a boy, perhaps this is not true for her and she is just imagining her life would be easier as a boy. Has she always wanted to change or this something recent? Also, does she enjoy boy activities more than girly things? Has she ever been sexually abused? It could be that she just does not want to deal with monthly things, etc. My 11 yr old daughter is grossed out by the idea of periods and still thinks sex is gross (although she fantasizes about it a lot). She also has to be nagged constantly about grooming/hygiene and dresses really weird, but not like a boy. She is just very unique. Well, what I actually started out to say is that whatever way your daughter goes as an adult, she is still the same person inside and it is so wonderful that you are open-minded and will support her no matter what. So many families are intolerant when their offspring lead non-traditional lifestyles or want non- traditional things in their life. If wanting to be a boy is part of the OCD, it will pass. She has enough to deal with. Bless you both. P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2007 Report Share Posted April 14, 2007 In a message dated 4/13/2007 11:50:15 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, wallflower67@... writes: Yes, she WANTS to be a boy. She has been saying this for several years. About 3 to 4 years ago she refused to wear " girl " clothes. She has worn only " boy " pants and t-shirts and sweat shirts since then. Laurie - Give it some time. This is another thing I can personally relate to. My dd didn't " become a girl " until, literally, the day before 8th grade started. Up until then, she wanted to be a male Marine. HAHA I'm TOTALLY serious!!!! My sweet baby girl owned a complete set of camouflage - she would play 'marines' with the neighborhood kids (mostly boys) and go on " missions " in the back yards... my husband gave her some camouflage face paint & she thought it was THE BEST present EVER. When our nephew joined the Marines & went to boot camp in South Carolina, we all went to his graduation and my dd actually wore her camouflage uniform to his ceremony! She absolutely idolized that boy. In 5th grade health class they passed out free deodorant - Secret for the girls & Old Spice for the boys.... THREE GUESSES which my daughter brought home!!!!! She also only wore her older brother's hand-me-downs. I could NEVER shop in the girls dept for her - only boys. Then, suddenly, as if someone clicked a light switch on..... it was a complete panic that we get out & shop for " girl " clothes the DAY BEFORE 8th grade started. That's about when we went broke with shopping expenses!!! HA!!!! I guess what I'm trying to say is.... relax, she will change, but let her do it in her own time. There's nothing wrong with being a 'tom boy' and it's not worth making them feel self-conscious about it by forcing the issue with pink bows & dresses. Now, a sophomore in high school, my daughter wears ALL the girl stuff.... hip hugger jeans, tight tops, the only " cammies " she wears now are camisole tops.... {{{{{{{sigh}}}}}}} and the cost of her clothing has gone WAY up since the " boys dept " shopping days! LT ************************************** See what's free at http://www.aol.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2007 Report Share Posted April 14, 2007 Hi Laurie, I live in Michigan and we are with the Livonia School district. It is pretty large. My daughter missed a total of 68 days between Sept. and Jan. My husband and I were at a meeting with them to figure out what we wanted to do. We were ready to tell them that we had decided to homeschool, and believe or not, that was the first thing out of the pricipal's mouth! He felt, along with everyone else that it would be her best option. She has no learning disabilites, so he said there was not much the school could do to help keep her stay there all day. We had a 504, but she was so behind in school work she could never catch up. Her anxiety and panic attacks were really bad. They had no problem and consider her a part-time student. She's allowed to keep her locker, to participate in all activities, etc. They have been very good. It is almost too hard to believe sometimes. If I can help you in any other way, please let me know. It has been a long, hard journey, but I think we have some peace for now! God bless, Becky wallflower <wallflower67@...> wrote: Yes, this helps a lot. Do you live in a large school district? Did they work well with you right off, or did you have to fight with them a bit (or beg them or whatever)? Laurie gladtobegreek <gladtobegreek@...> wrote: I'm homeschooling my 13 year old her core classes and she is going to school for electives (computer, music, yearbook, etc.) The school is working well with us. I understand what your mom is saying, but the lasting damage that can be done by bullying is far worse then any damage that would be done from not socializing. Besides, there are many homeschooling groups and outside activities that she can be a part of. My daughter is doing well. Her anxiety has lessened and she finally seems happy. She actually enjoys going to school now. I just realized that she couldn't be there all day. She was like a square peg being forced to fit into a round hole. She's maturing and she will get there someday, but for now, I feel this will help her to succeed in the long run. I hope this has helped. God bless, Becky > > --------------------------------- > > Ahhh...imagining that irresistible " new car " smell? > > Check outnew cars at Autos. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2007 Report Share Posted April 14, 2007 Yes, she WANTS to be a boy. She has been saying this for several years. About 3 to 4 years ago she refused to wear " girl " clothes. She has worn only " boy " pants and t-shirts and sweat shirts since then. She's only in 6th grade? Some kids are older than peers with some things in life - being interested in dating, clothing style changes, " admitting " you are interested in the opposite sex, physical development.... I buy men's jeans, they fit me better! (no, not the baggy kind my sons buy!) and I bought the men's sweatshirts this past fall as I hated the new women's style in the local stores (changed the neck & sleeve style and stitching). And when still in school, even if she decides to change her clothing style, it'd be hard to do without comments from peers and perhaps drawing attention to herself (I hate attention on me!). 7th grade was when I went boy crazy! I thought my sons would never get interested in girls in THAT way, they were past 7th grade too. Well... did like a few but no girlfriend until high school. (YAY! I was glad about that, LOL) With boys/men and OCD, wondering if they might possibly be gay is common. Probably common for girls/women to wonder about themselves at times too. It is the " doubting disease. " Quick thoughts this a.m.! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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